ZOMG SCHKOOL
By Hoogiman
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
Author's note: This chapter is to explain why they're in school or something… I don't know… perhaps this is an awful parody…
Chapter One: The Explanation
"Everyone!" said Master Hand, "Look at my new invention!"
Everyone suddenly stopped their daily rituals, and dashed from the room that they were in into Master Hand's room. Why? Being interested in Master Hand's strange gimmicks gets his respect for you, as well makes you get a pay rise. Which means you can afford to have a meal every now and then.
"Wow, I'm so interested!" said Bowser, grinning in a fake voice.
"Cool! What new cool things did you make this time, Captain Cool?" said Nana, grinning.
"You never call anyone cool!" said Popo, angrily.
"Do so!" replied Nana.
"Name one time!"
"Well… uh…"
Nana hit Luigi on the head with a frying pan.
"Ow-a!" said Luigi, angrily, "What was that for?"
"Uh…" said Nana, "(insert witty ramblings to save awful punch line set up)."
Everybody chuckled.
"My new invention is a time machine!" said Master Hand. "This time machines is so cool! It can transport you to any time of the world's existence! Now that you've got the general gist of my invention, I can put any random junk into my speech, and because no one is reading, no one will notice anyway!"
"Cool!" said Nana. "I want to go back 2000 years ago and meet Jesus! I'm such a devoted Christian!"
"You're not a Christian at all!" said Popo angrily. "In fact, I've heard you mention several times you didn't care about religion!"
"I do too!" said Nana angrily, "I mention religion all the time!"
"Name once!" said Popo angrily.
"Well… uh…"
Nana hit Luigi on the head with a frying pan.
"Ow-a!" said Luigi, angrily, "What was that for?"
"Uh…" said Nana, "(insert witty ramblings to save awful punch line set up)."
Everybody chuckled.
"Woah, deja vu!" said Fox.
"Who wants to try out my time machine!" said Master Hand.
Everyone said a collective, "Me!"
"Hop in, then!" said Master Hand.
Everyone cheered, and hopped in.
"But first, let me tamper with the controls so something will screw up when you time travel to make the story interesting!" said Master Hand.
Master Hand fiddled around with the control panel.
"I have a control panel inside my computer!" said Peach. "You can access it by the start menu!"
Several people clobbered Peach, because of that random trivial knowledge that wasn't needed to be brought up.
"Okay, have fun!" said Master Hand.
Everyone cheered.
Master Hand closed a door, and locked them inside the time machine.
"Woohoo! Money galore!" said Master Hand.
Master Hand raided everyone's rooms out of all of their money, and then floated back.
"Why aren't we travelling yet?" asked Mario, angrily.
"Because this piece of crap doesn't work!" chuckled Master Hand. "It's all a lie!"
A collective groan was heard.
"Hey, what does this button do?" asked Falco.
Falco pressed on a button, and… uh… everyone was magically… teleported… somewhere…
Inside the giant time machine…
"Hey, we're moving!" said Link.
An enormous thud was heard. Everybody covered their ears to block the sound.
The lights went out.
Peach screamed.
Link screamed.
The lights went back on.
The time machine disintegrated into thin air.
Everyone appeared outside a large building.
Everybody stared at each other weirdly.
"Why does everyone look so… so… young?" asked Link, looking around.
"Why don't I have my beard? My lovely beard?" asked Roy, patting on his chin.
Everyone stared at each other.
"Hehe… Link looks like… 15!" said Peach, teasing.
"OH NOES WE'RE ALL TEENAGERS!1" said Bowser.
The bell rung.
"OH NOES, WE'RE ALL VOLUNTARILY GOING TO HAVE TO ATTEND CLASSES THEN!" said Bowser.
Everyone walked inside, and attended school.
THE END
(of chapter)
