Disclaimer:I do not own anything.
A/N: This is my first WolfStar, I've been reading so many lately that I just had to join in. Please excuse any grammatical errors. I'm looking for a beta, I don't have any crazy demands, I just need someone to help me with the flow of the story and to tie up lose ends as I can over look small things. If you're interested drop me a line. Thanks and I hope you enjoy! =)
It all happened so fast.
One minute he's raising his wand, about to face off against Bellatrix and then in the blink of an eye, a stray spell struck him in the chest, propelling him backwards. Bellatrix's hateful onyx eyes widened in shock, as his body plummeted towards the sheer blue veil. She threw her hands out to him, as if to catch him, wanting his death to be at her wand.
As if feeling Sirius' panic Remus spun around, his amber eyes wild and confused. Then the realization hit him, his wand slipped from his grasp and he turned his back to the Death Eater he had been dueling to stretch his trembling arms for him. His mouth was shouting, forming his name at the impending loss, tears coursing from his beautiful eyes. As he was almost swallowed up, Harry's messy black head swung in his direction. He pushed his glasses up on his nose, the same way James used to, his green eyes uncomprehending until Sirius was gone from sight.
James.
The name popped into his head as once again, he put together the facial similarities of father and son. James…I'm sorry. I tried to keep them safe. He closed his eyes against the tears and allowed his body became weightless. The darkness was comforting; sort of. There was no real difference from having his eyes opened or closed. The silence wasn't imposing as it usually was as Grimmauld Place. What now? Was he doomed to spend eternity floating –was he technically floating? – around a dark abyss alone with his thoughts? Would there ever be a period in life when he wouldn't be locked in his mind? This is my hand in life. He thought sullenly. First, The Most Noble and Ancient house of black; then Azkaban and now this.
At least this isn't unbearable, He mused, already having found comfort in the void. There were no dementor's haunting the hallway, sapping the little sanity he had left. There were no screams from other prisoners. In fact, the stillness helped clear his mind unlocking memories he'd thought Azkaban had stolen; they all came floating back to him.
The first time he saw the Hogwarts Express he had been enamored. His parents never spoke of how beautiful the engine was, Andromeda had described it to him when she came home from her first year but her words didn't do the shining beauty justice at all. As young Sirius ran his hand over the cool metal, he knew his life would never be the same. He knew he would find everything he had ever wanted once he set foot on the train, freedom was within his grasp. He had patted the train then, and climbed aboard. He wondered aimlessly until he found a messy haired boy standing in front the compartment window waving at his parents.
James Potter.
He had always been a great friend and a better brother. Charlus and Dorea, his parents, were the parents he'd always wanted to have. They embraced their lineage without flaunting it and when he'd left home, they took him in and treated him no different than James. It wasn't hard to pretend they were a real family. He could remember the going off speech they gave him and James at the beginning of seventh year. They had called him son…
No sooner after Sirius and James introduced themselves; the door was opened and in walked Remus. Oh Remus, his sweet wolf. He was such a scraggly prawn back, then with a mop of tawny hair and shy amber eyes. Peter was right behind Remus, a tousle of blond hair, glinting blue eyes and robes that were a bit tight round the middle; the shy rotund boy could barely stutter his name out that first encounter. He had been such a shy but mischievous boy; a very trusting person and an even better friend. What happened to you, Pete?
From that moment on, the compartment had become theirs. After they left the train for the summer, they engraved their initials on the door so everyone knew it belonged to them. Sirius marveled at the genius and audacity of the pranks they pulled together. He relished the detentions they consequentially served after being caught. He remembered the classes he hated and the ones that he loved. Merlin, he'd give anything to go back to those days, to be able to see them all again and have a good laugh. He could suddenly recall the names of the people he passed in the halls every day, his classmates, the ghosts, Peeves.
