It ain't easy to say goodbye,
Darling, please don't start to cry
Save Tonight by Eagle-Eye Cherry
It is almost dawn by the time she comes to; her lashes heavy with sleep and something past exhaustion. And though her position is literally between a rock and a hard place, it is entirely too early to even remotely consider moving. So, settling her shoulders back against the rocky knoll, Tifa Lockhart is left in silence to think. And other than move, she finds that's the last thing she really cares to consider.
"Good morning," he says to her, his voice deep and harsh with the early hour.
"It's not morning," is her simple reply.
She can feel him shift a bit under her shoulder, his hand bracing on her knee a moment before sliding his weight into a more comfortable position. Her eyes idly trace along the curve and crack of his leather glove on her skin, and for a moment she gets the sensation to grab hold of his hand.
But only for a moment.
Clearing his throat, the vibrations touch along the base of her skull before he speaks again.
"How'd you sleep?"
"Still sleeping."
She nudges a rock with the toe of her boot, watching it dislodge from the hillside and tumble to gravity out of sight. An eerie ambiance has set on the pair in their posture, the blue tint of early morning dusting the dark hills in a deep silhouette.
"Anyone here?"
The answer is obvious, but he asks anyway.
"No," is her answer. "Think they'll come back?"
The answer is obvious, but she asks anyway.
"No," is his answer. "No, I don't."
"I think they will," she muses aloud, stuffing her hands under her biceps for warmth. "They'll get here with the sun."
"How can you be so confident?" he pauses to collect the correct words, "I asked them to give up their lives for my grudge."
"Our."
"Hmmm?"
"Our grudge."
Cloud Strife is always self-absorbed, and that had never been lost on Tifa Lockhart, but at the current hour, it agitates her more than usual. Her jaw tightens and she rolls the back molars together in a soft grinding sound.
"You know," he starts, quiet and unsure, "you don't have to be here, Tifa."
Her eyes close heavily as she lets the words sting, continuing to tense her jaw and drown his voice out in her head. And she considers briefly to not answer him, despite that he didn't ask a question.
"I want to be here, Cloud."
She couldn't bring herself to let him go on, unsure.
"I don't."
A silence falls over them for a moment. By now, streaking rays of light had started to cut over the sleepy crests of the planet, painting the world before them in pink and red hues. How ironic, Tifa thinks, that the sun still rises the day the world ends. She sighs, leaning more into the man behind her, only to be startled as he begins to shake lightly.
Tifa turns her head, at once alarmed, to find Cloud Strife with his eyes close and small smile traced over fine lips and dirty features.
Cloud Strife is laughing.
"What's so funny?"
Cloud moves to touch his face, waving away any stray hairs from his eyes. His laugh quietly dies out into soft chuckles and light shakes before he meets her eye, smoothing his features back to a line.
"It's just ironic," he says.
"What is?"
Cloud glances out to the sunrise for a moment, gazing over the landscape with blue eyes turned violet in the sun's reflection.
"All these years, I considered myself lucky," he begins lowly, "lucky that I'd survived that day. But now - now I realize that Zack was the lucky one."
"Cloud..." she feels her mouth open, then close. The pain begins to weld in her throat, choking back any response as she turns away and hides the tears. Staring intently at the ground allows her an eventual grip around her words, slurring them together in cracked vocals.
"Is there really nothing in this world worth watching the end of it?"
"Not anymore."
He says it quickly - reflexively even - with a straight face and dark eyes, staring into the side of her face. She can feel his gaze burning into her and heating her cheeks in something she can't name. The fire dries her tears as she turns to face him again and takes her fist to his left eye.
There's only the sound of impact, a thick knock of flesh on bone as he turns away with the blow and all falls silent. Slowly, she retracts her arm, glaring, and removing herself to stand at the edge of the hill.
He doesn't move.
"Get up," she says harshly. "Now."
Slowly, Cloud Strife rises from his seat. His head is still turned away, a dark forming bruise painting his features.
