Title: Trust
Author:Vona
Rating: PG
Pairing: J/A
Spoilers: For Jump.
Disclaimer: I still don't own them. I wish I could have Adam. Or the cute guy god.
Summary: Joan finally confides in Adam.
A.N. # 1: Thank you soooo much Ana for looking this over. You rock! Seriously. You make my stories better!
A.N. # 2: So, I'm still floating on cloud 9 about the Adam and Joan kiss. I actually wrote a happy, sappy fiction. It was such a nice surprise to see them kiss. I hadn't expected it to happen this early. I have all the warm and fuzzies after it. I even got this really hilarious image of Adam and Joan and Grace and Luke going on a double date. LOL. Wow. I'm in a great mood. Enjoy the story!
Trust
Joan was happy. She liked that feeling. For the first time since God had appeared to her, she felt like her life was in order. Of course, she wondered if that feeling could be from spending the evening in Adam's arms, watching a movie on the couch in her living room. It had been a week since the Science Fair, a week since she and Adam had shared their first kiss in a shower of grayish white feathers. That had been something for the movies, a great big finale to a tale of sadness and betrayal. She didn't mind the fairy tale ending, though. In fact, she preferred it to the misery she'd felt the last month when Adam wouldn't even look at her. Oh, how different that was now. He couldn't take his eyes off of her, not that she minded. She couldn't take her eyes off him. He was so-so-well, Adam. He still lived in his own little world, but she liked it that way. It almost made her feel less weird. And his Adam-sayings comforted her when she was annoyed, scared, tired, sad, or even happy. Cha. Yo. Unchallenged. Jane. She was Jane again. She was so immensely happy about that. She had missed being Jane. Who would have thought she would have missed the nickname? She remembered her heart breaking for the first time when he called her Joan. She'd felt so guilty and so alone then. But she was back to being Jane, and now she knew it was an endearment, not Adam's obliviousness, not that she would have objected even if it was.
She closed her eyes as the credits rolled over the screen; just enjoying the warmth Adam brought her. She'd never been that couple-y kind of girl. She always hated girls like that. Perhaps that was because she didn't have someone to be couple-y with. Now she did. She and Adam were practically inseparable now. Maybe that was making up for lost time. Whatever it was, she didn't care. She was happy. And she was pretty sure Adam was too. Joan felt a gentle kiss being pressed on the top of her head and she glanced up. Adam's gorgeous eyes were staring down at her with adoration.
"Whatcha thinkin' about, Jane?"
Joan smiled a bit and shrugged.
"Just about things."
"Good things?"
"You."
Adam grinned, a carefree grin he had never really had before. Joan hoped she brought him that peace. She wanted to bring him that peace, the same peace he had filled her with.
"Hopefully, I fall in the good category."
"Unchallenged." She said, using his word. Adam's grin spread wider as he tightened his hold on her.
They both stopped talking, each falling into their own reverie. It didn't matter if they didn't talk. They were comfortable. Adam tried to remember the last time he'd felt that content. He didn't think he ever had. Maybe he just didn't remember. He'd barely been thirteen when his mother had died, old enough to understand what would happen, young enough to wonder if it was all his fault. He'd never really gotten past it. He'd simply delved into his art and hadn't come back down to Earth. Until Jane had come into his life. Joan had sent him crashing into the atmosphere and he almost wished he could be a normal guy. Then, he might have had a chance with her. But she liked jocks, apparently, after that one conversation in Chemistry, so he knew he didn't have a chance. But they'd become better and better friends, until she destroyed his art. The developing friendship had come to a crashing halt, unfortunately. He wasn't bitter towards her anymore about it. It had destroyed him, smashed him into a million pieces like the sculpture, and he'd suddenly wanted to fly away from the world again. He didn't want to be hurt anymore. But he had finally accepted that Joan did things that he would never understand, things that had to do with that secret she had mentioned in the bookstore when she was going through that boat-building phase. He hoped that she would trust him enough to tell him someday, but he didn't know if she ever would. But he had trusted her with his secrets, so he could only hope that she would reciprocate. He had to admit, though, it was his curiosity getting the best of him. He'd never been able to forget that day that Joan had almost shared that secret. He'd always wondered, in the back of his mind, what it was. He didn't want to push her. He wanted her to feel safe with him, not threatened. All the same, he couldn't resist asking.
"Jane?"
"Mhm?"
"Do you remember that day in the bookstore?"
Joan's heart dropped. She knew what he was referring to, but she decided to play dumb. She didn't think it was time to tell him yet.
"What day?"
"When you were building your boat. I was trying to help you find out more about it. You said you had a secret that would be kind of unbelievable."
Joan sighed. She had known one day that topic would be brought up again. She had just hoped it would be along down the line.
"Yeah. I remember."
She didn't say anymore and Adam waited. And waited. Joan didn't reply.
Adam decided to prod on. "You know all of my secrets. You know my fears."
"You know my fears, too, Adam. Losing you. Koala bears in hats."
Adam chuckled. "Joan."
He was serious now. He rarely called her Joan.
