With their 74 wholesome, magical, healthy, white middle-class children streaming out in front of them running towards the Hogwarts Express, Harry and Ginny emerged from the barrier to platform nine and three-quarters, pushing the stroller containing triplets Twangle, Flangle and Dwabe in front of them. The platform was extremely busy, no doubt in part due to the presence of Ron and Hermione, whose 109 super-intelligent, red-haired, equally middle-class children were running around all over the platform colliding with objects and one another, like a Brownian motion of magical incest, a cautionary Dali triptych of the dangers of interbreeding. As the Hogwarts Express steamed down the platform and came to rest before the buffers, a suicidal middle-aged George Weasley, traumatized by his disfigurement and the loss of his twin, threw himself under its wheels with a scream followed by a brief series of bone-splitting cracks, although no-one paid any attention, as George was not part of the main narrative.

As Harry went over to talk to Hermione and Ron, Ginny left again in order to go and knit, clean, take care of some supermarket shopping, practise being homely, cook a roast dinner and have 12 more children before Harry returned that afternoon. Being the perfect wife and mother to a modern day David-Copperfield-meets-Jesus-Christ was no walk in the park. She popped another valium and squeezed her way back out through the barrier into the Muggle station, taking care not to catch her 3-meter pregnancy bump in any openings. However, all was in vain; the babies had grown such in weight that she could no longer keep her balance, and toppling over, she rolled across the station, out of the automatic doors and down the steps, where for the next two and a half hours, she rolled out of control through the streets of London like a giant russet bowling ball, sending traffic and pedestrians flying, before eventually becoming wedged in the entrance to a London Underground station, from which some Muggle firemen had to free her with hydraulic cutting equipment. Fortunately, Ginny was spared embarassment, as since she was not part of the main narrative, no-one actually noticed any of this.

"Oh dear," said Hermione twonkingly, "I seem to have flinkled my doogum."