Yeah, I'm in another fandom again. Hooray! I have been posting this story for a bit on tumblr under my main blog silversatori (still appreciate every reblog, since I don't actually have many / any readers right now.) Everything is tagged as #paint escape.
So basically, Nigel is one of the most hated characters, and I felt like giving him some love. My love is painful, so be warned.
If you don't know Aperture Tag, it's freaking awesome, you should check it out. The story isn't exactly original, but it makes up in design and music.
Anyway, have fun reading!
Blue gel splattered over black tiles. Air rushed in their ears and the long fall boots thudded down heavily on the other side of the gap.
"Terrific jump there," the little core cheered. The test subject stared up at the metal sphere observing them with its orange optic. If it could have, the core would probably have been grinning from one ear to the other. Which it didn't have now either, of course.
"You're the best of the best. Actually, the best since quite a while. Now, on to the next chamber!" The test subject sighed and turned towards the door. It slid open with a beep and a change of color from blue to orange.
"Holy science, you're fast," the core muttered, apparently to itself. It did that a lot, as if it wasn't aware others could hear it. "Hm-hm, yeah, let's take this one next." It had a male voice, so the test subject assumed it was supposed to be a man. But so young... the voice belonged to a teenager, sixteen or seventeen at the most, and not one that had been lucky in his puberty voice change.
The test subject left the chamber and entered a bleak hallway. Everything in here seemed unfinished, the skeleton of the facility barely covered by dirty white plastic plates. How deep underground was this? They couldn't remember how exactly they got here.
Behind the next door was the usual closed-off room, with a tiny podium and a tube hanging overhead. The test subject barely had time to step under the muzzle before being pulled upwards, changing directions with the tube. It was fascinating, really, and quite comfortable to travel like this. They didn't get stuck, and had a questionably magnificent view of underground Aperture. The ride ended far too soon and they landed back in another room just like the last. Everything in here looked the same, once you had seen one or three test.
"Alright then, let's increase the complexity a bit," the core announced. His words were followed by the sound of rustling papers. "Uhhhh... fizzler, fizzler, where did I put that... Ah! Those grids, called fizzlers, will activate and deactivate certain functions of your paint gun... Hm, I'm pretty sure I said that already. The flow direction... Why is that marked in here?"
The test subject exited the room with the tube and stepped through the green haze of light that marked the entrance to the new test. The little core was hanging right there, next to the entrance.
He broke off when he noticed the test subject looking at him, blinking the plates of his optic much like a human would. "What?"
The test subject raised an eyebrow at the metal sphere. It had been adorable in the beginning, him forgetting half of what he said and then being confused over it. There had to be a glitch in his hard drive somewhere.
"Oh, right, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Nigel, and you probably guessed it... I'm your testing associate for now." The was barely a pause before he continued in a mumble: "Actually, I'm in charge of this testing track. Always have been."
The test subject decided it wouldn't bring them anywhere to tell his "testing associate" that he already introduced himself or explained the fizzler. Maybe it went against his precious testing protocol.
"Let's put some ambient music... ahh!" The speakers shrieked, and shrill guitar riffs made the floor vibrate.
"No, no, that's... not right. Uhhhhh, how do I get rid of it..."
The test subject splashed blue gel on the ground in front of their feet and sailed over the gap without waiting. It was about time they could use the speed gel. It was much more fun with this.
The "testing associate" took an unreasonably long time searching through his "papers". Long enough, in fact, that the test subject had reached the exit. The song trailed off and the core let out a nervous laugh.
"Uh... That... was great. You were great, really. Unfortunately, uh, this wasn't part of the test, the music, I screwed that up, so... sorry."
The test subject suppressed a laugh and shook their head at the core. They shared their taste in music. That was something, at least. The test subject knew it was time to continue, but they didn't. The core looked nervous. In fact, it was hard to miss how the orange optic flickered over to the beginning of the test from time to time.
The core cleared his non-existent throat before speaking and his voice dropped to a whisper. It was useless, since he was still hooked up with the speakers. He didn't seem to notice. "Okay, you gotta do me a favor, just... go ahead already. Doors are open, fizzlers activated, you can solve the next test without my help. I gotta do something. Just... don't tell anyone. You get some of my Citranium, okay? Or the physical version of the simulated... doesn't matter. Just continue testing. I'll be back in a minute."
The core didn't even wait for a response before zipping off on his management rail. The core vanished behind a wall, but the test subject could still see him through gaps in the panels. He moved up to an office the test subject had purposefully ignored. It was lit up in a fashion quite similar to fire, and now that it was quiet, it was almost possible to pick up faint traces of music.
The test subject turned around and hurried to the next chamber.
There had to be cameras everywhere, even if the teenager core wasn't checking them right now. The test subject considered the angle and then sprayed some repulsion gel on the wall. What if some of the cameras got covered up by accident? How were they supposed to know?
They only had a few minutes, at the most. This thing had been upgraded a bunch of times it seemed, but the basic mechanics were still the same. It was just one little chip.
Had the core been an actual employee, this would have cost him his job. As it was, there was nobody but the test subject to hear what he said, since he had clearly forgotten to turn off the speakers in the other room. The words were clipped, and echoed through the corridor, but most of the meaning carried through.
"...know. You're... Metal Core... Still, you can't... No!"
The test subject replaced the casing, and slipped the chip into the jumpsuit's pocket. Judging from the tiny battery attached to the chip, it was self-reliant, so it should still send a signal if it was supposed to do so.
The test subject splashed orange gel on the floor. So far, so good. Then they stepped through the fizzler, earning a tiny sting of electricity from their pocket. They pulled the trigger again. Sure enough, the gel was flowing.
