This story was written by Jim Lazar I am posting it because there is no other easily available website that this story can be read on. If the author of this story wishes to talk to me about the posting of it, contact me using the email in my profile.
[Excerpt from 'Shadow Temporal Alternate Universe Theory 101' by J. D. Peabody R.S.G.]
Everyone's life has certain events that shape their future. Each of these events creates an alternate universe depending on the outcome of that event, each universe diverging from it's branch point. These branch or divergence points are called a 'nexus'.
For instance: At a corner you can turn either left or right. In one universe, you turn left, in the other you turn right. Events after that point diverge until they can become so different that you cannot tell they ever shared a common starting nexus. Which one is real? Well, maybe they both are.
So this leads us to infinite possible universes, even for a single person. What happens when people try to leave their own universes and go to another? Besides making for some wild science fiction plots, realities can get tangled and branch off in even more directions.
Temporal knots can also form that lock in certain probable outcomes in a person's life, some people call this destiny. Some people try to avoid these 'destinies'; others embrace them. Some do both, leading to even more knots.
Given the infinite universes, it's a given that all possible outcomes will eventually happen to all people in some universe, somewhere. Well, unless something is destined to happen...
[End excerpt]
Ranma - The Destiny of Shadows
Ranma 1/2 characters and situations created by Rumiko Takahashi, used
without permission
Ranma 1/2 Copyright by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakan Inc., Kitty, Fuji,
Viz Communications, etc...
Ranma - The Destiny of Shadows story created, written, and Copyright
1998 by Jim Lazar
Speech text in angle brackets are thought by character.
All other speech is in Japanese, although written in English in this
story of course.
Some Japanese words that appear in this story:
Baka = stupid, idiot, jerk (take your pick, they all apply to Ranma
sometimes)
Note: Some text in this story is formatted and is best viewed in a
mono-spaced font (such as Courier).
It was dark, very dark. The only point of light in the huge cavern, that some called the Shadow Realm, was a large curved video screen that hovered, unsupported over the single cloaked Shadow. Large was of course relative. In this case, the curved video screen was roughly the size of the asteroid that destroyed the planet Earth in the year 2001... in one universe at least.
However, since the cavern itself was infinitely big and had no end, the video screen was actually rather small in comparison. The cloaked Shadow, even smaller. Only the screen's light spreading across the dark floor even showed that there was a floor, of sorts, there.
The Shadow's cloak was even darker than the space around her, just a hint of a line could be seen where the cloak ended and the vast background began. A faint image of her face could be seen under her hood of her cloak; it was probably a human face, but it's impossible to tell for sure. The Shadow was sitting back, maybe on something that could be called a chair, and examined the display on the video screen.
The screen showed a vast number of multi-colored horizontal lines, many branched off from larger 'master' lines. It resembled what scientists use to illustrate a theory called evolution. Some lines stopped abruptly, some lines crossed back and forth between different colored lines, and even more were intertwined, maybe even knotted. Identifying labels and numbers were spread over the whole screen, they constantly updated themselves as the multiple universes began, ended, and changed. Such was the nature of alternate universes.
The Shadow looked down and let her hands flow over the glowing control pad that hung, unaided, in front of her. The image on the video screen paned and zoomed in on a particular universe's 'timeline'.
"Okay, now what are you up to?" a female voice asked from behind the Shadow.
"Just checking that universe we found and monitored yesterday," the first Shadow replied, also in a female voice. She adjusted some controls.
Shadow-B appeared out of the vast darkness and stood next to Shadow-A, she was dressed in the same type of blacker-than-black cloak as Shadow-A was. "Why? That one ended, as far as our bet is concerned, when that universe's Ranma died; along with most of his friends and family. In some rather troubling ways, if I do say so myself," Shadow-B grimaced as she remembered Ukyo's fate.
"Nope, he's back," Shadow-A declared.
"What? How can he be back?"
"Looks like he got resurrected about a hundred years after he died, by Shampoo," Shadow-A explained.
"Resurrected? Damn! Don't tell me he ends up with Shampoo in that universe?" Shadow-B asked. Well, actually that would give me a score, so it's not that bad, the Shadow reminded herself.
"Nope, didn't go for little old ladies, I guess. He actually ended up with the ghost of Akane," Shadow-A laughed.
"The ghost of Akane? The poor guy can't even die and avoid his destiny," Shadow-B exhaled, with a sigh. She then stared at the large video screen. "Looks like there are Reality Jumpers already interacting with that universe, probably get a few knots in that timeline soon."
"Well that's the nature of alternate universes, always seem to have someone looking to see what might have been. That is what we're doing too, idiot!" Shadow-A reminded the other Shadow. "Anyway, nothing too special about this one, he died in an untold number of other universes too, you know!".
"I know, but don't recall him ever coming back to life. Even that one where he fell of the cliff and ended up as fish food! As SEVERAL fishes food, actually," Shadow-B remembered. "You know... Since he died, I don't think this universe should count towards our bet."
"On the surface, but you know the rules of the bet we made," Shadow-A said. Then as if quoting, she recited, "If we can find or make one million universes where Ranma and Akane marry each other, their FIRST marriage of course, before we reach one thousand universes where they don't get married, barring the death of one or both of them before they make their choice of course, then you..."
Interrupting angrily, Shadow-B said, "Ya, ya. I know. No need to repeat it over and over! But, about the 'barring the death' part... I think that applies here, don't you?"
"On the surface, but since he came back to life that universe never really ended as far as our bet is concerned," Shadow-A asserted, smugly. "And since even DEATH didn't keep them apart that is plus one for the 'Ranma and Akane' tally,' Shadow-A smirked.
"Damn, that's not fair," Shadow-B grumbled. I guess we never really considered resurrection when we made the bet, hard for 'Eternal' beings to think about that kind of stuff..
"All's fair in universal roulette! I ran it by the judge and she said that it's a valid universe since they did have a wedding within the ten year period after Ranma came back to life. She ruled that the hundred years he spent dead shouldn't count. She may still be mad for you waking her up the other night about the Girl-Ranma and Soun marriage." Shadow-A informed her, not hiding the amusement she felt. She glanced at the scoreboard and verified that it had incremented by
one. "One more tally point for me! We may even finish the bet today. Want to concede now?" Shadow-A asked.
"Not on your life, we can always have a surge of universes where Ranma and Ukyo end up together!" Shadow-B screamed.
"You really need to get over your Ranma and Ukyo fixation! You took her death in that last universe badly. You'd have a better chance of Kuno putting you over the top. Look at the scoreboard already andgive it up!" Shadow-A yelled, pointed to the smaller (since it was only the height of the Tokyo Tower) video scoreboard which hung to one side of them. It read as follows:
Boy-Ranma and Girl-Akane Tally ... = 0,999,999
To go = 0,000,001
Other Pairings Tally
Girl-Ranma and Kuno ... = 0,284
Boy-Ranma and Kasumi ... = 0,201
Boy-Ranma and Ukyo ... = 0,198
Boy-Ranma and Nabiki ... = 0,082
Boy-Ranma and Akane/Ukyo ... = 0,043
Boy-Ranma and Girl-Ranma ... = 0,035
Boy-Ranma and Shampoo ... = 0,029
Girl-Ranma and Akane ... = 0,019
Ranma and Kentaro ... = 0,007
Girl-Ranma and Ryoga ... = 0,005
Girl-Ranma and Boy-Ukyo ... = 0,003
Boy-Ranma and Nabiki/Akane/Kasumi ... = 0,003
Boy-Ranma and Miss Hinako ... = 0,002
Boy-Ranma and Akane's Mother ... = 0,001
Boy-Ranma and Akane/Ukyo/Shampoo/Kodachi/Lum = 0,001
Boy-Ranma and Cologne ... = 0,001
Boy-Ranma and Duck ... = 0,001
Boy-Ranma and Girl-Ryoga ... = 0,001
Boy-Ranma and Jennifer ... = 0,001
Boy-Ranma and Katrina ... = 0,001
Boy-Ranma and Kodachi ... = 0,001
Boy-Ranma and Kaori Daikoku ... = 0,001
Boy-Ranma and Kuno ... = 0,001
Boy-Ranma and Marilyn Monroe ... = 0,001
Boy-Ranma and the entire female Freshmen class of Furinkan High ... = 0,001
Boy-Ranma and the entire St. Bacchus Rythmic Gymnastics Team including Kodachi ... = 0,001
Girl-Ranma and Boy-Akane ... = 0,001
Girl-Ranma and Moose ... = 0,001
Girl-Ranma and Soun ... = 0,001
Girl-Ranma and Happosai ... = -0,001
Total = 0,926
To go = 0,074
"I can't believe that 284 for Girl-Ranma and Kuno, I still think you fixed those universes," Shadow-B muttered, shook her head and held back her stomach contents.
