Truth is always stranger then fiction.
death is but a door...it swings both ways.
order is for the stupid true geniuses live in chaos.
death is for those with nothing better to do.
in the end the world as we know it dosen't exist.
Everyone remembers when you made a mistake, but they forget when you achieved something.
Those that say nothings inpossable never tried to slam a revolving door.
Never knock on Deaths door: ring the doorbell and run away! He really hates that!
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party!
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
When life gives you lemons, give them back and DEMAND CHOCOLATE.
When life gives you lemons, give them back and demand cash.
If at first you don't succeed, then destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.
Always forgive your enemies-nothing annoys them so much.
Evening news is where they tell you 'good evening' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
When you're right, no one remembers, when you're wrong, no one forgets.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids.
there are only 3 kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
Do not play leap frog with a unicorn.
Gravity is a myth: the Earth sucks.
It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious!
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail... but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "damn...that was fun"
333 only half evil
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Cancer cures smoking.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Don't steal. The government hates the competition.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
Love: Two vowels, two consonants, two fools.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
Pride is what we have. Pity is what others have.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
what's the speed of dark'?
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo
If you're going to do something wrong, have fun doing it.
You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP
A true friend stabs you in the front
Cry me a river, build a bridge, and jump off it.
They condemn what they do not understand
There are a few ways to silence the screams. Bullets happen to be one of the more efficent methods.
Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures.
Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and hit your brother on the upside of his head. Pass it on.
Everyone remembers when you made a mistake, but they forget when you achieved something.
