Don't Say Sorry If You're Not
Emilia POV
Today is the first day of the victory tour. After Rue passed on, Katniss made an alliance with her district partner, Peeta. By some miracle, they used a rule change and both got out of the arena alive. And today they are going to visit District 11 to give their 'thanks'.
I line up with the other kids in the living room. All of us are in our tattered underclothes and pajamas. We file into the tiny kitchen. We all get mushy slop made from mixed water and grain. Sitting at the table, we all dive into our tiny portions. Today, unlike most days, nobody speaks.
I'm the first to excuse myself. I go into the room I share with Rosetta, Ethan, and tiny little Miranda. On the bigger of the two beds sits two outfits, and I instantly recognize the one that is meant for me. Rue's Reaping day dress. As I put it on, tears fall onto the dark blue fabric. I quickly wipe them off, know Rue wouldn't want them on there. She would want me to move on. But she's not here to guide us anymore.
As soon as I finish putting on the navy dress with a collar and accents of white cotton, Rosetta and Ethan barge in with Miranda in tow. Rosetta puts on a sandy old-fashioned dress, while Ethan puts on a white shirt, light brown vest, dark brown pants, and a sandy cap that almost covers his eyes. Then together all three of us manage to get Miranda, who is jumping with excitement because she gets to see Katniss, into a pale pink dress with a puff of fabric that is meant to look like a Rue flower resting on the shoulder delicately.
We meet Mama and Papa in the courtyard of district 11. They had been giving their condolences and visiting Thresh's family. Together, our now slightly smaller yet completely empty family marches onto the platform under the picture of Rue's face. The Mayor comes up and says, "District 11, please welcome the victors of the 74th Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!" With that, the two wooden doors slide open and the Victors step out.
Katniss immediately look straight at me. Her face describes what you should look like if you got a heart attack. She finally turns away when Peeta starts his speech. He says what most victors say- they died with honor, sorry for our loss, the Capitol's forgiveness has spared us….
Then he says something no one thought he would say in a million years. "And as thanks, we would like to each give one month of our winnings to your families, knowing it can in no way make up for your loss." And then he just continues on with his speech, like he didn't just break the law in one of the most extreme ways possible.
Just when they are about to be ushered back into the Justice Building, I give Katniss my 'I look up to you and I'm disappointed' look. It has the effect of spilling her already brimming guilt over the edge. She steps back up to the podium and starts to talk.
Addressing Thresh's family first, she says, "I just wanted to say that, I didn't know Thresh, I only spoke to him once, he could have killed me, but instead he showed me mercy. That's a debt I'll never be able to repay." She now looks at us. "But I did know Rue, She wasn't just my ally, she was my friend. I see her, in the flowers that grow in the meadow by my house, I hear her in mockingjay song, I see her in my sister Prim." At this everyone is crying, especially Mama and Papa. Katniss isn't done though. "She was too young. Too gentle. And I couldn't save her. I'm sorry."
After she finishes, Dale, an old carrot farmer, raises three fingers and whistles Rue's song. Soon everyone, including us, follows his example.
Katniss is pulled, screaming, from the podium. Peacekeepers swarm the crowd, and grab Dale by both of his arms. They force him to his knees on the makeshift stage and put a bullet in his head. While all of this is happening, District 11 has to be restrained by swarms of peacekeepers. Someone screams over the ruckus, "Don't say sorry if you're not!"
Because of the confusion of the district, only one thing is clear:
She is sorry.
So, I really like writing from Rue and Rue's siblings POV. And I'm definitely going to do more like this. And maybe of Rue in the afterlife.