"I want to know yours, Joan. I want you to trust me."
She clasped his hand, tangling their fingers together. Suddenly, she knew she could tell him. She had carried his burdens, like God had suggested. She still did. And now he wanted to return the favor.
She twisted around so she could face him.
"Adam, you have to promise not to laugh."
"I promise."
"And you have to promise not to tell."
"I promise."
"And you have to promise not to run out the door when I tell you."
Adam raised an eyebrow. "I promise."
Joan took a deep breath.
"Do you remember when you said you could talk to angels?"
"Yes."
"Well, I talk to God."
Adam cocked his head, trying to wrap his head around what she had just said.
"You talk to God."
"Yes."
"Like, Dear Lord, please help me with this Chemistry test?"
"No. Like, God, I wish You'd stop popping up in different bodies. Choose one and stick with it, so I don't have to wonder if it's You or not. And stop being so cryptic, God. Just tell me what to do in simple terms, not metaphors and suggestions."
Adam bit his lip, a little uncomfortable with the conversation. Of course, he had asked and he knew that Joan was a very complicated girl. In a way, it made sense, all her insane actions became understandable. In another way, he wondered if she was slightly insane, not just her actions. He wanted to ask her more. He was feeling immensely confused. It was just kind of hard for him to grasp. He didn't want to push her. He didn't want her to feel like he was forcing her to tell him. In time, maybe he would ask her more. Give her time to tell him more when she felt like telling him. Joan was watching him carefully, her eyes searching his face for any clue on his reaction.
"All right."
"All right? All right, get away from me you freak or all right, I believe you and don't want you committed to a loony bin?"
"The latter, Jane. I always knew you were special. Now it's unchallenged."
Joan's delighted giggle rang through the living room. She bent down to kiss him on the lips, relieved and ecstatic the secret was out. Adam pulled her back onto his chest, whispering in her ear.
"I trust you, Adam. I don't know why, exactly. I just knew that you would understand."
Adam stroked her long brown hair away from her face, then let his fingers run down her cheek. He opened his mouth to say something, but Helen Girardi's voice echoed in the hallway.
"Mother entering the room. Make sure you aren't doing something you shouldn't be."
Joan groaned. "That's gross, Mom."
Helen smiled. "I think it's time for you to go home, Adam. You do have school in the morning, as does Joan. You both need a good night's sleep and it's getting pretty late."
Adam didn't mind it when Helen said things like that. It made him feel safe and loved. Helen was like a stand-in mother to him now. She was such a nice woman and she reminded him of his own mother.
"All right, Mrs. Girardi." Adam slid out from underneath Joan before leaning in to kiss her once more.
"Good night, Jane."
He grabbed his jacket and smiled at Helen.
"Good night, Mrs. Girardi."
"Good night, Adam. We'll see you in the morning."
Yes, Adam did spend a lot of time at the Girardi house. Helen never minded, she sincerely liked Adam. Joan didn't mind because he was, after all, her boyfriend. And Adam didn't mind, because he no longer had breakfast alone. Adam disappeared though the doorway and Joan stood up sluggishly from the couch.
"I'm going to go on to bed, Mom. Night."
She kissed her mother's cheek and walked on up the stairs.
Joan was brushing her hair in the mirror when he appeared. God in his Cute Boy persona stood next to her, by the dresser. "Hello, Joan."
"Did You finally decide to stick to one body? That would be nice, you know, instead of making me play Guess Who?."
"And you say I'm the One who's snippy."
Joan put the brush down and turned towards him.
"Are You here…"
"Because you told Adam? Yes. I'm surprised you did."
"Why? Aren't
You omniscient?"
"You know what I mean, Joan."
"Come on, God. Even Joan of Arc
got to tell people."
"And she got burned at the stake."
Joan sighed and crossed her arms.
"Is that Your subtle way of telling me I shouldn't have told Adam?"
"No. Actually, it isn't. It's all right that you told him. Adam is a good boy. You've carried his burdens, just like I suggested you do. Now he gets to carry one of yours."
"You're calling Yourself a burden?"
God rolled his eyes. Joan wondered briefly if the persona he came in included the actions of someone that age.
"Joan, I'm trying to tell you that it's okay that you told Adam. I simply don't recommend you telling anyone else."
"I wasn't planning on it. I just needed to tell him."
"I understand that. Now, if I can make one more recommendation."
"Yes?"
"You should be in bed. It's 11:30 on a school night. And I don't want you griping when your alarm goes off about the lack of sleep you got. So I think you might want to go to bed in the near future."
Joan grunted. "Thanks. If You'd leave, I'd be able to."
God laughed delightedly at his special child. "Good night, Joan."
"Good night, God."
He slipped into the night as Joan snuggled into her covers. Helen peeked her head in.
"Did I hear you talking to someone, Sweetie?"
Joan opened her eyes once more. "I was talking to myself, Mom."
"Okay. Sweet
dreams."
"Night."
Helen shut the door and Joan fell into a deep sleep, the kind that came with wonderful dreams of Adam.
