A/N – (I do not own Harry Potter or the characters in anyway. All credit goes to J. K. Rowling and her brilliant mind.)
Blind Heart
Narrator's P.O.V. (Third Person)
The cloaked figure had no idea what he was doing. The thin piece of card that had finally lead him into this ridiculous position, created more of an influence then he wished it to. The words he had had the pleasure in reading were etched permanently into his mind. Every time he blinked, her name in her perfect hand writing flashed before his eyes, and that angered him more than anything in the world.
She had finished with him in their fifth year. She had chosen her path and he had chosen his, but now, as the most important day loomed over her, she wanted him back in her life?
The grim man barked a laugh at the tear stained RSVP. He shouldn't care, he knew she didn't. So why did he allow emotions he had bottled up for so long suddenly come flooding back?
"Oh, Lily," he sighed, as he looked at his reflection in the full body length mirror placed in the corner of his room. "You have no idea what you've done to me."
Severus fixed his cuffs as he stared plainly back at his reflection. He made the evaluation that since becoming a servant of the Dark Lord, his health had rapidly decreased. Being constantly in the presence of the cruciatus curse had caused his joints to seize up multiple times. He knew there would be worse to come; after all, he had committed his first murder only a few months back. But if the Dark Lord was not impressed, the punishments he faced were what he thought best fitted his failures.
With a heavy heart, he tore his gaze away from the looking glass, walking silently over to his bedside table to delicately take the lily flower placed in the vase above the old oak cabinet. Tears welled in his eyes at the simple gesture he had planned to give to Lily.
"God sake, Severus," he whispered harshly to himself. "Grow up!"
The haggard, young man took a long deep breath in, before exhaling and disapparating to the venue he knew would be the moment he faced the hardest torment of his life.
A loud crack filled the silence. Severus could see the church from where he stood. The bells rang proud and clear. He could see the floating lamps from where he stood, watching them as they glowed different colours in the distance. Muggles would believe that they were hung from clear strings, but to wizards like himself, it was clear this was magic.
Lily always had told him as a child, how she would have loved to have had lamps like the ones she now presented at her wedding.
Stop! Severus mentally chided himself.
He thought it best not to apparate into the wedding venue itself. He had to build his courage up before taking the last few steps into the last moments of his life which were worth living.
A slow walk was all he could manage as he forced himself up the concrete steps. The banister was decorated delicately with white ribbons. Purples weaved in between the whites and creams, captivating Severus' attention as he continued his journey up the stairs. His black robes, he noticed, contrasted noticeably with the theme, much like he and Lily did as individuals.
It wasn't until his foot rested upon the last step that he dared to look up from the grey floor.
Sirius, Remus and Peter stood in a group by the doors, whispering to one another as Sirius clapped Remus on the back.
He didn't want to be noticed by the group that caused his and Lily's friendship to break up, but as he neared the grand wooden doors that would lead him into the equally grand church, he knew that the chance of going by unnoticeable was impossible.
As if responding to his own thought, his foot caused the gravel to crunch rather loudly under his weight, causing exactly what he didn't want to happen, to happen.
"Snape?" And although it was a question, it was rhetorical. The venom behind it unmistakable to Severus' ears.
"Well, well," Peter continued.
Snape stared icily at them. Remus retreated ever so slightly.
"Didn't you understand in our fifth year, Snivellus? Lily doesn't want anything to do with you!" Sirius taunted.
"She gave me this." He was determined to be heard out. Forcefully thrusting the letter into Sirius' unprepared hand, he waited impatiently for him to read it.
"Looks like you got grease stains over it." In shock horror, the black haired man could only watch on as he ripped the paper into small bits. "Makes it a bugger to read." Peter laughed as Sirius snorted. Remus stared at Severus with a sort of sorrow in his eyes.
"How dare you-
But he was too late; Sirius had already tied his limbs together with invisible binds.
"How dare who, Snivellus? I think it's you in the wrong."
"I-
Peter continued to laugh.
"Cat caught your tongue?"
Severus tried to talk again, but his tongue was glued to the top of his mouth.
"I thought so. Really, Snivellus, I think it's time to go home, don't you?"
With a swish of his wand, Sirius let him free of the invisible ropes. On instinct Severus spat at him, turning furiously round and running wildly back down the steps he came.
"Coward!" Peter called from behind him.
Salty tears ran down his sunken cheeks and into the corners of his mouth. He wiped them away with his sleeve, preparing to apparate back home when a small hand caught his shoulder, preventing him from turning the final corner.
