Thorin sat against the wall of his cell, the sounds of the elves and his fellow dwarves had long since fallen away and been replaced by the deep breaths of sleep. Thorin, however, was far from the comfort of unconsciousness, his mind preoccupied with Balin's disappointed words and the situation he had found himself in.
So deep in thought was Thorin that he did not hear the approaching footsteps of the elven guard until they came to a stop outside his cell door.
"Dwarf," the sudden voice startled Thorin, but not so much that his stoic composure was lost, "I have orders to escort you to the throne room to speak with the King."
"Do you now?" Thorin glared into the cold eyes of the elf, "What does the King have to say that has not already been said?"
"Quiet, dwarf, come with me and ask no more questions," the elf scowled before unlocking the cell door and swinging it open.
Thorin would have scoffed and continued to belittle the guard, but was distracted by the uneasy feeling growing in his gut, and decided it best to give in and proceed to the inevitable.
"Follow me," the elf said coldly, closing the door behind Thorin and walking off in the direction of the throne room.
With every step bringing Thorin closer to where he was sure the high elf of Mirkwood was waiting for him, Thorin's stomach sunk further and further. He did not know exactly what to expect, but he figured he had a fairly accurate guess of what was to come and he didn't feel any better for it.
Too soon, Thorin found himself in the throne room being led closer and closer to the figure seated upon the throne until he stood at the base of the ascending stairwell.
"My Lord," the guard bowed, "I have brought you the dwarf as you requested."
"Yes, thank you," Thorin refused to look up at the figure from which the smooth, cool voice sounded, "you have done well. Go now, leave us and join your brothers in the festivities."
"Sir, I hesitate to leave you alone with this dwarf," the guard spat out the last word like a foul taste in his mouth.
"Do as I have ordered," Thranduil said sternly, "I am more than capable of defending myself against one dwarf."
"Yes, my Lord," the guard bowed regretfully, before turning and exiting the room.
"I was not aware, Thranduil," Thorin muttered, "that I had left so much unsaid that you felt the need to summon me in the dead of night in order to continue our pleasant discussion."
"Some things are not fit to speak of while in the presence of others," Thranduil said calmly.
"Some things are not fit to the spoken of at all," Thorin growled, "some things never need be spoken of again."
"Do not say such things," Thranduil hissed through his teeth.
"Do not give me orders!" Thorin barked, "You have lost that right!"
"Have I also lost the right to defend myself?" Thranduil scowled.
"You need not waste your breath!" Thorin spat, "You left me and my people to die! You left my Kingdom to burn!"
"I had no choice!" Thranduil's voice rose, his calm shell breaking, "The army I had accompanying me would not have lasted the hour! I turned back so as to call for more soldiers to our aid, by the time I returned you had gone and the dragon had settled! I searched for you, I went out myself and scoured all of middle earth looking for you! I never stopped searching!"
"I did not wish to be found by the likes of a traitor such as you," Thorin scowled, seemingly unfazed by Thranduil's confession.
"You call me a traitor after-"
"After nothing!" Thorin yelled over the King.
"Nothing?" Thranduil asked, his voice dropped to a wounded whisper, "Nothing, Thorin? It meant nothing?"
"It means nothing any longer," Thorin spoke harshly, but with none of the previous volume, "you betrayed me, Thranduil, for that I cannot forgive."
"All those times… all the words… the whispered confessions spoken under the light of the moon… they mean nothing?" Thranduil whispered down to Thorin.
Thorin had avoided meeting Thranduil's eyes, but when the voice of the high elf broke, he could no longer find the strength to divert his stare, and what he saw when his dark brown eyes lifted to meet the elf's shattered his heart.
Thranduil's usually clear blue orbs were clouded by the threat of tears, the normal white turned red from the effort to keep the burning liquid at bay. His delicate, regal features were twisted in a mixture of anguish and utter heartbreak. His lower lip, usually taunt with stoicism, quivered under the weight of every emotion he was trying so hard to keep hidden away.
"Thorin," Thranduil's voice wavered dangerously as he stood from his throne, "if you truly mean what you say, I will understand and accept your decision, but," Thorin's heart gave a painful lurch as Thranduil neared him only to quite suddenly throw himself at the feet of the dwarven would-be-king, "I beg of you," Thranduil's voice shook as he spoke into the stone floor, his body quaking with suppressed sobs, "if you could find it in your heart to forgive me, if you could even begin to forgive me, then I beg of you to take back your words, Thorin Oakensheild, before they rip apart my very soul!"
"Thranduil," Thorin said with a strained voice, "do not… this act will earn you no sympathy."
"This act?" Thranduil asked, his voice shaking as he lifted his face to look into the eyes of his accuser, "you think that I would humble myself so much, that I would throw myself at your feet, that I would beg on my knees, that I would shed tears for the first time in my life outside of my chambers, for the sake of an act?"
