Notes: Written by the prompt "Confessional letter that gets in the wrong hands before the intended recipient takes a read" and also by my need to post something fluffy for Christmas. I hope you enjoy it and I'd love to know what you think!

Alec had sent his last letter exactly two weeks and three days ago and to his misfortune, with each passing day he remembered each word on it more clearly than he had the day before. The lack of response only made it worse; he was jumpy and easily agitated and even his father – calm, patient Robert Lightwood – had snapped at him for not concentrating enough yesterday.

The letter itself hadn't been all that unusual. He and Jace had started sending them back and forth when Alec's family had officially moved from Idris to New York almost six months ago. Jace had requested to be transferred immediately and no one was going to oppose him - keeping parabatai apart by force was against the Law - but it was still taking a while for the procedure to be finished.

Alec missed him painfully. He'd been used to being around Jace all the time and the sudden separation was affecting him just as well as he'd expected - which was to say, not well at all.

So they'd taken to writing to each other. It was rarely anything too personal - letters weren't the most secure method of communication (even if they were definitely better than firemessages) and they tried to be as vague as possible, singing with their initials only as they shared the most insignificant information possible.

Alec wasn't usually one to change the routine - any routine, really - but he'd realised that this would be the only chance he'd get before his parabatai arrived in New York. He'd never dare to tell him some of the things he'd mentioned this time; not if Jace was there looking at him.

He'd written his letter like he had every other before it. Yes, the rest of the family was well; yes, Max was very excited for Christmas. Once he'd ran out of pleasantries to talk about, he'd wanted (needed, at this point) to say something else and that alone had given him enough grief that he had almost been tempted to give up. So he'd kept it simple. I love you. See you soon. AGL

Everyone had always told Alec that he was a man of few words, so he'd been true to himself and said only what had mattered. Even if the letter ended up in the wrong hands, the words wouldn't draw attention. They wouldn't even draw Jace's attention if he didn't want them to. It was the perfect (and, as it so happened, the only) solution to tell Jace what he'd wanted to say for so long now without actually saying it, but the lack of response was... troubling.

Well. It wouldn't trouble him for long. Jace had been assured that the transfer would be finished before Christmas, so he would arrive soon anyway. The thought wasn't as encouraging as Alec wanted it to be.

o.O.o

Jace had realised long ago that there were some days that were just determined to hate him. He could always tell early on and this time, he knew by the time he opened his eyes.

The post arrived in Idris every Tuesday in the Hall of the Angel and Jace was always the one to pick it up. He sorted through the letters directed at the Wayland residence on his way back home and took for himself anything that came from New York. Isabelle rarely wrote to him, relying on her brother to say everything that needed to be said, so the letters were usually from Alec and Jace awaited each one eagerly. He wanted to hear more about what life was like in New York before he moved there and he got more and more information every week, the letters building the image of the Institute there in front of his eyes. He'd lived his entire life in Idris - and so had the Lightwoods, up to this point - and the idea of the sudden change made him both reluctant and impatient to see it for himself. Impatience usually won, in the end, and Jace had slowly started packing his things for the moment when the transfer process would finally be finished and a portal would be opened for him - in a week's time, as he'd been told.

But today was different. Without even getting up, Jace could tell that his schedule for the day wouldn't go as planned. The sun was far too high up in the sky, he'd clearly overslept and he was already sure that someone had taken over his usual duties.

Jace winced. His father didn't disapprove of Alec per se, but he didn't necessarily approve of him either. A long time ago, he and Robert had been almost as close - they had also been parabatai - but things had changed at some point. Every meeting resulted in tense silence and neither of them had been too overjoyed when Jace and Alec had become friends and even less so when they'd decided to become parabatai, so Jace did his best to keep his father's mind off of that. The Lightwoods moving to New York and Jace's resolve to follow them had only caused additional strain - as far as Michael Wayland was concerned, Idris was a safe, peaceful place where Jace could pursue a higher position in the Clave and the work in New York was far more difficult and far less rewarding. He was probably right, but that hadn't been enough to sway Jace and he wouldn't let it do so now.

