This will have two parts. I do not know when the second half will be up, but it is just being finalised. This was actually just supposed to be Tony and Ziva bumping into one another at an airport. Alas, dear reader, it became something entirely different. Although, there is a scene at the airport.
Brown on Green
"Daddy!" The toddler ran over, stumbling slightly but regaining his balance as he wrapped his chubby arms around the man's leg. "Home!"
"Yeah, I'm home." He picked the child up and ruffled his dark curly hair. The boy had the same skin tone as his mother, along with her nose and eye shape, but he had none of his father's physical features. His eyes were green, not blue, and he had such a wide grin unlike his father's small, shy smile. And he knew the child wasn't his, not biologically, at least. He had met the boy's mother when the child was a week and a half old. Fallen head-over-heels in love with both mother and son immediately. Of course, he had been rejected by her 43 times before she finally accepted an offer of dinner, sometimes with a polite excuse about not being able to find a babysitter, and sometimes with a plain refusal. He knew her heart and child belonged to someone else, but she had never spoken of the man to him, or little Anton. "How's my big boy today?"
"We feed the duckys!" He giggled, playing with his father's tie as the man looked over at the woman at the end of the entrance hall, a sad expression on her face. It was the same expression she wore whenever the boy said 'ducky' or whenever she saw titles by Thom E. Gemcity. The same expression she wore when he had brought Anton a wooden boat toy or suggested they spend a day eating pizza and watching movies. It was always gone in milliseconds of it appearing, but he could see it there, the faintest flicker when they saw a Mustang go past. He had first seen it when they passed someone with dyed black hair and leather and chains. He had asked her why the 'Emo girl' had upset her so much, but she had just snapped and said that there was nothing wrong about being dressed differently, and for all he knew, she could have been the happiest, sweetest girl in the world. He had, over the two years that he had known her, passed it off as another one of her quirks, like the mistakes she made in speech or the way she flipped out when she was snuck up on. She smiled at him and walked over, pressing her lips softly to his.
"How was work?"
"I had an American fed come in today, ask about some guy who bought a book last week. I barely even remember selling it to the guy." Her ears had pricked up when he mentioned the American. "Persistent. Kept wanting to know every little detail about how he acted. Apparently the guy was Navy. The guy who bought the book, I mean. The guy interrogating me was definitely not Navy."
"NCIS?"
"NIC something or other, yeah, how'd you know?" He frowned at the woman across from him. He knew little to nothing about her past. She was from Israel, she spent some time in America. She had a son. Nothing more. She was always so guarded about anything personal and he had always tried to respect that, however hard he found it. It is of course difficult proposing to a woman 15 times and each time not knowing why she won't accept. He knew she kept guns. He had stumbled across one on his first week living with them. He trusted her when she said she was licenced, but not when she said there were only two of them in the house. He knew there were more, along with many stashed knives. Every room was defendable, an armoury ready for battle. He also trusted her when she said they were only for self defence, to keep her safe, although he wasn't certain what she needed to be kept safe from that needed so many weapons. Especially not in the middle of Kensington. When he had asked her how she could afford to live in such an expensive part of London, she had replied with 'I have a contact.' He didn't know what she had meant by that, but with Ziva the cryptic clues often led nowhere fast.
"Time in America." She shrugged it off. "Did he say why he was looking for the Navy guy?"
"He said he was found dead. Had the receipt to my shop in his pocket, but the ink had faded. Some lab tech had managed to get the address but not what he brought." He narrowed his eyes at her and followed her into the living room, still carrying Anton in his arms.
"Murdered?"
"He didn't say."
"No, he would not have. Not if he did not think your reaction would matter." She looked up at him and smiled, taking the child from his arms and kissing the top of his head. "Are you going to show Daddy the picture you drew today?"
"Yes! Yes!" She placed him down and he ran off.
"What are you not telling me, Ziva?"
