"Don't go," she whispered quietly.
He'd just come in to check on Carol, right after presenting her with a Cherokee Rose. In his own way he was concerned. Daryl couldn't come out and say that he was concerned, but at that point they both knew. This ordeal had taken its toll on the both of them, both physically and emotionally. At that moment they were both so worn down, so tired, so exhausted. And it wasn't just about Sophia any more. It was about the walkers, the deaths, everything. No one knew what would happen from day to day. They were all living on borrowed time- that much was a given.
"Stay," she whispered, so low that he almost turned around and walked away.
Almost.
Instead she stood up and it started with a kiss, one on his forehead. She'd done that before, but this time they both knew full well what she meant by it. It wasn't a motherly kiss, a friendly kiss, or even a compassionate one. It meant that they were about to start something, once began, there was no turning back.
He looked at her, ready to tell her to go to sleep. But there was something about the look in her eyes- a look of longing, a sense of needing to be held, that Daryl knew he couldn't push her away. Not this time. So he returned the favor, kissing her forehead before she pulled him as close to her as she could and their lips met for the first time.
Daryl's hands traced her delicate facial features, wanting to be with her, nothing more, nothing less. There was something about the moment that they knew they couldn't stop now even if they wanted to. Fortunately, neither of them wanted to stop. It had been a long, hard road for both of them. Even though they seemed to be walking the same path, or at least traveling in the same circle, they were in it together. They were in it for Sophia, to survive, to forget.
And that's exactly what was happening at that moment. They forgot about the cold, cruel world and sought comfort that only the other could provide. There was something about Carol's touch that felt so calming, so welcoming, so caring, that it almost made Daryl forget how cruel people and nature and life could be.
He took her hand in his as she traced around the outline of his face. It was an inviting gesture, to be sure, but it was also his way of letting Carol knew that he wanted-needed- this as much as she did. For a minute they could be two people instead of two survivors, and if taking this step was what had to happen to make them feel alive again, then they were both in total agreement.
For the next hour they both found something that they hadn't found in the longest time- peace. They were at peace with each other, peace with the world, and peace with one another. It started off slowly, with a sly peek at the other's face to see how far they could go, to see what boundary was safe to push, to see if it was safe to proceed. As they learned to read each other's signals, they each found something in one another they could relate to. Whether it was compassion or hurt or confusion, they could relate, and in the grand scheme of things, in what could be a potentially awkward moment, they found that it was both nothing and everything they'd pictured it would be.
Yes, they'd both pictured this moment. Carol knew, even when she was married to Ed, that there was something so mysterious, yet inviting about Daryl that she knew she had to get to know him better. Sometimes at night she'd allowed herself to wonder what this moment might feel like, but Carol'd learned never to hope for anything. Even with Sophia.
That's what she appreciated most about Daryl. He wouldn't- refused- to let her give up hope, even when she wanted, needed to. Even when there was no other obvious choice but to quit, he kept going. And in doing so, Carol found her strength and courage to go on another day.
So she wanted to thank him for everything he'd done for her. Carol knew he wouldn't accept her thanks, not verbally anyways. So she expressed her gratitude for everything he'd done for her and her family in the best way she knew how. She kissed him.
At first he was taken aback, but when he saw the seriousness, the caring in her eyes, Daryl knew it would be safe to proceed. Gradually, of course, but there was no doubt the way this moment would end. Time was short...the others could be back at any moment, so they lived for the second, making each one count.
He started to tug at her shirt, but she was so modest that she tried to pull his hand away. But after looking into his eyes she knew that it was okay to proceed. She removed the rest of her clothing, allowing him to see her for who she really was- a mother, a woman, his friend.
The way he looked at her made her shiver. Ed had looked at her all right, hungrily, greedily, but never the way Daryl was looking at her now. If she were to take the time to put a word on the feeling, it would be appreciation. Daryl definitely appreciated her for who she was, so without another word she quickly unzipped his jeans and did things that she would never dream of doing to her own husband, or any other man.
He watched. He was always watching. But seeing such a fragile looking woman do the things that Carol was doing to him almost made him finish then and there. But he was anxious, more anxious than ever to know her, to reassure her, to make her feel as good as he did with her. He was not a man of many words, so he decided to use this opportunity to express himself, the best that he knew how.
He quickly but assuredly lay her down on the fold out cot, and, looking into her eyes the entire time, entered her. There was an urgency to his movements...this could last seconds or hours, it didn't matter. They had found each other, and now that they had, neither one were willing to let the moment escape them.
She almost cried out, but she remembered their circumstances. Gently but firmly Daryl put a finger over her mouth to shush her, but after seeing her wince, he replaced his finger with his lips. He had only imagined everything she'd been through with Ed, and all he knew was that he wanted to make her forget.
He could tell by the look on her face- the closed eyes, the awkward grin, and her heavy breathing that he'd accomplished his mission. He couldn't take any chances, so he withdrew and came onto a nearby towel. No need for more little kids to keep track of, no need for crying babies. But after looking at her quickly dress, as he had, Daryl nodded his head, then turned around, making sure no one gained entrance to the RV. After making sure she was dressed he didn't say a word before making his exit. There were no need for words at that point. What was done was done, and neither of them had any regrets.
For a minute they both experienced something they hadn't felt in a long time- the sense of being alive. In the morning things would return to normal, but even Daryl couldn't contain his grin as he quickly walked away. Yes, today was a good day. They were few and far in between, but as of then, it was good to be alive.
The end
