So this OOC[like characters and storylines and ect] and pretty much made of my fantasy. But I thought it turned out pretty great so I hope if you enjoy you'll review :)
"I wish you were here, but you're not. You're there. And there does not know how lucky it is."
She didn't even understand why they invited her to this...this thing. She didn't understand why Daniel was doing this to her. This wasn't Daniel at all. Maybe it was Ashley. Why was Ashley doing this to her? She didn't understand her either. They were once supposedly best friends. Emily guesses that when she had gotten "in" with the Graysons, she didn't need Ashley so she dumped her on the side. She knows it was wrong, but once things started moving quicker she didn't have time for Ashley. It's terrible, but the truth. Ashley was the odd man out last year. She had a psycho boyfriend, and ulterior motives like climbing the social ladder.
Oh how things change in a year.
Now it was Emily who was the odd one. The night they broke off their engagement, she had found out that Jack was going to be a father. The baby had been born a month and a half ago. A little boy looked exactly like Jack, there was no question on his paternity. Emily had to pretend that it didn't break her heart, but Jack didn't look at Amanda like he used to. Instead, any time he looked at Emily it was like he wanted to be with her. Emily understood that rationally he had to wait though, because Amanda had just had a baby and he couldn't exactly leave her. Emily understood and a part of her didn't even really care anymore.
The night they broke off their engagement was also the night Victoria almost died. No one knew that she was still alive until the next morning. Emily knew that night that she needed to get back with Daniel to keep her "in" with the Graysons. That's all he was to her anyways, a way in. Instead she found her once fiancé in bed with her once best friend. It nearly broke her and she, to this day, doesn't know why. She stood there for what felt like hours and just looked at him. The second he said a word to her, though, she knew he was drunk. Ashley was taking advantage of him. She didn't care that all that was covering them was a sheet, she went up to him and put his face in her hands. She hated feeling that way. She hated to feel like she cared about him.
"Daniel, you're an alcoholic! You're not supposed to be drinking. And you, what kind of friend are you? You know he's not supposed to drink. He does stupid things when he's drunk."
"Yeah like get engaged to you."
Ashley's British accent annoys her to no end so she decides to ignore her. She tells herself to focus on Daniel. He doesn't even know that his mother is dead, yet.
"What do you care? You don't love me anymore anyways."
His speech is staggered and as he speaks his whole body moves back and forth. She lets out a deep breath and mumbles.
"I never said that."
They don't hear her say and she thanks the universe for small favors. She grabs his pants and tosses them at him.
"Go splash water in your face. Sober up, I need to talk to you about something."
He does as he's told, he's always complacent that way. They're not even together anymore and he's still listening to her. Some things just will never change, even when they are.
"You're not even plastered like him, are you?"
Her gaze shifts to Ashley who is sitting in the bed with a sly grin on her face.
"I think you know that answer already, Emily."
Emily is disgusted by her, but leaves Ashley alone until Daniel comes out of the bathroom. He looks like he's a bit more conscious, a bit more awake. But with him sobered up again, that look of hurt that was fresh on his face in front of her is back again. She notices the fresh tears brewing and for a moment she's stunned. He's so open to being hurt in front of people. She cried her tears alone, because no one would know that she had actual emotions.
"What do you need, Emily?"
He sounds so cold, so calculated- so much like her. She hates it. She's aided in the monster he's becoming. This is all partially her fault.
"Daniel, your mom…"
"What about her?"
"Her plane crashed. She and Lydia Davis were on it. They don't expect any survivors. I wasn't her biggest fan, but I'm sorry. I know how much you loved her."
In that moment, they both wish they were still together. All she wants is to wrap her arms around him. And all he wants is to hide his face in her blond hair. It always comforted him before and now their gravitational pull is greater than ever. But instead they have to deny themselves the right to fall back into place.