Still, nothing had worked in his favour today. Jace groaned as he sat up and ran a hand through his hair, trying to fashion it into something at least half acceptable. Then he started looking for clothes.

There was no point in trying to delay the inevitable, Jace supposed, and soon enough he found himself in the drawing room where his father preferred to drink his morning coffee.

"Jonathan," he acknowledged, looking up from the several packages in front of him. "Good morning. I see the servant didn't wake you up. She left breakfast for you before she left."

Jace was starving, but he lingered by his father's side. "Is there anything for me?" he ventured. There had been no word from Alec the week before and the silence was more than puzzling – Jace was going to arrive in New York in less than a fortnight and for him to decide to be quiet now was unusual to say the least.

"I don't think so." Even as his father spoke, Jace spotted Alec's unruly scrawl on one of the envelopes. Of course, it wasn't addressed directly at him – they never were – but on a usual Tuesday that wouldn't have mattered. Now Jace itched to take it and see what on Earth had taken so long, but knew better than to just reach for it. He didn't like keeping secrets from his father, but he didn't like having his privacy invaded either. He wouldn't have protested if it was just about anything else – additional details about his transfer, for example, as his father probably thought it was – but whatever was in this letter was addressed to him. His father meant well, but he also had no concept of personal space and Jace dreaded to think what he would find in a letter that had taken Alec so long.

"I can look through them if you want me to," Jace offered and his father finally looked up from the table to give him a bemused glance.

"I thought you said you would be too busy packing."

"I am." Jace had given that excuse for just about anything his father had wanted from him in the past few days. He should have seen it coming, really; tricks that spared him from tagging along with his father on Clave meetings rarely paid off, even if they won him extra time in the training halls in Idris.

Jace threw one last look at the letter but didn't insist. For now, it was clear that he was dismissed and he left the drawing room in search for his breakfast.

o.O.o

Jace's thoughts kept straying to the events from the morning thorough the day, no matter what he tried to occupy himself with. His father was a respected member of the Clave and it was natural for him to receive plenty of mail, so Jace was sure that he would take his time with it. If he'd just asked, he'd have got his letter without a lot of fuss, but even Jace was tactful enough to realise that the moment wasn't the best one. He was going to leave Idris just before the holidays to go leave with a family his father didn't really approve of and he knew that he would feel just a little guilty even mentioning that. It wasn't that he regretted his decision; in fact, he'd tried to convince Michael to come with him, but he'd been adamant. Sometimes Jace wanted to ask what had happened with Robert that had created the gap between them, but he digging in old wounds was the last thing he wanted to just now.

He'd have to resort to something else, then.

Jace was as familiar with his father's schedule as he could get; after all, they were the only occupants of the old manor. He took his chance in the early evening when he was sure that he would be alone in the house and was relieved to find the letter he'd been waiting for still unopened on the table. Chances were his father had left it there on purpose - nothing went past him, not really, and if he had noticed Jace's attempts to be subtle, he'd clearly decided to humour him. Jace snatched the envelope and retreated to his bedroom.

Jace, the letter started and Jace smiled to himself. Alec and Isabelle were the only ones who called him that and the confirmation that it really was addressed to him brought on an unexpected warmth. He missed Alec more than anything - it was why he'd decided to move to New York as well - but he hadn't realised he'd missed him enough that two weeks with no word from him would make him uneasy. Thank you for the stele, mine was starting to wear off. As I wrote you before, the Institute isn't as well-equipped as we could have hoped, but it is getting better. You're going to like it here, I think. There's plenty to do, and we get to go on missions almost every day.

This was what his father was worried about, Jace thought, even if Jace himself could barely wait a week more to experience it. There were no demons in Alicante. In New York, they were part of the day-to-day life. He read through the rest of the letter – most of it consisted of more descriptions of the Institute and what Jace would find once he got there – and the additional notes about the rest of the family made his smile all the wider. He'd missed them all, even if they were noisy and hectic and he knew that living with them would mean he'd likely never get a moment of rest again. He didn't mind; he'd had enough peace and quiet to last him a lifetime.

