Kirk tells himself his actions speak for themselves: the flirtatious smiles over chess or on the bridge. Casual touches to reassure, to protect, or to tease. A rare sort of wordless communication and teamwork.
Spock knows. He must. And because he is rational, he knows all the reasons why they cannot be anything more intimate than this.
Then Kirk says something one day, just another day except it's the end of their five-year-mission, and Kirk doesn't know if they'll get another one together.
The words slip off his tongue as easily as "it gives me emotional security," as honeyed as "you almost make me believe in miracles." Except what Kirk says is not ambiguous at all, cannot be taken to mean anything other than what all those words have always meant.
They talk about where they'll go after this, and Kirk simply says, "stay."
"Where, Jim?" Spock says.
"Wherever," Jim says, and the full sentence is wherever I am.
Spock steps forward, and Kirk sees his lips part and thinks the Vulcan understands. Then Spock surprises him by swallowing and saying roughly, "Why?"
Kirk answers without thinking: "Because we belong together." Kirk means it to be lighthearted and friendly, but today is an emotional day for all of them. Kirk meant it to come out as because we're a good team, but the words that echo between them are because I am utterly in love with you.
He sees something in Spock shift, sees his eyes soften and his head cant a small fraction to the left. "In what way, Jim?" Spock asks.
Neither of them breathe for a moment, but then Jim grabs him by the shoulders, and Spock clutches his back, and their lips crash together. The kiss feels like a long-awaited breath.
The next morning Kirk wakes in his bed alone.
