A/N I know. Yet another story. However I do plan on finishing this one with in three months tops. ;)

Warning(s): Cross dressing. Slash. MxM. Randy/Wade also Sheamus/John. (Though they barely get mentioned.) Rated T, but it could change into an M later on. There will also be a few occ but they are only there a couple of times. Slight AU.

A Weekend For Two.

Of all the things that Randy Orton has had to do in his life, this had to be the worst. In all honestly, Randy didn't mind the fact that he was in a car with three people - no - it was the fact of just who was sitting next to him. The Viper didn't even know why he was here, and he sure as hell didn't know why John Cena, of all people, had invited him to come along too.

Here he was, sitting in a silver car; John was in the passager seat, Sheamus was driving, and then you had him.

Right next to Randy was the man who had to be the most hated person in the entire WWE; Wade Barrett. The Brit was fast asleep with his head against the window as Sheamus continued to drive through a dark wooded area in the middle of the British country side at night.

The reason?

Randy had been invited to go on a trip for the weekend with John and Sheamus, of course he had said no to begin with - but then John had started with the puppy dog eyes and, well, here he was...now regretting it. Sheamus had said it would just be the three of them over the weekend staying at a small cottage in the middle of nowhere, and it hadn't seemed that bad of an idea to Randy - getting anyway from the crazy fans, having peace and quiet - but then as Randy got in the car, someone else had been sitting in the back. Wade bloody Barrett. Talk about ruining a perfectly good break before it even began.

The Viper had done nothing but complained since, though after a few of John's 'don't push it' glares, Randy had sighed and went back to being his normal, "I'm plotting someones murder in my head," self. To say Randy hadn't forgiven Wade for knocking his down those stairs in the WWE arena would be an understatement.

"Randy..." John Cena's voice brought Randy out of his thoughts. The Viper looked up from where he had been glaring daggers into the sleeping Brit without even realising it. "Stop with the staring at Wade, people might start to think things." John chuckled as he shared a look with Sheamus.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Randy growled out, a frown on his face.

"Oh nothing. But seriously, stop with the glares; is it going to kill you to try and get along with Wade? Just once?"

"Yes." Randy didn't even hesitate as he answered, earning an eye roll from Sheamus.

"You know," John started, turning in his seat to look at Randy properly. "Maybe if you'd get passed this grudge of yours, you'll actually be able to have a good time this weekend. I invited Wade because I thought it would be nice, enemies turning into friends and all?"

"..." The steel blue eyed man didn't say anymore on the subject. There was one thing for sure, he would not be friends with someone like Wade. Though as Randy went back to his thoughts about how much he hated Wade, he didn't hear the sly comment that also escaped John's mouth.

"Maybe even turn into something more than friends..."


The car came to a halt and Randy looked up from a magazine he had pulled out of his bag about half an hourearlier. He raised and eye-brow as the engine cut off. They were literally out in the middle of nowhere. It was almost pitch black and the only light source was coming from the stars and the moon above which just about showed some sort of mangled, old cottage that looked ready to fall down into tiny pieces. 'Please god, tell me this is NOT where we're staying for the rest of the weekend...'

"This is it, fellas!" Sheamus shouted cheerfully.

'Great...'

"SHH!" John whispered as he pointed back to Wade, who was still sleeping soundly. "Be quiet, Sheamus..."

"Sorry..." Sheamus grinned scratching the back of his head before getting out of the car and going round to the boot. The Irish man opened it up and pulled out a torch before closing it again. He poked his head back through the door and turned to John and Randy. "We'll grab the bags in the morin' fellas, for now I think we should all go inside and get some rest."

John agreed with him and got out of the car, closing the door behind himself. Randy followed suit, slamming the door shut of course, though that made no difference to the slumbering Brit. They all walked up the small pathway with Sheamus leading them until they reached the door and John finally turned around and noticed that they were missing someone.

"Errr, Randy?"

"Yeah?"

"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Cena asked while nodding his head back towards the car, more precisely, at Wade.

