I'm new to the Supernatural fandom. I'm up to episode 4 of season 3, so please do not leave any spoilers in your reviews. I greatly appreciate it ^_^ But I just had to write this. The end of season 2 was so emotional, so...gripping, that I needed to write what happened between it and the start of season 3. I'd like to think that these small scenes actually happened. So, I hope everyone enjoys :) I hope it's not too similar to what other people have done.
ot older brother is going to die because he saved me.
That was the thought that ran around and around inside Sam Winchester's head during the silent car ride to the nearest motel. Sam knew better than to continue to pressure Dean about the deal he had made, and he knew that Dean wasn't going to be asking any questions about Sam's period of being dead any time soon. Still, Sam wanted to ask. He wanted to know why his life was so important to his brother. Yes, they were family and yes Sam knew that he would lay his life down if it meant Dean would live, but it just didn't fit into his logical brain. What was the use of Sam living if Dean was going to die anyway? What's dead should stay dead. Dean had made up the catchphrase, after all.
He wasn't an idiot. He knew why Dean had done it. Dean cared too much about him, put too much weight on his own shoulders about protecting Sam. On top of it all, Dean was afraid of being alone. Sam knew. He knew that Dean was comforted by someone being there, despite his almost unbreakable tough-guy attitude. So, for that reason, and that reason only, Sam was glad he was alive, otherwise he had a horrible feeling Dean would've done something even more crazy than he had.
Besides, at the moment he was too tired to continue thinking over it. That could be left until tomorrow. His back hurt, too. Clearly, the demon had only healed him enough to live and function, and he suspected there was still some internal damage that would take a while to heal. He cursed the demon in his head; surely, in payment for Dean's soul, it was only right that Sam was fully healed. But, apparently not. The pain wasn't quite the burning, white-hot sensation of the knife actually stabbing him, but it was still very uncomfortable.
As he shifted around in the passenger seat he noticed that they were swerving quite a lot. Panicking, he looked over at Dean to see that his eyes appeared to be focussed on the road, but they were glassy. Sweat was making the blood from the cut on his forehead drip down his nose and the hands that clenched the wheel were shaking. His skin looked as pale as a corpse, which Sam found rather ironic; wasn't he the one meant to be a zombie?
Sam had died and been brought back to life, but Dean…well, he couldn't even imagine what his brother had been through over the last few days. The emotional trauma of seeing Sam vanish, looking for him, finding out that the roadhouse had been burned to the ground, then finding Sam again only to watch him die. And then everything that had happened since, including taking a physical beating by the Yellow-Eyed jerk. It was a wonder they hadn't come off the road already; as he had many times before, Sam couldn't help but both admire and be annoyed by his brother's stubbornness.
"Dean?" Sam asked, not wanting to startle him.
"I'm fine, Sammy." Dean said immediately, not looking away from the road, but still not driving particularly straight. His voice made it sound like he knew why Sam was asking and just didn't want to hear it, but Sam wasn't going to let it slide.
"Dean, pull over and let me drive to the motel."
"I said I'm fine!" Dean's voice was more forceful now.
Sam knew that he would have to be, too. "No, Dean, you're not fine. You look like you're about to pass out. Now pull over before you do and both our lives end again right here, right now."
Maybe he shouldn't have said that, but it worked. Dean slowed the car down and parked on the side of the road, sighing deeply and leaning back against the seat.
"Sam."
"No. You don't have to say anything. You've done so much for me, all my life. Especially in the last twenty-four hours. Let me care about you for a change, alright, and right now you need to rest. Let me drive to the next town. You sleep, and then you can be mad at me later."
"I thought you were the one mad at me, which I really can't deal with at the moment." Dean's voice was dull and Sam ignored the words, neither denying nor confirming the statement. Dean opened his eyes and glared at him, but Sam was unfazed. He got out and walked over to the driver's side, opening the door.
"Are you going to get out, or am I going to have to drag you out?" Sam asked. He knew that the only way to get through to Dean was to be firm, and it was true. With another deep sigh, his brother pulled himself out of the Impala and stumbled around to the other side. And he really did stumble, looking as though his legs could barely support him.
The adrenaline of the night must have worn off severely, as it had with Sam. But for now, the growing, annoying pain in his back could wait.
Dean didn't sleep, didn't even close his eyes, which frustrated Sam, as he knew that it would only be worse by the time they were ready to check in…and Sam didn't know if he had the strength to carry Dean inside. It didn't take long for them to reach the next town; a small place Sam didn't even bother to note the name of. He stopped at the first hotel and told Dean to wait in the car while he got the room keys.
"What names you gonna give?" Dean asked and Sam felt another stab of alarm at how slurred his voice was.
"David and James Brooke." Sam said, sprouting the first names that came to his head.
"Which one am I?"
Sam couldn't help but let a small grin come to his face. "Brooke, James Brooke."
He was rewarded with a soft laugh. At least Dean still had a sense of humour.
A few minutes later, the bags had been moved into the room and Dean had vanished into the bathroom to take a shower. Sam wasn't even sure how his brother had been able to remain on his feet and kept his ears peeled for a bang in case he passed out in the shower.
He wasn't going to bother with a shower tonight. The pain in his back was getting worse and he supposed it had been numbed from adrenaline. He knew it wasn't anything life-threatening and he would make sure to hide it from Dean, but he did gently massage the area until the bathroom door opened, trying to alleviate some of the tension.
Sadly, he wasn't quick enough.
"Sam, what's wrong?"