She goes up to her room to get dressed in one of the many dresses she bought last year. On her dresser sits a multitude of pictures. No one's been in her room since the night she broke up with Daniel anyways so what does it really matter? She grabs the one of her and Daniel on the night of the engagement party. Things were perfect then, he was still her golden boy. He was still perfect. Unchanged by everything that was going on around him. People were using him and he didn't care, nothing mattered to him back then. He was only focused on not being like the rest of his family. He didn't want to turn out like the stereotypical 'Grayson'.
God, she missed him.
Finally she gets herself dressed, puts her hair up in the way she wants it, and she gets on her makeup. She can wait till the last minute because the wedding is just down the beach, in the Grayson's backyard. Nolan is coming to pick her up. He didn't want her going alone, because supposedly she was likely to plan something and inflict mischief. She was just happy he was coming with, for support purposes. For whatever reason she lays in her bed, even though her hair is made up, and reflects. She remembers a year ago when she woke up she would see his smiling face across from her. She realizes that maybe- probably- she didn't love him, but his company. She loved the idea of not being alone, of having company, of having his company.
A knock on the door startles her and she realizes that it's time to go. It's time to go to Daniel and Ashley's wedding. It's time to go pretend she's so happy for them. To gush over them. Tell Ashley how beautiful she looks in her dress. What a gorgeous couple they are. How she's sure that they'll last forever and they'll be so happy. She's supposed to tell them congratulations and that she's so happy for them. So pretty much she has to lie her butt off.
It's a good thing she's a fantastic liar.
She grabs her clutch and opens her door to Nolan, who is dressed in a matching suit. He looks concerned for her. She always felt like he was this authority figure, always worrying and wondering and looking after her. Sometimes it made her feel suffocated. But in the past year, she's needed him to play that role. Because there were days where she wouldn't have eaten except for the fact that he practically shoved it down her throat. She now realized how much she made Nolan feel underappreciated. He didn't deserve that. He had done so much for her, it was her time to repay him.
"Are you okay?"
He asks as they walk down the beach to the ceremony.
"You know I really can't answer that right now."
"Well get your mask and put it in place, because Ems I'm seeing right through you right now."
"That doesn't mean everyone will."
"Ems, you look miserable."
She fixes herself to where he says she looks okay. There's assigned seats and of course Nolan and Emily are in the second row on the groom's side. She knows Victoria did it on purpose. So that Emily could watch as her once fiancé married someone else, instead of her. She tried to not let it get to her, she tried to breathe and pretend that this wasn't happening. But then she saw Daniel take his place at the alter, he looked nervous and kept straightening his tie. He looks over at her, by chance. Their eyes meet and everything screams at her to go to him and beg him to not do it. To not marry her. That he doesn't belong with her. Nolan put a hand on her shoulder. Their connection is lost.
"What?"
It came out as a whispered hiss.
"You were practically leaning into the aisle to get to him."
She doesn't respond to him, because she can't express to him everything she's thinking- everything she's feeling. She's thinking about how he should be waiting for her to walk down to him. How this should all be for them- her and Daniel. This should be their wedding. When Ashley starts walking down the aisle, she thinks about how it should be her and it should be Nolan walking with her. She watches as they join hands- It should be her. It repeats in her head over and over again. When the minister, pastor, whatever he is asks for objections every one looks at her, even Daniel. He's almost begging her to do it. But she can't. She isn't that brave. They say "I do" and then they kiss to seal their marriage and only one thing rings through her head.
It should be her.
The reception goes on. She's seated with Nolan and these other people who she doesn't care to socialize with. It doesn't even matter to her when Daniel and Ashley have their first dance. She's slumping in her chair, looking miserable. Nolan attempts to tell her to pull it together several times. She doesn't care. She doesn't care that Victoria is watching and is loving every moment of her sadness. It doesn't matter. Emily plans on destroying the bitch in a few months anyways. What does anything matter? She'll just destroy them all for her father and be done. It's the only way she'll make it.
