A/N- Hey there people! I've been having this story in my head for some time now and it's bugging me and I thought that this site might be perfect for these kind of stories so here yah go fellas! This is my first story in this web but I've been writing in wattpad for quite awhile now. I hope you guys enjoy this story and have a nice day (:

By the way, I do not own CSI, but if I do, I wouldn't be here writing this. Oh, and sorry if some of my grammar's wrong or if there's any typos considering English is not the mother of my tongue… but it's my stepsister though! Thank you for reading and accepting my mistakes, I appreciate it a lot. Reviews and prompts are all welcome!

Greg Sanders had been feeling this way ever since six months ago but this time's the worst. He kept on thinking about thoughts that he couldn't believe he's even thinking about it. He felt confused, betrayed, hatred, ashamed, disappointed in himself, lost and hopeless. Just recently, he's been thinking whether or not does the team even respects him. Whether Grissom treats him like the others. Whether or not does everyone thinks he's a big baby. He had been diagnosed with depression with Dr. Whites and prescribed him on some antidepressants but it doesn't seem to work at all.

"Greg... Greg!" Grissom practically shouted in front of him. "You should pay more attention on what's going on here or you'll never make it to level 3 Greg" Grissom said sternly. Each and every member of team is now staring at him with pure disagreement in the break room.

'Great. Just great. Now everyone's disappointed at you Greg' He thought to himself as he looked down to his feet.

"Okay so Nick, you go with Greg to Nevada Desert. A murder was occurred and two victims were involved. One's a male and the other's a female. Both of them around their twenties." said Grissom.

"Got it Griss." Nick said while Greg just simply nod his head.

Grissom went to give orders to Sara, Catherine and Warrick while he and Nick just stood where they were and listened to what Grissom said.

Greg was once again lost in his own thought.

Do they really appreciate me ? Am I such a screw-up ? Maybe they thought of me like a piece of tail to them. Oh yeah, Greg, don't you forget about Demetrius James. Remember him Greg ? Yeah, you killed him. You're supposed to be in jail. You don't deserve this. You don't deserve all of this. You killed a young man who could most probably live if you hadn't hit him. But what's done is done and now you got to pay the price. Jail is the place for you Greg, you're not the good guys. You deserve to suffer. You deserve to suffer a hell lot more then what Demetrius James had came through. You Killed a Young Man! How could you do that ?!

By that time, his tears are threatening to fall. All of his thoughts are crashing down on him. Nick seemed to saw Greg dazed out again so he snapped his fingers in front of Greg.

His heart's aching. His hands are beginning to tremble and he was about to break down when he was snapped by his own thoughts and into the real world.

"Greg, you seriously gotta stop dazing off or else you'll never make it through level 3 when you always daze off during a certain gathering. You're a good man Greg but to me, I think you're not cut out for this CSI thing. You can try but you'll be back in the lab before you know it." Nick said while everyone was once again looking at him with disappointment in their eyes.

What nick said hurt him a lot. It hurts a lot to know that even his best friend doesn't have support on him.

"Uhh.. I-I need some fresh air" Greg said and with that, he went out of the break room and headed for the stairs to the rooftop.

As the wind blew, he could feel the cold yet warm breeze of the night air. It feels delightful yet bitter at the same time. All these times, Greg had been hiding his true feelings from everybody with his witty jokes and goofy grins. It seems like it's the only way to keep his true feelings safe from anyone. If they knew Greg's little secret, the whole lab would make fun of him about it. Not to mention that once the lab's full with rumors, Grissom would know what's going on and he would probably get fired because he's not cut out to be a CSI in that state because he's a witty little crybaby and everyone hates a grown-man who acts like a crybaby. Everyone's disappointed enough with him already and he definitely doesn't need to add up his little problems to them.