He should've known that Dean, barely conscious or not, would be watching him like a hawk. He would be doing the same if their positions were reversed. In fact, he had been doing the same.
"Nothing." Sam lied. "Come on, lie down and get some rest. You look like you could need it."
In truth, Dean was swaying where he stood, in the doorway of the bathroom. His skin was pale and clammy and Sam got to his feet and readied himself, just in case he collapsed.
"I know it's not nothing. Is your back hurting?"
Sam rolled his eyes to hide his reaction to the endless concern in Dean's voice. "A bit, but I'm fine. For once, just for tonight, can you not worry about me? You should be worrying about yourself."
Dean met his eyes and Sam saw a horrible, burning pain in them. So intense was the pain that Sam flinched, wanting to hide from it. This must have been the way Dean felt when he thought Sam was gone forever. No wonder he did something crazy to reverse that. The moment only lasted a second, but to Sam it felt like far longer, as he saw for the first time how Dean truly wouldn't give up his self-appointed position as Sam's keeper.
"Never."
That's when his knees gave out. Sam was at his side in an instant, lowering him gently to lean against the wall. "Damn it." Dean muttered.
"Listen to me." Sam said sternly. "Your body is shutting down on you. You need to sleep properly tonight, okay. No nightmares."
He held up a sleeping pill that he had gotten from the first aid kit in the Impala. He was prepared for Dean's protests, though.
"What if you're hurting in the night and I don't hear you? What if something happens? What if…?"
Sam cut him off. "Stop! You'll be useless to me if you can't even stand. Alright? Now, let's get you to bed, or I'll go and jump off that bridge we passed a few miles back."
"Not funny, Sammy."
But he let Sam help him to his feet and get him over to the bed. Sam watched until he was sure Dean had swallowed the pill, before getting into the other bed.
"Goodnight, Dean."
A mumbled reply met his ears, but the pill had already begun its effect. Sam lay awake for a while, feeling utterly exhausted, but unable to close his eyes. It wasn't the pain, either; he had found a position that offered some relief. No, it was that he was scared if he closed his eyes, he would see Hell and his brother in it.
He would find a way to fix this. He didn't know how, but he was going to find some way to break a demon's contract without repercussions. Heck, forget that. He would take any repercussions that came his way. The only thing he wouldn't do is have it end in his death; that wouldn't be fair to Dean. Dean had shown that he would rather die than live without Sam, so Sam couldn't repay him by having him live but die himself. He would give up his life for Dean without question, but he knew it would not be fair.
Eventually, he did fall asleep. He slept through the night, in fact, but he wasn't spared nightmares. Except, the nightmares he had kept him trapped there, unable to wake. Over and over again he saw Dean taken by a hellhound, burned alive, scorched in hell, ripped apart. His brother dying over and over again and then being reborn only to burn anew. Then he saw himself, also in hell, but perfectly at home, due to the demon blood that ran through his veins. In fact, as he watched, the other-Sam smiled evilly at him.
With a start, he finally woke, sitting bolt upright in the bed. Sun was streaming through the blinds, which was a minor relief; at least he didn't have to try and go back to sleep. But something else entered his awareness.
His back was on fire and there was no way he could hide it this time. The initial pain took his breath away, and then he managed to let out an agonised groan, hating himself for it. The bathroom door opened and Dean was at his side faster than a teleporting demon.
"Sam? Sammy, what's wrong?" his voice was so panicked, so intense. Sam wanted to alleviate his worries, but how could he, when somehow he had curled up into a foetal position and was gasping with each wave of pain.
Sam felt his shirt lifted at the back, and heard Dean curse the Crossroads Demon.
"It's bleeding. I knew I should've specified that you would come back FULLY healed. Bitch." He snapped.
"I'm sorry." Sam managed to get out, hoping that Dean would understand.
"Shut up, Sam. There's nothing to be sorry about."
Sam could do nothing but wait, wishing that the pain would go away, as it was starting to make him feel sick, while Dean fetched the first aid kit. Soon the wound on his back had been dressed and bandaged, after being coated in a salve that soothed the pain immensely. Sam closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, relieved.
Dean's voice was right by his face.
"Sam?"
Sam nodded, not trusting himself to speak until the pain-induced nausea had passed.
"Alright. Well, we're just going to take it easy for a few days, okay? I don't want you doing anything harder than walking to the bathroom and back. Not until it's healed over again, at least."
Sam nodded again, too tired to argue. That would work with his plan for Dean to do the same, anyway. He had noticed that Dean looked a lot better, which reassured him that, physically at least, nothing was wrong that a couple of days of bed rest couldn't cure.
"I know you had nightmares last night."
Damn it, Sam thought in his head.
His head was lifted and a pill was pushed into his mouth, followed by the rim of a glass. He opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow at Dean.
"I'm not the only one who needs some proper rest."
Well, he couldn't argue there. Besides, he could trust Dean not to do anything crazy while he slept, couldn't he? Surely Dean had done enough crazy recently. Comforted slightly by that thought, Sam swallowed the pill with the water. Dean was far too good to him. He would pay his brother back, no matter what it took. Sam swore that to himself lying there, in a motel in some tiny town.
Dean would live, even if Sam had to take down Satan himself to do it.
Again, I hope it came out well. Only just over 2 seasons in and I'm completely and utterly hooked on the Winchester boys :) Especially Sam, so you can all imagine how All Hell Breaks Loose part 1 hit me. I hope they're both in character. As always, reviews and favourites really help and are loved by me ^_^ Till next time!
