Disclaimer: I don't own the characters
"There just scars," I repeated to myself before stepping in front of the full length mirror. The burn scars from that night covered my body. The left side of my body was covered in them, including my face. Try hiding that with cover up. I looked over my body gritting my teeth before clenching my fists. I couldn't lost it, not now, not today. I slipped into the black dress, not bothering to put on any make up. Once upon a time the burns weren't so bad. Once upon a time, I could hide them. That was until the fire a month ago.
I use to be pretty. The burns took that away.
"Come on, sis," Mike said his eyes puffy and red. He looked over me then looked in the mirror. I couldn't take my eyes off the scars. "Stop," he said lightly pulling me away from the mirror. "We need to go," he announced wrapping his arm around my waist. It all felt so unreal, like a dream I would soon wake up from. But I knew I wasn't waking up from this nightmare anytime soon. Silently I climbed into the backseat of the car with Mike. My mom, Ella, was in the passenger seat tears silently falling from her eyes. My dad, Byron, was driving, although I didn't think someone so emotionally wreaked should be behind the wheel of a car.
"Did..." I broke the silence for the first time. "Did anyone tell them not to light it?" I questioned talking about the Hastings fireplace. Mike only shook his head before squeezing my hand. Today was supposed to be full of remembering Tabitha. The Hastings, Spencer's family, thought it would be therapeutic. I think it's just asking for someone to have a mental breakdown.
"Aria!" Alison announced throwing her arms around me. She was the last to know about the... incident. She was away for the week when it happened, and she just got home. I'm sure not one person filled her in all the way. "Are you ok? Wait, that's a stupid question of course you're no okay," she rambled refusing to let me go. "My mom made casserole," She said at a loss for words making me give a slight giggle for the first time in a month.
"Casserole for years," I said hugging her back. I wasn't sure why everyone baked casserole after you lose someone. What's the purpose there? Someone in your family just died, but, uhm, here's some food you probably won't eat anyways. It was a nice gesture I just didn't understand it.
"Jason's back in town, he came, because he knew Tabby," she blabbed making me go stiff. Jason was here? He was the last person I wanted to see. The boy I've had a secret crush on for years, the boy I was in love with, was here. He was going to get to see me looking like this. "Oh shit," she said putting her hands over her mouth.
"It's fine," I said dropping my arms from around her.
"Hey," Spencer said looking me up and down.
"The fireplace isn't lit, right?" I questioned still standing outside of the house.
"Of course not," she said grabbing my hand and placing it in hers. "I'm sorry about all this. You know my parents," she apologized for the fifth time. "They set up pictures of Tabby, and you," she explained trying to let me know what I was going to walk into.
"There are pictures... of what I use to look like?" I questioned as Ali wrapped her arm around my waist.
"You're still gorgeous," she said in a light tone.
"Mirrors?" I questioned watching Spencer bite her lip. "Right mirrors," I said taking a deep breath. "How many people?" I questioned. It was going to be the first time all summer, anyone except for Hannah, Emily, and Spencer saw me outside of the family. Not even there parents had seen me, I hadn't allowed it.
"We can sit out here," Spencer said biting her lip. "The whole school is basically in my living room," she said not trying to hide how many people where there.
"You coming?" Mike questioned standing at the doorway.
"He needs me to go," I whispered looking at my younger brother. He seemed to turn into an adult overnight since the incident. I dropped Spencer's hand walking up to Mike and grabbing his. He was the only one I'd really been talking to all summer.
"Mirrors," I said simply taking a deep breath. "Pictures," I said. He knew what I was talking about. All the mirrors at home had been covered. Besides the one in the bathrooms. Until recently even the one in my room was covered by a sheet at all times.
"I'll go cover the mirrors," Mike said instantly making me shake my head as Spencer and Ali joined us.
"No," I said standing there. "If I start to freak out, get me out," I said talking to Spencer and Ali as well as Mike. "Let's go," I said squeezing his hand as the door opened.
