This is a companion to the other Baby Names (R/L)... hope you like this version...
Disclaimer: so,I know it... you know it... everybody knows it... what's the useof saying it?
Dedicated to my good friend Pinkstar146... I love you Twin Mind! (insert eveil laugh here)
"Draco…"
"…"
"Draco…"
"Hmmmrggg…hmmm"
"Honey…"
"Winnie the Pooh! Rushhhmmmmhhh"
"Draco!"
"Wha—(Grunt) Hermione…?"
"No… this is Rowena Ravenclaw… Of course it's me!"
"What do you want? It's only…(looks at clock) 3 am?"
"I noticed…"
"Why did you wake me?"
"I'm pregnant"
"…"
"Draco…(shakes Draco)"
"What?"
"I'm pregnant"
"…"
"Say something… what are you thinking?"
"It's funny… I thought you said you're pregnant"
"I am pregnant"
"No, I think I didn't hear right… You're remnant?"
"Draco…"
"…or poignant?"
"Sweetie…"
"…pollutant?"
"Draco…"
"Chocolate!"
"DRACO MALFOY!"
"What?"
"I'm not remnant, poignant, pollutant or chocolate, which by the way isn't even a homophone of pregnant!"
"It just popped into my head!"
"Ok… I'll say it again… I'm pregnant"
"You're…"
"Pregnant… yes…"
"You're going to be a…"
"Mother… yes…"
"And I'm the…"
"I don't know…"
"WHAT!"
"Of course you are, you prat!"
"I'm going to be a father…?"
"For goodness sakes Draco! Yes, you are going to be a father… I'm carrying your child… okay?"
"I'm going to be a dad! Let's tell everyone! Tell your friends! Tell my friends! Wait, I don't have any… anyway! Lets tell The-Hero-Who-Is-A-Loser and The-Sidekick-Of-The-Hero-Who-Is-A-Loser!"
"Please don't name Harry and Ron that…"
"Okay, sorry… but bloody hell! Lets tell the whole god damned world—" (Getting out of bed)
"Wait…"
"—Why didn't you tell me sooner? I was a bit surprised—"
"Draco…"
"—that you told me in the middle of the night, oh, wait, its already morning… hahaha—"
"…"
"—Wow! I'm going to be a dad… it's so surreal you know? We have to floo everyone… is scarhead awake this time of night?—"
"DRACO!"
"What?"
"We can do that in the morning, sweetie… (Pats the space beside her) come back here"
"What are we going to do? Hermione! We can't do that, we can hurt the baby…"
"Will you please listen to me? We are not going to do that… and besides, we can't hurt the baby and we can do that even if I'm in my third trimester… anyway, I want to name the baby"
"Right now?"
"Yes, right now…"
"Ugh… okay…"
"So, do you have something in mind?"
"It's a no brainer! Let's name him Draco Jr."
"How did you know it's a boy?"
"Malfoys always have boy firstborns…"
"Whatever… I don't like Draco Jr."
"What? Why not? Draco is a good name! It's from the Greek name Drakonwhich meant "dragon, serpent". This was the name of a 7th-century BC Athenian legislator. This is also the name of a constellation in the northern sky. See?"
"Not to burst your bubble, honey… but your name… well…"
"Is masculine? Super sexy?"
"Sucks"
"Yeah, it does…"
"(Pats Draco's arm) It's okay…"
"Alright… Draco Jr. is out"
"How about Sebastian?"
"Like the crab?"
"I was thinking of Saint Sebastian who was a 3rd-century Roman soldier martyred by arrows after it was discovered he was a Christian. But, okay… yeah… wait, how did you know about Sebastian the crab?"
"How do I know… hmm…? Maybe because watching The Little Mermaid around 500 times with your niece while babysitting her… I'm sure Sebastian squeezed his way in my head"
"I'm so sorry, honey"
"And she kept singing this hideous song… saying I just look like the guy who sang it"
"What?"
"…I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?
... and then you called me then I stood up… and after that she called me…"
"Eminem?"
"Yeah!"
"(Uncontrollable laugh)"
"What? Who's that guy?"
"(Still laughing)"
"Oh, she also said his name was Marshal something… hey, that's a good name!"
"(Laughs even more)"
"…"
"(Still laughing)"
"(Looks at watch)"
"(Still laughing)"
"Are you going to stop?"
"(Stops laughing) No. (Continues laughter)"
"(Sigh)"
After 5 minutes
"I'm okay…"
"Are you sure?"
"No… (Laughs again)"
After another 5 minutes
"Okay… I'm really done…"
"Finally!"
"So, you were saying?"
"How about Marshal Malfoy? MM… really cute…"
"Oh, my child will just melt in your mouth…" (Starts snickering)
"Huh?"
"Oh, nothing! Honestly! You just said chocolate out of no where… you should know!"
"…"
"No."
"Well, okay…"
"Hmmm… how about Hestia?"
"Hestia?"
"You know… the first Healer and founder of St. Mungo's… saved thousands of lives in the great goblin massacre in 1253… anything that rings a bell?"
"Oh! The Hestia the Prostitute!"
"Wow… you remember her from that… well, she did that before all of the good things she'd done…"
"Whatever… she still was a prostitute…"
"Alright! Fine… Hestia out… how about Harald?"
"You want to name our child Harald? As in the first king of Norway?"
"Wow, Draco…"
"Well… I think you rub off me…"
"Hmmm… how about Alfred?"
"Like Alfred the Great who defended England from the Danes?"
"Now I'm really impressed…"
"You really don't know me Mrs. Malfoy… I am smart like you"
"You're really good"
"I know… and it helps when you talk about what you read in your sleep"
"…"
"So…"
"So…"
"Do I really look like Eminem?"
"(Starts uncontrollable laughter again)"
You like? You review: thanks a bunch!
