Author's Note: This one goes out for EcoSeeker, whose support I am grateful for. I wasn't going to give you anything angsty, but what is Dead Space all about then, eh? xD Anyhow, more psychy stuff here, so enjoy!^^
Disclaimer: Apply the usual here.
In a madhouse, the last thing you expect is mercy.
When your mind breaks, when your mind is beyond repair, you are treated as if you're nothing. The mind is the queen, and the once illustrious king that is the body is forced to give in and obey her commands. That's how I see it now, with metaphors and everything, because it's true. I was broken once… but I'm not repaired yet. Nobody attempted to fix me; they just watched on as my mind degenerated and decayed.
Why? Because of Unitology.
It was and wasn't odd to see that most of the inmates were unitologists; since unitologists had been like the stock of a store, they had thought me one of their kind. Some part of me wanted to protest, but I'll admit I was insane. I still am. I still am like maybe every other soul in the station. Aside from Daina and that psycho, Stross, I haven't seen any other survivor. Not a single one. Not many, not to mention nobody can survive an outbreak like this one if you don't know the way to stop it. It isn't long after you know how to kill one of them that you find out they have killed you.
There was something that happened in the hospital that actually did help to put myself together, if only for a mere couple of seconds. There was this certain nurse –Madeleine, I think her name was- that could see beyond what Yasmin and the others saw in me. "Okay, fine, but…" That had been her answer every time Yasmin had made a comment on me or had read the report on my psych-eval. Like I said, the last thing I expected was mercy, or some sort of kindness at least.
After one of those many evaluations, Madeleine came to see me. In my trance, I didn't even hear her come inside; when I did noticed her, I saw she had actually sat down in front of me and was at my level, not like the other assholes with superiority complex because they were sane and I wasn't. She looked at me in the eye and saw me as the person I was, not just a monster. I remember her saying, "You're not like the others, are you?" It wasn't a question, but more like a statement.
I regret not saying anything, because that was the last I ever saw from her. Perhaps I've killed her already without my knowing, perhaps I haven't; perhaps she's dead from her own hand or, fortunately, perhaps she escaped. I can only hope for that to have happened; if not, perhaps I'll see her when I die.
I don't have that certainty, and I sure don't feel like dying right now, but I have that constant feeling. I know my way around and with the necromorphs, but don't they say that 'you're never careful enough'? I'm afraid all the time and I don't know why despite I should.
And Nicole… I've already seen her twice. Once, she's tried- well, I have tried to kill myself. It will happen again, I know it, and it will give me more to freak out with. Because it won't be somebody else's blood on my hands, but mine.
If that happens and I see her again, I hope she shows mercy.
I'm not guilty. I never was.
I hope she shows mercy.
A/N: A bit spoilerish in regards to the names, but you'll find out if you look out for those. Nolan Stross IS a survivor, but a fricking psycho that supposedly murdered his wife and child and was therefore interned at the hospital Isaac came to afterwards. Dunno what Stross' connection to Isaac is, but we'll find out in Dead Space 2.
Reviews are appreciated!^^
