A/N: The story developed from the quotation that I suddenly recalled and which you can see right below. At first it was meant to be just eventless&plotless musing about Elena and her home, but sometimes my stories don't behave and take their own direction :D And I'm quite glad with the direction this one "chose" - Elena acting on emotions is usually nice :) Since this story is already not the way I planned - I'm open to your constructive criticism and perhaps even suggestions - though it's initially meant to be one-shot. Have a nice reading and thanks for stopping by :)
"Home isn't always a place. It can be a person" ("Xena, the Warrios Princess")
She didn't know where her home was anymore.
These thougts had been occupying her mind since Jeremy's departure. The notion of home. Home is what you believe to be your place in life. Home is where you belong.
The easiest answer was "Mystic Falls". Elena had spent her entire life here. Here she'd had her first breath, first step, first kiss. Here she'd fallen in love, and here she'd had her heart broken. Here she'd learned to forgive and to trust. However, Elena couldn't call the town home. Not after it took so many people away from her. Not after everything she'd had to face. If she considered it home, she'd probably go insane. She'd learned to consider it nothing more than a place which suffered only because she lived there and paid her with just as much pain.
Her house barely felt like home. It hurt her to stay there now. Her parents and Jenna who she'd lost hadn't really disappeared – they lived in her memories, filling her with sorrow and guilt. Now that Jeremy had left as well, the building lost the last traces of what could make her feel like home. Happy and unhappy days mixed in her mind, especially those of the last year. How Stefan would come and make her heart leap with joy. How he nearly failed to restrain himself for the first time and lied about human blood. How she found herself standing in her room with her necklace around her neck and a faintly familiar scent of cologne in the air…
Stefan was also someone she used to consider her home. He was cozy and familiar, like an old pillow that feels so natural you don't even know what you would do without it. "Used to" was the key point. Not after that autumn.
The autumn had been crazy. Looking for someone who didn't want to be found, fighting for someone who wasn't worth the fight, pining away for someone who'd just risked her life and hurt her in the worst way she could think of. In such a way that she actually hadn't ever thought he could be like this.
Elena could forgive him for the hurt under compulsion. She could forgive him for leaving when he'd been freed from compulsion: she understood he must've been confused. She even could forgive him for not caring for Jeremy's destiny, but that's where her patience was up. It was enough.
Now that he'd made one of her worst nightmares come true, Elena just refused to deal with it. He had taken away everything she'd been holding on to – the gratitude for saving her from the car accident, the knowledge he would never take the choice away from her, the loyalty she had learned to use as an excuse even in her mind – and replaced it all with crashing fear that she'd never felt before. She could expect Isobel, Katherine or Klaus to do something like that. But not Stefan.
Was there not a single person who could be her home unconditionally? Without any dependence on either supernatural or human problems?
Elena stood up as if something dawned upon her. She grabbed her bag and keys. Nearly running to her car, Elena got inside, started it and sped in a very familiar direction. It didn't take her much time to reach her destination – she knew the way so well she could probably drive with her eyes closed.
She didn't even think of knocking at first – it surprised her pleasantly when she realized it. He wasn't in the parlor, and she couldn't be more okay with that. He would be difficult while drinking. Elena didn't want him to be difficult – not now, she begged quietly.
She walked upstairs, knowing very well that he could probably hear her every step and maybe even every breath. She hung her jacket on the railing on the way. Elena hesitated for a moment before crossing the corridor and stopping right in front of the door. This was a one-way ticket. Every time she'd been in this room something life-changing had happened. She had more than enough reasons to have second thoughts – she just didn't want to think of those reasons.
Taking a deep breath, Elena opened the door.
He was lying on the bed, having only a blanket to cover his body below waist. He was staring at the ceiling, but in a moment he averted his eyes from it and looked at her.
"Elena" he acknowledged her presence.
"Damon… Hey"
She was very aware that he could hear not just her words, but also her wild pulse and ragged breathing. Using all the courage she'd been able to muster, she came up to him and sat down on the side of the bed that he wasn't occupying.
"As much as I'm enjoying the sight…" he trailed off suggestively as she realized all of a sudden that she was still wearing her PJ's, and that definitely wasn't the most decent set. "… what are you doing here?"
Elena didn't answer at all. She just lay down and made herself comfortable. She could clearly see surprise through his usual smirk. Then he sounded worried.
"Are you fine? Is there anything you need?"
She opened her mouth to say something, but she still couldn't bring herself to utter a single word. Instead, Elena reached out to the bedside table and switched off the stand lamp. She shifted closer to him, laid her head on his shoulder and her palm somehow ended up on his chest. He didn't say anything else, she could only feel him stiffen for a brief moment and then relax, as he wrapped his arm around her body.
"Home" she finally answered his question. "I need to feel home" she repeated before closing her eyes and soon drifting off, listening to the quiet sound of his breathing.
You know what to do with that cute blue button below, right?
And the last thing I want to tell you - thanks to everyone who read/is going to read or reviewed/is going to review any of my stories. Thanks also for all the faves. It is very important for me that someone likes my work!
Yen.