"I do not know what you mean." She shrugged and turned away, picking up a mug and moving to take it into the kitchen.
"Ziva…" He gripped her wrist and she whipped around to glare at him, her eyes full of fire.
"Remove your hand or I will break it." The threat was quiet but deadly and he retracted his hand immediately. He had learnt early on that she didn't like to be touched without permission. Particularly her hair. She never let him touch her hair. "Sorry." She looked up at him apologetically. "I just…I knew some people from NCIS. A long time ago." She smiled and stroked his cheek. "I was just caught up in some old memories, that is all. It will not happen again."
"I wish you would just talk to me, Ziva. I love you, and you don't talk to me and it hurts."
"Daniel. Please. Stop saying you love me. I do not deserve your love, nor can I fully reciprocate it." She turned away again and this time he allowed her to go to the kitchen. It was the same thing she said every time he told her he loved her, every morning when they woke up, every night before the went to bed together, every chance possible in between. And every time she said it he knew she meant it, but he couldn't help himself. He was like a lost puppy, trailing around after her.
"Are you sure you don't want me to carry him?" He offered for the third time as they walked down the road, a common Friday morning ritual.
"He is fine." She shook her head and smiled at him, the hand that wasn't holding Anton sliding into his. She had carried heavier loads, and Anton was not a particularly big child.
"Ima, I walk." He pouted. She had already placed him down twice to let him walk on his own that morning, each time having to pick him up again after three minutes.
"Baby, we have been through this already." She kissed his cheek. "Ima cannot keep picking you up and putting you down. You have to choose." Of course, Ziva could keep picking him up and putting him down, physically she was still as fit and in shape as she was when she had left NCIS. More so, even. But the weekly routine of his continual rollercoaster of indecision was driving her insane for once.
"Walk." He pouted and tried to look stubborn, only succeeding in looking more like his father, his real father, than at that moment she could handle properly. She closed her eyes and tried to count to one hundred, being stopped at thirty-seven. "Ima."
"What?" She sighed and opened her eyes to her son.
"You're squeezing."
"Sorry, Baby. Ima is tired." She looked at her child's frightened eyes and then to Daniel's worried expression. She kissed Anton's cheek and stroked back his hair to look into his emerald green eyes and smiled softly, placing him on the path and taking hold of his hand. They walked on past a total of four houses before he started to whimper again and she picked him up, reminding her of someone else who complained about walking long distances. They walked on up until the little antique bookshop, where they stopped and Ziva kissed Daniel, leaving with the promise of coffee.
Ziva returned with the two disposable cups of coffee in one hand and Anton in the other. She watched as Daniel spoke to a customer at the checkout from across the empty street and smiled. She didn't love him, but she definitely liked him. He eased the pain of not being around Tony. He made life with Anton easier too. And he was not bad in bed, either, which made their arrangement something that her neighbour frowned upon. They had met in his bookshop when she had been looking around London for the first time since her mission there before NCIS. He had asked her out, she had said no. So he offered to walk her home, saying that he was closing up for the day anyway. She had declined. He had insisted. He had made her dinner. Italian of all things. But he had managed to make her laugh, something that hadn't happened in a while. She had taken him a cup of coffee the next day to thank him. And so every Friday she and Anton would walk to the bookshop and bring him a coffee. Her neighbour, a woman with two children and more money than sense, had asked her about the man who kept visiting, just to make sure he was safe around her children, of course, and had immediately looked down upon her for being a single mother. That was the first time she had met her neighbour, a bitter conversation outside, late at night when Ziva was waving goodbye to Daniel after another dinner. The first time he had stayed the night was, in a way, retaliation to her neighbour. It had also been out of simple loneliness. Ziva hadn't made a single friend in her time in London when she was on her mission, and in the four months she had been there with Anton, again not one – apart from him. And she missed Tony. The nine months she had been in Israel had been hard, but she had been pregnant and had no reminder of Tony but the life growing inside her. When Anton was born, everything he did reminded her of him.