"Hey, some of those were in universes YOU created! No fair blaming me!" Shadow-A yelled back at the other Shadow. "And they count in your favor anyway!"
"Fine... Fine... Okay, well it's my turn to create an universe today... Let me think," Shadow-B announced and then started to examine the large screen. She put out her hands and a control pad appeared under her fingers. She made several entries, then the 'timeline' display scrolled and rotated, she zoomed in on several closely grouped lines and then paned some more. Suddenly Shadow-A started to chuckle. "What's so funny?" Shadow-B asked, irritated.
"Oh, just remembering that universe were Ranma and Akane ended up being born to different parents and still ended up together," Shadow-A laughed.
"Don't remind me, that's one of the universes I created! If only you'd have let me make them a real brother and sister it would have ended up different!" Shadow-B exclaimed. Maybe... there was that one that we found randomly that had Ranma and Akane being identical twins, that was one sick family.
"You know that's against the rules, you can't make them part of the same biological family," Shadow-A informed her.
"Ya, I know, but it would have been interesting if they still got together anyway," Shadow-B imagined and then suddenly cried out, "Ah ha!"
"What?"
"I think I've decided what I want to change. Here, look..." Shadow-B explained and then made some final adjustments to her control pad.
"Really? For what is likely to be the last universe of our bet, THAT is all you're going to do," Shadow-A said, in disbelief.
"Well, the last time I made a change similar to that, Ranma ended up with all three Tendo sisters," Shadow-B smiled, as she remembered that foursome.
"Just be glad I let you have all the universes that Ranma andAkane got married in something other than their original sexes or in groups. Otherwise, you'd have lost already," Shadow-A taunted.
"Your generosity fills my heart with warmth," Shadow-B said, mockingly. She then scowled at Shadow-A.
"Well, okay then, make your change and let's watch how they get together in this universe," Shadow-A told the other Shadow, confident of the outcome.
Shadow-B taped a large button on the control-pad marked 'Alternate Universe Engage' which was right under the 'Alternate Universe Go Boom Now' button, then exclaimed, "Okay, here goes nothing!" A chair appeared under Shadow-B as she laid back and watched the large screen.
On the screen a small line angled off from one of the main lines and then started to move horizontally as a new universe was label read 'Universe number 22576617/98-RANMA-DX76/S1'.
"Popcorn?" Shadow-A offered, holding out a bowl of popcorn to Shadow-B.
"Sure, got any soda?" Shadow-B replied.
The cloudy skies of Nerima had just stopped pouring water onto the streets below. A shaft of sunlight broke through the clouds and illuminated a teenage Japanese boy who wore a red Chinese shirt. The boy leapt out of a side alley and took up a ready position against an
unseen enemy. A battered kettle crashed onto the street in front of the boy, it's steaming contents flowed down a sewer grate.
"Yo, cut that out! Pop!" the boy yelled. Just then, a large panda flew out of the ally and the two traded many hard kicks and punches. They each mostly avoided each other's blows until the boy made hard contact with the panda's stomach with one of his kicks. The panda was sent flying into a concrete wall, knocking down a street sign in the process. The panda scared off some pedestrians who were a little too curious for the panda's liking. The panda charged the boy and threw many fast punches at him.
"Well I still say," the boy shouted, as he ducked the panda's blows. "This whole thing sucks! Picking my fiancee for me!" Then the boy managed to grab one of the panda's paws and tossed him over his back. "Without even asking!" he finished, as the panda appeared to be defeated. "I'm going to go find my Mother! By the way, you should at least find some more hot water before you go see your old friend, idiot!" he said then flipped his pig-tail back over his shoulder. He turned around and started walking away from the panda.
Suddenly a street sign hit the boy over the head. The panda dropped the aforementioned, after he looked at it thoughtfully for a second. The panda then picked up the unconscious boy and slung him over his shoulder. The panda growled at some more nosey pedestrians and then walked off into the sunset with the boy. Make that sunrise.
At the Tendo household, Soun Tendo had called his lovely daughters together for a family meeting. Kasumi was already kneeling at the table as Nabiki and Akane came in and kneeled across from their Father. Akane seemed to have just finished exercising and was wiping sweat off her forehead. She also seemed to be a little angry, which was normal for her.
"I have good news! Today, one of you will meet your fiancee!" Soun announced with a big smile plastered across his rugged face.
"Fiancee?" Kasumi inquired. Nabiki was amused, maybe even intrigued, at the idea. Akane was suddenly very angry. A normal day at the Tendo house.
"Yes. The son of a very good friend of mine," Soun informed them. "His name is Ranma Saotome. If one of you three girls were to marry him and carry on this training hall then the Tendo family legacy would be secure."
"Hey! Wait a minute here!" Akane yelled, quite agitated. "Don't we get to have some say in who we marry?"
"Maybe you should wait until you meet him, you never know he might be really cute," Nabiki chided her younger sister. "Right Daddy?"
Soun chuckled to himself, then grew serious. "He'll be here any minute," Soun declared, then rose to his feet. "Ranma and his father have been on a training voyage. Recently they crossed nto China."
"Wow! China!" Nabiki exclaimed.
"So, he hiked all the way to China! Big Deal!" Akane exclaimed. Then remembering that China was pretty big AND also across the sea from Japan, she thought, Well, if he actually hiked across the water, I'll marry him. On second thought, I've never been that religious...
"Father, how old is this Ranma?" Kasumi questioned.
"Is he cute?" Nabiki hoped.
"Younger men are so... young," Kasumi remarked.
"I don't know," Soun replied to all the questions.
"You don't know?" Nabiki remarked.
"I've never met him," he conceded.
Both Kasumi and Nabiki looked a little shocked at their Father. Akane was near to killing her Father.
Suddenly they were interrupted by a cry from outside. "Leggo, y' ol' fool!"
"Sounds like we have visitors!" Kasumi noticed, then stood up.
"Oooooo! It must be Ranma!" Nabiki smiled. She got up and ran towards the front door. Soun followed right behind her.
Kasumi and Akane waited at the end of the hallway, both with troubled looks on their faces. A startled scream from Nabiki rang out and then Nabiki and Soun ran back down the hall, with a ook of terror plastered across their faces.
"Hey! Pop! You're scaring 'em spit-less!" Ranma yelled, as he came around the corner draped over the panda's shoulder.
"So Father, this is your friend?" Kasumi inquired. Soun vigorously shook his head no.
"Oh, so this panda just decided to drop in? Is that it, huh?" Nabiki suggested. Soun again shook his head no.
The panda set Ranma down in front of him and nudged him forward a bit.
"You... wouldn't be..." Soun began.
"I'm Ranma Saotome," Ranma said, then sadly added, "Sorry about this."
"At last! You're here!" Soun exclaimed and then hugged Ranma closely. "I'm so glad you're here!"
"Oh, he is cute!" Nabiki appraised him. Not bad at all. Good potential to make the girls at school jealous. I wonder how much money his family has? Nabiki summed him up in her mental spreadsheet.
Oh dear, he's so young, Kasumi thought.
Akane was still angry. So what if he's cute! Big deal! Bet I could beat him up easily! Akane thought, then glared at Ranma.
"Well, then Ranma, let's go in and introduce you to my daughters so you can choose one for your fiancee," Soun invited. He started to lead Ranma into the dinning room.
"Um, about the panda..." Ranma started to explain.
"Oh, your pet is welcome in my house!" Soun responded. The panda seemed to be miffed at being called a 'pet'. "We were only expecting you and your Father, so we were just a little surprised. Where is Genma anyway?" Soun questioned.
Ranma just sighed and followed Soun into the house.
A little later, the Tendo sisters were all kneeling across the table from Ranma and the panda. Soun was by his daughters' side. "Now then, this is my oldest daughter, Kasumi. She's 19," Soun indicated Kasumi. "This is Nabiki, age 17. And my youngest is little Akane here, she's 16. I'm sure any of them would make you a wonderful wife." Akane flinched at the mention of the word 'wife'.
They all exchanged polite greetings, well Akane's greeting was a little gruff. "I'm... pleased to meet you all, please don't hold my Father against me," Ranma pleaded.
"Only if you don't hold OUR Father against us!" Nabiki quipped. This earned a little smile from Ranma.
"Nabiki, that is no way to talk about our Father," Kasumi scolded, in a motherly tone.
"Sorry, sis," Nabiki apologized.
"Now then, Ranma, which of my lovely daughters would you like to marry?" Soun invited Ranma to choose.
Ranma was suddenly blushing and nervous. "Um, well..." Ranma began as he looked at each of the three girls in front of him. Gee, they are all so beautiful, he thought, then said out loud, "Mr. Tendo, I will honor my families agreement to marry one of..."
