Me, You and Him
Notes: Three people crash, but only one picks up the pieces. Not sure how to describe this fic really, only that it's very strange and I hope you can follow it. It's OOC, but if you read it you'll understand why. It's weird really…my fics seem to be becoming more and more surreal…
I woke up this morning and I was nothing. No memories, no past and barely a present. I could feel a heartbeat but it didn't seem like mine. Nothing seemed like mine. I wasn't held down, but I was held in and held back.
A clock was ticking and the room was full of sunlight. The world outside my window was so normal and far too bright for me to live in.
I woke up this morning and I was a child, taking my first unguided steps. My feet touched the floor but they didn't feel like mine and they wouldn't support my weight. I could raise a hand and blink my eyelids. Open, shut. Tick, tock. The ticking was far too loud so I cried out, and he came and watched, then took it away. How strange. My heart felt so uncomfortable but he felt like he belonged.
My own name escaped me and words wouldn't quite form in my throat, but I remembered your face, and that was enough. The room was very bare and the empty walls seemed to ache.
I woke up this morning and remembered the fog. I could feel it still, surrounding me, creeping into my head. It was very cold and I was so tired, and I could imagine the leather seat beneath me and the belt cutting into my neck. The smell of petrol. The iron taste of blood. A light was flashing on and off, ticking. Tick, tick. The memory hurt quite a lot because I could see you there with me. Your face was stained. Your eyes were open, yet you slept.
You were so far away.
I woke up this morning and for the first time, I was beautiful. He helped me wash my face and he combed my hair and I lay there for a while, running my fingers through it. I noticed the tube in my wrist, nagging and uncomfortable, but the sunlight seemed to make everything more bearable this morning. I touched my hair and he brought back the clock and I was Rose. I listened to it ticking. He spoke to me softly, holding my hand like it belonged to him.
I woke up this morning and there was music in my head. He sat on my bed and held my hand again. We both cried for a while but the birds kept singing. The music they made and the music that only I could hear was very beautiful and he insisted I was too. I believed him and asked for you.
He fell silent.
I woke up this morning and I was ugly. The sky outside was dark and the world was grey. The white inside was far too harsh and the monitor beeped too loudly. He gave me a mirror but didn't speak. I had to smash it. The glass cut me just a little and I remembered pain. He said he loved me and everything would be alright, but he left when I asked for you.
Where are you?
The clock was ticking far too loudly but no one came to take it away. I remembered you screaming and that hurt too, but in a different way.
My first word was you. "Mickey."
I woke up this morning and he kissed my forehead. But my face was scarred and my heart felt uncomfortable again. It wasn't mine. Mine was damaged and they took it away. Your heart is inside me now. You gave that to me. You loved me unconditionally even when I dumped you. I never apologised. Not once.
He wasn't quite sure what to say but that was OK. He's not like us, Mickey.
Me and you, Mickey. We crashed when our way was unclear and we were so very broken. He's trying his best. He's picking up the pieces. He can't leave this time.
I woke up this morning and he was already there. This time he wanted to talk, so I listened and tried my best to understand.
"Good morning," he said, smiling. "How are you feeling?"
"Weak," I said, trying to smile back. "When can I leave?"
"Soon," he lied. "Do you remember who I am?"
"You are the Doctor," I said wearily. "I am Rose Tyler. Stop acting like I lost my mind."
"Sorry," he said humbly. I reached for his hand.
"I didn't mean to snap," I said. "And perhaps…perhaps I did lose my mind."
"You're not crazy, I promise," he said firmly. "It's natural to be confused after something like that."
I blinked, trying not to cry. He thought I could remember everything. The clock was ticking so loudly again…
"Rose…?"
"I remember the fog. There were leather seats and something round my neck. It was so cold…" I trailed off, trying not to look at him. But he understood.
"You were in a car crash, Rose," I heard him say. "A terrible car crash. Mickey was driving. You wanted us to all go out together, to get to know each other better. A normal evening, you said, without the TARDIS. We were on the motorway and another driver lost control. Mickey's car was pushed in the way of another and that one crashed too. It was a terrible, terrible accident." He seemed to shake himself out of his sombre mood, trying to make a joke out of it. "At least I think. I wasn't in the best state either."
I whimpered and pressed my hands against my head, hot tears running down my face. "I can hear it," I whispered, looking at him again. "I can hear him…"
"I am so sorry Rose," he said, holding my gaze.
"I don't remember you," I said wildly, panicking. "I only remember me and…me and…"
He made a hushing noise. "You were in the passenger seat. I was tucked away in the back. You don't have to remember everything." I breathed heavily, feeling Mickey's heart pounding in my chest. I could hear it so loudly that I didn't notice the hurt in his voice, not at first. Later I would.
"Oh God," I murmured, one hand pressed to my chest. "Oh God…Mickey…I can f-feel his heart…"
"It's OK," he said, taking my hands again.
"It's not OK," I whispered. "It'll never b-be OK."
He held me for a while. Or maybe we held each other.
"If it's any consolation…" He reached out a hand slowly and tapped his leg. The sound reverberated oddly. Cold and metal, like a clock chiming.
"Wh…What…?" I asked slowly.
"No more running for me," he said lightly. "But it's lucky I wasn't the one who needed heart surgery. I've had that done before y'know. Doesn't do me any good."
I didn't understand yet. Even when he took my trembling hand and made me feel it too, I didn't understand. I still don't.
Rose Tyler. Mickey Smith. The Doctor. Me, you and him.
We were young, Mickey. It was just me and you.
You weren't ready, Mickey. It was just me and him.
You tried your hardest, Mickey. You tried to make it me, you and him, but it didn't work. It never would have worked.
And now it's just me and him again, and we're so alone together.
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