He'll never see Hogwarts again; he'll never see Grimmauld Place again. (Not that he cared to see that crumbling piece of crap again…mind you, but it was the sentiment behind it.) What will happen to Harry…? Remus…what will you do without me again? His mind raced at all the questions cropping in his mind, all the unsaid things he wanted to tell the people in his life now…wanting to tell Remus he loved him one last time…he'll never get the chance to…
"Harry!" Her voice pierced the darkness.
Lily? He whipped his head around searching; he'd know that scolding voice anywhere. "Harry, come back!"
"Lily?" Sirius tried to called but nothing came out. He twisted this way and that, in his mind he felt himself twisting around yet it didn't feel like he body moved at all. "Lily!"
"Harry," Lily laughed. "Quiet down or you're going wake your father and the boys!"
"Lily!" He yelled again, the frantic need to see her, to find her again.
An energy shift fizzled in the darkness and the air started to buzz around him. A light breeze blew across his face and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He could smell fresh air, flowers and herbs, he could taste the grass, and he could feel the warmth of the sun on his back. He could faintly hear birds under the faint rustling of trees. It almost felt like he wasn't in the void anymore. Harry's joyful laughter drifted from somewhere and the light thud of his feet against their wooden floorboards grew louder.
The ground beneath his feet began to take shape and solidify; the sound of everything became sharper. With a violent tilt, the world snapped into place around him. Surprised, his eyes sprang open to be greeted by the sight of the wooden door at Godric's Hallow; he'd only seen the place twice before, but he'd recognize James' door anyway.
Sirius spun around; the sun was setting in the horizon and muggles were still milling about on the streets. He looked down at his hands, they were younger, unblemished from his self inflicted madness in prison. He raised his hands to his face then rushed to peer into a window, he was young again! He twisted this way and that, he still wore the robes he'd left Grimmauld Place in, but he looked no older than 23 and his hair was healthy again. Oh Merlin, thank you, thank you thank you! He groped himself gratefully, his hands stopping in his thick locks to firmly grip the roots; he beamed at his reflected self.
A crash resounded from inside and Lily began shouting again. He moved back in front the door, adrenal flushing his system. What was going on? Where was he? Hesitantly, he raised his hand and knocked on the door. What was he going to find? He heard Harry's feet running to the door and the heavier but undeniable gait that was Lily following after him. The door swung open, revealing a twenty-something year old Lily; her red hair swept into a sloppy bun dressed in an oversized grey sweatshirt along with comfortably worn jeans. Her face was happy and her mouth was opening as if to greet someone else but her jaw dropped and her emerald eyes bugged as her took him.
She grasped her chest and took a step back, "Sirius?" She whispered, as if too afraid to say his name aloud.
"It's me." He smiled, suddenly unsure of himself.
A myriad of emotions flashed across her face, "JAMES!" she screeched out before she pulling him in a tight bone-crushing hug. "Oh Sirius!" She breathed, squeezing him tighter, "JAMES!" she hollered again, jumping up and down, "Oh, Merlin, Sirius...it's actually you." He wasn't sure if was humanly possible for her arms to tighten around him yet it did and he hugged her just as tight, ignoring the ringing in his ear from her yell. It was Lily, and she was here and alive. He couldn't even summon the memory of the last time he held her.
"Lily! What is it?" James appeared, sleep wrinkled, glasses askew and his wand pointing wildly. His eyes looked around uncontrollably before settling on the open door. His jaw dropped and a look of awe and relief took hold of his face, before Sirius could blink twice, James' arms were crushing them all together.
"Brother!"
"Brother!" Sirius shifted an arm from around Lily to slide it around James; they were all shaking, and slowly the tears came.
"Mummy…Daddy…is everything alright?" Harry asked staring at them with wide, teary eyes. The little boy wasn't sure what was happening; he'd never seen his parents like that before usually he was the one crying.
The three adults untangled themselves and James swiftly wiped his eyes, "Everything is fine buddy." He squatted and gestured for the six year old to join them. Slowly the toddler edged closer to them, wearily eyeing Sirius. "Harry, do you remember me telling you about my brother?"