Interrupting Ranma, Nabiki suggested, "Daddy! You should at least give him a chance to get to know us before you force him too choose." Then she thought to herself, And that'll give me time to get a credit report on his family, maybe even see if he has a personality I can stand.
"Yes, Nabiki, I image that would be wise," Soun conceded and then turned to Ranma. "Now what was this about your father?"
"Well, I just need that hot water I mentioned and I'll show you," Ranma explained.
"Oh, the hot water must be ready by now," Kasumi remembered. She got up and went into the kitchen. She came back with a steaming kettle and handed it to Ranma.
"Thank you," Ranma said, taking the kettle. He then tossed some clothes from his backpack at the panda and then proceeded to pour the hot water over the panda.
"What are..." Soun exclaimed and then stopped suddenly when he saw the panda transform into his oldest friend, Genma Saotome.
"Oh my!" Kasumi uttered. Akane and Nabiki were equally shocked at this transformation, although they showed it more than Kasumi did. They picked their jaws up off the floor slowly.
"The water doesn't need to be that hot, Ranma," a steaming Genma insisted. Ranma just grinned.
"Saotome?" Soun stuttered.
As he put his glasses on and straightened his gi, Genma admitted, "Yes, I am the panda." He looked down at the floor, troubled.
"So, you're half panda too, Ranma?" Kasumi wondered.
"No! It's a long story that began when the furball here-" Ranma insisted and indicated his father, "-decided to do some training at the famous Jusenkyo training grounds in China..."
Later still, Soun was in tears and sobbed on his friend Genma's shoulder, not quite producing enough water to cause him to transform. The Tendo sisters all had amazed looks on their faces.
"So, when he's hit by cold water he transforms into a panda and hot water turns him human again," Ranma finished his explanation. He then just looked down at his hands. "My Father's a panda! How embarrassing!"
"Oh, that's such a terrible story, but at least you didn't get cursed as well, Ranma," Kasumi brought to light.
"Ya, like I'm dumb enough to fall in a cursed spring like my stupid furball of a Father!" Ranma insisted softly, glaring at his father.
"Quiet boy! Respect your Father!" Genma demanded and was promptly thrown into the koi pond by Ranma. The panda rose from the water, with an angry look on his snout.
"Respect a panda? I don't think so. I've seen you cleaning fleas out of your fur! Hard to respect anyone after that!" Ranma shouted. This earned smiles and laughs out of everyone at the table, even Akane was amused, despite herself.
As the sun set, Ranma was in the Tendo dojo exercising. He did some flips and swings, not noticing when Akane came into the dojo in her gi. Akane paused when she saw Ranma practicing. Oh, great now I'm going to have to share my dojo with this muscle-bound jerk, Akane thought. "Excuse me, but I'd like to use MY dojo!" Akane barked.
"Oh. Hi Akane!" Ranma greeted the youngest Tendo sister. "I can do my exercises later..."
"Well, thank you very much!" Akane snapped.
Ranma was taken aback, so asked, "Err, sorry... Are you always this angry?"
Akane realized she may have been out of line and apologized, "I'm sorry, I guess I'm just a little miffed that my Father setup this stupid engagement." Then she added softly, "And gave away my dojo to some stranger."
"Um, I'm sorry about that too," Ranma said, sadly. "My Father has always seemed to get me into the middle of his schemes. I really don't want your dojo, that's my Father's plan. I just want to continue to improve my martial arts skills."
"So you aren't going to marry any of us?" Akane hoped.
"Well, I can't avoid a honorable agreement made by my family. My mother agreed to this as well, you see." Or so my Pop says, he reminded himself. "But, I assure you I'm not after the dojo," Ranma insisted.
"In that case, I think Nabiki kind of likes you. She says you're cute," Akane stated, trying to push Ranma and Nabiki together.
Ranma blushed, then said, "Well, we'll see."
"Hey, for a boy you're not too bad," Akane conceded. Looks like I can get Nabiki to take this macho jerk off my hands. She grinned a bit.
"Gee, thanks... I think," Ranma replied.
"Well, tell you what, we can both use MY dojo together, want to spar with me?" Akane invited, with a bigger grin.
"Um, I don't fight with girls," Ranma admitted. Gee, she's real cute when she smiles. Nope, not going to think like that.
"Afraid I'll beat ya?" Akane taunted him. Bet he's just a beginner like all those idiots at school. Although... he did throw his Father pretty easily into the pond, she pondered.
"Okay, I'll spar with you, but don't expect me to hit you," Ranma accepted, as his pride was challenged.
"Oh, you won't," Akane stated, matter-of-factly, then grinned.
Ranma walked to the center of the dojo and took off his shirt, revealing his muscle T-shirt underneath. Akane got into her ready position across from him. Gee, does he think that I'm going to get all mushy by showing off his chest? Akane mulled.
Akane attacked first, a left jab followed by a right kick. Ranma avoided each. Then she followed with more punches and kicks, he avoided them all, he even flipped up and over Akane once. Is he reading my moves? Akane thought. More swings and misses followed. "Hey! Come on swing at me!" Akane yelled.
"I said I don't hit girls!" Ranma explained again, as he dodged another kick. Then Akane lunged in anger at Ranma, who leapt upwards, forcing Akane to hit the dojo's wall with her fist. Ranma landed behind Akane and taped her on the back of her head.
Damn, he's pretty good, Akane thought to herself. "You could have at least tried to fight me!" she yelled.
"Well you still got your workout, didn't ya?" Ranma suggested, unsure of why Akane is so mad.
"Boys!" Akane screamed and left the dojo. A confused Ranma watched her go.
After dinner, Ranma came into the kitchen while Kasumi was doing the dishes. "Um, Miss Kasumi? Can I talk to you a second?" Ranma asked,
awkwardly.
"Sure, Ranma, what is?" Kasumi responded, wiping her hands dry. Oh I hope he hasn't fallen in love with me, he's so much younger than... Kasumi thought, but the thought was interrupted by Ranma.
"Do you want to marry me?" Ranma asked shyly.
"Oh, this is so sudden, Ranma I think you should think more about your decision, " Kasumi intoned. I knew I shouldn't have given him that extra helping at dinner.
"Opps... Sorry. I wasn't really asking you marry me, I just wanted to know how you felt. It just seems that you'd be more interested in someone older than you. The way you cook I'm sure you must have a lot of suitors already," Ranma explained.
"Well, that's nice of you to say that, Ranma. I must say I do think Nabiki would make a better choice for you," Kasumi said, relieved, then added as an afterthought, "or Akane."
"I'm glad you understand," Ranma grinned. Why do they keep trying to push Nabiki on me? What's wrong with her? he pondered.
"Hi, Nabiki what's up?" Ranma said, and sat down next to her in the living room.
"Just doing some homework," Nabiki said, sitting up.
"So, uh... what do you do for fun around here?" Ranma asked, shyly.
He's a little transparent. This has to be his 'get to know the girls' technique. Time for me to be charming, Nabiki thought. "Watch TV, read, go to the park, movies, make out with cute boys, the usual," Nabiki responded, with a smile-a charming smile. And make some profit, but he doesn't need to know that.
"You do martial arts?" Ranma asked. Make out? She's pretty direct.
"Not really... I workout with Akane sometimes, but she's the tomboy in the family," Nabiki replied.
"You think so? She seemed okay to me," Ranma asserted. A bit angry though.
"Well, she's never seems to care about dating or boys in general. She has half the guys at Furinkan High chasing her, she thinks that's a bad thing," Nabiki explained.
"Really?" Ranma asked. Half the guys? Must be something they know about her that I don't.
"Yup, I don't know why. You'll probably like it around here, lots to do and see," Nabiki offered. "Although life in the suburbs probably won't be as exciting as life on the road."
"Well, anywhere I can stay in one place for a while will be a nice change for me," Ranma said. She seems to be talking about Akane more than herself. I wonder why?
Back in the Shadow-Realm, Shadow-B smiled, then asserted, "Looks like Nabiki is the winner in this universe."
With a dark frown, Shadow-A disagreed, "Maybe, but it doesn't count until he chooses his fiancee and then they get married within ten years." Wish we could tap in and hear what they are thinking, would make it easier for me to determine how it's going for Ranma and Akane, she wished.
"I know, I insisted on that rule addition after Ranma and Akane got engaged, but never got married," Shadow-B reminded her. "That wouldn't be that bad, but then they ended up being immortal in that universe!" Shadow-B exclaimed.
"Well, we could have waited for them to finally confess their love and get married in that universe," Shadow-A explained.
"We may be ETERNAL Shadows, but I didn't really want to watch them bicker and fight for all eternity like that!" Shadow-B cringed. "We didn't have the fast forward control back then, you know!"