She looked back up at the glass window of the shop front. The customer was still there and looking less like a customer now. Daniel liked to talk, yes, but not usually this much. Not on a Friday when there was coffee waiting. She took a step forwards and stopped dead in her tracks when the not-customer turned around. The coffee fell to the ground as a pair of emerald eyes, just like those of her son, locked onto her chocolate brown ones. She was frozen, unable to breathe as he stared at her and she stared back. He looked older, tired. He tilted his head and frowned, not believing what he was seeing. The child in her arms wailed as a car rounded the corner and slammed on the brakes, stopping only a yard short of them and knocking her out of her daze. She apologised and stepped back up the kerb, trying to calm her baby down.
He stepped out of the shop and started to walk over to her, but she was already running down the street, coffee left spilled on the road and the child still crying in her arms. He chased her round a corner and through a crowd of people, his only reference the child's crying and the backpack identical to his own. He reached the gate to a park and ground to a halt as he lost her, his eyes flickering frantically across groups of people enjoying the sun.
"Ima! Ima! Ducky!"
He spun round to the source of the voice, a child – the child she had been holding – was throwing pieces of bread into the duck-pond. The little boy turned to face the woman beside him and, as Tony drew nearer, reached up and touched his mother's cheek.
"Ima, why you cry?"
"Because I am sad, Baby." Her voice cracked and Tony's heart shattered into a thousand pieces as he sat on a park bench behind them. He felt like he was intruding but he couldn't help it. It was Ziva.
"Ima hurt?"
"Yes, Baby. Ima hurts, too."
"Why?"
"Because you are too young to understand what is going to happen and I have no way of protecting you from it."
"I a big boy, Ima. Daddy say so. He say 'Anton a big boy'." Tony's heart broke even more. She had a son. With someone else.
"Yes, Baby. You are Ima's big boy. But you are still not big enough to understand this." The child plonked himself down on her lap so Tony's view of him was obscured by Ziva.
"Ima?"
"Yes, Anton?"
"Who the man in bookswop?"
"That was your daddy."
"No. Other man." Ziva turned her head and looked straight at him again.
"His name was Daniel." She whispered, so her son couldn't hear her. But Tony could lip-read. And he was used to her riddles, he could understand them. He'd had a son, and he never knew about him. But his heart melted when the realisation finally hit him. He had a son. A little tiny child, a hybrid of him and Ziva. 'Come meet him.' She mouthed. He stood up and walked over, sitting next to them on the grass by the water. The boy shied away from the man who had been chasing him and his Ima and Tony tried not to let the pain at the movement show. "Anton, Baby, it is okay. He is Ima's friend."
"We run now Ima. He bad." The boy clambered to his feet and started tugging on her hand. "Ima! Run!" He pleaded with her.
"Tony is my friend, Anton. He will not hurt us. Come here, Baby. Tony keeps people safe." She opened her arms and he toddled into them, keeping as far away from the strange man as possible.
"Hi. I'm Tony." He smiled his 100 watt smile and waved at the little boy. When he sank further back, Tony pulled out his badge and handed it over. "That means I protect people. Just like your Ima used to."
"Ima not got one." He shook his head and inspected the gold and leather that he held in his chubby fingers.
"She used to. She used to have it to help protect people when she lived in America."
"Ima live England. London. She no live in 'Mewica!" He started crying again and Ziva let him curl up on her lap, gently rocking him back and forth.
"Have you told him about NCIS? About any of us?"
"No." She looked down, ashamed. "Daniel knows I spent time in America. That is all."
"He looks like you."
"No. No, he looks like his father. Acts like his father too." She shook her head and looked down to see he son had fallen asleep with the gentle rocking motion. "He has green eyes."
"Daniel has blue eyes."
"He also has his father's smile."
"I don't know what Daniel's smile looks like."
