Hey everyone…this is my second fic. (Yay for me!) I decided that I would be doing something different from the norm. Make every chapter a various yaoi slash pairing…. now you might say, 'Heavenly Saint what's so different about that, everybody does that right?' Nope I'm here to tell you about the tried, out played, also don't forget unoriginal ways we get these so-called straight characters together yaoi style! Now on towards 'The Way of Slash Horror'.

Inspired by Tumbleweed and his story 'Keep it Gay (or the Slash Clause)'.

Disclaima': Me no own! Sorry couldn't help it…I don't own Naruto. If I did, we as fan girls/addicts wouldn't have to come up with ways to get our fix of yaoi.

First up the 'One blanket fic' or 'Strip nakie and I'll convince you to have hot man sex with me to keep warm'. A classic if I must say so. Easiest way to get in the one you loves pant's um blanket…. yeah. Off to the story!


Sasuke looked up at the darkening sky. It's heavy clouds for told of a coming storm.

"Oi Naruto, we have to find shelter soon. It looks like it's going to be a big storm coming." He yelled over the roaring winds. "Well no shit Sasuke-teme but where are we supposed to go in the middle of nowhere?" Sasuke stopped and twisted his face in thought. 'Damn dobe's right,' he looked at their surroundings. Nothing but endless barren wasteland with a few withered trees dotting them. Snow country sucked ass…. or froze it, that much's for certain. "I see," the raven-haired boy slowly said. "I don't know what you see 'cause all I see is snow, snow, a bunny, and more snow." Sasuke decided not to answer the blonde opting for more silence on his part. "Oi Teme! What the hell are we gonna do!" It had started to snow lightly coating the boys in its powdery white. " I think there's a shack nearby we can go to." Naruto satisfied with the answer quieted and stepped aside. "Well I don't have anything better so…" Sasuke walked in the direction of the supposed shack. 'Better to just shut him up and get this mission over with. Damn Tsunade…she sent us on a damn fetch quest disguised as a mission. Bitch just likes the sake they make.' The boys trudged on in the knee-deep snow fighting the strong gale like winds. Sasuke turned around to access the other boy for he had fell behind.

"Dobe…Dobe," the boy was nowhere in sight, "Naruto! Naruto where are you!" He screamed worriedly. He retraced his steps and found the blonde nearly submerged in snow. "Naruto! Naruto wake up," Sasuke kneeled down beside the blonde and shook him. "S-Sasuke-teme? Why did we stop?" He looked up groggily wiping the snow off of himself. "You passed out usuratonkachi," Sasuke said pointedly, "Now get up we have to go." Naruto nodded standing up shakily. They walked farther while the snowstorm became almost unbearable. "S-S-Sasu-ke where are w-e," the blonde chattered noisily, rubbing his arms to keep warm. "W-We're almost there." Sasuke cursed himself for revealing he was cold as well and for lying to the blonde. 'I saw a shack a few miles away before. We should be close to it soon.' He hoped for it and either because he was an Uchiha or loved by Kami himself or both he didn't know. But…he was damn near happy when he saw it a couple of feet away. "Naruto, we're here," he spoke softly to the blonde now leaning on his shoulder. Naruto lifted his head and smiled. Sasuke could feel him shivering in his arms. He opened the door to the run down shack. It wasn't the best of places, but it would do.

"Come on Naruto," Sasuke nudged the other boy into the shack. "It's warmer in here Sasuke-teme," Naruto stated as the said boy closed the door, "All this time I thought you were just pulling my leg with that shack stuff so your pride wouldn't get hurt." He smiled when Sasuke twitched at the insult. 'Damn ungrateful prick. I should have never went back for him. But then if I didn't Tsunade would kick my ass.' Sasuke thought dejectedly. 'We should take these wet clothes off too.' He looked over to Naruto who was unsuccessfully trying to light a makeshift fire out of wet hay he found in the corner. "You dobe, move," Sasuke flew through the signs of the Katon setting the hay on fire. The shack lit up in its warm glow, showing more of its contents to the travelers. "Well now that we got the fire we have to take off these wet clothes or we're going to get sick." Sasuke started to shed his cloak when Naruto stopped him. "S-Sasuke we don't have to do…. That?" Sasuke stared at the blonde then continued to undress himself. "I don't now why you're so nervous. Not like we haven't taken baths together." Naruto sputtered when Sasuke took off his shirt. "Then get something to cover yourself up then."

"Like what," Sasuke asked now on his belt buckle. Naruto turned around looking for anything to cover the Uchiha. 'Oh thank goodness! I found a blanket,' he ran to the cloth that would save his eyes. "Here Sasuke-teme take this," he closed his eyes as he turned to give him the blanket. "Dobe you have to take yours off too," he grabbed the blonde and pulled him into an embrace. "Ha-ah Sasuke what are you-" the brunette proceeded to strip the other boy of his clothes. "Like I said before I don't want you to get sick dobe," Naruto pushed Sasuke away gently. "I-I can take off my clothes myself," he blushed harshly as he walked away from the brunette. "When you're done come over here," Sasuke motioned to where he was now sitting. "W-What but you-there's only one blanket," he blushed again. "Hurry up so we can keep each other warm." Naruto finished undressing but hesitated. 'Should I… No I'm being stupid," Naruto shook his head and sat next to his teammate. "Took you long enough, here," Sasuke opened the blanket and Naruto sat beside him. "Naruto… you have to get closer to me or we're not going to get warm," he said simply. When he took to long Sasuke pulled him close. "Oi Teme, are you ever gonna get tired of doing that?" Sasuke smirked. "No because I know you like it when I do that."