"Ya I checked that universe this morning too. Twenty-three hundred millennium and still arguing," Shadow-A mentioned, then said, "Anyway, let's see how the current universe comes out. I still think Akane will be the one, she hasn't even hit him yet. In most universes, Akane has already clobbered him at least twice by this point. Heck in one, she just beat him to death within seconds of meeting the male Ranma!"
"Yes and SOMEHOW they still end up together in most of them," Shadow-B sighed. Well, not n that last one she mentioned.
Shadow-A released the shuttle control. She then said, "Okay, they're awake now, lets see what happens."
Shadow-B stuffed a whole okonomiyaki down her mouth and then looked up at the screen.
The next morning Genma and Ranma were working out in the garden when Kasumi brought out breakfast.
"Why do they have to work out in the garden? What's wrong with the dojo?" Akane questioned, as she knelt by the table.
"Well, Saotome said that their flying attacks are too high for the dojo, we may have to raise the roof a little," Soun explained.
"Still..." Akane said, then looked at them fight. I guess they are kind of good, she conceded, but only to herself.
"I can ask them if you can train with them sometime if you like Akane. No reason for you to be left out," Soun offered, seeing that Akane was troubled over something.
"What? Why do I need to train with them for?" Akane demanded.
"Well, if Ranma chooses you then you can run the dojo together!" Soun explained.
"I don't think he cares about the dojo, he seems more interested in Nabiki," Akane pondered, as she tried to plant some more seeds in Nabiki's favor.
"Oh really? He's made up his mind already? How wonderful! My little Nabiki is getting married!" Soun rejoiced, the tears started to flow from his eyes.
"Oh, what happened to set him off now?" Nabiki inquired, as she came down from upstairs.
"Oh, it looks like Ranma has chosen you, Nabiki," Kasumi explained.
"What? I barely talked to him yesterday!" Nabiki blurted, surprised. Well, he IS cute, but I can't let him choose me until I have a chance to see the Saotome's credit report. Can I? she questioned herself.
They all looked out to the garden when a loud splash was heard and saw that Genma and Ranma have fallen into the koi pond. They were shocked at the sight of Genma getting out of the pond as a panda, although they saw it several times the night before. Ranma rose out of the pond as well and wrung the water out of his clothes and hair. "Dirty trick, Pop!" Ranma yelled.
The panda was miffed and held up a sign that read, "Just be grateful YOU didn't get cursed!" He flipped the sign to show the back, which read, "I would think you'd make a great baboon!"
"Look who's talking, furball!" Ranma yelled back. Grateful! With this stupid fiancee business I'd welcome a curse so I could get out from this agreement! I doubt any of them would marry someone with a curse. Ranma added to himself.
"I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing that, it's so odd to see a man transform into an animal," Nabiki declared. "Hey, sis. Hope you have some bamboo for the panda!" she joked to Kasumi.
Kasumi pulled out a big basket of bamboo and put it on the table. "Of course I do, I can't have Mr. Saotome going hungry," Kasumi informed Nabiki.
"When did you manage to get that, Kasumi dear?" Soun inquired. The panda and Ranma walked in from outside and sat down at the table. The panda started to munch on the bamboo leaves.
"Oh, I went out yesterday afternoon to the pet store on the corner and found some," Kasumi explained. The panda raised his eyebrow at yet another mention of 'pet'. "Not that you're a pet, Mr. Saotome," Kasumi insisted. He is so cute and cuddly in his panda form though.
"Now then, Ranma. I understand that you've made your choice?" Soun inquired of Ranma.
"Huh?" Ranma gasped, suddenly confused.
"I know Nabiki will make you a wonderful wife! I'm so happy!" Soun exclaimed, his eyes exploded with tears.
Nabiki? Okay, now I know there's something wrong with her. They are all pushing a little too hard for me to choose her, Ranma pondered.
"Father, I really don't think we should rush him," Nabiki insisted. Damn, he's going scare Ranma away!
"Um, well..." Ranma began, then thought, What am I going to do, I already told Kasumi she wasn't my choice. I'll have to choose Akane until I can get out of it somehow. She's a little angry sometimes, but I guess she's cute and all...
"If you've made your choice, Ranma, it's only fair to tell us," Kasumi suggested.
A little nervously, Ranma explained, "Well I think Nabiki is nice, but I want to marry Akane."
What? What's wrong with me? Nabiki wondered.
Oh my? I'd have thought he'd be more interested in Nabiki, Kasumi thought.
Ah ha! No getting out of it now, boy! The panda congratulated himself on his perfect plan. If pandas could, he'd pat himself on the back.
Me? Why does he want to marry me? He IS trying to get my dojo! That jerk! Akane fumed, internally.
"I'm so happy, my youngest daughter is getting married!" Soun cried, almost drowning everyone in the room.
Suddenly in a flurry of movement, the panda and Soun had pushed Akane and Ranma together. Kasumi looked lovingly at the couple.
Nabiki still looked confused. Why not me?
"Um, why me?" Akane requested, still too shocked to get angry. Could he have fallen for me already? Well, considering how fast Kuno and all the other guys at school started chasing me... Of course, they are only after my body... The pervert! What right...
Ranma interrupted her thoughts by explaining, "Well it's just that I enjoyed working out with her yesterday and want to help her run the dojo." Ya, they'll buy that for now, he added to himself.
"Oh, what a wonderful couple! You shall have many strong children and carry on the Tendo and Saotome Anything Goes Martial Arts schools!" Soun cried.
"Children?" both Akane and Ranma shouted in unison. Both looked awkwardly at each other and blushed.
"No fair! He only choose Akane that time because they tried too hard to fix him up with Nabiki and he got suspicious!" Shadow-B screamed, then knocked over the popcorn bowl. The popcorn klernels seemed to float in the blackness of the floor.
"Well, you should have thought more about the change in the universe you made then! No use yelling about it, looks like you lost," Shadow-A laughed back.
"Well, let's see how the next ten years goes, first. That's the rule!" Shadow-B bellowed, desperately.
"I know, got any more popcorn over there?" Shadow-A asked, as they looked back at the large video screen.
"Sorry, I spilled it," Shadow-B explained, then added, "Um, I've got some nacho chips, if you want them."
The recently engaged couple walked to school together, well Ranma walked on the fence while Akane walked on the sidewalk. Akane beat up the horde of boys as she did every morning. Ranma beat up Kuno in short order, leaving him behind in an ever-deepening rain puddle. Nabiki dragged Kuno to class.
In class on time, Ranma and Akane awkwardly ducked questions about why Ranma beat up Kuno for Akane. "He didn't beat him up for me!" Akane insisted.
In Nabiki and Kuno's classroom, a very wet Kuno tried to remain upright. He was only able to do so because Nabiki was holding his head back by the hair.
"I despise you!" Kuno replied to something Nabiki just said.
Nabiki 'accidentally' let go of his hair and his face hit the desk in front of him, hard. "I'm so glad," she intoned.
"How dare that lowly cur, Ranma Saotome, hit thy noble Tatewaki Kuno, the famed Blue Thunder of Furinkan High! I shall smite the scoundrel!" Kuno declared proudly. Well, with as much pride as anyone could with his face smashed against a desktop.
"I think he just showed that you won't be able to do that," Nabiki stated.
"Never! I was just enchanted by my lovely Akane's beauty and could not fully concentrate on stopping the cur!" Kuno insisted, as he tried to raise his head in vain.
"About that... I think Akane's out of your reach now," Nabiki smirked. Here's where Ranma gets his just deserts for not even giving me a chance.
"How so? I can not envision a possible future without my fair Akane at my side!" Kuno declared, still trying to raise his head from the desk.
"We can, Kuno! Never did find a universe where Akane and Kuno married, did we?" Shadow-B asked.
"Nope. Of course we weren't really looking for that match, so who knows," Shadow-A replied. "Of course Girl-Ranma and Kuno..."
"Shut up about that already!"
"Well, it seems my Father made an agreement with Ranma's parents a long time ago. Ranma and Akane are engaged to be married," Nabiki explained, smirking.
Kuno stood up suddenly, knocking the desk and chair away from him. "Engaged! I shall not allow this!" Kuno yelled and ran for the door.
In Akane and Ranma's classroom, the teacher droned on about some poet. Ranma looked out the window while he talked to some boys in the back of the classroom. Akane glanced back at him occasionally, trying not to be noticed, she wasn't successful.
"...and thus his works are usually regarded as masterpieces. They involve such powerful emotions..." the teacher droned.
The door was pushed open with a crash. Kuno stood in the doorway, his bokken in hand. "Ranma Saotome! Thou shall now die for daring to claim my huntress Akane Tendo as your fiancee!" Kuno challenged.