"Aria," Melissa said immediately her eyes going wide. "Holy shit," she said flinching back slightly.
"Melissa!" Spencer screamed glaring at her calling more attention to us.
"Aria," Jason said with a slight smile. I couldn't help but turn away from him afraid of how he would react. I could handle everyone else, at least I thought I could handle everyone else. But I couldn't handle him flinching away from me the way Melissa just had.
"Come on," Spencer said noticing Tabby's group of friends walking up, tear stricken faces.
"We're so sorry," they said looking at the floor. "Tabby was an amazing person," they all choked out before walking away. I was told we're sorry for your loss about a million times while sitting on the couch. Nothing seemed real. Hannah and Emily, came shortly after I'd gotten there, hugging me and never leaving my side once.
"I have to pee," I said suddenly. "We can't do that together," I informed them walking into the bathroom. Even in the bathroom I found a picture stuck to the mirror, or Tabby and me. We were fifteen, standing on the beach, smiling so brightly I couldn't remember ever smiling like that.
I took the picture from the mirror staring at the girl in the picture than to the girl in the mirror with disgust.
"They're just scars," I muttered to myself clenching my fists. "They are not me," I said feeling the rage over come me. I forgot all about my bladder, I forgot where I was, I forgot everything except that Tabby was gone, and I looked like this. Like a monster right out of a horror movie. I couldn't help the tears that were falling, I couldn't help the rage inside. Before I knew what I was doing I clutched a bottle of hairspray chucking it at the mirror shattering it into a million pieces.
"Aria!" I heard Spencer screaming from outside the door. "Are you ok?" She screamed banging on the door. "Aria!" She screamed trying to open the door. Instead of opening the door I found myself falling into the bathtub hugging my knees to my chest. "I don't fucking care, break it down!" Spencer yelled to someone.
"Jason break it down!" I heard Alison order. "Break it down."
"I'm fine," I choked out through the tears.
"Shut the fuck up!" Jason yelled immediately silencing everyone. "Open the door Aria," he said lightly.
"Not with everyone there," I said in between the sobs that were causing me to shake.
"Who's allowed to be here when you open the door?" He questioned letting me have control over the situation.
"Mrs. Hastings, Spencer, Emily, Hannah, and Ali," I said simply not willing to let him see me.
"Ok everyone else is leaving," he said simply. "Mrs. Hastings will let you know when you can open the door," he said calmly. "Get the fuck out of here," he hissed to more than one person shooing the crowed from the small room.
"Coast is clear," she said simply as I unlocked the door. Shards of glass covered the floor making Mrs. Hastings close her eyes.
"I'm sorry," I apologized handing her the picture. "I didn't mean to. I just..." I said glancing at the floor. "Had an episode," I finished as Spencer, Emily, Hannah, and Ali came over to me.
"It's fine. I told them to keep the pictures out of any room with a mirror," Spencer said harshly. "Let's get out of here," she added making me shake my head.
"I need to be alone," I explained. "I need to get out of here," I said watching Mike disappear through the crowed of people. "I'm leaving," I said running through the crowed of people right before running into the one person I didn't want to see.
"Let's go," he said seeing the tears running down my face. Jason wrapped his hand around my waist pulling me through the crowed of people before finally taking me outside. "Deep breaths," he said sitting me on a bench.
"Go away." I shoved my hands against his chest watching as he didn't move an inch. It was like I hadn't even touched him. "Get away from me," I cried trying to shove him away as he grabbed my tiny fists. "Stop looking at me," I tried hiding my face from him.
"No," he said simply. "Aria, don't push people away," he said softly as Ali came running up.
"You can hide at our house tonight," Ali announced with a slight smile. "We'll order pizza, and watch movies, and gossip about school," she added quite out of breath. "We can even hang out with Jace. You two use to be pretty close till he went off to collage," she announced putting her hands on her hips. I looked over at Jason closing my eyes slightly.
"Ok," I said against better judgment. Jason was right I couldn't push them away
A/N: Thoughts? Let me know what you think.