"Uncle Sirius?" He asked, shyly looking up at James before turning his wide delighted green eyes on Sirius. Sirius closed his eyes abruptly, as his heart constricted and hot tears prickled his eyes, this was how it was supposed to been. He was supposed to be Uncle Sirius.
"Yea, well mate, this is him."
Swiping at his eyes, Sirius squatted also, and gave the scruffy haired boy his best smile, "Hello Harry. It's nice to meet you."
Harry smiled shyly back, "Hi Uncle Sirius."
"How old are you?"
"I'm six. Are you old like my parents?"
"Oi! I'm not that old." James said with a pout, poking the toddler until he giggled.
"I'm actually a bit older than you dad." Sirius boasted, puffing his chest out.
They laughed at him, "Same old Sirius." Lily smiled. "Come on, let's go inside."
The two men stood from obscuring the doorway, allowing the redhead into the house. She led the way into the kitchen followed by her husband and son. Instead of following them, the young Black took his time to look around. He'd only been inside the house once but that was when James had first bought the place and it hadn't been furnished yet. Bits of Harry's toys were scattered in a corner and a mini toy broom was haphazardly thrown on the couch. They still had the couch that he'd sent them from the muggle store. Fingering it quietly, he trailed his finger along the line of the love set. The matching chair sat to the left of the hearth. A table housing the wizarding wireless and a jar of floo powder sat on the other side. The fire was raging under a mantle littered with pictures.
On the mantle were several pictures: one of the three of them, taken within the last year, another was of them after Hogwarts. They were all grinning at waving at the camera, Sirius picked that one up and looked at it closer. James had an arm around his shoulder and the other around Remus, Peter was in front of them giving thumbs up to the picture taker. I wonder if Remus and I ever got together? He ran his thumb over Remus' face before putting it back. The next picture was of Remus, he looked the age they all were, and was being embraced (rather fiercely) by two boys that looked to be Harry's age. The three of them were beaming up at him. The boys barely resembled Remus; they both looked like younger versions of his brother. Oh no, he thought back to his cousin Tonks, and her blatant infatuation with his lycanthrope friend Are these…their boys?
He turned his back on the mantle, fighting back the tears. Of course, a world where James and Lily are alive and Remus is straight. Maybe spending eternity in darkness wasn't so bad. At least then I'd have memories of Remus. His mind began to race, what exactly happened behind the veil? Did it somehow bring him to an alternate universe? Maybe he wasn't real at all. Only one way to test that theory. Crouching down to the fire; he glanced back to the kitchen entrance then stuck his hand in the flame. It burnt! He snatched his hand to his chest, satisfied that this was real. It had to be!
"Uncle Sirius! Tea's ready!" Harry yelled, pulling him from his mind.
He slowly made his way to the kitchen, trying to pull himself together. James and Harry were already sitting with a cup in front of them and another was seated across from Harry who lit up at the first sight of him, "Uncle Sirius, sit there!" He pointed to the other seat with a grin.
He beamed back to the boy and sat down. "So, do you laze around the house like a posh man instead of work, Prongs?"
The other man scoffed, "I wish. I just spend my days toiling away working for the aurors. It's not fun work, but someone has to do it."
"You're an auror!?" Suddenly, after he said it, it felt like the wrong thing to say. Lily and James paused their actions and to give him an odd look.
"You're an auror, too." James said slowly, "Well…you were until you disappeared."
"W-what do you mean I was an auror?" He stuttered, smiling vaguely, his mind conjured a picture of how he would look in those magenta robes. Oh how his mother probably hated that. A Black…an auror.
James and Lily exchanged looks, "Of course you're an auror." She said.
"You mean you've forgotten?" He looked puzzled.
"Err…" How could he remember something that never happened for him? Just how farfetched was the idea of alternate realities in this world? "I…I don't remember." He murmured, lowering his gaze from theirs.
"You mean, you don't remember doing that dodgy mission with that shady bloke from the Department of Mysteries? Ashby only told me that you went on a mission. No more, no less."
"I don't remember. H-how long have I been gone?"