Thorin was having to fight now to maintain his closed-off exterior, to not join the elf on the ground and comfort him, to not wipe away the tears burning down those alabaster cheeks.
"Why should I trust you?" Thorin asked, cursing the way he felt his resolve slipping.
"Because I was loyal to you," Thranduil sobbed desperately, looking up through a blur of tears, "because there was once a time that you looked upon me and would not have dreamed to leave me degraded and weeping at your feet."
"There was also a time that I never would have dreamed you would look into my eyes before turning and leaving me to die."
"I am sorry," Thranduil cried, his voice quiet and tired, "I do not know what I can do or say to make you believe me. I do not know what to do, Thorin, so if there is nothing I can do to earn your trust again, if you see no future other than you hating me for the rest of your days, please tell me. I have waited all these years, searching for you, following every rumor and whisper in the darkness trying to find you, remaining loyal to you, crying for you into the unforgiving hours of the morning; you owe me closure at the very least, some result for my sorrow… If you ever felt for me as I feel for you, I beg of you to tell me."
"You… you will be my undoing, Thranduil of Mirkwood," Thorin whispered, his resolve shattered, looking upon Thranduil with all the hurt and sorrow and longing he had kept hidden for so many years, "how is it that I cannot look into your eyes and remain angry? Stand on your feet, Thranduil, it pains me to see you humble yourself so."
Thranduil obeyed, standing on shaking legs like a new-borne doe, looking at Thorin with uncertain eyes.
"I have gone all these years, my last memory of you watching your back as you walked away from me, but, for no lack of effort, I could never find it in my heart to hate you," Thorin looked up into the eyes of the elf and knew he could not bear to maintain his careful composure, "did you really search for me, Thranduil, did you really cry for me?"
"Every day I searched for you," Thranduil answered, his face burning from tears and shame, "I spent hours every day sending men out to follow every rumor that reached my ears, and I cried for you every night I did not find you."
"One with such a face should not spend his nights alone and weeping," Thorin sighed, reaching up and wiping away the tears from those blue eyes.
"I felt no desire in my heart to spend them otherwise," Thranduil confessed, leaning into the sword-callused hand that Thorin kept rested on his cheek.
"Nor did I," Thorin said with a small smile.
"Truth?" Thranduil asked, his face brightening at the words.
"Yes," Thorin nodded, his heart lifting slightly at the change in those elven features, "several times I tried, out of spite. I brought young women, sometimes men, of every race to my room at night, but could never bring myself to do it," Thorin was surprised when a soft smile twitched on his lips, "I couldn't even rise while they lay naked before me on my bed, it was rather humiliating."
"I apologize," Thranduil blushed, "I had not realized I ruined you so."
"I believe, if you remember, it was I who ruined you," Thorin smirked, stroking Thranduil's cheek with his thumb.
"I remember," Thranduil smiled, making Thorin's heart jump up into his throat.
"Thranduil," Thorin said, looking deep into the elf's reddened eyes, "I cannot promise that I will be able to forgive you immediately, but I would be lying to myself if I said that time will not heal all."
"Thorin," Thranduil's voice once again began to shake as fresh tears welled up in his eyes.
"No more tears, Thranduil, please, my heart cannot bear it," Thorin pleaded, drawing the elf's face closer as he was able to press their foreheads together comfortingly.
"Forgive me," Thranduil sobbed suddenly, his body shaking, hot tears rolling down his cheeks and falling upon Thorin's, "I am just so… so glad… so very glad. All these years, I lived in such darkness, such horrible darkness," Thranduil was once again sobbing, his legs buckling under his weight, falling to his knees and resting his head on Thorin's strong shoulder as Thorin held him in his arms, "it was so dark… for so many years… I almost cannot believe it is truly you who stands before me," Thranduil clutched desperately at Thorin's tunic as if letting go meant the dwarf would disappear forever, "I have dreamt of this so many times, dreamt that you stood here with me and it did not matter if you were still angry or not. All that mattered was that you had come back… come back to me… but I would always wake up and find it was just a dream, that, in fact, my starlight was far away from me and I remained in the darkness."
"I am here, Thranduil," Thorin whispered, stroking the elf's long, flaxen hair, "I have returned to you, my silver elk, this you can believe."
"I have missed you, my mountain prince, oh how I have missed you," Thranduil spoke tearfully, nuzzling his face into the warm crook of the dwarf's neck, "I have missed your warmth, and your scent, and your voice, and your strength."
"I too have missed you," Thorin said softly, "I have missed holding you in my arms, and feeling your heart beating against my chest, I have missed the feel of your soft hair through my fingers, and your breath at my ear," Thorin gently guided Thranduil's face off his shoulder so as to look into the eyes of the elf, "I have gone too long without the feel of you against me, Thranduil, and I do not wish to live another moment without the warmth of your lips upon my own."
Thranduil obeyed without a word, pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss that soon grew with hunger.
"What in the name of middle earth…"
TBC...