Greg heaved out a sigh and leaned on the wall next to the staircase on the rooftop. Just then, his tears aren't controllable anymore. They kept on flowing like a water fountain and nothing could stop it. All his memories came back with a rush. He's parents are gone now and they're gone for good and it was all because of him. He was supposed to protect them but instead, he failed. His mother told him to try and fix the car but he wasn't paying much attention on it so he just simply did it. After that, his parents used the car to do the groceries but little did he know that they are never coming back because of him. He thought that the car's good to go but he's wrong. Dead wrong and now he lost the two people he could count on. He's alone in this world and nothing's gonna stop him from having nightmares of his parents blaming him that it was his fault that they're dead. Not only that but lots of horrible memories came rushing back to him and it hurts so bad like someone's stabbing him in the chest repeatedly. If only he could go back in time and fix everything. He would give up his life in a split second if he could for his parents and Demetrius James but that's impossible. Everything's too late now and nothing's gonna go back to the way it was. All he has to do now is pay the price. Greg faced the wall in front of him and started banging his head against it. It feels so good for him, it feels like all the pain in his heart is being released. The only thing he could focus on during that moment is the physical pain which is oddly soothing for him so he kept on banging his head harder and harder on the wall. He didn't care what's going on right now, all he cares about is to make the emotional pain go away and this is just the way to do it. He kept on banging his head harder and harder by the minute and it feels like his head's about to explode but he likes the feeling so he continued. With every second it takes, he took it as an opportunity to run away from real life. Call him a wimp but that's how he is. He's sick of everything that's going on right now and this is the only thing that he can do to make the pain stop for awhile and nobody's gonna stop him from whatsoever.

Nick quickly regretted on what he said and looked at the way Greg went out. He couldn't help but to feel guilty and kept on thinking that all of this was his fault. He was too harsh on the kid and he knew it. He should've been more gentle on him. Not just that but there's this feeling in his stomach that something bad's going to happen. Nick's not sure on what it is but he's sure that it's not gonna be pretty. He quickly excused himself from his team and went to the way Greg went which is the rooftop. Nick couldn't stop thinking about what he said.

The more he's closer to the rooftop, the more louder the sound of two objects banging against each other. Greg quickened his pace and once he's on the rooftop, he couldn't believe on what he's looking.

Blood. Lots of blood. Greg's head banged so hard on the wall that blood was trickling down the wall and a good amount of blood is pooling on the floor. Greg's eyes were red and swollen and tears kept on flowing out. Greg was silently crying while squeezing his eyes shut.

Greg could make out a muffled voice saying something but he couldn't really make out the words so he resumed on what he's doing and ignored the voice, whoever that is. The voice got louder and louder and now he could slowly make out what that person's saying.

"Greg! GREG! GREG STOP IT!" It was Nick, Nick said that.

Nick quickly grabbed Greg's shoulder but Greg immediately flinched viciously from Nick's grasp and began trembling from head to toe. There's a big cut on his forehead and blood wouldn't stop gushing out of it which means that it must be bad. Greg looked really pale and a thin layer of sweat is coating his face and neck.

"GREG! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING ?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND ?"

Greg was shocked by Nick's sudden outburst, hell even Nick's shocked by his own sudden outburst. As soon as he said it, he regretted it and wished that he had thought twice before saying anything stupid.

"Greg, please don't do this to yourself. What were you thinking ?"

Just then, Greg suddenly fell flat to the floor and lost consciousness. Nick was practically panicking but was able to stop being useless and start radioing the paramedics. Nick practically shouted through his pager and threw all the informations about Greg at once. Once that was take care of, Nick immediately called Grissom to come to the rooftop with all the others.

Nick was cradling Greg's injured head in his arm and tried to wake Greg up but to no avail so instead, he just said comforting words to the unconscious young man. It wasn't long until Grissom and the others are all at the rooftop surrounding Nick and Greg. Sara and Catherine both gasped at the sight before them while Warrick was leaning on the wall getting some support standing upright.

"What happened ?" Grissom asked sternly.

"I don't know. I found him banging his head on the wall so I yanked him and then the next thing I knew, he's unconscious." Nick said not getting his eyes off Greg. The blood is starting to soak Nick's clothes from the wound on his forehead.

"Where is the damn paramedics ?!" Nick half shouted looking at the door.

After about a minute, Greg's body started to jerk violently. "Quick! take anything soft and put it under his head, he's having a seizure!" Grissom ordered sternly. Nick took off his jacket and made it into a makeshift pillow and put it under Greg's head. Slowly, foam starts to come out from the corner of his mouth. None of the CSI could do anything but watch. It broke everyone's heart to see their youngest this way. Catherine started crying softly while Sara had glassy eyes. Warrick just stood leaning on the wall with his eyes closed, he couldn't bear to watch this. Nick sat beside Greg looking at him and it hurts Nick greatly inside. Grissom is the only one who doesn't show any emotions but everyone knew well that he's feeling helpless and as awful as they all are feeling. They couldn't believe that this is happening to their youngest. Right at that very moment, the paramedics came in bursting through the door.

TBC