"Almost six years." James said lowly, "The last time I saw you, you gave me and Lily a dance and then you were gone. Not a word in five long years." He could hear the pain in James' voice, and it made his stomach clench unpleasantly.
"But that doesn't matter now." Lily spoke up, looking between the two of them. "All that matters now is that you're back. I know the boys will be glad to have you back."
They made eye contact and exchanged soft smiles, "Speaking of the boys', how's Pete?"
"That rat's in jail!" The redhead turned back to her pot. "And good riddance!"
"What happened?" 'Could it be?' his heart thumped waiting for her to continue.
"So get this," James stared, shaking his head in disbelief, "another so called dark wizard decided he wanted to finish what Grindelwald started. He had a few followers, people like Lucius Malfoy, your cousin Bellatrix, and Peter. Lucius tried to get Severus to join but when he heard about what he wanted to do to us, he went to Dumbledore and the aurors got involved. They tried to attack us but they were already waiting for him. With Malfoy not funding the group, Voldemort lost followers and last we heard he fled to Scotland."
Sirius whooped and banged the table triumphantly, "That arse got what he deserved!"
Harry giggled, "Uncle Sirius swore."
"Yes he did Harry, and I never want to hear you repeat that." James said sternly, giving Harry his best stern fatherly look.
Harry nodded, "I promise daddy, I'll never swear."
"I'm not so sure about that little Prongs. One day, you're going to solemnly swear you're up to no good, and you'll have broken that promise." James and Sirius erupted into laughter. Lily glanced over her shoulder, her face a mask of confusion and Harry looked oddly between the two.
"A story for another day." James assured, beaming at the best friend he thought he'd lost.
"And uh…"he cleared his throat, the smile fading from his face as he thought about his werewolf. "How's Remus?"
"He's great!" Prongs nodded genuinely, "He works at a library. Typical Moony, eh? He should be coming by soon actually. It's a full tonight."
A full moon. Sirius' heart panged, at least this Remus had someone to run with. His Remus was alone. Again. Then he thought back to the picture on the mantle with Remus and the two boys. "Did he ever find someone?"
"Remus?" Lily scoffed.
"Uncle Prongs…" a soft voice whined from the doorway; a little boy, no older than Harry stood in pyjamas, a stuffed dog tucked under his arm. His shaggy black hair was mussed from having just woken up. He trudged towards the older brunet and climbed onto his lap. "Why did you leave?" He yawned rubbing his eyes. Sirius felt his heart stop, as he looked at him.
"I'm sorry Reggie. Did that wake you?"
He nodded, leaning his face on James' chest. "Plus Corvy kept stealing the blankets."
James laughed and rubbed his back. "I'm sorry Reggie."
Reggie smiled drowsily at Harry before his gaze landed on Sirius. He crinkled his nose and his eyes lit up with recognition. "Who are you?" He asked, any trace of sleep gone from his face.
"That's Uncle Sirius!" Harry shouted jubilantly.
Reggie's jaw dropped as he stared at Sirius. "The Sirius?"
Harry nodded, "The one and the only."
Sirius blanched under the young boy's impressed and awed gaze. It was like staring into Regulus' eyes after he'd do something bold and dramatic. "Ahem." He cleared his throat, squirming. "I feel like a celebrity."
"The way James and Remus talks about you, you might as well be." Lily sniggered.
James flushed, but grinned. "We're legends at Hogwarts, Padfoot. I'm just setting our boys off on the right foot."
"Uncle Prongs? Aunt Lily?" A voice whined from the hallway. Reggie's twin appeared wearing matching pyjamas with hair that could rival Harry's, rubbing his eyes. "I woke up and no one wa-" He froze in the threshold of the doorway, his eyes glued to where Sirius was sitting at the table. "Who are you?" He asked in a panic. "What's going on here?" A sheen of sweat appeared on his forehead, as he began backing away from the entrance.
"Corvus, what wrong?" Lily flew to his side, stopping him with a hand on the shoulder.
