The Road to Chaos
Note to the viewer: I do not mean to offend anybody with the short rant below. Just something for you to read and laugh aloud at. That put aside, the rant.
(Note to the viewer. This is a poem. Please back away now. I know how much poems suck. I mean, this site has enough shitty authors as it is. And I'm no Robert Jordan myself, I know. But when you take in mind all of the shitty authors who post their stories and then add in all the shitiness that *are* poems, you're going to have a load of shitty poems. And what the fuck are poems, anyways? A bunch of words jumbled together to form a short story? I thought so. That retarded homeless guy I saw on the street could write better poems than I see at this site. I think my rant right here is far more entertaining than my story. In fact, f*ck it. No poem. Its just going to be a short story. About Garland. That's right, Garland. Not that Senior Citizen piece of shit from FF9. No. This is the FF1 Garland. The one you kill in 4 hits. You got a problem with it? Then hit the back button right now you pansy.)
That put aside, the story.
Those fools.........
The thoughts ran through the cloaked figure's mind as he walked through the dark desolate corridor. Although the torches that adorned the halls hadn't been lit in years, they still burned as boldly and as brightly as ever. The man that strolled through the halls had more on his mind than whether or not century-old oil could burn. His thoughts were focused on other things.They're all fools. From that lazy tub of lard of a king to his ugly wench of a wife.
He shook his fist at thin air, closing his eyes for a brief second. Ignorance had always annoyed him. From the incessant chuckling of the bumbling soldiers, to the King's denial of his military requests. Garland tried to focus his mind on something else, to prevent being driven insane, yet every thought that entered his mind seemed to revert back to the king."DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!" he shouted, his voice ringing through the corridors. It echoed a few times, before wearing down into nothingness. He had devoted his life to the Cornerian Military. There were people suffering in other lands. Towns without enough money to buy food. Cities stricken with disease and drought. He needed to expand the Cornerian borders to help those people. Even if it did result in war, the end would have justified the means. The man was convinced that the Cornerian way of life was the best, no matter what. Well, that is to say he was convinced. After speaking with the King that final time, however, he realized just how horrible a mistake it could have been. The Crown was corrupt. The only thing his world conquest in the name of Corneria would have resulted in was a world-wide political scandal.
That only left one goal in mind. Create his own army, and lead it across the world, unifying it in everlasting peace. The only question was, how would he achieve this army? Everyone knew the punishment for treason was death, and it didn't help any that the King paid so much lip service to the people. Nobody knew how corrupt the system was. And if they did know, a few gold coins were enough to keep their traps shut. Nobody knew how often the King and his advisors took bribes from the commonwealth. The only ones that did know were the ones who accepted them. It was a mockery of the crown. And the Warrior known as Garland, the strongest General in Cornerian Military History, couldn't stand for it.
But even if he could persuade he soldiers of Corneria to help him, they would provide little assistance. No true warriors existed in Corneria. The military were a bunch of drunken fools, paid to provide a false reassurance to the people that no harm would ever come to them. Garland long-awaited the time when war rose up once more. When they were forced to put down their bottles of rum, and pick up a weapon. And then they would put their very lives on the line in the name of their country.
Garland smashed his hand on the hard stone table. he had taken a seat to collect his thoughts. Fist clenched, he carefully began to contemplate a plan just so fiendishly clever enough that it would assure him victory no matter what the scenario. He had the outcome set as a goal awhile back, but the process of achieving that goal was so far out of the question that he dismissed it from his memory, until a time when it was deemed necessary, and possible.
He would kidnap the Cornerian Princess.
Long had the Princess been revered across the land for her beauty and grace. She was considered a greater National Treasure to the people than the entire reservoir of gold. If Garland could get his grasps on the heir to the throne, the Royal Family would have no choice but to bow down to him as their Master, even to the point of exchanging the Kingdom for their own daughter's life. As brilliant as this plan was, it still contained a few flaws.
The first, of course, was the fact that he wouldn't be able to get her out of the castle easily. There was no way he would be able to get past the entire Cornerian Military. Even if they posed no threat in small groups, Garland wasn't immune to an arrow to the heart. He would have to infiltrate the castle in the dead of night, create a diversion, and grab the Princess.
Then he would run faster than scared little forest imps. Garland shuddered at the thought. He knew no fears. None but....the forest imps. Wretched Creatures, their tiny faces and large number scared the sense out of Garland. He usually found it best to kill them immediately, before he had to look at them for too long.
Then there was the second flaw. Even if he managed to get her back to the Temple, there would be many attempts to rescue her. Cavalry after Cavalry, not to mention the hundreds of suitors interested in taking the Princess's hand in marriage. Yet they would find something more than a frightened man in a stone building.
They would find a God, with a legion of Horrors at his disposal.
Garland swished his cape into the air, pleased with the events of the past few minutes, and began preparation.
Nobody would stand in his way.
End.
(Author's Note: I borrowed a bit from other sources to litter my story (mainly 8-Bit Theater =P) but I think the overall product is quite good. If I get enough reviews, I may put up another chapter, but I ended this fic in the scenario that I don't.)