At some point Nolan disappears, she figures he's off dancing somewhere. She's alone at the table and she truly doesn't mind. She finds herself alone often and she's long understood that is how she will be stuck. Forever alone. Because no one knows who she is, not even Nolan, not even Jack or Amanda, not even herself. Is she Amanda? Is she Emily? David Clarke's daughter? An orphan? Jack's childhood sweetheart? Daniel's ex-fiancé? So many things describe her, but none of them fit. She can't fit in anywhere. She doesn't belong anywhere anymore. A tap on the shoulder brings her out of her revere. She looks up and meets the eyes of her biggest weakness.
"Daniel."
His name slips off her lips in a whisper of surprise. Why isn't he with his bride?
"May I have this dance?"
She looks around, no one is watching, everyone is dancing. She looks to the hand he is holding out to his face which holds a smile. That charming smile that got her in trouble a year ago. That charming smile that forces her to grab his hand and allow him to lead her to the dance floor. They aren't awkward like she expected, instead she breathes him in, realizing that this is the last time it will be appropriate for her to be this close to him.
I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start
"How are you? I haven't talked to you in so long."
He whispers to her, his face is dangerously close to hers.
"I'm surprised I was invited. I didn't think Ashley would want me here."
"She didn't, but I had to see you."
You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I'm home
She wants to ask why he had to see her. Didn't he see her everyday? Didn't he stand on his mother's terrace and look down on her house? She saw him every morning when she went on her morning run. She purposely ran by his house in hopes of seeing him. She was going insane because of this boy. She thinks somehow he's gone back to his normal self.
"Why?"
She has to know. She can't just let all he's saying go, because everything he says in this moment will stay in her head forever. It will replay in her head during times of weakness when she believes she needs him again. She needs to know the reason why he just had to see her one last time.
How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown
"Honestly, I have no clue. I just had to. Mom was mad and so was Ash, but you being here. I needed to know that I made the right decision."
He ends in a whisper, but she hears him because they're so close even though he has to speak over the music and the crashing waves it doesn't matter. She believes she'd always hear him.
"Well did you?"
I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home
The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved
I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone
You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go...
"You remember how we met?"
"How could I forget? I spilled by drink on you and completely stained your jacket. I felt terrible."
"You remember how when I proposed I wore that jacket with the stains still on it?"
"What's the point of this, Daniel? Did you make the wrong decision? You should have just waited for me."
"I made the wrong decision, Ems. But I can't do anything. That's why I looked at you during the objections. Mom and dad forced me to do this. I didn't want it. I don't love Ashley, she's a good friend, but I don't love her."
Her plan to get revenge on his parents grows. They forced him to marry her, in process hurting them. It's their fault just like everything else is.
"I still have that jacket, Emily, I never got it dry cleaned. It still sits in the back of my closet, no one knows about it. I hide it, so that they won't send it to get it washed."
"Daniel…"
"I still have the jacket, Em."
She can't speak because she doesn't know what to say. He's married now, what can she do? There's nothing. Even if she knew with absolute certainty that she was in love with him, she couldn't do anything. She doesn't want to be 'the other woman'. If she could just get Ashley out of the way.
I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth
And I've never opened up
I've never truly loved 'til you put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
"I heard you, Daniel, believe me. I heard you."
"I still love you."
"I can't…"
I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home
Just like that the song ends and Ashley is there pulling him away from here. The scene seems so familiar to her. Her father was once pulled away from her as a child. Daniel is always being pulled from her too. Just like the night the cops came to arrest. Just like right before Tyler was murdered and he ran from her. Their entwined hands slowly lose contact of the other. Ashley drags him as far away as possible. And she's left standing in the middle of the dance floor wondering how she'll move on. Somehow his eyes meet hers and even if she doesn't mean it, she says it anyways, because this may be her last chance to ever say something to him again.
"I still love you too."
You put your arms around me and I'm home
A/N: Promised you it wasn't going to be in character. I don't know why I adore these two so much, but after their breakup I wanted to write a reflection piece and I think that is what this is. Hope you enjoyed!
