Shattered Glass
"Please don't leave me Jo." Charlie cried.
"What did you expect me to do? Say it's no big deal and that we can get past this?" Joey asked rhetorically.
"I, I don't know. All I know is that I'm more sorry than I have ever been in my life. It didn't mean anything! I love you Joey, I always have and always will."
"Love isn't always enough." Joey said coldly.
"You can atleast give me some credit for telling you myself!"
Anger began to build within Joey, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. How was Charlie cheating her fault. Cheating is one thing, but to trying to get sympathy for so called telling the truth was a new low. Joey didn't even know what to think of Charlie anymore.
"Don't you dare say that. None of this is my fault, I shouldn't even be standing here!" Joey yelled before trying to make her way past Charlie and out the door.
Charlie quickly grabbed Joey's arm in bid to stop her lover.
"Don't touch me!"
Charlie had never seen Joey so angry before. There was nothing in her eyes but hatred and she hated it. She hated herself. She so badly wished none of this was happening and they were back to being inlove. After everyone poked fun and her and all the gossip going around town, she couldn't handle it anymore. She didn't mean to sleep with Hugo, he was just there. Once she realized what she had done she just wanted to forget but being in Summer Bay, she knew it would be impossible and that word would get out sooner or later. She knew she had to come clean even with the possibility of losing Joey, she couldn't live with the guilt.
"Joey look at me." Charlie placed her hands gently on Joey's cheeks.
"I know this is none of your fault, I take the full blame. I'm a coward and I don't deserve someone like you. I can't tell you enough how much I hate myself right now, if I could take it all back I would. I love you Joey." Charlie begged.
"I can't even look at you." Joey spat out manuvering herself out of Charlie's hands.
"So what? You're going to throw everything we have away?" Charlie yelled.
"You have no right to yell at me Charlie, I'm not the one who cheated!"
"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry!" The ex lovers protested.
"You don't have to say sorry anymore, I'm gone." Joey said before turning for the door.
In the heat of the moment, Charlie picked up a vase Joey had bought for her and with all her anger and fury, she threw it at Joey. The very expensive glass smashed on the ground making Joey turn around.
"So you're a cheater and now you're trying to physically abuse me? I don't even know who you are anymore Charlie!"
Charlie froze replaying what she had just did. Every word Joey was saying was right, even she didn't know who she was anymore.
"What? Suddenly out of words?"
"There's no point. Nothing I say or do will make you forgive me." Charlie concluded. She didn't want to give up so easily but it was the easier way out.
"Now you can't even fight for what you want. You're a coward Charlie." Joey spat out. "I guess what we had meant nothing to you, I was just some lesbian you could experiment on. And as soon as things got complicated you go and find the nearest dick." Joey didn't hold back.
"Is that what you think of me?" Charlie began to cry. "You were not just some lesbian Joey! I loved you. Love, I still do. My feelings for you were real. Hugo means nothing to me!"
"Save it for someone who cares. Look at you Charlie, you're a mess." Joey didn't want to hurt Charlie but she just couldn't stop the words pouring out.
"Fine! If I'm the horrible person you think I am, maybe I'll live up to my reputation and just go shag every guy in this town!"
"You do that."
"This is how you repay for me for saving your life? Saving you from Robbo? Now I don't know who you are Joey. Maybe I should have let you drown that day!"
Before Charlie could stop herself, it was too late. She said it. She said the worst possible thing she could say.
Joey felt like her heart had just been ripped out of her chest and been punched in the stomach. Did Charlie hate her that much for her to cheat on her and wish she had let her die?
"Joey I'm sorry I didn't mean that!" Charlie pleaded.
"You're right. You should have let me die that day, then I wouldn't have fallen inlove with such a disgusting cheating slut! You deserved what grant did to you!" Joey too instantly regretted what she said, but both woman were so hurt they blurted each other's sore points.
Charlie dropped in defeat. She was exhausted and didn't want to fight anymore and the longer this went on, the more hurtful it got.
"Charlie, I'm sorry that was too far." Joey said sincerely.
"I deserve everything you I get. Everything you said is true." Charlie said in defeat.
"No it isn't. No one deserves to be raped, I should know out of all people."
Both women sat face to face and fell into an uncomfortable silence. Neither one knew what to say nor had the strength to fight anymore. Joey replayed everything in her mind in silence, she wished she hadn't mentioned grant, even she knew that crossed the line. She wanted things to go back to normal, but at this point it doesn't look like it's going back to that. Both women blurted out very hurtful things to eachother that couldn't be taken back.
Joey coudn't take the silence anymore and she got up to leave.
"So that's it? We're over just like that?"
"What do you suppose we do?"
"I want to work through this Joey, I can't imagine my life without you. We can go to couples counselling, I'll never speak to Hugo again, I'll come out to everybody, I'll hold your hand in public. Please I can't lose you."
"I don't want to work through this." Joey ventured.
"Why?"
"I can't see past this Charlie. Everytime we're together I'll just think of him on top of... " Joey stopped herself, saying it would just make her furious again.
"Don't you love me enough to atleast give me one more chance?" Charlie begged for the last time.
"No..." Joey lied through her teeth. The problem was she loved her too much , she didn't want to get hurt all over again, she just couldn't risk it.
Charlie didn't understand she wanted to believe Joey was lying.
"You're lying." Charlie accused.
"I'm not. It's over Charlie." With that, Joey made her way to the exit.
"I hope you know what you're throwing away Joey. If you walk out now, you can't come back." Charlie threated. It was out of Charlie's character to make threats but she wasn't in any state of mind to think through what she was saying.
Joey turned to look at Charlie one last time.
"I do know what I'm throwing away. All we had is shattered like that vase you threw. I love you, but love isn't always enough. I want to forgive you. And I wan't to forget you Charlie." With that Joey was gone.
Charlie broke out of tears, her world had fallen apart.