"Nothing like yours." She sighed and played with Anton's hand.
"Does Daniel know that he's mine?"
"He knows he is not his. We met after Anton was born."
"Oh. Daddy?"
"I do not really know how that started. He had started talking and I think the neighbour's children were playing with their father in the garden whilst we were in our garden playing and…he just said it and Daniel looked so happy and I could not…I could not correct him without telling him and I just…" She took a shaky breath to calm herself down.
"You didn't want him to know about me." He couldn't help the hurt in his voice.
"I wanted him to have a normal life. And a life with Anthony DiNozzo is far from normal." She teased gently.
"That's rich, coming from you, David." He looked down at the child in her arms. "Anton?"
"He looked so much like you, I could not think of any other name." She leant her head on his shoulder, such a familiar action.
"Will Daniel not worry where you are? You took off at quite a speed."
"Stop saying his name like that." She admonished. "He will work out that I am here soon enough. I bring Anton here every day." She smiled. "He likes the duckys."
"I like our Ducky." Tony smiled. "He misses you. They all do."
"Do you?"
"Of course I do. Ziva, I should have made you come home with me from Israel. Biggest mistake of my life was getting onto that plane alone." He placed his hand on the small of her back and pressed his lips to her temple.
"It was what I wanted."
"You regret that?"
"Sometimes. I miss Anton not knowing you. I miss him not having his actual father around."
"So, I'm not good enough?" They both turned round to stare at Daniel. "I knew you didn't love me and I accepted that, but Anton does. And I have been the only father he has ever known."
"Daniel. How long have you been there?"
"Since about 'His name is Daniel'. It really is good to know that you care." His voice was dripping with sarcasm.
"Daniel, please…" Ziva sighed. "Tony, take Anton." She lifted the child into his arms and he floundered momentarily before awkwardly managing to cradle the child gently.
"I don't want my son in the arms of some guy who just rolls up and claims to be his father."
"Daniel, not here." She had never seen him get so worked up. Yes, he had a temper, but so did she, and if they fought it was usually over quickly. But never had he lost his temper away from home. "He is not your son. He is Tony's son."
"Oh, yeah? So where was Tony when he was up all night with a temperature the other month? Who was there when he was teething? Who was there to take him to the zoo, or to feed him on the nights where you were so tired? Because the way I remember it, it was me."
"I know. But I always told you that I did not need you to. You always did it without me asking, you volunteered."
"Anton doesn't know Tony!"
"He should though. He has a right to."
"And what happens when he goes back to America?!" It was a question that had occurred to her, but she had put it to the back of her mind. She didn't want to have to think about it.
"I do not know."
"No. Because you know that he will disappear back to America as soon as he's done working here, if that's even what he's really doing and he's not just following you."
"Daniel, not now. We can talk about this at home, but people are staring."
"I don't care that people are staring. He is my son."
"Not biologically, or legally." She bit her lip.
"Er, Ziva?"
"What, Tony?" She spun round to stare at him and their son, crying. "Oh, Baby. I am sorry. Ima should not have been shouting." She picked the child up and buried her face in his hair. "We are going home, Baby. It is okay, the shouting will stop." She looked to Tony apologetically. "I am sorry, this is…"
"Hey, rule six. Sign of weakness." He held her chin and looked into her chocolate eyes sadly. "I need to go back to the hotel and give Gibbs an update, anyway."
"Can you not, uh…"
"It's fine. I won't tell them I even saw you." He leant in to kiss her cheek, noticing Daniel's scowl and thinking better of it. "I'll, uh, see you around sometime, maybe." He reached up and tousled her hair, then tousled his son's hair before nodding and walking away from the park. He kept telling himself as he walked away that it was the second biggest mistake of his life, walking away. But he was wrong, and he knew it. Leaving her in Israel was the second biggest mistake of his life. This was the biggest mistake. He wasn't just leaving Ziva, the woman he loved. He was leaving his son this time too. He took his time walking aimlessly through London, not knowing where he was going. His hotel was in the other direction, but he couldn't care. He'd just left his son. He'd done exactly what he had promised himself he would never do. He'd abandoned his child.
