Equius stopped the robot's fist with his hand and turned his head back to his computer. Someone was messaging him. With a quick twist, the hand broke off. He punched it in the face; it flew back and smashed against the wall. The fight was over. The troll rubbed his partially sore knuckles and sat at his husktop to answer whoever was trying to reach him.
It was Karkat. A smile hugged Equius' face as he answered his matesprit.
CG: HEY.
CT: D - Hello
CG: WHAT'VE YOU BEEN UP TO?
CT: D - Building more robots, setting them to kill mode, and laying waste them
CG: YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THOSE THINGS TOUGHER FOR YOU.
CT: D - Yes, I suppose it is somewhat unfarrier on their end
CT: D - What about you
CG: ME? PRACTICING WITH MY SICKLE.
CG: WATCHING ROMCOMS.
CG: CODING, THEN BEING MADE FUN OF BY CAPTOR.
CT: D - Would you like me to have a chat with him
CG: I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP WITH SOLLUX MAN, SAVE THAT FOR SOME OTHER ASSWIPE WHO DESERVES IT.
CT: D - Alright
CT: D - The offer shall remain open
CG: HAVE YOU PUT ANY THOUGHT INTO THAT IDEA I HAD?
CT: D - Pardon my standoffish memory, Karkat
CT: D - What was that again
CG: SOME SORT OF DESTRENGTHENER OR SOMETHING SO YOU CAN GIVE A HUG WITHOUT BRUISING OR BREAKING MY BACK.
CT: D - Oh
CT: D - Yes I have floundered with that idea
CG: I KNOW ITS BASICALLY AGAINST YOUR WHOLE "STRENGTH" THING BUT, IT'S AN IDEA.
CG: WAIT REALLY?
CT: D - I am quite fond of my strength
CT: D - But I am also quite fond of you
CT: D - And I could also hug Nepeta
CT: D - And finally be inc100ded in one of her tea parties
CG: WELL I'M NOT SAYING YOU NEED TO GET RID OF THE STRENGTH, JUST FIND A WAY TO LIKE, HOLD IT BACK?
CG: IT'D STILL BE THERE WHEN YOU NEED IT.
CT: D - I most definitely can do that
CT: D - But I do have an equestrian
CG: PLUS, YOU COULD FIRE AN ARROW.
CT: D - Yes
CT: D - Oh god yes
CG: WHAT'S YOUR QUESTION?
CT: D - What if I am finally able to hug you without cracking your spinal column
CT: D - And you decide you like my hug
CG: THEN I WOULD KEEP HUGGING YOU?
CT: D - I could not hug you forever
CT: D - And you would not be able to hug me at just any point
CG: I KNOW.
CT: D - You are an e%uberant matesprit
CT: D - I do not want to disappoint
CG: YOU DON'T.
CT: D - What if Ampora does something to hurt your feelings
CT: D - Or Maryam or Makara
CT: D - And I am not able to hug you right away
CG: THEN I'LL WAIT.
CG: THE FACT YOU DON'T MIND... ME... MAKES YOU PROBABLY THE BEST.
CT: D - Mind what
CT: D - What is it I am supposed to pay mind to
CG: EQUIUS, YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT AND WE BOTH KNOW IT.
CG: DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT...
CT: D - Is it your insecurity about your b100d again
CG: ... Y-YEAH...
CT: D - You are an e%ceptional troll all on your own
CT: D - And my anger and aggression levels have dropped ten thousand fold since I agreed to be your partner
CT: D - Even Nepeta, though e%cellent in her meowrallegiance, could not do such a thing
CG: YEAH
CG: BUT YOU'RE ALL ANAL ABOUT THE HEMOSPECTRUM AND THE FACT YOU'RE MAKING AN EXCEPTION...
CT: D - Hush now
CT: D - If I didn't want to be your matesprit, I would not be
CG: I KNOW... DO YOU MIND IT THOUGH?
CT: D - Evidently not
CT: D - Karkat
CT: D - You are precious to me, and I couldn't ask for a better companion
CG: ... SORRY, I GUESS I'M JUST NERVOUS STILL.
CT: D - Another b100 b100d would be more statistically incompatible with me
CT: D - Also, Vriska is mean
CG: HEH.
