It was fast isn't it?
Well there will be no update for a long time after this I ensure you..
Don't blame me, I'm currently re-obsessed with Rectoverso because my previous fanfic.
This time it's from the song "Only a Hint" I don't like the song but the short story is sad..
And somehow fitted...
Why do I write these depressing and gloomy stories anyway? Duh... think of it as a practice of penmanship.
It's not like I hate happy endings!
Hmm by the timeline it's definitely before "I'm here"...
The bolded and italic txt are the lyrics of the song that translated into english and in this fic it's not in order.. because as I stated before the song is weirrddd (but I still love dee)
The bolded is from the short story
...
The moment I know that I'm falling in love
That time I realized only his back that I can reach.
They say that people who doesn't know what they don't have is a happy ones.
As their family is poor, my friend's family was only able to buy the chicken's back. Only the back, so that in my friend 's mind, chicken only consist of it's back, only the back that become his definition of a chicken.
I might be passive, but I'm not stupid.
I've knew it since my childhood, that his back isn't all of him.
And do I care?
That person isn't a topic. He's a goal, my reason to stay.
I never dared to imagine what will become of me without him and feels more comfortable that way. And so, I do my best to forget my life before I met him. Right now, he's all of my world and let it be unchanged.
I'm enjoying myself become a background as I watch him over.He, for whom Iyearn the most, ut not in this distance. In this dim lights and twinkling decorations, I cannot determine whether his eyes are green or light brown.
Up until now, I've been doing my best as a background, watching all foolishness that he constantly made, Ensure that I'm always there whenever his situation is bad or keep an eye of everything around him. It might seem strange for some people that I seems to have no ambition. But for me it's the best option. If you're not capable of, don't tempt yourself... as a wise would say.
And that's all how I can do.
To feel you
To love you
Kindness is painful, while indifference is even more and thus I choose the first option.
I have falling in love. But that person, I can reach only his back
Someone that only his shadow I can appreciate and will never I own of his everything.
Someone that come in a flash like a falling star, vanished from the eyesight before these hands could chase it.
I never asked for his love. And even if I was given one, I will never ask for more. I never tried to see the part of him that I don't need to, as I'm afraid that this yearning would grow and spread like a plague. Rather than given love, I rather wished that he never see me as a person. It's better for me if my existence only become a blurred background and anonymous faces, that way it's easier to watch him over without feel rightful over it.
(feel it)
the hints that you can reach,
no need for you to touch
(feel it) hopes, dreams
That life only for a brink
(feel it) the sky, the rain.
The warm beats of my breath
The moment I realized that I was falling in love, I wept.
As I know that I won't able to extend my hand and call him
As I know the moment my feelings get returned I would burn and shatter as the more I will lament on the fact that it's unreachable.
My friend was a happy person. He didn't have to mourn over the other parts of the chicken that he will never able to put his hands on. And then, I arrive at the part where I was falling in love. But that person I can only reach his back and his back only.
I don't need affection or attention. My heart isn't that big for two of us reside. Therefore, myself and all the greed inside have to go away to be buried under the pile of daily needs.
I know that I love him, and that fact alone is enough as I don't wish to get loved back. So I step back to the background and smile. Occasionally he will glanced behind and smiled back, and at the moment I know that I'm loved more than anything that I ever asked.
(feel it)
The hints that you able to catch,
No need for me to say
(feel it) water, wind
Moon, stars,
Night breeze,
Space, time, poems..
With restrained tears and flipped smile I recognize his eyes.
That time I become a victor, but all I wanted is stepping back to my corner and blurred into background behind the twinkling lights. I drank the prize that I don't need and ask him to turn on the lights again. He should come back become some shape of a back that I can only feel. I've already got what I wanted to know.
Those eyes are light brown
Those eyes are light brown