Now, time to do the test as their "associate" asked for. Jump over a gap, get the cube, press a button. This was getting lame over time. The test subject landed safely in font of the open door, but didn't go through yet. The core's voice was almost inaudible from this distance.
"...alright. Yeah. ...test... got... get back."
The test subject waited. Just when he assumed the core would enter the room, he turned to the door and unhurriedly walked through.
"Ah, nicely done," the testing associate complimented. "Well, actually, I didn't see any of it, but you were as fast as ever, so still, very good. Sorry for the interruption. Internal stuff."
When the next door opened, the test subject was greeted by gush of cool air, the smell of mist, and stars sparkling in the distance.
Somewhere inside their chest, a little hope flickered up, but of course, that was ridiculous. Aperture didn't work like that. Outside meant outside influences, espionage, and test subjects or employees getting away.
"Alright, I'm sure you got a ton of questions. But first, let me say this: You were an amazing test subject. Because..." He trailed off for a bit as to heighten the suspense. "This is the last test! And thanks science, you're not like the last one... why would humans have to do their business so often, seriously?" He paused and blinked. "Maybe... nah, you probably figured there are more test subjects than you. Good job, uh... test subject name here... Damn it, I knew I forgot something. I guess that means no personalized Citranium cans. Sorry. But I promise, that doesn't make it any less tasty."
The test subject didn't even bother to answer that. The kid was a decent actor, alright. Or was programmed to be one, at least, but he couldn't pull off a manipulation that obvious.
Not that it mattered, as long as it worked. People weren't that complicated after all. Codes were not humans. They were easy to dispose of.
They also could get a little unreasonable when their name was being forgotten.
The test subject sprayed orange gel on the floor, adding a little touch of blue at the edge, and then sailed over to the other side. The platforms looked more like huge metal crates piled up and fasted with steel cables. Aperture had been too cheap to manufacture the tiles for this. Too expensive to clean, probably. The test subject enjoyed flying, the feeling of air in their face, lifting their hair up and cooling the sweat, but also the view it gave them over a testing track. Especially the view.
"Uh, where are you going?", the core demanded. His simulated voice wavered between worry and annoyance. "That's off bounds, we can get in trouble for that. W-What was that noise?"
The plates covering the walls tumbled down into the mist, parting it for barely a second, revealing a thin floor that couldn't withstand the impact for a moment. They crashed through, making the whole test structure shake.
The core let out a startled yelp and tried to get a better look, as far as his management rail went. "Ah, no, what are you doing? This will get us in trouble, I mean, you're not gonna care, but I don't wanna be thrown into the incinerator too!" He broke off. "I... I shouldn't have said that. Scratch that, I made a mistake, that was another test subject. They misbehaved really badly, you know? Just... just come back here, okay? Okay? Hey, where are you?"
The test subject paused, their feet already in the hole the plate had covered before. The outer structure would take them right to the exit of the sphere, if they remembered the plans correctly. It had been a while, after all.
They weren't sure what made them hesitate.
It was only a personality sphere, right? If it was thrown into the incinerator, what did it matter? It wasn't human. A construct, something artificial.
But it was also a teenager. What really counted as being alive? Being born? Being organic? Having feelings?
The test subject got back to their feet and rounded the metal container again that had covered their escape route. The core was zipping back and forth on his management rail, muttering to himself in an obvious panic. He stopped dead when he saw the test subject.
"Oh, thank science, I thought you got lost. You know, the facilities are over there." He flicked his optic to the right. "The boss is very strict about failures, you know? I wouldn't want to end up like that fancy-looking core with the flower pattern." The casing moved in a way that might resemble a shudder for emphasize.
The test subject stepped up to the edge and stared down into the mist. There were dark patches in the clouds. They couldn't be sure, but that was where the holes had to be. The test subject waved a hand downwards and put on a quizzical expression.
He core spun his optic to the side, vaguely resembling a puppy cocking its head. "Down there? Well, more tests. You already went through them, actually. Some of the beginner's tests. Why?"
The test subject smiled and stepped back from the ledge. The blue gel was already hardening on the floor and every step meant working against the power meant to catapult them upwards.
"So, will you finish the test now? We have to be quick, or your record time will suffer. That would be bad, you know? The boss is getting a bit impatient, ever since her..."
The test subject stashed the paint gun into their belt, as far as that was even possible. They were lucky the jumpsuit was that large, even though it was still uncomfortable. They could feel paint running down their leg.
"Uh, what are you doing? I'm pretty sure you still need that, you know?" The test subject ran and leaped. The momentum carried them ten feet in the air and the impact punched every bit of breath out of their lungs. The core, not having any respiratory system to stun, let out a yell of surprise and pain as the test subjects arms locked around the sphere.
"W-What are you doing?! Argh, let go, I can't hold us both... wait, no, that means failing the test, no, I- I'll get us somewhere safe." The core's voice was strained with pain. The rails creaked pitifully as they began to wheel over to the nearest platform.
"It's for science...", he growled, as if to motivate himself. Cores couldn't cry, obviously, but their voices could be very expressive.
The test subject wrapped one hand around the claw locked into the core's body. He let out a whimper. "P-Please don't do that, i-it h-hurts-"
"Let go or die," the test subject said. Their fingers dug into the mechanism holding them in place, but they didn't budge. Yet.
They sped up a little more, but the nearest platform was still yards away. The test subject's arms were burning from the effort and they could feel their grasp slip on the smooth steel. There, a switch. The core let out a sound between a whimper and a sob, but sped up even more.
"N-No. I can't. We have to finish the test."
They were finally right over the holes the falling plates had punched into the floor.
The test subject narrowed their eyes, the orange optic almost blinding them. "Let. Go. Or. Die."
With an agonized shriek that was half a simulated voice, half the mechanics giving way, the locks opened, and they fell.