CT: D - And Makara is incomprehensible
CG: CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT THE CLOWN OR THE SPIDER BITCH?
CT: D - I was simply giving an e%ample
CG: I KNOW.
CT: D - My apologies
CG: IT'S OKAY.
CT: D - I'll get to work on the thing
CG: AND IF ANYONE HURTS MY FEELING WE CAN JUST TALK ABOUT IT LIKE ALWAYS.
CT: D - I feel in need of a hug myself
CG: WELL, I CAN HUG YOU.
CT: D - That isn't enough
CG: I KNOW.
CT: D - Matespritship is about equality in giving and receiving
CT: D - Do I give you enough
CT: D - Am I an a%ceptable mate
CG: YES.
CT: D - Do I need to
CT: D - How would Nepeta say it
CT: D - "Up my game"
CG: EQUIUS, YOU'RE FINE.
CT: D - Don't lie to me
CT: D - If you are unhappy, I would prefer to know
CG: IN YOUR OWN WEIRD AND QUIRKY WAY, YOU'RE FINE.
CT: D - Ok
CG: JUST GET TO WORK ON THAT IDEA.
CG: AND THAT WILL LITERALLY SOLVE ANY PROBLEMS WE HAVE.
CT: D - I will
CT: D - Would you like to come over some time in the near future
CT: D - Arthour is learning some new recipes
CG: YOU KNOW I CAN'T WALK THROUGH ALTERNIA...
CT: D - I will come and get you
CG: WELL... IF YOU DO THAT THEN YEAH.
CT: D - Seriously
CG: YES.
CT: D - E%cellent
CG: I'D LOVE TO HANG OUT IN REAL LIFE RATHER THEN JUST CYBER-CHATTING.
CT: D - I only have a few more edges to smooth out and this machine you request shall be ready
CT: D - For building, that is
CG: WHEN?
CT: D - A few days at most
CT: D - And building will probably take a pedigree, more or less
CT: D - If you're willing to wait
CG: THAT'S REASONABLE.
CG: I'M WILLING TO WAIT MAN.
CT: D - Karkat
CG: YEAH?
CT: D - When we are in person
CT: D - Would osculation be out of the question
CG: USE SMALLER WORDS EQUIUS.
CT: D - A kiss
CG: A KISS WOULD BE FINE.
CT: D - Really
CG: IN FACT I'M PRETTY SURE WE COULD DO A LOT OF THINGS IF YOU MADE SURE NOT TO MOVE.
CT: D - Sitting still is one of my STRONG suits
CG: THEN WE MIGHT EVEN BE ABLE TO... GET MORE INTIMATE.
CT: D - Is...
CT: D - Is that possible
CG: OR IF YOU DON'T WANT TO THAT'S FINE.
CT: D - No
CT: D - I do
CG: THEN WELL.
CG: YEAH.
CT: D - But I never have, you understand
CG: WELL NEITHER HAVE I.
CG: SO WE'RE EVEN.
CT: D - Would I have to be bound
CG: WELL, MAYBE, DEPENDING.
CT: D - Oh god
CT: D - I need a towel
CG: IF YOU DON'T WANT TO NO.
CG: I WOULDN'T FORCE THAT ON YOU.
CT: D - The idea is making me bothered
CT: D - But not in a bad way
CT: D - E%cited, it seems
CG: OH.
CG: ... *OH*
CG: WELL IF YOU'RE INTO THAT THEN YEAH.
CG: YOU NEED TO BE BOUND.
CT: D - You should definitely wear an outfit you wouldn't mind being ripped
CT: D - Yes, good
CT: D - Tell me more
CG: I WILL.
CG: MAYBE SOMETHING IN YOUR COLOR.
CG: WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?
CT: D - Very much so
CT: D - May I have the honor of disrobing you
CG: YES.
CT: D - This is very pleasing
CG: BUT LEAVE SOMETHING OF THE COLOR.
CG: SO YOU CAN SEE IT.
CT: D - I will
CG: MAYBE THE SHIRT, OR MAYBE I CAN WEAR SOMETHING ELSE.
CT: D - Something else
CT: D - Such as what
CG: LIKE MAYBE A NECKLACE.
CG: OR.
CG: A COLLAR PERHAPS?
