Narrator: Fame. Fortune. Fashion. Food. Today, S! Fictional Hollywood Story chronicles the ups and downs in the life of the world's most famous porcine diva: Miss Piggy.
(Dramatic music)
Narrator: Miss Piggy was born in the Bronx, New York, to Mr. and Mrs. Piggy. Her father owned a restaurant, and her mother was a French immigrant.
Mrs. Piggy: From a very early age, my daughter had quite a flair for fashion. I remember that she cried and cried when I put a plaid diaper on her.
Narrator: Despite the fact that they were not terribly rich, the Piggys developed a taste for some of the finer things in life. They indulged themselves and their daughter, which bred dangerous habits in her.
Mr. Piggy: Yeah, I ran my credit into the ground. The credit card companies still won't let me anywhere near them.
Narrator: Piggy's mother frequently consumed vast quantities of chocolate, a habit that was passed on and became a problem. Due to his absorption in the restaurant, her father was often absent. Piggy began to look for ways to fill the void she felt at home.
Rizzo: She took up acting in high school. One year, she won the lead in "The Sound of Music". She was also voted "Best Dressed" all four years in high school. Why didn't I ever get anything like that?
Narrator: A-hem. After her graduation from high school, Piggy attended Syracuse University, where she majored in fashion design and pursued acting on the side.
Fozzie: It was through acting that we all met each other. Of course, I always sort of got shoved into the background. Really! One time I took out the entire set! Wakka wakka wakka!
Narrator: It was also in college that she met Kermit the Frog, who eventually became her husband.
Gonzo: Yeah, they were always making googly eyes at each other. It was sort of sickening. Also, the wedding was nothing but a publicity stunt.
Narrator: Indeed, for Kermit and Piggy dared to go where not even humans had gone before. Thousands were present when they wed on Broadway in their musical "Manhattan Melodies". The success of the show and the publicity from the onstage wedding catapulted Miss Piggy to superstar status.
Rolf: It turned a lot of heads. No one had ever actually gotten married in a Broadway performance before, and interspecies marriage was unheard of at the time!
Narrator: Sadly, the news about Miss Piggy was not all positive. She received what was likely her greatest amount of publicity when she spent three days in jail on assault charges.
Gonzo: Well, she always had a tendency toward violent outbursts. I'm sort of surprised that the guy who made the bacon joke wasn't hospitalized.
Narrator: Eventually, the general public forgot about the episode. Once again, Miss Piggy was a superstar- singing, acting, and even starting her own clothing line. In spite of her tremendous success, she was consuming large amounts of chocolate.
Fozzie: I went over one day, and she was so sick that I called the ambulance. She had to get her stomach pumped. It was horrible.
Narrator: With the public's support, she bounced right back. Then came the divorce.
Rizzo: Kermit converted to Scientology. It put such a strain on the marriage that they just split.
Narrator: After a long legal battle, Miss Piggy won the settlement, which included their mansion in Malibu, the Porsche, and most of Kermit's money. Today, Piggy is very happy. She has become an activist and spokespig for PETA, and enjoys chocolate in moderation. Network executives have approached her about her own reality show. We love you, Piggy, and we hope that you won't have any more public humiliations.
This has been a production of S! Fictional Hollywood Story.
(Dramatic music)
Narrator: Miss Piggy was born in the Bronx, New York, to Mr. and Mrs. Piggy. Her father owned a restaurant, and her mother was a French immigrant.
Mrs. Piggy: From a very early age, my daughter had quite a flair for fashion. I remember that she cried and cried when I put a plaid diaper on her.
Narrator: Despite the fact that they were not terribly rich, the Piggys developed a taste for some of the finer things in life. They indulged themselves and their daughter, which bred dangerous habits in her.
Mr. Piggy: Yeah, I ran my credit into the ground. The credit card companies still won't let me anywhere near them.
Narrator: Piggy's mother frequently consumed vast quantities of chocolate, a habit that was passed on and became a problem. Due to his absorption in the restaurant, her father was often absent. Piggy began to look for ways to fill the void she felt at home.
Rizzo: She took up acting in high school. One year, she won the lead in "The Sound of Music". She was also voted "Best Dressed" all four years in high school. Why didn't I ever get anything like that?
Narrator: A-hem. After her graduation from high school, Piggy attended Syracuse University, where she majored in fashion design and pursued acting on the side.
Fozzie: It was through acting that we all met each other. Of course, I always sort of got shoved into the background. Really! One time I took out the entire set! Wakka wakka wakka!
Narrator: It was also in college that she met Kermit the Frog, who eventually became her husband.
Gonzo: Yeah, they were always making googly eyes at each other. It was sort of sickening. Also, the wedding was nothing but a publicity stunt.
Narrator: Indeed, for Kermit and Piggy dared to go where not even humans had gone before. Thousands were present when they wed on Broadway in their musical "Manhattan Melodies". The success of the show and the publicity from the onstage wedding catapulted Miss Piggy to superstar status.
Rolf: It turned a lot of heads. No one had ever actually gotten married in a Broadway performance before, and interspecies marriage was unheard of at the time!
Narrator: Sadly, the news about Miss Piggy was not all positive. She received what was likely her greatest amount of publicity when she spent three days in jail on assault charges.
Gonzo: Well, she always had a tendency toward violent outbursts. I'm sort of surprised that the guy who made the bacon joke wasn't hospitalized.
Narrator: Eventually, the general public forgot about the episode. Once again, Miss Piggy was a superstar- singing, acting, and even starting her own clothing line. In spite of her tremendous success, she was consuming large amounts of chocolate.
Fozzie: I went over one day, and she was so sick that I called the ambulance. She had to get her stomach pumped. It was horrible.
Narrator: With the public's support, she bounced right back. Then came the divorce.
Rizzo: Kermit converted to Scientology. It put such a strain on the marriage that they just split.
Narrator: After a long legal battle, Miss Piggy won the settlement, which included their mansion in Malibu, the Porsche, and most of Kermit's money. Today, Piggy is very happy. She has become an activist and spokespig for PETA, and enjoys chocolate in moderation. Network executives have approached her about her own reality show. We love you, Piggy, and we hope that you won't have any more public humiliations.
This has been a production of S! Fictional Hollywood Story.