Both Akane and Ranma went white with shock and started looking around nervously.
"Engaged?" Yuka gasped.
"I thought you hated boys, Akane?" Sayuri asked.
"You lucky dog! Have you done it with her yet?" Daisuke insinuated.
Akane and Ranma tried to deny it, but only half-heartedly. After all Ranma did end up choosing Akane that morning.
"No! Not really!"
"It was our parents idea!"
Suddenly Kuno lunged at Ranma with his bokken outstretched. Ranma grasped the end of the bokken, swung Kuno around, and then let go of the bokken. Kuno was thrown out through a window, luckily it was open at the time. He landed, unluckily, on a passing glass truck. He spent the rest of the week in intensive care.
Later, Nabiki thought in disgust, I can't believe Ranma didn't even get hit once. Okay, plan B.
For the next week the gang of boys did not attack Akane. They attacked Ranma. Although he was able to beat them all, he did take several hits, just from the sheer numbers. So he thought. After a week of this, Akane 'questioned' one of them repeatedly with her fist until he confessed that 'someone' had paid them to gang up on Ranma instead of her. The 'someone' also told all the boys some tips about Ranma's fighting style. He refused to name the 'someone'. But Akane had a pretty good idea who the 'someone' was.
Akane cornered Nabiki after school that day. "Why did you pay off those boys to beat up Ranma, or try to?" Akane accused.
"Who me?" Nabiki responded, innocently.
"Can it! Why are you doing this? I may not be happy about this engagement, but Ranma doesn't deserve to be beat up just because he choose me instead of you," Akane declared.
"Didn't you beat him up with your mallet last night, because he wouldn't spar with you?" Nabiki pointed out.
"That's different!" Akane insisted. "Anyway, if you want him you can have him as far as I'm concerned!"
"Well, I'm hardly going to take one of your rejects!"
"Looks like you'll be an old maid then!" Akane blurted. Then she immediately regretted it.
Nabiki was visibly taken aback by this. She looked downwards, then turned around, and walked away. "I guess it must be nice in your world, all the boys in the school drooling at your feet, never having to worry about if you'll ever get married, and even Ku-" she trailed off, then sighed.
"Nabiki! I'm sorry," Akane said, as Nabiki disappeared around the corner. God, I never ealized how bad Nabiki would take this or how she felt about those stupid boys who chase me.
"Ranma why did you choose me and not Nabiki?" Akane asked Ranma suddenly, while she walked home from school with him.
Ranma looked down from the fence at Akane, then said, "Um, I'm not sure if I can really explain it. I knew Kasumi thought I was too young for her, she actually seemed relieved when I told her. Since they were pushing so hard I had to go with my instincts. You're the only one who practices martial arts, it seemed we'd get along better."
"Ya, but you never want to spar with me," Akane commented.
"I let you chase me around the dojo just this morning!" Ranma insisted.
"That's not what I mean by sparing! You never swing at me!"
"You're a girl, I don't want to hurt you."
"I can handle you."
"I doubt it."
"Try me sometime."
"Fine, but try not to get killed." I'll have to at least make it look good I guess.
Akane smiled. The smile turned into a frown when she remembered the original reason to bring up this subject. "What about Nabiki? Why didn't you choose her?" Akane questioned.
I can't tell her it was because everyone was over-selling her and I got scared, Ranma thought quickly. "Well she's cute and all, but she seemed to back away from me when I tried to talk to her that first night. Didn't seem that interested," Ranma rambled. That's sort of the truth, I guess.
"I see. Can you try to be nice to her? I think she may have taken your rejection hard," Akane implored. Why don't I just ask him to marry her instead? she pondered, but is unable to answer her own question.
"Well I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. I'll try to see if I can cheer her up."
The next morning Akane was at the table eating breakfast, a steak was pressed against her eye. Ranma looked devastated by her side.
"I'm sorry Akane, I didn't intend to hit you," Ranma apologized.
"Ranma, fighting with girls isn't right," Kasumi calmly scolded him.
"I..." Ranma stuttered.
"I asked him to spar with me for real! It's my fault for not ducking his punch," Akane insisted. I don't believe how good he really is when he goes all out. I'll have to train harder I guess.
I'm glad I pulled that punch or she may have really got hurt, Ranma mentally kicked himself.
Nabiki came down the stairs in a short teddi and saw Akane. "Wowsa! What happened to you Akane?" Nabiki asked.
"Ranma punched Akane," Kasumi informed her.
"What?!" Nabiki screamed, jumped over the table, and kicked Ranma in his gut. Not exactly where she aimed, of course. "You muscle-bound jerk!"
"Nabiki! Calm down! I asked him to spar with me!"
"No. I deserved that for hurting both of you, I'm sorry again. For hitting you this morning Akane and for not getting to know you better Nabiki," Ranma apologized. Dang, the temper runs in the family… Well, except for Kasumi.
"Well, it's your loss!" Nabiki insisted, then flashed him a grin and turned around to sit at the table. Intentional or not, she gave him a little glimpse under her teddi as she sat down. Ranma gulped. Yup, that'll do. He knows what he gave up know.
As Kasumi started to serve the breakfast, Ranma said, "I should never have gone against my instincts not to hit a girl."
"Oh, no you don't! Not after you finally stopped being such a jerk about sparing with me!" Akane screamed. "You'll keep sparing with me or you'll can kiss our engagement goodbye!"
"Even if it means getting punched out every day?" Nabiki asked, protectively.
"Even if it means..." Akane started to agree, then stopped. "Nabiki? Well I won't get hit EVERYDAY! It's all a part of training!"
"Maybe you are the better couple then, black and blue aren't my best colors," Nabiki quipped.
I wonder if she's being truthful or just putting on a happy face? Akane wondered. She and Ranma finished breakfast, got up, and headed upstairs to get ready for school.
Well, they do seem better off together, I doubt that I could get used to his single mindedness about martial arts anyway, Nabiki conceded to herself. His attitude towards women is a little archaic. Of course compared to Kuno, he's an saint in that respect. Why did I think about Kuno suddenly?
"Yen for your thoughts, Nabiki?" Kasumi asked.
"Huh? Oh just thinking what a perfect couple they make," Nabiki replied.
"Yes, they do sort of fit together. I'm sure you'll find someone soon," Kasumi offered.
"Damn, you're good sis."
"Give me some credit for seeing that you were troubled over his choice."
"It seems like ever since Akane come to high school with me, she's been attracting all the boys. Even some of the other girls at school resent her for it," Nabiki spilled her heart out.
"Don't worry someone will notice you soon, especially with Akane out of the running now," Kasumi explained.
Thoughtfully, Nabiki realized, "You know, I never thought of it like that. Maybe this is a win-win situation for us both." Plus, I can still make a lot of Yen off the guys who won't give up on Akane.
In the days that followed, some strange boy wandered into Nerima and challenged Ranma to fight him. Several fights later, Akane's hair was accidentally cut off. She recovered from that shock after Dr. Tofu and Ranma both said she looked cuter with short hair. Ryoga got lost after that, occasionally wandering back into town from time to time. Somehow, he didn't have much reason to find Nerima that often. Apparently, Akane didn't think hippos with yellow and black bandanas are that cute. Nabiki didn't like hippos either. No one in Nerima took a liking to hippos, especially he people with walls that were broken down by the wandering hippo.
Akane beat Kodachi at the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics competition after being trained, reluctantly, by Ranma. She still smiled at the trophy she keeps on her desk. A dent in the side of the trophy looked a lot like Kodachi's head, mostly because smashing the trophy onto Kodachi's head caused it. Akane liked that part of the trophy most of all.
Some deformed pervert showed up and the women of Nerima started loosing their bras and panties. The local lingerie shops had a boon in sales, unfortunately they also had an increase in nighttime thefts. Ranma fought the old freak many times; something always seemed to distract Happosai before the battles finished. The 'something' usually involved girls or their undergarments. No one was happy when he decided to move into the Tendo house. Even Kasumi was a little upset, since she kept loosing underwear off the laundry line.
"Oh, now it's going to get interesting, Ukyo should show up any day now!" Shadow-B exclaimed, she reached for another soda from the dimensional refrigerator.
"You know sometimes you think about Ukyo too much," Shadow-A remarked.
"Well, only because she has the best chance of stealing Ranma away
from Akane," Shadow-B answered.
Well besides Kuno and Kasumi, Shadow-A thought with a giggle and then explained out loud, "You know, she may not even show up in this universe. Shampoo didn't."
"Well, that's because without his curse Ranma and Genma avoided the Amazon village, so Shampoo never got a chance to meet Ranma."