"You're late, DiNozzo. I expected your call two hours ago." Gibbs' face appeared on the screen of Tony's laptop.
"Boss, I was a little busy."
"Better be good, DiNozzo."
"No, Boss. Didn't get any new information."
"What about the bookshop guy?"
"Ha. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah, um, no. Nothing. Sorry, Boss." He ran a hand through his hair. He hated lying to Gibbs.
"Something you want to mention?"
"No. Just slightly jet lagged. I'm gonna go get some sleep. I'll get back on it tomorrow."
"Stay safe out there. If you need anything, even if just to talk, you know where to find me."
"You know something, Boss?"
"'Bout what?"
"London, maybe?"
"No." Gibbs frowned. "Should I?"
"No. I'll check in tomorrow." He closed the lid to the laptop and sat down on the bed. He knew that as soon as the case was over he had no more business being in England and he would have to go back home. But he couldn't. Not after discovering that he had a child. What man could? He kept picturing her chocolate eyes and his son's emerald eyes. He didn't even know how to find them again, didn't even get an address. There was always the duck pond. She had said that they went to the duck pond every day. He picked his phone up and walked back out of the hotel room, navigating his way back to the park and the duck pond.
"Do you love him? Is he the reason you won't marry me?"
"Daniel, I am not talking about this until we are inside and Anton is out of earshot." Ziva said as she unlocked the front door to their house and stepped in.
"We are inside. Now we talk!"
"Daddy! No shouting!" Anton wailed, clamping his hands over his ears. Ziva sighed and bounced him in her arms.
"Hush, hush, Baby. There is not going to be any more shouting. No more shouting." She soothed quietly, carrying him into the playroom and placing him down. "Baby, can you be a good boy and play with your toys? Ima and Daddy have to talk."
"No shouting?"
"We will try." She kissed his forehead.
"About Tony?"
"What do you mean?"
"Daddy shouting about Tony?" Ziva sighed at his innocent question.
"Something like that, Baby."
"Tony bad?"
"No. Tony is not bad. Tony is a very, very good man." She stood up and smiled at her son before walking out of the playroom and through to the kitchen where Daniel was waiting for her.
"Who is he?"
"He is an NCIS agent." She looked down, ashamed, although she did not know why.
"Yeah, I got that. Who is he to you?"
"He is…Tony." She shrugged. There was no other way to put it. He was Tony. Her best friend, the man she loved, the father of her son. Daniel was expecting something more than 'he is Tony'. "We worked together for around eight years. He was…everything to me." Her voice was quite. Never had she told anyone this. Never had she confessed her feelings for him, not out loud. "He was my best friend, my colleague, my partner. I love him."
"Love? Present tense?" He was growing ireful. She hadn't once in their time living together seen him so mad.
"Yes. I would do anything for him."
"And what makes you think he'd do anything for you?"
"He already has. He left me in Israel." Tears overspilled as she remembered their last moments together, stood on the tarmac at the airport. "And if he was given the chance he would love Anton."
"How do you propose giving him the chance though? Taking my son away from his home, from me, from his country? That doesn't seem fair."
"Has anyone told you that life is not fair, Daniel? You grew up in this area with a mother and father who both loved you. You had an expensive education and an easy life. I was the first person to say no to you. My life was not that simple. I grew up in a country where my sister was killed, my mother was killed and my father only cared for me as my uses as an assassin. Yes, Tony had a well funded upbringing, so did I, but neither of us had love. So when we find someone to love we do anything for them." She turned away after her outburst.
"Assassin?" He choked on the word.
