Lostheart twisted himself around the pale gray she-cat, their tails twining. He breathed in her sweet sent, barely detecting the Windclan smell on her pelt. He heard Dovewing purr loudly, and felt the vibrations in his own body. It seemed like nothing could ruin this moment, and Lostheart almost believed, if only for a second, that they could be happy- a Windclan cat and a Thunderclan cat, together. He saw visions of himself in the Thunderclan camp, Dovewing at his side. He saw her bearing his kits, lovingly staring into his eyes as they shared a heartfelt moment.
It was an outraged yowl that penetrated his hearing and snapped him from his tender fantasy. Lostheart whirled around, stepping in front of Dovewing protectively as he swung his head back and forth to locate the source of the sound. At last, he noticed the distant shape hurling itself towards fourtrees and snarling viciously, hidden by the shadows of night.
"We've been caught!" Dovewing wailed next to him, her eyes wide with terror. "Oh Starclan, my clan will think I've gone mad!" The she-cat padded her paws restlessly on the ground as the shape hurtled out of the shadows and into their view.
Lostheart was about to let out a defensive yowl, before he took a better look at the familiar white pelt.
"Snowingwind!" He gasped, his fear turning into relief. He let out a sigh and trotted closer to the slightly larger white cat, touching his nose to Snowingwind's ear. "Thank goodness it's only you; I thought I was going to be in huge trouble!" He breathed.
As he met Snowingwind's eyes, he realized that something wasn't right. The blue-eyed tom hadn't moved since he stopped, staring at Dovewing through hostile eyes. As he continued to speechlessly take in the sight, Dovewing padded forward.
"Hi, I'm Dovewing. I think I've seen you at gatherings before…" She trailed off when she noticed that the glow of hatred had not yet left Snowingwind's glaring eyes. Lostheart tensed and flicked Snowingwind with his tail.
"Well… are you going to say something?" He asked, blinking in confusion.
Snowingwind seemed to finally have gathered his thoughts. He let out a low growl and pulled his lips back in a hostile snarl. "What are you doing here with her? A Windclan cat!" He snapped. Lostheart winced, stepping back. He'd thought that Snowingwind would be more understanding!
"I… I love her!" Lostheart mewed, suddenly feeling weighed down and helpless. He knew he loved Dovewing, but why did his mew suddenly waver with uncertainty?
Snowingwind snorted. "You don't love her! I know you Lostheart. You're way to loyal to go falling in love with some lousy Windclan she-cat!" He spat, sending a meaningful glare in Dovewing's direction.
"Hey!" Dovewing said, returning Snowingwind's glare with just as much hostility. "You don't even know me; you have no right to judge! At least in Windclan, we teach our cat's to stay out of things that are none of their business!" She said smugly. Her gaze turned soft as she faced Lostheart. "Tell him!" She insisted.
Lostheart's heart twisted in anguish. That last thing he wanted was to be forced to choose sides between his mate and his best friend! He avoided the confrontation. "Y-you won't tell anyone, will you Snowingwind?" He froze a pleading gaze aimed at his friend's black-speckled pelt. Snowingwind faced him with anger blazing in his eyes, but it soon turned to sadness and hurt, and- was that jealousy he picked up in the Thunderclan warriors blue eyes? Lostheart blinked in shock.
Please don't tell me Snowingwind is in love with Dovewing, too!
He thought tensely. But he wasn't sure that was likely. Still, there was something behind the jealous prick in Snowingwind's glowing gaze.
"I won't tell any cat…" Snowingwind said, pausing and staring uncertainly at the two cats in the clearing. "But you must promise to stop visiting each other." He stated finally. Lostheart's eyes widened with shock, and he heard Dovewing hiss next to him.
"I will never stop seeing Lostheart!" Dovewing exclaimed, pressing her pelt into Lostheart's side. She tried to hold her head high, but Lostheart could tell she was more worried than she let on to be.
"I agree!" Lostheart meowed defiantly. "I can't stop loving Dovewing, and I want to see her forever." He was extremely uncertain, but his words and actions gave nothing away.
Snowingwind stepped back, his eyes wide with anguish and rage. "Fine, then I'll tell everyone in the clan, and announce it at the next gathering!" He threatened. Lostheart was taken aback by Snowingwind's threat. Why was he so angry? He and Lostheart had been friends since they were kits, and Lostheart trusted him with any secret. So why couldn't he keep this one? What was so bad about meeting the cat he loved? While Lostheart and Dovewing recovered from the shock, Snowingwind began again.
"You know Lostheart, ever since you became a warrior last moon, you've been acting so different! It's like you don't care about Thunderclan, or your duties, or ME!" He wailed. "What makes you so high and mighty? Is it the fact that Sandpaw thinks you're part of a prophecy? Why would Starclan send a prophecy to her instead of Goldenfeather? She's only the apprentice medicine cat!" Lostheart tried to silence him with a flick of his tail, but Snowingwind ignored him and continued his rant. "I've been a warrior for four moons longer than you have, and you don't see me acting like a stranger with my closest friends! Echostream doesn't even talk to you anymore- you've become a totally different cat! And now, I can't let you continue seeing this crowfood eating excuse for a mange pelt!" He yowled, and before Lostheart could reply, he dashed off into the woods, towards Thundeclan's camp.