"Ya, ya, and Ryoga never got knocked into the 'Spring of stupid little piglet' by Girl-Ranma and instead wandered into the 'Spring of big fat hippo' by himself. No need to explain alternate niverse theory to me, I'm an old pro," Shadow-A asserted. Twenty centuries with Shadow-B in this cavern was starting to get to her.
"Looks like Ryoga should actually be THANKING Ranma for hitting him into the pig spring in those other universes instead of him walking into the hippo spring himself like he did here," Shadow-B asserted. "But I see no reason for Ranma not getting cursed to affect Ukyo showing up to find her fiancee." Shadow-B grinned. She glanced at the screen again and then pointed, "Oh! there she is!"
"What a waste, a cute girl like you," Ranma said, as he looked Ukyo in the eyes.
"Cute..." Ukyo stammered back. "Don't lie to me! I'm not cute!" she disagreed, and whacked Ranma's head with her hand. "Stop it!"
Suddenly a mallet replaced Ranma's face. "You must be happy... Now that you have a CUTE fiancee!" Akane screamed.
"So. You're Akane?" Ukyo questioned.
"Yep, CUTE fiancee, meet UN-CUTE fiancee," Ranma explained, indicating Ukyo and then Akane.
"So what if I'm not cute!" Akane screamed and kicked at Ranma.
"Tomboy!" Ranma taunted, leaping in the air to avoid her kick.
"So you two aren't getting along?" Ukyo realized.
"Gee, whatever makes you think that!" Akane snarled back.
"Am I right? Un-cute or what?" Ranma pointed at Akane.
Quickly Ukyo made up an okonomiyaki and flipped it to Ranma who caught it. "Let's let bygones by bygones, shall we?" Ukyo smiled, turned, and walked away.
A little amazed at Ukyo's sudden change of attitude, Akane suggested, "You must be very happy."
"Uh... Right..." Ranma managed to stammer as he examined the heart drawn on the okonomiyaki that Ukyo tossed him.
"Well, that's the same as most other universes," Shadow-A yawned.
"Wait, I'm sure Ranma will toss aside Akane for Ukyo soon," Shadow-B hoped, as she munched on some sort of multi-tentacled clear thing. The multi-tentacled clear thing looked really annoyed at Shadow-B, must have something to do with Shadow-B eating it. Or more likely, it was because Shadow-B needed some breath mints.
At the Tendo household, Ranma knelt at the dinning room table. Akane was on one side of him and Ukyo was on the other. The rest of the Tendos and Genma were across from them.
"Saotome, I am very upset at this turn of events, for you to also engage Ranma to Ukyo after we already agreed he would marry one of my daughters is very dishonorable," Soun explained, looking angrily at Genma.
"I'll go get a tanto blade!" Nabiki offered, then started to get up.
"Nabiki, that won't be necessary," Soun declared, but then added, "Yet." Genma sweated and looked suddenly very nervous. "Ranma, I expect you to honor your families agreement and marry my beautiful Akane."
"Um, sir, meaning no disrespect to you or your daughter, but I really never wanted either of these engagements. But, my honor demands that I abide by my P... Father's choice," Ranma stated.
Chicken, most of those present in the room thought to themselves. Except for Kasumi who was thinking who she could fix Ukyo up with, so Akane could marry Ranma.
Everyone in the room suddenly looked at Genma, most pictured how to disembowel him. Except for Kasumi who thought that his gi needed to be cleaned.
"Well, Saotome, which engagement will your family honor?" Soun insisted.
Genma looked very worried and troubled. Reluctantly, he started to explain, "Well, you see..."
"I don't care! Either way, I don't want to marry him!" Akane screamed, as she got up from the table.
"Well then, Nabiki can marry him then," Kasumi offered.
Oh no! There they go again trying to engage me to Nabiki again! Ranma considered. I'd be better off with Akane. She is as cute as Nabiki and it's more fun training with her than with Pop.
Not on your life, Father! Not after that jerk just passed me over for Akane without even getting to know me! Nabiki fumed, then glanced at Ranma. Before Ranma could say no to this idea, Nabiki spoke up and said clearly, "Father, I'm sorry, but I won't play second fiddle to my
little sister."
"Besides, I made my choice months ago! Akane will be my wife," Ranma insisted.
"Ha! Pay up! That's the second time he's declared his love!" Shadow-A gloated.
"Hey! They aren't married yet! And that really doesn't count as a declaration of love! Now be quiet so we can see what happens next!" Shadow-B yelled back at her.
"Oh, Akane! He has declared his love for you. Isn't that nice?" Kasumi exclaimed, sweetly. Ranma and Akane both blushed. Ukyo was growing very angry.
"I'd hardly call that a declaration of love!" Akane yelled.
"See, told ya!" Shadow-B said, as she stuck her tongue out at Shadow-A.
Believing that her chance is slipping away, Ukyo jumped to her feet with fire in her eyes. "Akane Tendo! I challenge you to a fight! The winner gets to marry Ranma-honey!" Ukyo challenged.
"Never let it be said that a Tendo turned down a challenge!" Akane accepted. She got to her feet and faced Ukyo.
"Tomorrow, in the empty field at noon?" Ukyo suggested.
"Fine, prepare to lose!" Akane screamed back. Ukyo turned and exited from the house.
"Oh, Akane! You do love Ranma! You are going to fight for your love!" Soun cried, his eyes pouring tears. Fortunately, Kasumi and Nabiki had opened umbrellas and avoided the shower of ears. Genma wasn't as lucky, so the panda just sighed sadly.
"Hey! I'm not doing this for Ranma! I'm doing it for the Tendo family honor!" Akane insisted. The others in the room did not look convinced.
Later, Akane was practicing for the fight in the dojo. She was hitting a punching dummy that looked suspiciously like Ranma. She is getting quite worked up. Stupid Ranma, getting another fiancee! Then Ranma stepped in front of the dummy and Akane stopped in mid swing. Angrily, Akane yelled, "Hey! I'm practicing here!" Damn, I shouldn't have stopped my swing!
"At least hitting THIS Ranma is less painful for me," Ranma said. Then he put his arm around the dummy, grinned at it, and knocked the dummy's pig-tail off it's shoulder. "Hey! He's pretty handsome, don't you think?" Ranma suggested.
Still angry, Akane snapped, "What do you want?"
"I'm just wondering why you're so mad all the time?" Ranma asked.
"I am not!"
"That may be more convincing if you didn't sound so angry when you said it," Ranma replied and flashed a smile.
"Let's just say I'm not happy being forced to marry you, okay?"
"It wasn't my idea either, but surely I'm not that bad?" Ranma inquired.
No he's not Akane conceded to herself, before she said aloud, "Well, you're arrogant, collect fiancees, you always call me names..."
"Names?" Ranma questioned.
"Tomboy, bad cook... Need I go on?" Akane replied.
"I've also called you cute several times," Ranma insisted.
"Like that matters," Akane grunted.
"And it's my Pop who've setup all these fiancees for me, I never asked for them. Besides three isn't a collection and Kaori Daikoku has already nullified hers!" Ranma tried to explain.
"And Kodachi?" Akane asked.
"She's not a fiancee! She's just some whacked out girl who I'd rather never have met!" Ranma explained.
Akane realized that his multiple fiancees are probably not his fault. Stupid fathers! Akane thought, before she added aloud, "Well why do you want to marry me anyway? Don't tell me you love me?"
"Well, you seem nice enough and we have our dedication to martial arts in common," Ranma ducked the question. "And we have been getting along fairly well over the last few months." When she's not hitting me with that damn mallet, that is.
"But, do you love me?" Akane asked directly.
"Um, I'm still getting to know you," Ranma offered, still ducking the question. "I do like..."
"There you go then, I'm hardly going to marry someone who won't say he loves me," Akane interrupted and started to storm out of the dojo.
"Kuno says he loves you! Is that the kind of love you want?" Ranma yelled at her back.
Akane stopped at the doorway. "No," she said simply, then left the dojo.
Ranma just looked at her with a puzzled look on his face. I just don't understand girls sometimes.
At noon on the following day, Ukyo and Akane faced off in the empty field. Nabiki was accepting bets from various spectators who had gathered around the enclosing fence. Soun, Genma, and Kasumi are watched with interest and concern. Ranma watched casually from a tree limb.
"Akane! Please be careful!" Soun cried.
"Don't hurt her too bad, Akane," Kasumi urged.
At least Kasumi appreciates my martial arts skills, Akane thought, then straightened her gi.
"Remember, we agreed, when you lose you give up Ranma to me!" Ukyo yelled, as she straightened her bandoleer.
"I'm not going to lose!" Akane snapped back. "And I'm doing this for my family's honor! Not Ranma," Akane added. Unfortunately, she spoiled the effect of her statement by glancing at Ranma at the end of it.
