Shepard manages to get four other crewmembers to play a game of Axis and Allies with him.
"Hmm, imitation of Earth War lasting from 1939-1945. Commonly known as WWII, very popular war among human fiction. Five sides with various pros and cons, I choose the United States, prefer large budget for research."
"Legion, which one do you choose?"
"752 programs favor the United Kingdom. We will assume control of this nation"
"Tali?"
"Oh, I guess I'll be Germany."
"Garrus?"
"Japan for me Shepard."
"Figures you guys leave me holding Russia, oh well. Let's play some game!"
1 hour into gaming
"Guys. I'm kinda dying here in Russia."
"We calculate that the reason of Creator-Tali'Zorah's success is lack of participation by Ally-Mordin Solus."
"Busy, am in process of master plan. Legion, divert forces to aid Shepard."
"We have already committed half of our air-power, historically called the RAF to defense of Shepard-Commander."
"Mordin, there's a good chance I'm going to die if you don't do anything."
"Very well, I will "do something.""
2 hours into gaming
"Mordin . . . by "do something" I didn't mean shore up your own borders!"
"Had to protect budget, most important goal."
"We judge that valuable resources are wasted rolling for upgrades that have only a 16.66% of success. Assistance rendered to allies should be top priority."
"Master plan, will unfold later."
"Mordin, you're like the Council during the Geth revolution. Sitting back and doing nothing."
"Yeah Mordin, I'm sweeping across the map as Japan and Tali is closing the pincer in on Russia."
"Have faith. Will see why later."
3 hours into gaming
"Well both Russia and the United Kingdom are destroyed I hope your happy Mordin."
"Yes, am very happy."
"Mordin why are you smiling like that, did you load the dice?"
"No, but you will see since it is my turn. Now I will attack here, here, here, here, and also here."
"What? Mordin how did you get all those troops?"
"No one paying attention, never notice military buildup. Now I shall roll this many dice."
"Uh, no Mordin, you only roll half that much."
"Wrong, upgrade allows me to roll extra dice."
"What! Mordin how many upgrades do you have?"
"All of them."
"Perfect."
4 hours into gaming
"Wow, what a turnaround. We had them on the run Tali and then Mordin came in and wiped us out."
"I have to hand it to you Mordin you had us all fooled."
"Yeah, sorry about the complaints."
"Don't be, aided in fooling the enemy."
"All in favor of making Mordin play the Russian's next time!"
"Me."
"Me."
"900 platforms estimate this would be a favorable-"
"For Pete's sake can't you just say "me" Legion?"
"We."
"'sigh' I guess that's as close as I'm going to get. How do you like the worst country Mordin?"
"Hmmm, low resources, little strategic locations. All in all extremely hard to play. Excellent, provides brand new challenge."
"I just can't win can I?"
"Shepard-Commander's skills elsewhere are admirable. In board games we register a 30.27% decrease in proficiency."
"Thanks Legion . . . thanks a lot."
Hope you enjoyed that.
