Pain, hate and confusion often cloud our judgment make us do things we would normally never do, say things that were never supposed to leave the back of our minds. Yet even though we try no to, all of us at one time do, sometimes more than once. The only difference is sometimes its little things that never really amount to anything…. but other times its things that ruin everything.

I watched him leave, and it left a hole in my heart…. I watched that shooting star with my last bit of hope and when it vanished from the night sky my shine vanished with it, my eyes lost their sparkle, my step lost its bounce. Everyone tells me I've changed, all I can do is try to smile and tell them its not so, but in my heart I know I've changed…everyone has changed, wither we've grown older or wiser, grown more closer or apart, followed our dreams or found new ones, we've all matured…..Ami has become the doctor she always wanted to be, Rei inherited the temple from her grandfather once he passed away and has become a successful businesswoman as well, Makoto started with one restaurant and now has eight in the Japan area and fifteen around the world, Minako has become the head of a modeling agency after she spent a few years modeling, Haruka still races and has traveled everywhere, Michiru still plays her violin and paints, and Hotaru, little Hotaru has grown up into a beautiful young woman who is working hard in her studies. Sestuna is still at the time gates but visits and every now and than, and Mamoru…well Mamoru is Mamoru, he'll never change.

I guess you could say I have changed, my hair is lighter, my eyes are darker, I lost weight and my appetite has lessened to almost nothing, but my dreams? Ha, right my dreams; remind me what they are again.

I tried to change my destiny, to many times to count…..but every time they come after me, they talk me back and than a few weeks later I'm trying to break away again. It has really become a little routine I guess you could say. I've tried to tell them, explain to them that I don't want this destiny, for all I care Fate and Destiny can go fuck themselves, theres only one person I want to be with, the raven haired, navy eyed idol who at one time protected me like on of my very own senshi. But they never listen to me, they just say that Mamoru and I have things to work out…. everything will be fine, I'll see. But I don't want to see, I just want to be happy. But as long as I'm here with them I don't think I'll ever be able to be happy, why is that? Because they are determined to run my life, so I can make the future they all want, but it isn't the future I want, I'm not the girl they want, they'll realize once I'm gone that they can always find some other unknowing little girl who will be glad to accept this destiny, than they can leave me, leave me to fly, fly far away and be free to live my life the way I want to…….

I watch the little pools of blood that seep from the cuts on my wrist, a small, sad, but real smile tugs at my crimson lips, I giggle enjoying the pain that floods my body, not a pain really….a release. I sit among the silk sheets of my bed watching the crimson stain the pearly white color, thinking of all the tears these sheets have dried, all the pain I've wept into this fabric, all the times I screamed in protest as Mamoru forced his way into me saying I teased him and this was what I deserved. But now I won't have to worry about it, will I?

Everything is going light now, everything is swirling around me, I can't help but giggle, soon I'll see my Seiya again…..very soon.

"Oh Kami! Usagi!" Is the last thing I hear before everything is gone and I feel happiness and release run through me…I am finally free.