"N-No I don't Sasuke-teme! You-You hentai!" Sasuke smirk grew as Naruto rambled. "You know what dobe… you look kind of cute when you're flustered," he leaned in and kissed Naruto lightly. "Teme! Is this some kind of joke?" Naruto screamed, moving over to the other side of the shack. "Dobe come back. You're going to get sick if you keep doing that." Sasuke stretched as if nothing happened. "We need to keep warm and to do that we can have sex. Not only will it keep us warm but we can some fun with it too," The brunette finished off. "Sasuke… you're joking? Please tell me you're joking." Sasuke shrugged and patted to the floor next to him. "If you don't want to you don't have to. Unless you're chicken?" Sasuke smirked inwardly. He knew the boy wouldn't back down. "I am not chicken Sasuke-teme…" The blonde knew he was walking into Sasuke's trap. "Then show me, Dobe."

Naruto gulped. Was he serious or was he just messing with him. He sat down beside the brunette. "Well are you going to do it or not?" Sasuke smirked again. 'Got'em!' Naruto bent down to kiss him. "I'm not a chicken," he said before their lips met. Sasuke ran a hand threw Naruto's hair, tilling his head back to deepen the kiss. 'It's so soft.' Sasuke mused. Their tongues battled for dominance, neither yielding to the other. "Sasuke," Naruto sighed as they parted, slightly aroused. "You just going to do this?" Sasuke wanted to push the blonde more. He knew the other boy liked it… though he would never admit it. "Teme I haven't even gotten started yet!" The blonde fumed, pushing Sasuke back and straddling the brunette. "That's more like it Dobe," he bucked his hips causing the blonde to arch up in pleasure. "S-Sasuke, what did you…" Sasuke smirked. "It felt good so leave it alone." Sasuke started up a nice rhythm, grinding their erections together. He flipped them over so he was on top of the blonde. "S-Wah!" The Uchiha laughed at the blonde's reaction. "What's so funny Teme," he panted, pissed at the lost contact. "You're just too cute. Almost like a girl." Naruto saw red at this and wound up sitting in Sasuke's lap. "Oi Sasuke-teme! How dare you-" He was cut off abruptly by a hand on his member. "T-Teme don't-ahh. Change-mmm the-" Sasuke kissed him again relishing the blonde's taste. He stroked Naruto's now hard member, smiling brightly. "Sasuke…don't stop…please," he moaned into the brunette's shoulder, rocking his hips in time with Sasuke's strokes. "Don't plan to." He said, licking the fingers on his other hand. "Just enjoy it Naru." Naruto mumbled something but Sasuke didn't hear it as he inserted a finger into the boy's entrance. "Sa-ahh," Sasuke laid Naruto down, still bringing moans of pleasure to the blonde. "Naruto, do you want me to stop?" He looked down at the smaller boy, waiting for his answer. "N-No Teme." Sasuke added a second finger but then he stopped completely. "So you still have the balls to call me that, Dobe?" It was Naruto's turn to smirk even though his bottom felt funny. "I would think you know I do, since you're fondling them now." Sasuke's eye twitched slightly in annoyance. 'I'll show this Dobe a thing or two.' He continued with his previous ministrations before Naruto decided to ruin his chances of getting laid.

He slipped in one more finger, making sure his dobe was ready. Not that he liked to brag but the men in his family were well endowed. One of the many blessings of being an Uchiha but that was not and beside the point and has nothing to with this story…. Tehe. When he pulled out his fingers Naruto whined, pouting at the pause. 'The best part is coming….' Sasuke lifted Naruto up a little positioning himself next to the blonde's opening. "Naruto this might hurt a bit. So if-" The blonde wrapped his legs around him and pushed him in. Sasuke hissed at the warmth overtaking him. "You-were taking to long Teme," Sasuke chuckled. It was just like Naruto to rush things. Eating, training, and now sex…. 'That's why he's a Dobe,' Naruto rocked his hips into Sasuke's signaling to him that he was ready. "Are you ready?" Naruto rolled his eyes. "Teme I am-" Sasuke pulled himself out slowly then thrust himself back in, cutting of the blonde's rant. He took slow, languid strokes, taking his time. "F-Faster Sasuke," Naruto moaned, bucking his hips. Sasuke complied speeding up his pace. He snaked a hand in between them and stroked the blonde's member causing the boy to arch up in pleasure. "Sasuke! I'm gonna!" The smaller boy came abruptly in partner's hand, his muscles tightening around Sasuke's member, making him come as well. Sasuke pulled out of the blonde and rolled over beside him. "So how was that Sasuke-teme?" Naruto rolled over to face the other boy. "It could've lasted longer but I'd expect that from a Dobe," Naruto huffed and turned away from the brunette. "Damn Teme thinks he's better than me…" Sasuke shook his head then pulled Naruto into his arms. "No I know I'm better than you." He kissed Naruto's shoulder while pulling the cover over them.


Aww, well isn't that the sweetest? It took me awhile to finish but thank the heavens that this chapie is over. I hope you like it. It seems like the only thing I'm good at is writing about sex. Woe is me!

For the second chapter…. Someone's in heat and the only way to sate them it to do 'em! I don't know what pairings so I'll let you the readers decide. Next chapter "I'm in Heat" or "A really good way to have you character act like a complete and total slut!"