"He's-he's a bad man!" His chest was rising rapidly. "I want my daddy!" He closed his eyes as tears began to slide down his cheeks.
Lily looked back at James and then Sirius flabbergasted, "It's alright, sweetie." She picked him up and disappeared down the hall.
James, Sirius, Reggie and Harry sat in stunned silence. "Did I…did I do something?"
"No!" Reggie yelled almost instantly, his eyes laden with fear. He looked to where Lily disappeared and shook his head, "it's nothing you did."
"Reggie, is there something going on you should tell me?" James asked slowly, turning the boy to look into his eyes.
"No, Uncle James." He tucked his chin into his chest, "It's a secret twin thing but it's nothing bad."
"Then why did he act like that? He liked hearing about Sirius in the stories." Reggie closed his eyes and sucked his lips between his teeth. James sighed once the silence stretched, "Ok. As long as you promise me he's alright."
"He's great, Uncle James." He flashed him a Siriusesque grin causing James to laugh.
"Lily!" a familiar voice sing-songed from the sitting room, "Where is my favorite redhead and my nephew?"
"Uncle Remus!" Harry yelled, hopping from his chair and dashing to the sitting room.
"Daddy!" Reggie leapt from James' lap and took off after Harry. They playful shoved and pushed each other giggling madly into the living room.
Remus expelled a gust of air and his hearty laugh drifted in, "An' hello to you too, boys. Reggie, I didn't expect to see you awake."
Sirius could hear Reggie's large grin, "We have a guest!"
"Oh yes," Harry chimed in. "The magnificent legend himself." James rolled his eyes at Harry's embellishment, causing Sirius to shoot him a smug smirk.
"Boys…"his voice grew louder, "Who are you talking about?"
"…Sirius." They said in unison. Remus froze in the doorway, both boys tucked under his arms. He looked like his world had stopped, his breathing turned shallow and his mouth hung open. He didn't blink as his eyes swept over the prone form wide eyed form of Sirius at the table.
"Is something the matter?" Harry asked confused. He and Reggie looked at each other, baffled but the change in Remus was clear.
"Dad?"
He sat them down slowly, unblinkingly. He walked to Sirius, taking deep breaths the closer he got. Instinctively, Sirius stood and they embraced each other tightly. "You're alive!" He breathed, eyes closed tight.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything" He murmured, quaking. Remus. Remus. Remus. He was here and in his arms again. Warm, cleanly, wolfy Remus. He had to refrain himself from wanting to do more; his body yearned for more, but he couldn't come between Remus and his…partner.
"Daddy! What are you doing!?" Corvus exclaimed. Lily stood in the hallway, with the toddler cradled in her arms. She was giving them a sly look, while Corvus looked nauseated.
Remus pulled back, the large grin he was sporting disappeared at the sight of a flushed and upset Corvus. "Baby, what's the matter!" He rushed to grab him from Lily and cooed softly to him. Corvus wrapped his arms securely around Remus then proceeded to rub his face all over the places that smelt like Sirius. From the corner of his eye he could see James shoot Reggie a meaningful look.
"Let's have dinner, shall we? Would you mind setting the table dear?"
"Sure thing, love." James whipped out his wand and made a show of having the soup bowls dance from the cabinets; the spoons did the hula from the drawer. The flatware danced around the table while the napkins walked like Egyptians around the table. Harry and Reggie laughed, moving away from Remus' side and mimicked the dances. James conjured another chair at the table then plopped down in the head chair.
When the bowls and spoons settled down, Reggie raced across the table, sitting directly across from Sirius, his identical silver eyes boring into the older man's. Harry took the chair on his left, staring intently at Sirius also. James laughed while Sirius looked uncomfortable with all the attention. Remus sat the farthest from Sirius, with Corvus perched on his lap as the little boy threw a tantrum every time Remus would try to put him down.
"Dinner is served gentlemen." She waved her wand over the pot and the bowls filled with various portions of stew. Taking the seat next to Sirius, she and James exchanged a concerned look as everyone tucked in.