"You're angry."
Tifa Lockhart scoffs, kicking a stray rock down the knoll with her boot. She grinds her teeth, flexes her hands, and shifts her weight. Anything to not look at him.
"I'm sorry," he continues with his head still bowed and away. "But I can't be what you want me to be."
"You think everything is about you," Tifa begins. "You think you have so much influence as to upset me? You think you matter that much? You think I want anything from you?"
He's looking at her now.
"You think Aeris died for you? You think her death is only your burden?"
Tifa takes a step. Her fist is coiled, drawn, and ready to strike.
"You think you're the only one who cares? Who has to care? Who carries the weight of the world on their shoulders? Who deserves to?" She cries in his face, shoving him back down to the rocks.
Cloud falls easily, bracing himself and shying away from her raised arm. He makes to fend her off, raising one hand to block out her form and closes his eyes tightly from the world and its view. He cowers there for a moment, waiting the inevitable blindly before opening his eyes in a questioning look.
"Tifa?" he tries quietly.
"Get up."
"You're over-react-"
"Now."
Cloud sighs, shaking his head before trying to rise before Tifa's foot finds a clean shot on his chest with enough force to send him crashing back to the ground. He's winded - more from shock than the blow - and glaring at her above him; hands on her hips with the sunlight blocking her features.
"What are you-" he begins, starting to rise again before another swift kick sends him reeling back in a hiss.
As Tifa advances for the next blow, Cloud backpedals on the ground. He opens his mouth to say something when she suddenly lunges and he's forced to counter. The first blow he deflects with his arm, the second catches him in the side of the head hard enough to blur the world.
He flips them to the ground in their struggle, using his weight and momentum to send them rolling down the rocky incline. There's a small cry as Tifa's spine finds a rather pointy rock. Another as her knee finds a rather tender organ.
Down the hill they tumble, striking, flinching, and cursing. Cloud's weight and size put him on top as they even out to level ground, his hand fastened around her right hook, with his other around her neck - pinning her.
They both flex a moment, Tifa flailing while Cloud holds fast for control, grinding their teeth and glaring. She screams out, violently shaking under him before he manages to overpower her, getting a hold of both her arms.
"I hate you!" she screams, raw in the throat by now. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you."
Cloud says nothing. Just stares down at her, unblinking and emotionless, as she struggles.
It's a minute - maybe two - of muffled curses and tears before Tifa finally gives up, falling limp and turning away to face the rising sun.
Cloud slowly eases off of her to stand. Without a word, he looms before extending a hand down to her. Tifa doesn't take it.
"I don't have an answer for you," he begins after another moment. "And I'm sorry that I don't. But, I know that I don't have an answer. And I know that I never will."
She doesn't move, continuing to lay on the ground. She hadn't asked a question, but Cloud Stife knows that whatever question Tifa Lockhart had not asked, he will never know the answer to.
"But I'm sorry."
"All you are is sorry."
Tifa sits up, pushing his hand aside and sweeping her hair back. "You can't be sorry for everything."
Cloud looks thoughtful, gazing out across the open plain. He makes a humming noise before gazing down at his boots again. Silence begins creep in with the sunlight.
It's going to be a beautiful day.
"Cloud," Tifa begins, standing, "just forget about it, yeah?"
"I'm not sorry you're here."
She doesn't look at him. Of all the regrets, the second chances, and the faults - this was the one thing she was sorry about: spending the most beautiful day with Cloud Strife.
It shouldn't have been him, and it shouldn't have been her. They were both people favored by circumstance, and for once, Tifa felt cursed that fate had chosen her and not someone else. And that was all Cloud Strife's fault.
"Come on," Cloud says suddenly, "we've got to go save the Planet." He gives a small pained smile, masking his insecurities as he motions towards the waiting (empty) airship.
"For who?"
"For ourselves," he answers.
A/N: There was a point to this drabble, though I don't think it's obvious enough. I guess that's what you get at four in the morning. Anyway, thanks for reading.
