" Why am I here?" Alucard questioned Seth MacFarlane.
" Look, it's just one episode. That's it. It will take like ten minutes." Seth admitted, pushing Alucard onto the Family Guy set.
" Ten minutes. That's it." Alucard muttered looking around. It looked like a cheap living room.
" Good. That's it." Seth walked to his director chair. " Action!" he yelled.
Alucard growled slightly.
" Hey, nice hat." someone said from beside him.
Alucard looked at them. " Who in hell are you?" he questioned the fat man.
The man grabbed the hat from Alucard's head. " Heh heh heh, I'm a vampire. I want to suck your blood." he laughed stupidly, doing a horrid vampire impression.
Alucard took the hat from the man, and replaced it with a jackal to the forehead. " Who are you?!" he demanded.
" What the duce…?" someone else said. " Where did you get such a weapon? I must have it for myself."
Alucard looked down at a child no more then three years of age. " How can you talk like that? You're far too young!"
" Stewie, leave the poor man alone." a nasally voice scolded.
A red-hair woman picked up the baby.
" Where did you come from?" Alucard asked.
" Mom, Doug told me there's a vampire in the house. Is that true?" an overweight boy asked from the top of the stairs.
" Your pimple? Chris, your pimple can't talk." the red-haired woman sighed.
Suddenly, a cat flew into Alucard's face. " What in hell…?"
"Ha! Got you." somebody laughed.
" Mayor West? What are you doing here?" the fat man asked.
" I could sense bad person here, Peter. And now I got them with my cat launcher." Mayor West stated.
" Bad man? You mean evil? Oh, this is perfect! Man in the red trench coat, what do you do for a living?" the baby asked.
" How are you talking?" Alucard questioned.
The baby jumped from the woman's arms, taking a stake from his pocket. " Answer me, damn it!"
" I…kill…people?" Alucard looked at the baby questionably.
" Ah ha! You are evil! You going to surpass Hitler in my lists of heroes!" the baby laughed.
" What in hell is going on here?!" Alucard questioned. "This doesn't even make sense! There's no plot, no story line, no logic! How does that baby talk?! Why does that man have a cat launcher? Everybody is appearing from mid air?! This is as bad as an American adult cartoon! I don't find any interest in this! Why am I even here?! I should be in England! Fighting Nazis! Blowing up cat-human hybrids! Killing vampires! I don't even know how I go here!!!"
" Long speech…can you translate that to retards, please?" the fat man asked.
" You know what? I'm going to kill you all. This idiotic version of comedy makes me sick." Alucard shot Mayor West in the head.
Everyone started screaming.
Alucard shot the fat man, then the women, and then the boy on the stairs.
He was about to shoot the baby, but the baby started to kiss the ground at his feet.
" You. Are. My. Hero!" the baby cheered.
Alucard had enough of this foolishness, and shot the baby.
" CUT! Alucard you killed off most of my cast! Now the only Griffin left is Meg, and nobody like Meg." Seth slapped himself in the fore head.
A teenage girl with a reddish-pink hat walked over and slapped Seth, then stormed off.
" How could you stand these people. They were complete psychos!" Alucard screamed in his defense.
" Great now I'm going to have to cancel this episode. Thank you for wasting my time." Seth groaned walking off.
" Where the hell is the exit?!" Alucard yelled after him.
In response, the light went out.
Alucard's eyes narrowed. " Well, this sucks."