Alec had mentioned that there wouldn't be enough time to write to him again before he came so Jace carefully filed away every word, no matter how insignificant it seemed, until he got to Alec's signature.

I love you. Jace knew that it was just a figment of his imagination, but the words still seemed bolder, more imposing when compared to the rest of the letter. They weren't supposed to draw attention, he could tell; Alec had drowned them out in the rest of his letter as if he'd purposefully tried to make Jace skim over them. He hadn't, though, and he found himself unable to look away now.

It could mean nothing. They were parabatai; loving each other was a given. Alec hadn't seen him in six months. Maybe he'd missed Jace as much as Jace had missed him; maybe he'd written them in an unexpected burst of emotion.

But Jace knew him too well for that. Unexpected bursts of emotion weren't frequent when it came to Alec and if he'd regretted writing what he had, he'd have started the letter anew. But he hadn't. He'd taken two weeks to write him back and this was what he'd send him and that left Jace with only one option.

He must have meant it.

Jace had never wanted anything more than to he wanted to start writing a response there and then, but he held back. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say – or what he wanted to say, for that matter – and it wasn't just that. If Alec's letter, innocent as it was, had been in danger of being caught midway, risking anything more than that was unthinkable. And yet, after looking at Alec's signature for a few more seconds, Jace found a piece of paper of his own and started writing.

o.O.o

When planning his transfer from Idris to New York, Jace hadn't considered the time difference. It appeared that no one else had, either, and he found himself in a corridor in an Institute he'd never visited before in the middle of the night. It was deadly quiet save for two voices he could hear faintly in the distance and Jace picked up his luggage with a sigh, ready to follow anyone who could show him the way to his new room.

There was something familiar about them, he realised as he came closer to a place where several corridors met in a larger hall. As soon as he started making out the words, he recognised them.

"This is not a Christmas tree, Isabelle, it's a pine tree, and I don't want the rest of the Institute to wake up to this."

"It wasn't my fault!" Isabelle said in a tone that suggested that whatever had happened was definitely her fault and she was rather proud of that. "Meliorn must have got it wrong."

"Because you told him to." Jace quickened his pace. He still couldn't see them, but he could hear Alec's sigh as he inevitably relented. "We can ask Mother about it tomorrow. It's late; we should sleep."

There was a moment of silence and then a door closing just as Jace turned the corner and walked into Alec almost immediately, almost dropping his suitcase just before Alec's hands reached out to steady him on instinct.

"Jace?" Even after half a year of separation, Jace could recognise the unease in his voice; the tension somewhat hidden by his surprise. "I thought you wouldn't be here until tomorrow."

"I think it's tomorrow already." By Jace's calculations, it had to be about one in the morning which could explain how deserted the Institute was.

"You just missed Isabelle," Alec said, stepping away just a fraction. Jace took him in; there was no sight of his usual dishevelled appearance and the fact that someone had forced him into a three piece suit spoke of important guests that had probably visited earlier. "I left her a note saying that we needed a Christmas tree that was a metre and a half and somehow she interpreted that as fifteen metres so if you would like to see-"

The rest of Alec's sentence was lost as Jace pulled him down by the lapels of his waistcoat and kissed him, rushed and brief and yet more sincere than anything he could have said in greeting.

When he stepped back, Alec's eyes were wide and not quite focused but he was smiling ever so slightly and for now, that was all that mattered. They couldn't say anything too compromising; not in the middle of the hallway, so Jace reached for his parabatai's hand and tangled their fingers together. "You can show me that tree now," he quipped and this time, Alec's smile was radiant enough for Jace to feel more clearly than ever just how much he'd missed him in the last six months. He wasn't looking at him anymore, but Jace could feel the hurricane of feelings inside of him pouring in through their bond and he realised he'd missed this too; the way he could almost read Alec's mind when they were this close.

"I will." Alec didn't let go of Jace's hand as he turned to the doors in front of them, pushing them open, but he chanced one more look behind his shoulder; the warmth in his eyes almost overwhelming in its intensity. "Welcome home, Jace."