Author's Note: This fanfictionwas inspired by a kid named Ihateprepsandkikyo. She took her own life not too long ago, and this morning I found an AMV dedicated to her. That spawned this little work. Written fast and without any regard to the content. Pretty much two suicide attempts of my own and hers bottled up into one little fanfiction.
Getting out of the mess isn't brave or heroic. Suicide is for cowards. It's ducking out and infantile. Face your problems, instead of taking the easy way out. Thank goodness I learned that, not that anyone cares.
Here is the AMV: h t t p // watch?vpRkTRSQmbNs&search Naruto20Lee20Sakura20Life(remove the spaces).
I did it about Rock Lee, because Rock Lee angst is the epitome of Naruto angst. Not because I don't like him. On the contrary, I love him.
Not for the weak stomached.
If you see me on my knees, it's just because I'm weak.
Because we are all fools in life, and I am the biggest fool of all.
If you should see a knife in my hand, and a pale, exposed wrist, don't try to stop me.
Because somewhere sitting on a dream, my world fell out.
Because when everything you ever loved gets ripped out from under you like a rug, you go a little crazy.When it's your fucking fault that your company got captured on a mission, you might feel the way I do.
When they kill your teacher and toss his body on top of you, when they slit every one of your friends you dragged along on this damned mission's throats, when they rape your girlfriend right in front of you, you might think, "Hey. I think I'm goin' fuckin' crazy.".
By some misguidance of fate, along with your own stupidity, you somehow were born, placed on this earth, in which you are born, you live for a while, and if you're a shinobi you live a shorter while.
And because you were born, because you ran around in green spandex and laughing at your own jokes, and you were taught tactical lessons by a man who wore orange legwarmers and yelled about youth, you screwed up and alerted a trillion enemy ninja you were there.
And because of this wonderful domino effect, they captured you and your friends they didn't kill and threw you onto the mercy of a dozen or so mercenaries who probably fucked their own mothers before they killed her. Just because you were born, they raped all the women and half the men, saving the best and last for you, and threw you in some god-forsaken shithole with a bunch of half-dead blood and shit covered of your comrades. Shinobi who used to kill babies and women crawl up into your lap and weep, as if you were the strong one. When in turn, you were the weak one who got them all into this fuckin' mess.
And, goody goody, next week the Konoha reinforcements come in, and finally conduct a "rescue mission" on the whole group. They drag up all the cum-covered corpses and burn them. Then they drag you out, about a hundred pounds of guilt and shame into the stupid fuckin' light of day you haven't seen for weeks through your hollow eyes.
They drop you in some water, give you clean clothes, and shove you back into the streets of the village, reminding you there's another Anbu missions meeting this week.
Never mind the only thing keeping you alive that week was some part of your fuckin' mind that kept yelling at you not to die. Never mind you turn around and see faces of people who got fucked and killed by your own stupidity. Never mind you cringe in the sheets at night because you can still feel the godamn rapists hands on you. It's just, "There's a planning meeting Friday, Lee. Don't be late.".
So you go to a home that doesn't feel like home, you sit on a bed that isn't yours in a body that belongs to some rapist Mist nin because he took your goddamn virginity and your sanity, and you sit there.
And you see faces of the people you loved so close you could reach out and touch because you're not all there, your sanity's back in a shit hole somewhere in Mizugakure. But you can't touch them, because they're fucked, dead, burned and tossed into the wind to float back to Konoha and haunt you. And you remember that, and you're still seeing things through hollow eyes and you wish you were just goddamn dead.
So somewhere in your mind you see a knife, and you grab it. And you stab the hell out of your wrists, your arms and legs, and every part of your body you can see.And finally you flop on the ground in a puddle of your own blood again, and as the world fades you see every face your stupidity killed, and you close your eyes.
So, yeah. If your name was Rock Lee, you'd be a little fuckin' crazy, too.
A/N: I'm going to go be angsty for a while.. Please press the purple button on your way out, and keep your seatbelt fastened until your stomach stops churning.