"Yes, assassin. Federal agent. I have had many rolls working for the Israeli and American governments." This was all she needed, to give him a history lesson in government agencies and her ties to them. "You are a good man, Daniel. You have been there for me when I needed you, and you have been there for Anton. But you knew. You knew that biologically he is not your son and that there was always a chance that I would tell him who his father really is."
"You never said that."
"But deep down you knew it, I know you did." She shrugged. "I told you that I could never marry you because I have never loved you. My heart belongs to Tony and it always will."
"What if he does something to betray that?"
"It has happened before. My heart will still be his." She remembered Jeanne, remembered the heartbreak she went through with the frog case.
"So what you're saying is that everything I have done for you and your son means nothing?" He laughed humourlessly.
"That is not what I am saying. Look, I do not even know if Tony will want to get to know Anton. But if he does then I will do anything to make that possible. I want my son to know where he comes from. It is important."
"I'm your backup plan then." He shook his head and walked away.
"Where are you going? We are not done talking."
"I think we are." He stormed upstairs and grabbed a bag, stuffing clothes into it. "If I am your backup plan, I'm not gonna stick around. I'm fine with me being your second choice, but not Anton's second best."
"And how am I going to explain this to him?!"
"Tell him I've given up coping with your heartlessness!" He ran back down the stairs and out of the door.
"You are not even going to say goodbye?" She stood in the doorway. He whirled on her.
"You know, I really loved you. Just because I grew up in all the comfort that I did, doesn't mean that I don't know what it means to love unconditionally, to do anything for you. But I just can't anymore." He shrugged and walked away. She slammed her fist against the wall and sank to the floor, her back against the doorframe.
"Ima? Ima, where Daddy go?!" Anton shrieked, his face red with tears as he pointed in the direction that Daniel had just taken.
"I do not know, Baby. Ima does not know." She held her arms open for him to walk into and curled up on her lap, his cries of distress attracting attention from families all down the street. But she didn't care, because she was well aware that she may have just ruined her child's life.
"Daddy! Want Daddy!" Ziva walked Anton around his bedroom. It was painted red, the same red as Magnum's Ferrari. He had been screaming since Daniel had left. He had screamed through dinner and through bath-time. He hadn't stopped with anything she tried and at 0100 Ziva was at her wits end.
"I know you do, Baby. I know. But you cannot have Daddy." He cried harder. "How about we go to see the duckys?" This settled him down a bit and she sighed. "Right, let us go see the duckys." She walked down the stairs and placed him on the sofa whilst she retrieved his pushchair from the cupboard under the stairs and pulled her boots on. It was summer and the nights were warm enough not to worry about jackets, but she placed his blue blanket in the pushchair after strapping him in. Normally she would carry him to the park, it wasn't far away, but after trying to get him to sleep from six o'clock, she wasn't going to hold him the whole way there and the whole way back. He calmed some with the motion of the pushchair as she walked and by the time they reached the park he was just whimpering softly. Her senses heightened immediately when she saw a dark figure sat on the bench next to the pond. She instinctively reached for the knife concealed at her waist, an old habit that she wasn't prepared to stop.
Tony whipped round when he heard the soft cooing of the child and his green eyes locked on a pair of brown ones. Her face was pale in the moonlight and he wondered if he was dreaming, if he had fallen asleep on the park bench. But her confused frown convinced him otherwise. "Ziva? What's wrong?"
"I could not get Anton to sleep." She walked over.
"Daddy gone!" He started to tear up again and she unbuckled him, picking him up and holding him tightly, pressing soft kisses to his damp cheeks.
"Ziva, what happened?" Tony guided her to the bench and made her sit down.
"Daniel. He walked out."
"Ziva…I'm sorry. It's my fault, isn't it? I shouldn't have…I shouldn't have…"
"It was going to happen sooner or later. I think in the end he was only staying for Anton. He knew that I had and never would love him." She sat facing the water with their son on her lap, pressing her lips to the top of his head. "I said things which I should not have said to him. He was good to Anton. He really cared."