His name fell softly from her lips, and he froze in place.
"Sev."
With a trembling frame, he took another step forwards, resulting in a harder tug back.
"Please," she begged. "Don't be like this."
With a slow turn, Severus finally met his long lost friend. Her hair was elegantly pinned up with pearl decorated pins. Cream ribbons fell from her hair, over her shoulders and down her back. Her eyes were strikingly beautiful today, and that in itself, made it difficult for Severus to look away.
He found renewed energy, keeping his mind bitter before responding. "Be like what, Lily?" She flinched, shrinking back slightly. "It's perfectly clear I'm not wanted here. James' little friends made sure of that," he spat.
Lily looked down at the floor. "I- it wasn't meant to be like that," she responded in barely a whisper.
"Well it was, and it always has been."
She inhaled sharply.
"And here you are," he continued, in a cold voice. "Marrying the most arrogant and pompous person of the group. How do you expect me to react?"
He saw how hurt Lily was at his words, but he knew she could see the red rings around his eyes from the tears he had split. He didn't want her sympathy.
"I'm sorry, Severus."
"Sorry?" He laughed, a hint of hysteria clouding his mind. "I was sorry once, Lily. That didn't satisfy you though, did it?"
A tear fell down her cheek, causing a line of mascara to appear.
"Sev," she weakly said again. "Please don't be like this."
"I have my reasons and you have yours. I tried to be loyal to you, but that wasn't even enough. Please," he croaked as his throat constricted, "Just let me go."
Lily dropped her hand from his upper arm and in a split second, Severus was walking away again, leaving the red headed beauty in a silent plea of desperation.
"But you came!" She called, her voice wavering with unshed tears. "That has to count for something."
Severus stopped in his tracks; another tear fell down his cheek as he breathed in and out deeply.
"I came because you invited me," he said simply.
"So you don't care at all?" She responded, angrily.
"I cared once, Lily, but even that had to come to an end."
His robes billowed behind him as he turned to look at the devastated figure again. "You see, Lily, you and I are one person with a split personality. We were like Ying and Yang, but now it's gone, just like everything else. You are good, and I am bad, and from that evaluation, I do not have a place with you now."
"Sev..." She tried to say more, but it came out as a squeak.
"But above all, Lily," he began. "I came here today because I still care about you." His confession was bittersweet in the circumstances he was in. "And even though we're not friends anymore," Lily went to speak but he cut her off with a wave of his hand, "I thought I would come as moral support, for even if I am not your friend anymore, you will always be my one and only best friend."
Lily grasped his hand in her tiny one.
"I forgive you, Sev." Severus looked into her eyes; his face was reflected back at him from her black pupils. It was a mask of shock and underlying joy. "And no matter what you do, or what happens, you'll always be my friend."
She rose onto the balls over her feet to reach Severus' level, kissing him lightly on the lips.
Severus savoured her touch, closing his eyes while letting tears slide out.
"Always?" His voice shook with effort not to sob as he whispered into her ear.
"Always," she answered fervently, her red hair bouncing slightly as she pulled back from his ear to look at him.
Her smile was tentative as she squeezed his hand, continuing.
"You'll come to the wedding, won't you?"
He sighed, deeply, staring back up at the church before smiling slightly.
"Of course I will."
Lily's thumb rubbed soft circles over the top of his hand.
"Thank you, Sev."
It was her turn to turn her back on him now as she prepared to make her way to the church.
"One more thing, Lily."
The ribbons tied into her hair rippled in the wind, along with her wedding dress and veil.
"Yes?"
Severus lifted the white lily flower up to her. He got a gasp of surprise in response.
"Oh, Sev." Lily took the flower delicately from his shaking hand, into her own shaking hand. "It's beautiful."
He watched on as she tucked the long flower into her bouquet, smiling softly as she did.
Once finished, Severus offered his arm to Lily. She took it, holding on tightly as they walked back up the church steps, pausing before they could reach the last one.
"You know, Lily," he sighed. "You were always blind to the one person whose heart you had already taken." She looked up at him again; her bright, luscious, green eyes were brimmed with tears.
"I'm sorry, Sev."
He shook his head at her apology.
"Go," he countered.
"Promise me you'll be there." Lily's voice echoed in his mind.
"Always."
And that was the moment in which he watched Lily walk away from him forever.
A/N – Just an idea that popped into my head the other day. I think that Lily would have invited Severus to her wedding, for personal reasons.
And although they had argued in the past, I believe that they couldn't have stayed angry at each other for long.
If you enjoyed, please review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)