CT: D - That would be delightful
CG: COLLAR?
CT: D - Yes
CG: THEN YEAH.
CG: NICE BLUE COLLAR.
CT: D - We must stop
CG: WHY?
CT: D - My e%citement is becoming unbearable
CG: WELL...
CT: D - Well what
CG: IS THERE A WAY YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF IT?
CT: D - I don't know
CT: D - I fear my strength will not prove advantageous
CG: YEAH.
CG: THAT WOULDN'T BE A GOOD IDEA.
CT: D - Maybe I could program one of my robots
CG: WOULD THAT BE HARD?
CT: D - Not e%ceptionally
CG: COULD YOU DO THAT IN A FEW MINUTES?
CT: D - Yes
CT: D - You wouldn't have to wait furlong
CG: I'D BE HAPPY TO WAIT.
He had to make sure it was properly in order, but Equius worked as fast as he could. After about fifteen minutes, he returned to his computer. A robot stood by his side, shining and awaiting the command.
CT: D - I think I have dun it
CG: ARE YOU SURE?
CG: CAN YOU LIKE, TEST IT?
CT: D - Yes
CG: OKAY.
CG: JUST TELL ME WHEN.
CT: D - This is not uncomfortable for you
CG: NOT AT ALL.
CT: D - Alright, I've set him to work
CG: RIGHT.
CG: SO THAT COLLAR.
CT: D - This
CT: D - Collar
CG: HMM?
CT: D - Tell me about that collar
CG: WELL IT'LL BE YOUR SHADE OF BLUE. AND I'M THINKING OF PUTTING A LITTLE TAG WITH MY SYMBOL ON IT.
CT: D - That would be invigorating
CT: D - Would you like me to wear a collar as well
CG: YES.
CG: IN MY ACTUAL COLOR.
CG: WITH YOUR OWN SYMBOL ON IT.
CT: D - Will my hands be bound above my head
CT: D - Or around my back
CG: WELL THAT DEPENDS.
CT: D - On what e%actly
CG: IF YOU HAVE CLOTHES ON STILL, ABOVE HEAD, IF YOU'RE NAKED, BACK.
CT: D - My heart rate is increasing
CG: GOOD.
CT: D - Is this normal
CG: A BIT NORMAL, BUT IF IT'S AN ISSUE WE SHOULD STOP.
CT: D - Just the idea is so
CG: 100D?
CT: D - In a good way
CG: HEH.
CT: D - Scandalous
CG: OKAY SO THEN, IF YOU'RE DRESSED.
CG: I'LL PULL YOUR SHIRT UP.
CG: AND RUB YOUR MUSCLES.
CT: D - Oh god, yes
CG: TRACING EACH ONE WITH MY HAND, BEFORE LEANING IN AND USING MY TONGUE.
CT: D - I can feel heat p001ing in the pit of my abdomen
CG: YOU'RE CLOSE.
CG: GET A PAIL.
CG: OR IT'S GOING TO GET EVERYWHERE.
CT: D - I do not have a pail
CG: THEN USE SOME OTHER EMPTY RECEPTACLE.
CT: D - Like the robot
CG: YES.
CG: IN FACT.
CG: WHAT'S THE ROBOT DOING?
CG: TELL ME.
CT: D - He is using his hand
CG: WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO PUT YOUR MATERIAL?
CG: JUST ALL OVER HIM?
CT: D - I was thinking along the lines of
CT: D - Inside
CT: D - Is that wrong
CG: NO ACTUALLY.
CG: HOW IS IT GOING IN?
CT: D - He doesn't have a mouth
CT: D - Inside will not work
CT: D - I should stop
CG: DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER ROBOT?
CT: D - I have many
CG: ANY JUST A SHELL?
CT: D - Yes
CG: GET THAT ONE.
CG: AND JUST MAKE A HOLE.
CT: D - Alright, I have acquired just the shell
CT: D - Done
CT: D - With the hole, I meant
CG: NOW MAKE SURE IT'S BIG ENOUGH.
CT: D - Yes
CG: AND JUST RELEASE IN THERE WHEN THE TIME COMES.
CT: D - Ok
CG: I WAS LICKING YOUR MUSCLES RIGHT?
CT: D - You were talking about my muscles
CG: YES.