Randy followed his gaze and frowned even more than before. "No, I'm not forgetting anyone; if you're that damn worried about Barrett catching a cold, then carry him in yourself." The Viper said strongly while crossing his arms over his chest.

John sighed. "Please, for the love of the WWE, will you just go and get him?"

Maybe it was the pleading look in Sheamus' eyes or the death glare in John's, but Randy ended up snapping a "Fine," and then marched down the path towards the car and opened the door. He caught Wade, unfortunately, and then undid his belt and pulled him into his arms. The few pokes before hand did nothing to stir the former leader. Which came across...very odd. Though his soft snores gave away that he was still breathing.

Carrying him over to the door, which was now open, Randy walked in and Sheamus closed it behind him.

"Take him up stairs and plop him in one of the beds...Once that's done you can take the other room and hit the sack, alright?" John ordered more than asked and Randy just nodded his head before heading up the stairs. He stopped dead once he realised there was only two rooms...'What the heck?' Randy thought to himself as he approached one of the rooms. 'Where the hell are John and Sheamus going to sleep?'

Opening one of the doors, Randy just about turned on the lights before stomping over to the small bed, tossing Wade down like a rag doll. Suddenly though, Wade's green eyes started to open and Randy froze. What was it going to look like with him standing over Wade like this? Green met blue for the first time that day, (Wade had been asleep when Randy had got in the car), Wade's eyes were all blood-shot and he tilted his head in confusion once he noticed Randy.

"O-or-to-n?" Wade croaked out, but before he could say anymore, he fell back to sleep with his eyes rolling into the back of his head. 'Weird...Isn't Wade the guy who can almost always never get to sleep before 3:00am in the morning? ... Yet now he can't seem to stay awake...' It was very strange but Randy couldn't bring himself to really care. This was Wade and almost no one cared about the Brit, so why should he?

Turning off the lights, Randy closed the door behind himself and walked over to the other room; over hearing John and Sheamus talk about something.

"Do you think they'll realise, fella?" Sheamus questioned.

"Nope. Did you see the way Wade was? He slept the whole way through; this plan can't go wrong."

"I guess."

"Trust me Sheamus, they'll thank us later - it was either this, or the WWE would be in ruins thanks to them..."

Randy ignored them as he went into the bedroom, not even turning on the light before collapsing onto the mattress.. Falling to sleep almost straight away, he hadn't realised just how tired he'd been...


The morning sun came shining through the window in Randy's room, disturbing the Viper from the deep sleep he had been in. After growling loudly at the sun over his face, Randy rolled onto his back and slowly began to open his eyes. He yawned slightly before stretching out his body, only to have his steel-blue eyes go wide in shock.

Something didn't feel right.

Sitting up in the bed as fast as he could, Randy pulled back the covers and gasped. He was naked. Completely naked from head to toe.

"What the hell?!" Randy yelled out, getting up from the bed and quickly looking around the place. By the door was a suit in a bag hanging from the door frame, however, it wasn't just any suit. There by the door was a wedding suit. It was black with a white shirt and light pink tie, black shoes right next to the trouser leg.

Considering that it was the only thing to wear, and Randy didn't really want to murder whoever did this to him naked, he pulled the clothes down and put them on, leaving the tie out.

Grabbing the handle of the door, Randy opened it and stormed down the stairs. "Cena!" Randy shouted, glaring holes into anything he could as if it would give him answers. There was no reply. "I know you had something to do with this!" The Viper went over to the window and pulled back the curtain, almost dying at what he saw - or more like - what he didn't see.

The silver car that had brought him here to the middle of nowhere wasn't there anymore. "You've got to be joking me..." Randy said whilst backing up until his back hit against something. He turned around and saw a table that had a note on. Picking it up as quick as he could, Randy read it;

Dear Randy & Wade,

I know you're both probably angry, especially you Wade, but trust me - this is for your own good. You both need to learn to get along with each other. So me and Sheamus came up with this plan, you two are going to spend the weekend here at the cottage together alone. We'll be back on Monday to pick you two up, until then you're fending for yourselves - and you will need to work together because we totally forget to bring you guys food, and water doesn't really work here. My bad.