"Okay, ladies on the count of three begin. Winner gets to marry Ranma," Nabiki said. Ranma looked uncomfortable in the tree. "Nothing less than an knockout or surrender will win the match."
"One."
Akane looked ready to kill, but momentarily looked at Ranma in the tree. Ukyo scowled at Akane. Ranma blushed.
"Two."
Ukyo stood ready with her giant spatula in her hands, Akane bobbed up and down on the balls of her feet.
"Three."
Akane charged first and kicked out at Ukyo's chest. Ukyo dodged easily and managed to land the blade of her spatula flat against Akane's back. Damn, she shouldn't attack head-on like that, Ranma mentally scolded her.
Akane regained her balance and threw several punches at Ukyo, a couple of the punches connected. Ukyo swept Akane's legs with the spatula, but Akane managed to do a flip over Ukyo and ended up behind Ukyo. She punched Ukyo in the back of her head several times in fast succession and then kicked her hard in the small of the back. Ukyo staggered forward at the force of the kick.
Hey! She got that move from me! Not bad, Ranma realized.
Ukyo spun back around and used her spatula to hit Akane in the side, sending Akane sliding into the dirt. "Careful Akane!" Ranma shouted from his tree. Ukyo heard this, pulled out several throwing spatulas, and sent them whipping towards the still prone Akane.
Akane scooted backwards along the ground and barely avoided the spatulas as they hit the dirt. Akane rolled aside as Ukyo thrust her giant spatula down at Akane's head, blade first. Akane leaped to her feet and kicked Ukyo in the stomach, sending her flying backward to slam hard against the tree.
"Ukyo, please stop this! I don't want either of you to be hurt," Ranma pleaded.
"Then choose me!" Ukyo screamed back at Ranma.
Ranma shook his head, then said, "I'm sorry I can't. I just don't love you."
"And you love her?" Ukyo snarled, indicating Akane who was approaching cautiously.
"That's... different," Ranma stammered, not sure why it's different.
"Enough talking, we're supposed to be fighting here!" Akane screamed.
"Fine," Ukyo said calmly. Then with a fierce cry she flung the last of her throwing spatulas at Akane. Akane managed to avoid all but one of them, which caught her on her thigh. Her pant leg was torn and a little blood spilled out. Ukyo followed with a fierce swing of her spatula and hit Akane in the chest. Akane went flying across the field and slammed against a fence, hard. The crowd gasped as blood flows down her lip.
"Alright that's it!" Akane screamed, wiped the blood away, then charged at Ukyo.
Oh no! Don't charge straight in again Akane! Ranma thought, as he slapped his head in disgust.
Akane did just that, but just as she reached Ukyo she flipped to one side and caused Ukyo's spatula to miss it's target. Akane followed her flip by kicking Ukyo repeatedly while balancing on her hands. Ukyo slammed against another fence with a grunt and dropped her giant spatula in the process. Akane picked up the giant cooking instrument and with a few spins launched it into the ir. It was last seen over Mount Fuji.
On top of the aforementioned Mount Fuji a confused Ryoga looked around. "Where on Ear... urk!" Ryoga began to shout, but was cut short by a ridiculously huge spatula that hit him in the head. He went tumbling down the side of the mountain. ALL the way down.
"Are you okay sir?" a young girl asked, as he finally hit the bottom.
Ryoga looked up and saw the girl. "Huh? Yes. Where did that cooking utensil come from? I don't know how, but it has to be Ranma's fault!" Ryoga insisted. "Uh, who are you?"
"My name is Akari," Akari responded, with a smile.
The rather large pig behind her just snorted.
"You're out of spatulas! Had enough?!" Akane yelled.
"Nice move, Akane," Ranma said, unable to keep the large grin off his face. Was the earlier charge just to set Ukyo up for this attack?
"Never!" Ukyo yelled. She's better than the information I got said she was. She approached Akane again and landed a few more punches, but Akane was better at unarmed combat than Ukyo. Soon Ukyo was being forced backwards and with a sudden move, Akane managed to toss Ukyo into a pile of garbage. As Ukyo clawed her way out of the pile, she growled softly to herself, "Okay that's it! She's burnt okonomiyaki now!" As she got out of the pile of garbage, she reached under her bindings and pulled out several throwing spatulas. With a flick of her arms, she sent them flying towards Akane.
Startled to see the spatulas coming at her, Akane tried to avoid them. Unfortunately, the pattern Ukyo laid down was too precise and didn't give Akane any way to avoid them all. One hit Akane under her arm, another in her inner thigh, the last one grazed her left temple. Blood started to flow from the wounds as Akane crumpled to the ground.
The reaction from the crowd was mixed, they weren't expecting a bloodbath, just a normal everyday martial arts fight. Well normal for Nerima at least. The Tendos all started to run towards the fallen Akane. Ranma had gone into action as soon as he saw the spatulas appear, but was unable to get to Akane before the spatulas hit.
"No!" Akane screamed. She waved them all off and got back to her feet. "Leave me alone, I'm not out of this yet!"
Everyone stopped, looking concerned at the bleeding Akane. "Akane, no. There's no reason to go on," Ranma insisted.
"Don't want to marry me after all then?" Akane said, with a weak smile. Akane and Ukyo squared off again.
"I didn't say that! I don't want you hurt any more. I couldn't bear to lose you..." Ranma conceded.
"No fair playing favorites!" Ukyo yelled. In a rage she charged Akane. Using her empty bandoleer as a whip she managed to wrap up one of Akane's arms and yank her off balance.
Akane pivoted quickly on her foot, using the bandoleer as leverage. She landed a hard behind-the-back kick to Ukyo's side. Ukyo was unfortunate enough to land on some of her own throwing spatulas. She winced as they cut into her skin. Akane freed her arm from the bandoleer and stood ready again.
Akane stood over Ukyo, but paused. "Come on, finish it already!" Ukyo taunted as she tried to get up, tears streamed from her eyes.
With a sad look, Akane announced, "I don't need to hit you again, you're finished." In another time and place we could have been friends, why did it come to this, she pondered, sadly.
"I'm not unconscious and I'm not surrendering!" Ukyo managed to mutter. With spasms of pain, she rose to her feet. All my years of training... for nothing... can't even beat a little girl.
"Ukyo, please give up. I have no desire to hurt you any more," Akane pleaded.
"Too bad, I do want to hurt you," Ukyo muttered. "Badly." With a menacing glare, Ukyo took a unsteady step towards Akane. Then suddenly she fell to the ground, a large pool of blood flowed from under her body.
Ranma caught Akane in his arms after her feet buckled under her. Genma went over to check Ukyo with Kasumi's help. "She's unconscious, you won Akane," Genma said, then turned Ukyo over. One of Ukyo's spatula handles was sticking out of her abdomen. Blood poured from the wound.
"Who cares about that! Is she going to be all right?" Akane gasped. She turned away from all the blood, glad that Ranma was here to hold her.
Genma pulled the spatula out and tried to stop the bleeding with his hands. Kasumi handed Genma some gauze and a large cloth pad that she brought with her. "Oh my, use the gauze to fill the cut, then use the pad to cover the wound and keep applying pressure," Kasumi instructed. "We need to get her to the hospital, quickly!" Kasumi exclaimed. Then she looked at Akane. "Both of them."
"Dr. Tofu's clinic is just around the corner, let's get them there and call an ambulance. Ukyo doesn't look like she can wait for us to get her to the hospital directly," Nabiki asserted. Genma picked up Ukyo and headed off. Kasumi was helping hold the pad over the wound. Soun was crying over his wounded daughter.
Ranma lifted Akane in his arms and followed the others. He looked down at Akane's wounds and then at her beautiful face, he kissed her forehead. "Please don't die Akane, I need you," he said, sadly.
"That almost sounds like an admission of love," Akane replied, with short breaths.
"Um, well I..." Ranma stammered.
"That's okay, it's enough for now, baka," Akane decided, then closed her eyes.
Shadow-A had a tear in her eye as she looked down from the screen. "I always hate when fights go like that," she said, suppressing a sniffle.
"They'll live, it's better than what happened to them in that last universe," Shadow-B said, remembering the universe where Ranma died and then came back to life.
"Don't remind me, I'm tempted to delete that universe," Shadow-A said.
"Let's fast forward to the next day and see what they are up to," Shadow-B recommended.
"Ok," Shadow-A said and used the shuttle control on her control pad. "Looks like Ranma's just working out in the dojo," Shadow-A informed the other Shadow, as she glanced at the screen.
Which was exactly what Ranma was doing. He seemed to be troubled as he worked through his usual exercises. He raged inside and started to take his anger out on several padded dummies, reducing them to tatters.
