TwinExchange: "All Thanks to a Drunken Irishman

Pairing: Seamus x Hermione

Prompt: Cheese

Quote: "Yada, Yada, Yada."

Why must people drink to the point of insanity at birthday parties? It's probably all of the free alcohol. Why am I always the sober one? Oh! That's right, it's because I'm the one and only, no-nonsense-

"Her-my-o-knee!" I heard Ronald's slurred, drunken voice interrupt my thoughts. He was so knackered that most of his drink had been dumped on the floor. "You are looking…very…very…" he stopped, seeming to have forgotten whatever it was that he was going to say, and walked off to find another drink.

I sat down on the sofa as Ronald exited to the kitchen. I spotted Harry and Ginny dancing happily. He looked like he was enjoying his party. Unlike Ron and I, Harry and Ginny were able to pick up their relationship again rather quickly after the war ended. I guess whatever it was that Ron and I had could be attributed to the stress of the war.

Now would be the perfect time to have a relationship and I still like Ron, but he doesn't seem to be interested anymore. Once again, I was yanked away from my observations.

"Well bowl me over with the Blarney Stone! What's this? Hermione Granger, sober? I don't believe it," said the male presence that sat beside me. He was drunk, not like the clumsy way Ron had been, but more of the loud and obnoxious way.

"I don't appreciate that sarcastic tone, Seamus," I said trying to drop this conversation quickly. "Yeah? Well, I don't appreciate people asking me if I'm "after their lucky charms?", but that's just life," he drawled on, almost sounding genuinely pissed off.

Hermione was very much not amused by this unwanted company. She tried to redirect the conversation to something less interesting in the hopes that he would tire of her and bug someone else. Favorite cheeses sounded like a do-able subject.

"Seamus, I think you've had a bit too much to drink. Here have some cheese. Cheese is lovely. There are all sorts: Gouda, Mozzarella, Cheddar, Swiss…" she said trying to sound as boring as possible.

"Yada, yada, yada. Hermione, this is why Ron won't date you. You won't drink, you won't have fun, and you talk about cheese. Slightly mental, you are. Ha! I sound like that little green dude, Yoshi. No, that's not right….Yoda, that's it."

I was alight with anger and shocked by the brazen manner of his statement. But, I let it go considering he was extremely influence by alcohol and probably a few of the Hazy-Day-Charms that the twins had been passing out earlier.

I tried to pry the drink out of his grip. Not such a great plan. He pulled me into an awkward side hug. Luna, who had been reading her copy of the Quibbler, looked at our awkward embrace and smiled a bit.

"I mean," He continued, "I can understand why he fancied you during the war. You were pretty badass, fighting and all that. Don't get me wrong, you can still be brilliant and have fun. Rebellious and troublemaking looked good on you. It's like after the war you reverted back to first year Hermione, a little girl with no confidence. For God sake have some whiskey," he ranted.

Hermione was too shocked to speak. He unceremoniously dropped her on the floor and she watched him walked off to dance with Lavender brown or try to. She sat there for a little while longer. "I think I'll have that drink after all." She said to no one in particular and probably louder than she should have. She hopped up and hugged the nearest person, poor Fred was very confused.

The Next Day

"Hey Ron, want to go flying with me?" Hermione asked very energetically.

"Who are you and what have you done with Hermione?" Ron asked skeptically.

"I just thought that I need some activities that didn't involve books for a while."

He still looked at her questioningly, but agreed anyway. Hermione was back, all thanks to a drunken Irishman.