There once was a sponge named Captain Sponge Bob, and tho 'is pants were a bit square, 'e always managed ta flip a few crabby cakes each day, enough ta pay the bills. Everybody looked down on 'im and 'e ne'er had a real friend in the world, except fer a pink starfish named Pat.
Patrick and Bobby went out on the toon one day and foond a mermaid cryin' fer her eyes had fallen oot. They saved the day when Pat found them behind a rock and Bobby stole the glory fer 'imself. arrr harr harr.
That made pat a bit mad at 'im and 'e said, "Ar, I guess you don't want to be friends anymoor, ey?"
Bobby got upset when 'e 'eard that because, as we all know, 'e didn't have a friend in the sea beyond the echinoderm. Now Bobby's idea was to make a bid fer the Mermaid's 'eart and let 'er become 'is new best friend, using her eyes as a gift, but on the other 'and, 'e didn't want to chance losin' 'is only friend.
"'ey!" said 'e, strikin' on a new course, "I tell ye what, Pat! Ye kin 'ave me girlfriend if it don't work out fer me, and I'll introduce ye to 'er meself later."
The starfish thought and thought on that one and finally agreed it was a good plan. He waved good luck, and off Bobby went to live happily ever after with the Mermaid and to fersake all 'is old friends and such.
It wasn't a sad ending, really. The starfish was better off without the sponge, and the Mermaid took Bobby home with 'er and used him to scrub the gunk out of 'er armpits each night. Then she always put him in his own little box in the top lefthand drawer of her little make-up table. She turned out to be a stinky creature, and the sponge always had enough to do to clean the bacteri off 'imself so 'e ne'er got bored.
The End!
Arrrr, now let me know 'ow ye liked it.