CT: D - And then what
CG: I'D MOVE DOWN AND LICK AT YOUR PANTS LINE.
CT: D - Oh yes
CG: AND SLOWLY PULL THEM DOWN, LEANING UP AND KISSING YOU.
CG: THEN I'D TIE DOWN YOUR LEGS.
CG: AND SIT IN YOUR LAP.
CT: D - I think I'm
CT: D - Karkat
CT: D - Will you say my name
CG: YES.
CG: EQUIUS.
CT: D - Oh god, Karkat
CG: I'D MOAN IT IN YOUR HEAR DUCT.
CT: D - I
CT: D - I...
CG: AS I GRIND DOWN ON YOUR BULGE.
CG: STILL COVERED BY THE THIN LAYER OF YOUR UNDERWEAR.
CT: D - AHH
CG: IN THE ROBOT EQUIUS.
CT: D - ...
CT: D - Is that what genetic material 100ks like
CG: YOURS.
CG: MINE IS RED.
CT: D - Would the color change if they mi%ed
CG: MAYBE.
CG: WE'LL FIND OUT.
CT: D - Yes
CT: D - I would adore to find out
CG: WANT TO KEEP GOING OR ARE YOU SPENT?
CT: D - I believe I'm spent
CG: OKAY.
CT: D - This was
CT: D - Incredible
CG: WHERE'D YOU PUT THE HOLE?
CT: D - The abdominal cavity
CG: I SUGGEST YOU THROW THAT ONE OUT.
CT: D - Noted
CG: IT'S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO CLEAN THAT SHIT.
CG: THOUGH, MAYBE MAKING MORE ADJUSTMENTS TO THE OTHER ROBOT.
CG: WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA.
CT: D - Yes, that would be ideal
CG: SUCH AS A HOLE AND PLACE TO EMPTY INTO.
CT: D - As soon as I have rested
CT: D - I will get back to the machine
CG: HEH OKAY.
CT: D - You and I must spend time together at once
CT: D - That is an order
CG: FOR ONCE I'M HAPPY TO OBEY.
CT: D - You are an e%traordinary matesprit
CT: D - And my emotional attachment to you is unmatched
CG: I FEEL* STRONGLY* FOR YOU TOO.
CG: I THINK I MIGHT NEED ONE OF THOSE ROBOTS MYSELF...
CT: D - I will build you your own robot
CT: D - To do as you please
CG: REALLY?
CT: D - Yes
CT: D - It wouldn't be difficult
CG: ... GIVE IT A TRUE TO LIFE BULGE.
CT: D - That might take a little more time
CT: D - But certainly able to be dun
CG: I DON'T MIND.
CG: MY OWN PERSONAL EQUIBOT.
CT: D - With the finest equestrian phallus this side of Alternia has seen in one thousand sweeps
CG: COULD YOU MAKE IT LOOK MORE LIKE YOUR BULGE?
CG: OR AT LEAST YOUR SIZE.
CT: D - Yes
CG: GOOD.
CT: D - I feel very lethargic now
CT: D - I suppose I will rest
CG: YEAH.
CG: I NEED TO START SHOPPING FOR A COLLAR ONLINE.
CT: D - We will commence conversation at a later time
CT: D - Yes, collars
CG: YEAH OKAY.
CT: D - Farewell
CG: HEH, PLEASANT DREAMS.
CT: D - Wait
CG: HMM?
CT: D - (heart)
CG: (heart)
CT: D - Now I will sleep
CG: OKAY.
He didn't even bother going to his recooperacoon. He yawned and stretched, deciding a nice "kitty-cat nap" at hishusktop wouldn't be a terrible idea. Before he laid down his head, he kicked his useless-and-filled-with-spunk robot away. But the other one stood idly as if nothing had happened. And as he folded his arms on his desk, he felt a warm and cozy feeling wash over him. Karkat loved him. And he loved Karkat. And within a pedigree or two, Equius would be able to show it.
...
Author note: HOW IN THE FLYING FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO PROPERLY REPRESENT A HEART AND EQUIUS' PREFIX IF FANFICTION DOT NET WON'T MOTHERFUCKING LET ME PUT LESS THAN AND GREATER THAN SIGNS.
other than that, i hope you enjoyed it
