"The masses don't really want democracy. They don't want the work and would prefer to blame someone else when it goes wrong."

Callidus Dominus, Thoughts on Politics

Callidus Dominus looked around him. The Malphan Treasurer Funos nodded and he rose to speak. "Today, 4000 Earth years ago, came an auspicious day in the history of a planet, millions of light years away. It is the day that Augustus was deified." Those around him at the great meal, from Malpha, Virmok, and many other worlds cheered.

"Libations... to us!" cried Callidus. The people drunk down their beverages. "It is difficult that our Galaxy, and many others, is at war!" said the dictator. "The Daleks have already killed countless billions of our forces. But the Inter-Galactic Alliance will drive them back!"

The Malphan High Minister of Inter-Galactic Relations stood. "I agree! Those Daleks are a treacherous race!"

"We know. It appears your idea to make an alliance with them wasn't so good after all" smiled Callidus.

"That was over 18 of our years ago!" snarled the Minister. "And there was pressure from other Galaxies. The League of Celation is very important for our mineral agreements!"

"I believe that was a time when the Doctor proved useful to us" said Callidus. "But Mavic Chen was no great loss. I remember the last time I met him I found him far too ruthless and arrogant, an Augustus gone too far, a Caligula. And to think when I first met him I thought he had the potential to be Über-Augustus. But he is dead by his own madness. And due to the delegates being released we were able to make alliance with the Solar System against the Daleks. As those of you who read my Thoughts On Politics know, enemies bring enemies together. Like Augustus joined the supporters of his father's murderers against Marcus Antonius, then joined Antonius to punish them. Remember, when you have an enemy you must often turn to your lesser enemies."

"In my book on politics" said Dominus holding it up dramatically "I show many examples of great Empires. For example, the second Draconian Empire was one of the best run organisations in its Galaxy at its height. It was the Republican Movement that caused the collapse of the hundred. Of course, that was instigated for financial reasons. The resulting war led to a demand for weapons. Oddly enough, the quickly democratically-elected leaders of many worlds were friends of the weapons companies and media. Of course, if I may quote this book, when the masses claim they want democracy, what they usually mean is they're hungry." There were laughs and cheers.

"The problem with independence is that you have to manage your own affairs" said Quaestor Ilacox Cogidubnus Kuzbo, an inhabitant of Hovic-5, who had joined the Cult recently. Their planet had attempted independence, a vote getting this by a thin margin. Dominus had been adamant it was a bad idea but had to bow to the will of Hovic's billions of inhabitants. Kuzbo had not supported it either and had lost his position in Government. The planet had tried to institute a PHS, but didn't have enough money. They tried to take money from their trade agreements, but didn't have enough commodities. Dominus had given them some money when he brought their larger moon. "After all, our trade agreements have made us wealthy enough to afford this, and install a Health Service there" he said. Within 2 years the economy had collapsed. And the Malphans had happily accepted Hovic-5 back. The PHS had soon been instituted.

Thoughts on Politics was what Callidus Dominus called his Magnum Opus. It contained many parts outlining his ideas on politics and how to run an Empire. It was written in Latin using Malphan characters and it was intended that everybody in the Cult of Augustus should read it. It contained a translation of the Res Gestae Divi Augusti, analysis, and Dominus' Life of Augustus. It contained quotes from Yes Minister, and was largely inspired by Democracy: Tool of slavery. That had been written by Harold Lunar Dumitru-Jin, whose teacher had been daughter-in-law of a Planetary Inspector for the Varos Affair.

Dominus had been a member of an Intergalactic Criminal Organisation, the Two Stars Financial Executive, but had hoped to bring order to the Komylvun Galaxy. Across it there were many notoriously badly run systems, People's Republics, democracies which largely amounted to mob rule, and they were collapsing. Callidus Dominus had seen the chance to instigate benevolent dictatorships. But he knew that the Executive would not have the capabilities to run an Empire themselves and decided he needed to find a race that would rule, backed up by the Power of the Executive. Dominus had found the Malphans, an advanced species with an elite who believed strongly in mind over matter, the elite preferring Platonic love to physical relationships. They had a small Empire across a few systems, being technologically advanced but not having the wealth or technology to conquer further. Dominus had determined they should be the species who would rule, and with his funding the Malphans had conquered many systems. They had heavily used the ideas of Dominus, being quite tolerant towards most peoples and often keeping the elite as long as they accepted the Malphans as overall leaders. By now the Malphans were the greatest power in the Galaxy, though Dominus held little official power, preferring to be the power behind the throne.

As he talked Dominus thought back to how he had helped the Malphan Empire become the greatest in the Galaxy. How he had travelled through the Galaxy and seen many species and collapsing systems, determining the Malphans as the species to rule the Galaxy. He had controlled officials on many worlds outside the Galaxy, how he had helped defeat the Virmok Fleet and then annexed their Empire, how the Malphans joined a Galactic Council that plotted to invade Earth's Galaxy, and how that had led to the Dalek War. "We all know of the terrible costs of the Dalek War" said Dominus. "Remember Yakrit-A!" There were cries of agreement.

Dominus thought back to Yakrit-A. And as he did so his thoughts turned to the Doctor, the Time Traveller he had met many times, sometimes he had helped him, sometimes he had opposed him. Two Earth years ago he had met him in connection with Yakrit-A.