"You're not gonna be kicked out of your house or anything because of this are you?"
"No. No, I own the house. It was part of my father's network of safe houses across the world. I knew that England would be a good place to raise a child – it gave us a quite life. I moved the week he was born. Easy when you do not have many possessions." She explained in response to his worried tone. "Do not worry. My father left a reasonable amount of money beavered away around the world."
"Squirrel."
"Where?"
"No. He had money squirreled away. There are no beavers."
"Of course there are beavers, Tony. I have seen beavers."
"No, I mean…Squirreled, beavered, it doesn't matter. So long as you are okay?"
"I am fine."
"He didn't…hurt you or anything, physically I mean?" He started running his hands down her arms.
"Tony, I am fine. Daniel may have a temper, but he would never have laid a hand on either me or Anton." She smiled reassuringly. "What are you doing out here?"
"I didn't know how to find you again and you said you came here every day, so I thought I might come out and wait for you. I wanted to see you again." He tilted her chin towards him with two fingers and smiled. "You haven't changed a bit."
"You are wrong with that. I have changed a lot." She looked down at the child on her lap and her brow furrowed. "I am no longer a ruthless killer."
"You weren't a ruthless killer when I left you. Don't put yourself down." He nudged her shoulder with his. They sat in silence for a long time until Anton finally started to drift off, after having shifted in her arms so he had his head resting on her chest and he was facing Tony. "What happens now?"
"I do not know. When do you go back home?"
"When the job's done. Case seems like it's wrapping up, I'm just looking for a couple of witnesses. Few more days, week max." He looked up to the moon. "I can see how long I can prolong it, find an excuse about flights or something, if that's what you want of course."
"I only want what is best for Anton." She breathed slowly. She could tell him she wanted to be wherever he was, she would follow him anywhere, but if he didn't want that then he probably wouldn't be too thrilled with her confession. And if he wasn't happy with her confession then he wouldn't be wanting to stick around for Anton, if that was even what he wanted anyway.
"Right. He needs a life of stability, not just a father who pops in every so often when I can." He nodded and looked at his son, sleeping peacefully in the woman he loves' arms.
"He also needs a father who will love him. It is better to have a father whom he sees some of the time than none at all."
"I can try and arrange visits. At least two a year. It'll be hard not telling the others but I think it could be done."
"Or we…" She paused and shook her head. She loved him. Still. And she couldn't face the idea of him having moved on without her. "No. Stupid idea." The water of the pond was completely flat and acted like a mirror, reflecting the clear night sky perfectly. She'd had the crazy idea that they could move back to America, that they could be a family together. But what if he had moved on? What if he didn't harbour the same feelings as she did? She couldn't face uprooting her new life to go back and suffer seeing him with another woman.
"What?"
"Nothing. I just want him to know his father, that is all." She smiled at him.
"I want to get to know him, too. Hey, I'll wrap this case up and then how about I take you two out somewhere. The zoo maybe. Ooh, I love the zoo."
"I would like that, Tony." She leaned her head on his shoulder and watched as the sky started to lighten.
"Hey, give me your phone number and I'll call you when I'm done." He wrapped his arm around her, frowning when she didn't respond. He looked down at her to see she was fast asleep, still holding onto Anton. He carefully lifted his son out of her arms so as to make sure he did not fall if she let go of him and settled down to sit comfortable and watch the sun rise.
"Ima?"
"Yes, Baby?" She knew what was coming next. They had had the same conversation every few hours for the past three days, since they had returned home from their night at the park.
"Where Daddy?"
"Daddy is gone, Baby?"
"Bookswop?"
"I do not know, Baby."
"Look there?"
"No Baby. We are not going to look there."
"Why?"
"Because Daddy does not want to see us anymore."
"Why?" This was the part that she hated.
"Because…" How did you explain that the man he had called 'Daddy' was not really his daddy? "Baby, you remember Tony?"