Dovewing let out a mew of anguish. "He'll tell everybody in Thunderclan!" she wailed. "We won't be able to see each other anymore!" Lostheart pressed against her cheek to comfort her.
"No he won't, he's my best friend! Snowingwind is just feeling betrayed, that's all. He's not actually going to spill our secret, I know him better than that." He said soothingly, sure of his words.
"Betrayed by what?" Dovewing asked, growling in frustration. "Sure, you've been sneaking out to see me and you didn't tell him- but what's the big deal? We're not hurting anybody! This doesn't even affect him!" She hissed.
Lostheart didn't know how to answer that question. He'd been just as surprised by Snowingwind's reaction as she had, and he didn't know what was getting his friend so riled up about the whole thing. "Dovewing… I'd better go after him." He murmured into her ear, licking her cheek. Dovewing looked at him, her eyes flashing with emotion.
"Okay, I'll see you in two sunrises." She said, twining her tail around his and touching her nose to his flank. Lostheart nodded and dashed off, hoping to reach Snowingwind before he got back to camp.
He tracked Snowingwind's sent trail into the woods, surprised to notice it leading away from the Thunderclan camp. It swerved into the forest, seemingly going in a random direction. At last, Lostheart was able to track his snow colored friend to a part of the woods that was near the river. He spotted Snowingwind crouching there, his shoulders hunched and his ears and tail low. Lostheart grimaced at the sight- he'd never seen his strong, optimistic friend look so… broken. He watched in silence for a few heartbeats, staring at the white warriors claws absent mindedly tear at the forest floor. At last, he cleared his throat and padded up to Snowingwind, hesitantly stepping in front of the Thunderclan warrior.
"Snowingwind… Is there something we need to talk about?" He asked uncertainly. There was certainly something wrong with his friend, but he couldn't tell what it was. Lostheart felt helpless not being able to take Snowingwind out of this misery.
Snowingwind brought his head up and gazed into Lostheart's green eyes. Lostheart almost jumped in surprise as he took in the amount of pain reflected in the pair of blue eyes staring at him. His best friend was suffering from something he couldn't even imagine.
"How… how can you really not know?" Snowingwind asked, his voice cracking with emotion. His eyes seemed desperate, pleading with Lostheart to realize what was tearing at his heart- but Lostheart couldn't even begin to understand.
"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Lostheart growled in frustration. "Can't you just tell me what's wrong? Maybe I can fix it!"
Snowingwind shook his head sadly. "Nobody can fix me." He said, sounding utterly defeated. Lostheart noticed how he'd said nobody could fix him, rather than the situation.
"Are you sick? Injured? We can take you to Goldenfeather, he might know what to do…" Lostheart trailed off as Snowingwind slumped to the floor hopelessly.
"Goldenfeather can't help me." He said simply, resting his nose on his paws. "I've never felt so much pain, believe me- but this isn't the kind of pain a medicine cat can heal."
Lostheart bent down to meet Snowingwind's eyes, his nose gently prodding his folded paws. "Where does it hurt?" He asked sympathetically, his face so close to Snowingwind's that he could feel his breathe on the light brown fur of his face. Why is my heart beating so fast? He wondered, his breathe quickening.
Snowingwind gazed into Lostheart's eyes, and he brought his muzzle up to his. "As long as I'm with you, it doesn't hurt at all." He murmured gently, licking Lostheart's cheek.
Lostheart stared quizzically, his confusion rising as he felt the fur of Snowingwind's tail stroke his flank softly. Suddenly, his heart wasn't in Windclan. He could feel it, strong as ever, pulsing in Thunderclan- with THIS cat!
"I s-still don't understand…" He mewed softly, although he was beginning to think he did. Snowingwind's gaze brightened with amusement.
"Are you really going to make me say it?" He said lightly, pressing his fur comfortably against Lostheart's flank. Lostheart felt warm static where their pelts touched, and he began to feel his cheeks grow hot. He had no reply as he twisted around to keep the eye contact with the snow white warrior. "It's already confusing enough as it is…" Snowingwind said. "But Lostheart, I've felt this way ever since we were apprentices together…"
"Well, spit it out! Why are you acting so weird?" Lostheart said, his words coming out quieter than he'd intended. He didn't know why he was feeling so odd all of the sudden, and it was frustrating him. Suddenly, Lostheart felt Snowingwind's muzzle press against his, and he breathed in his friend's familiar scent. He sighed in satisfaction, letting all of his emotions rush out of him and flow between the two warriors in a single embrace. Finally, Lostheart fully understood Snowingwind's feelings, and when he opened his eyes to face the handsome, muscular cat standing before him, he ached to hear the words he knew were about to be said.
"Lostheart, I love you."
