Trouble at the henhouse Zelda fic

Malon and Talon, were delivering milk to their best customer, the happy mask man. He happily paid twice the amount they asked, because he loved their milk.

Mask man: *Chinese accent* (this is how I hear him talk in my head as I play) Herrlo Marlon! Tarlon! Do you have my mirlk?

Malon: Yes we do, sir! 100 rupees for that.

Mask man: Ah, good dearl, eh?

Talon: Half off, because you've been so generous in the past.

Mask man: Thank you kindrly. Herle is yourl 100 rlupees.

Malon: Thank you sir. Good-bye!

Mask man: Why you leave so soon? Want to buy mask?

Malon: Sorry, we have to leave. the cows can't feed themselves you know.

Mask man: Oh, ok, Bye bye Marlon!

In the buggy on the way back, Malon and Talon hear chickens clucking loudly, and someone yelling. They figure it's at their farm, so they'd better hurry.

Talon: Huh? What's that?

Malon: Don't worry dad. You know how grumpy the chickens are when they aren't fed.

Talon: ^_^ you're so smart, honey! You're going to be a professor when you're older! I just know it!

Malon: *blushes* DAD! Turn here! You're going to miss the farm!

Talon: I'm just getting forgetful in my old age Malon.

Malon: *giggles* Oh dad.

Talon: *Hillbilly style guffawing* I crack me up!

They arrive at the ranch. They see Link. He's waiting in front of the stable.

Link: *nonchalant whistling* Oh, hey! Malon: What are you doing here?

Link: Umm. just wanted some milk. You know how much I love my milk! Mmm milk!

Malon: You hate milk! You only use it to boost your hp when you're low. *looks like she's remembering something* OH! Sorry, out of context, anyway. You must be here for something else.

Link: Well.

Talon: Well, out with it boy!

Link: I was wondering, if I could just beat your cuckos with my sword again?

Talon: AGAIN!?

Link: Well, the first time was an accident, but I just wanted to try again! I'll never do it again! Promise!

Malon: Link, I think you have a problem.

Link: I think that YOU have a problem!

Malon: I think you've had enough of beating the cuckos Link!

Link: I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH!

Talon: LEAVE! NOW!

Link: Fine! I don't need you! I'll buy my own! But don't forget what I did for the land of Hyrule!

Link leaves. He's in a very irritable mood right now. Everyone is looking at him weird. He's tried beating cows, but his sword doesn't seem to go through the air when he tries to hit them through the stable. *Author's note: Hahaha! Just like in the game* It's now 3:00 a.m., and all the animals are asleep. That's when they heard the cuckos clucking like mad.

Talon: GAK! What the hell is that? Malon? MALONNNNNNNNN!!

Malon: *half asleep* yes dad?

Malon rubs her eyes. She hits a stone of truth on her desk with a deku stick.

Stone of truth: BING! BONG! It's now 3:00 a.m.! Malon: DAD! It's 3:00 am!

Talon: I know, can't you hear the cuckos clucking like they got that mad cucko disease?

Malon: It's mad cow disease dad! And, I'm all the way up here, on the third floor. You're on the ground floor.

Talon: I think Link snuck in. Dammit, I knew we shouldn't have given him Epona!

Malon: Dad! Language! And, anyway, he said he'd get his own.

Talon: Well, I don't believe him. Come with me to see.

Malon: Fine!

Talon: Okay. Let's go.

Malon: See? No one's there! Let's go back.

Talon: Link! You get outta here!

Malon: Wait, who's this?

????: No one's here!

Talon: Well, I believe the shadows. Let's leave.

Malon: *reaches into the shadows and pulls out Link* HUH? I thought you said you were going to buy your own cuckos!

Link: I didn't do it! I swear! It was him! *Points to the screen to a shadow holding a controller*

Malon: Huh?

Talon: *looks puzzled, but pretends he's not* Ummm, ok?

Malon: Who's that guy?

Doughboy: It's me! Link! Keep beating the cuckos!!!!!!!

Link: Yes sir. *keeps beating the cuckos*

Malon: You stop that Doughboy!

Me: NO! I can do what I want! *Taps 'b' button repeatedly to keep slashing cuckos*

Malon: Demmit! I can do nothing in this situation! Fine! Doughboy, you can do as you wish!

Me: Thank you. Malon, Talon, keep up the fine work here at Lon Lon ranch. Get rid of the other guy though. he's gonna be trouble for you later in the game, I mean, uh, I've said too much! *Presses reset button and watches opening screen* Good thing I didn't save! *Opens doughboy file in ocarina of time* Ahh, there we go! *Makes Link beat chickens* go me!