Disclaimer: I don't own Squall or Seifer, and I make no profit from my writings.

A/N: I read somewhere that you should write every day, if you want to improve. So that is what I shall do. I'm sorry if this is too bad to bear.

The Things Left Behind

Seifer once said to me, "I can't promise you that I will never leave. I can't give you reassuring words that erase your doubts and fears. Hell, I can't even give you the endless love that you want from me. But... I have given you what I can. I just hope that is enough."

At the time, I didn't understand what he was referring to. Now, I understand.

Earlier today I finally decided to go through the boxes I never unpacked when I got my SeeD room. At the bottom of the smallest box I found his watch. I think he left it here the night before our fight on the mountain. The same night he said those things.

Somehow, I had pushed all of my feelings deep down and managed to ignore them. The joy, when we were together. The pain, from the cuts he gave me. The loss, at his leaving. The sorrow, at his death. The death that I caused. I find a watch and everything comes back to me.

I never, ever thought I could feel more pain than when Ellone left. I'm sad to say that I was very mistaken.

And now, I sit here, contemplating taking my own life. I can't go on alone, always imagining what he'd do if he were here, what'd he say. Right now, he'd probably say "Fuck, Squall. You look like shit." and smirk at me. Everyone always found malice and hatred in that smirk. I did too, when he was "The Sorcress' Knight." I know that that wasn't him. His smirk always held a playfulness. He'd never smirk at you if he was truly angry.

But then, he'd probably see through to my thoughts right now. Then he'd be angry. He always could see straight through me, I would never have to explain things with him. Right now, I can imagine the glare he'd have, aimed at me. "Takin' your own life? What the fuck is up with that? Get the fuck up and stop your self-pity. "

And i'd listen. I'd get up and put on his forgotten watch, and wait until I can finally be with him once more. To give back all the things he left behind. But mostly just my heart.

fin