Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana!
Author's note: This is the story about how Oliver fart on a date with Pamela as mentioned by Miley in the episode Uptight ( Oliver's Alright ).
The Oken Natural Gas Disaster!
It's the year 2006 and Oliver Oken is trying to look cool while talking to a girl. The girl's name is Pamela Williamsen and she haven't had a date for three months.
"So baby, you look hot!"
"Save it, Oken! I'm not into you!"
"How could any girl say no to the Smokin' Oken?"
"Easy thing, Oken! I'm not into you! Bye!"
"What did I do wrong?" says Oliver as Pamela walks away.
"Hi, Ollie! What's up?" Oliver turn around to see his friend Miley Stewart.
"I was trying to get Pamela to go on a date with me!"
"And she turned you down right there, I guess..."
"Yeah, she did...!"
"You're always trying to be some kind of weird macho-man in front of girls! If you just slow down and show the real you girls might actually wanna date you!"
"What? I'm cool and macho!"
"No, you're not, Ollie! I'm sorry!" says Miley with her best mother-voice.
"What are ya? My mother?" says Oliver, surprised and a little angry.
"How about I help you, Oliver?"
"How?"
"Come over to my house after school and I can teach you how to make a girl's heart go all wild and crazy!"
"Okey, see ya!"
Later that day Oliver is on the way to Miley's house.
"Seems like Smokin' Oken has lost his magic..." says Oliver as he keep on walking.
When he arrive at Miley's house Miley is waiting for him.
"Hi, Ollie! Dad and Jackson are at a football-game so we have 5 hours all alone!"
"Eh, okey..."
"Let's start with lesson no. 1."
"I'm ready!"
"Pretend that we're in school and I'm this very hot girl. What do you do to get her attention?"
"This! Hi, baby! Wanna go on the date of your dreams, eh?" says Oliver with his best macho-voice.
"No, all wrong!" says Miley and hit Oliver on the head with a newspaper.
"What did I do?"
"That's no way to ask a girl out, Oken!"
Oliver is confused.
"If you wanna win a girl's heart you have to take things slow and be calm and nice, okey?" says Miley.
"Okey! Let me try again!"
"I'm a hot girl. What do you do?"
"Hi there! You look cute in that outfit!" says Oliver with his normal voice as he smiles and look Miley in the eyes.
"Not bad, Oken! And next?"
"Would you like to go out with me tonight?" says Oliver.
"Good, now you've got yourself a date with a hot girl, Oken. Where do you go on the big date?"
"I don't know!"
"Oh, come on! Take her to see a romantic movie!" says Miley.
"I don't like romantic movies!"
"Sweet niblets, you're such a boy, Oken! You can't take a girl to see some stupid action-movie on a first date! Duh!"
"Sorry..."
"When the date is over you walk her to her door and you do what?"
"Try to make out with her...?"
"Wrong again, Ollie! A small soft kiss on the cheek is what you give her. That says 'It was a nice date and you are cute', get it?"
"Okey! What do I wear?"
"Regular jeans and a clean shirt in black or white should be okey!"
4 hours and many lessons later Oliver has to go home. It's already dark outside.
"I need to go home now, Miley! Thanks for all the great help!"
"You're welcome, Ollie!"
"See ya in school tomorrow!"
"Aren't ya forgetting somethin' now, Oken?"
"What?"
"I want my goodnight-kiss, Ollie!" says Miley in a soft romantic voice.
"Why? This isn't a date!"
"I just spent 4 hours teachin' ya how to get a date! I think that's worth a kiss, Oken! And don't get in there over your big head, I'm just talking about a regular kiss! I don't want you to make out with me!"
"I can't do this!"
"How do think you can get a date if you're afraid to kiss a girl, Oliver?"
"I'm not afraid to kiss a girl, Miley! It's just that you're my friend and I'm not in love with you! Kissing you would feel weird to me!"
"It's all platonic, Ollie! Just a little thank you from you to me for the help I gave you!"
"Okey!"
Oliver walk up to Miley and kiss her on her red soft lips as the moon shine upon them from the window.
