A/N: My friend came up with this idea, so I'm writing it. Check out her story, Death Wartz: a Harry Potter and Death Note cross-over. She wrote it quite well. I think she needs to update soon, but it is very hilarious.
Disclaimer: I will not state this every chapter... I do not own Death Note... just go ahead and try and sue me. I will eat your head.
Click! The doorknob turned easily. The detective tensed at the metallic noise the contraption made, and waited. When nothing happened, he relaxed. Sneaking inside, the tall man brushed a strand of messy black hair from his eyes; his shoulders as hunched as usual. He padded softly towards the fridge, inwardly cursing the distance he had to travel, although it was under ten feet, and opened the fridge, slamming his finger into the switch to prevent the light from flicking on. He stuffed the last small jars of strawberry jam into his pockets. Lifting a cloth bag from his side, he pulled out one large, plastic container. Placing it inside the now empty refrigerator, he dodged out of the small house. Running as fast as he possibly could, his hands in the air and slouched over even more, he bolted for the helicopter. Once inside, he breathed a sigh of relief. Mission accomplished. Now back to the compound
Beyond rolled over in bed, bringing his fingers up to his forehead to brush the bangs from his face. He slowly slipped out of a pleasant sleepy haze as he dropped his feet over the edge of the matress. He stood up, rolled up the overly-fluffy sleeping matress up and propped it up in a corner. Standing straight up, he stretched, then relaxed into a comfortable slouch. He slid the door shut behind him as he exited his bedroom. The kitchen/living room combination was fairly unkempt; your stereotypical 19-year-old jam-eating serial killer's house (however stereotypical that might be... which it very well might be!). His grey eyes, which sadly were only red as he saw them in reflections, searched the room until they landed on the fridge. He really could use some breakfast. Well, really the only thing he ate was jam. But that didn't mean he only had one kind. Oh, no. When you had jam as a favourite food, or the only food you've consumed for the past ten years, you tend to like multiple kinds. But Beyond had his favourite, of course. Strawberry jam was on the top of the jam list. The jam list was a mental list he'd created a few years ago when he was in a grocery store, trying to decide on what kind of jam to get. He had finally decided on this list, going from best to worst:
Strawberry jam.
Blueberry jam.
Raspberry jam.
Cherry jam.
Mango jam.
Blackberry jam.
Peach jam.
That was his list. He had no need to categorize any of the other jams on the shelves in stores, because he knew the stores would always have one of the kinds of jams on the list of jams. He took pride in the brilliance and uniqueness of his Jam List. He wasn't entirely sure anyone else had a Jam List quite like it. Somewhat of an expert on the art of jam, he was very confident in his deductions of his taste. Stepping forward, he opened the fridge door. Inside sat a large plastic container. But within the container wasn't a very jam-like substance. Instead, residing within the plastic container was some kind of gooey, yellow, putrid, fetid, loathsome substance.
Cheese wizz.
Well, the wizz part was true. But cheese... no, this stuff wasn't cheese. It was just pure wizz to Beyond. He turned up his nose at the jar, and then closed the fridge.
"Dammit L!" he exploded. "Why would you take the only food I eat away? Only to replace it with... with this jar-o-gunk?"
L sat emotionlessly in his chair, typing into his laptop. He was fully aware of BB's intentions, and in fact his whereabouts. He pushed aside the small curious voice in his head, telling him to check up on his "successor". There was no need; he was sure Beyond Birthday would come to him if he waited. But still...
A/N: Chapter two will be up soon. Please review!