Anyway. This is to bring you two together, because as of late, the entire WWE locker room is sick to death of seeing you guys disagreeing with each other all the time. Good luck - and Wade, just so you know;

It was Sheamus' idea. Not mine. :)

John and Sheamus. xxx

"I'll kill them..." Randy spoke with a bitter tone as he tossed the letter back down onto the table. What the hell were they going on about with Wade? He wasn't here -

Just as Randy went to curse Sheamus and John some more, he heard the other bed room door open. 'Please tell me that's not Wade?'

"Cena?" A small voice that could only belong to Wade Barrett came floating down the stairs and Randy sighed. 'Fantastic. Not only am I stuck here, but I'm also stuck with him!'

The Viper stopped mentally and sighed again. 'Calm down. Just keep your distance and you'll be fine...I hope.' Walking over towards the stairs, he took a deep breath. "Barrett?" He called out, and heard the sound of footsteps coming towards the top of the stairs.

"Orton, is that you?" Wade asked with his accent deeper than normal.

"Yeah, it's me, unfortunat - " Randy stopped mid sentence as Wade finally came into view, his mouth hanging open slightly at what he saw. It wasn't from the shock of seeing Wade, more liking seeing what Wade was in. The tall Brit was in a pure white wedding dress. It was a long dress that covered all of Wade's legs, including his feet. In Wade's hand was a pair of high-heeled shoes. The former leader of Nexus' hair was dry and started to go naturally curly. The dress hung to Wade's body perfectly, slightly tight around his crouch and chest, but it showed off his figure quite well.

However, Randy couldn't help but laugh out loud, earning a glare from the British superstar. "Why the heck are you wearing a dress?!" He said through laugher.

Wade rolled his eyes. "It was the only thing to wear, for some reason I woke up naked and with a headache of all headaches..." The green-eyed beauty huffed out before he began walking down the stairs, holding the side of the dress up until he reached the bottom. "You don't look like your normal self either, mate."

"Yeah." Randy wiped his eyes. "But at least I'm not in a dress. I wish I had my phone, I'd so be taking photos right now."

"Oh shut up!" Wade growled out. "Why are you even here! In fact, where the bloody hell am I?"

Randy stopped laughing and stood up straight. "Cena and Sheamus brought me here, what do you mean 'where am I?' How do you not know?"

Wade tilted his head and frowned deeply. "Last thing I remember was telling Cena, no to going on a trip with him and Shea...Next thing I know their pulling me along and then Shea injects me with something and then I wake up here completely naked."

"Right." Randy said, not really caring what Wade had to say as he looked around to the door. Though he couldn't help but picture Wade waking up naked, which disturbed him greatly - not the actual imagine, but the fact that he actually thought about it. "We need to find a main road and then follow it back to a town or something - "

"No," Wade protested. "We should stay here."

Randy glanced at Wade and then to the door. "There's a letter on the table from John and Sheamus explaining that there's no food here and no water. I think I saw an old shack and a farmer about three or four miles away, we can go there, ask for him to give us a lift and - "

"And nothing, Orton." Wade shoved passed him and picked up the note from the table, quickly scanning over it. "I'll kill them."

"So we can agree on something." Randy mumbled before heading towards the door. Wade watched him before speaking up.

"Where on earth are you going, Orton?"

"To find the farmer, ask for a lift, go to the hotel and be ready for Monday night Raw."

Wade folded his arms over his chest. "I'm not going with you."

Randy turned around and smirked. "As if I care. You can stay here and starve to death for the whole weekend..." The Viper opened the door and walked out.

Wade looked around the house before finally shaking his head. "Oi!" He called and Randy stopped and turned around to see Wade jogging towards the door. "Wait for me."

Smirking Randy watched Wade step out. Who said they couldn't get along?!

Review Or Pm. So this is going to be a comedy/romance story, something that I don't write often, but this is an old story that I wrote a few months back. It should only be a few chapters, 6 at most. Thank you for reading (sorry about any mistakes) and if you want me to continue then please review! :)