"He not bad?"
"Tony is not bad, no." She smiled proudly at him. "Tony is a very special man."
"Why?" Yes, Ziva. Why is Tony a very special man?
"Because he is your father."
"Farder?"
"Daddy."
"No. Ima wrong!"
"Baby, trust me. Ima is not wrong." She sighed at the confusion and upset on his face. He was too young to understand it. But then, he would always be too young to understand it, in a way. The pain her son was feeling over this broke her heart. She hated seeing her child in so much distress. Just then the phone rang and she picked it up, smiling when she heard Tony's voice.
"Zee-Vah? That you?"
"Yes, Tony. It is me."
"Why's Anton crying? What's wrong? Do you need help?"
"No. I have just told him for the twentieth time that you are his father and he refuses to believe it. He does not like the idea that Daniel is not coming home." She smiled at his panic over his son. It was good to hear that he cared so much.
"Stubborn like his mother. That's gonna be fun as he gets older." He chuckled. "So, case is over. I've asked boss for some time to sightsee, somehow managed to convince him it was a good idea and he's given me two days till I need to leave. Am I allowed to spend those two days with my son?"
"Of course." She leant back against the kitchen counter and breathed a small sigh of relief. He really wanted to make this work.
"I'll pick you up. Give me half an hour and your address. I'll catch a cab."
"Thank you, Tony." Ziva stood at the airport, Anton in the pushchair. "Thank you, for the weekend, and thank you for wanting to get to know him. It was good seeing you."
"Good seeing you too, Sweetcheeks." He gave her a flirtatious wink. "No, seriously. It was good seeing you. Both of you." He smiled and crouched down. "Hey, Bud. I have to go back to America, but I promise that I'll visit as soon as I can. Soon as Grandpa Gibbs gives me the time off, I'll jet right over here." He ruffled his son's dark hair. He hated goodbyes. "I'll try and call, but until then be a good boy for your Ima. She loves you very much." He kissed the child's forehead and smiled. "I love you so much. And you have a great smile." He tapped Anton's nose and they shared a classic DiNozzo grin, father and son. It was a genetic inevitability, Ziva supposed. How could a child of a DiNozzo not have such a good smile? Tony backhanded a tear before it could properly fall and he stood up. "I'll call when I can, but you know Gibbs and Abby and McGee. I rarely get time away from them."
"Of course." She smiled, putting on a brave face. He tilted her chin up with a thumb and looked into her eyes before slinging his bag over his shoulder. "I think I'll miss you most of all." His narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. "What, Mr. Movie does not know the Wizard of Oz?" They both grinned.
"I'll miss both of you." He turned and started walking off.
"Tony!" He stopped and she took the two steps to join him before looking into his eyes when he turned around, searching for something. She wasn't certain what it was she was looking for, or if she found it, but she reached up and crushed her lips to his. She didn't know what possessed her to do it, but once she had started she couldn't stop, and as he joined the kiss she wrapped her arms around his neck and let the tears start to fall, letting them mingle with his on their cheeks. Their soft, gentle kiss lasted until they noticed a gathering audience. "I am sorry, I just…I could not let you go without doing that, just once…I am sorry."
"Don't be." He pressed his lips to hers quickly before pulling away. "I should have done that at the zoo." He backed away, giving a salute. "Hardest one-eighty of my life." And with that he was gone, disappearing off into the crowd.
Well, that was a lot of information for us to all process. Glad that is over. Oh, wait, no it is not. I forgot, the second act. Well, whilst you enjoy the interval, I should probably go and write act two.
I am counting upon you guys to review, because even though I have a basic outline of where I want the second half to go, I basically scrapped it all and have had to start again.
Oh, and I do know that there are no parks with duck ponds close to Kensington, apart from maybe Kensington Gardens, which has a closing time, but just work with me, okay.
For my reference: 26th NCIS fic.