"Stupid tomboy, always making trouble," Ranma said, punching they head off a dummy. Having just walked into the dojo, Akane heard this and grew angry. "I'll never forgive that bitch for hurting my Akane!" Ranma screamed and sent the dummy crashing through the wall of the dojo.
Akane was shocked, she just stared at Ranma's back. "What?"
Ranma spun around and then with a concerned look, said, "Akane, you should be in bed, no need to workout today."
"I... I wanted to talk to you," Akane said shyly. Then she sat down on the dojo floor. Ranma sat down a couple feet in front of her. "I wanted to thank you for helping me yesterday, I couldn't have done it without you."
"Huh? You stopped me from interfering. You won that fight all by yourself!" Ranma insisted.
"Physically, but you helped me win with your encouragement and even with some of the training we've done," Akane admitted. Even if you were reluctant to go all out with me.
"I did notice that you picked up a few of my moves," Ranma proudly revealed.
"You were a big help and I thank you. But you know, the fight didn't really resolve anything," Akane said.
"Well, I don't think Ukyo will be bothering either of us anymore," Ranma explained.
"That's not what I mean," Akane began. The she paused before continuing, "I'm talking about OUR engagement."
Ranma gulped. "Well, actually..."
Akane interrupted Ranma, she said, "I've spoken to both of our Fathers and explained to them that you don't deserve to be forced into a marriage that you don't want." Not wanting to see his reaction, she looked down at the floor. "So, we release you from any agreements made by our parents."
"Huh?" Ranma uttered. Why is she dumping me, doesn't she know how I feel?
"We can still be friends if you like. It might be fun to pick up some more martial arts moves from you," Akane explained.
"All right! She's dumping the poor slob!" Shadow-B cheered.
"Shut up!" Shadow-A yelled back. Damn, it was going so good, I wonder who he'll end up with then?
"Make me!"
Shadow-A reached over and pressed one of her recall keys. The large video screen shifted to a wedding scene showing Girl-Ranma and Tatewaki Kuno dressed in wedding kimonos. They kissed each other.
"No stop it!" Shadow-B screamed in pain.
Shadow-A adjusted another control and the screen shifted to Girl-Ranma's and Kuno's honeymoon. They were... well you know.
"Please, no more! I'll be good! Just stop the horror!"
Cheered up a bit, Shadow-A shifted the video screen back to the original universe.
"Well, I don't think we can just be friends," Ranma said sadly. Akane looked saddened by this statement. He then looked up at Akane and asked with determination, "How about I take you out on a date and see how things go... You know... Like a normal couple who haven't been engaged by their stupid fathers?"
"Huh? Does this mean you DO have feelings for me?" Akane gasped. Oh my.
"Um, ya. I've just never been able to say it properly with all the things that got in our way," Ranma admitted.
"I thought you just were nice to me because I was hurt," Akane explained. "I'd love to go on a date with you!" Akane smiled.
Love that smile! Ranma grinned himself and then said, "As soon as you're healed we'll go out then."
"Sure. Um Ranma?" Akane asked.
"Yes Akane?" Any more discussion on Ranma's part was cut short as Akane leaned forward and gave Ranma a long kiss.
"Thanks for being there for me yesterday," Akane said. She was blushing as she got up and ran out of the dojo.
Ranma just stared at her retreating back. Man! That was great! He closed his eyes and laid down on his back, mostly to think about the kiss. He was still smiling when he opened his eyes again and saw the panda hanging from the rafters, holding a video camera. With a quick kick, Ranma sent one of the training dummies up towards the panda, who went crashing through the roof and into orbit from the impact.
Outside the dojo, the Tendo's all followed the panda's trajectory with their heads. "Well, I guess it's a good thing we didn't join him in the rafters after all. Hopefully the video won't get damaged," Nabiki commented.
"Damn, I was so close!" Shadow-B yelled, then threw the food she was eating down to the floor. It squeaked loudly and glared at the Shadow with anger. You'd think it would be more mad at being eaten than being thrown to the floor, but it wasn't. It launched itself back at Shadow-B and tried to crawl into the Shadow's mouth. Shadow-B just relented and ate the thing.
"I keep telling you that it's their destiny to be together!" Shadow-A insisted. "I think they are on the right track, lets fast forward to the wedding." She smiled and then used the shuttle control to fast forward along the timeline.
Two years after that first kiss the Tendo dojo was all decorated with flowers and banners. An altar had been erected at one end of the hall. Various guests were seated and looking up at the altar. Ranma was dressed in a very smart looking tuxedo. He looked very handsome, although he was fidgeting with his collar a bit. Soun was standing in front with the minister. Ryoga stood by Ranma's side, a rope tied to his leg and then to a loop in the floor to keep him from wandering off.
Nabiki, Kasumi, and Akari were standing across from the men. All had huge smiles on their faces and were wearing incredibly beautiful dresses. Truth be told, the dresses were beautiful, but the ladies in them are what really made them look stunning. Akari smiled and winked at Ryoga, who blushed and held back a nosebleed. We're next my darling hippo! Akari thought to herself.
Genma and Nadoka Saotome were seated on the groom's side, they held each other's hands. Nadoka had tears in her eyes.
Kuno and Kodachi were not to be seen anywhere, Nabiki was asked to 'take care of' both of them. No one asked what she did to keep both of them away from the wedding. That was probably for the best, some things are best left unknown.
Some of the boys and girls from school were in the audience as well. Dr. Tofu was seated in the front row, twiddling his fingers and trying not to look at Kasumi. Unfortunately, the man who sat next to him occasionally had to keep Dr. Tofu from crushing his hand.
Then the music started and all eyes turned towards the entrance to the dojo. Akane stood in the doorway, the sun shining behind her. A lovely glow surrounded her beautiful wedding dress.
Ranma looked at her and all doubts about the wedding left his
mind. Forget cute, she's gorgeous! he thought. He smiled back at her and mouthed 'I love you' with his lips. She blushed, nodded, and replied in kind.
She started to walk down the aisle, looking every bit the beautiful bride she was. As she reached the altar, Soun hugged his daughter and placed her on Ranma's arm. The couple faced the Minister.
"We are gathered here today to join Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo in holy matrimony..." the minister began.
Ranma became nervous again.
Shadow-A wiped her eyes, and then sobbed, "Oh, she's so beautiful!"
"How many times have you've seen them get married now? Gee, you'd think you'd be used to it by now!" Shadow-B replied.
"But, it's always just a little different. For instance, there are no Amazon warriors breaking down the walls in this wedding," Shadow-A said and indicated the screen.
"It's a bit dull if you ask me! Could use some more action," Shadow-B replied.
"Well, at least I doubt that the dojo will get blown up during this wedding, that was one nasty honeymoon in that universe," Shadow-A remembered.
"Well, they survived the blast at least. Too bad they only were disembodied brains after the blast, wasn't much of a physical relationship in THAT marriage," Shadow-B replied with a grin. Then she had to shut her mouth to keep her food from escaping.
"Do you, Ranma Saotome, take this woman, Akane Tendo, to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, with dojo or without, till death do you part?" The Minister asked.
"I do. As long as she promises to stop malleting me," Ranma insisted, although he knows she hasn't used her mallet since the 'new' engagement began.
"Do you, Akane Tendo, take this man, Ranma Saotome, to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, with bad attitude or not, till death do you part?" The Minister
asked and then added quickly, "AND promise to stop malleting him?"
"I do, I really do... to both questions. But, he has to agree to stop collecting fiancees!"
The Minister just glanced at Ranma, who nodded and said, "I do."
"The rings please?"
Kasumi hands Akane the ring for Ranma. Ryoga frantically looked through his pockets. "Where on Earth is the ring!" Ryoga screamed.
On a mountaintop in China, a climber finished pulling herself over the ridge of an escarpment. "Ah, what a wonderful view!" She exclaimed, as she looked around. A glint of light catched her eye, she leaned down and picked up a wedding ring from the ledge.
"Oh pretty! Maybe Shampoo find man to marry with this ring!" Shampoo exclaimed, then started to look around the mountaintop for a man. Because of course, that's the best place to pickup men. Isn't it?
Genma slunk up to the altar and handed a ring to Ranma. "Here. I figured he'd loose it, so I gave him a fake," Genma whispered. I HOPE I gave him the fake one.
After Ranma and Akane each placed the rings on each other's fingers, the Minister finished the ceremony. "I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss your bride!"
Ranma lifted Akane's veil and looked lovingly into her eyes. He then kissed his new wife.
Cheers went up all around the dojo, streamers and confetti went flying, and one Shadow sighed in relief, as Ranma and Akane made their way down the center aisle.
At the reception, Dr. Tofu worked up the nerve to dance with Kasumi. He turned out to be a great dancer, all his practice with 'Betty-chan' having come in handy. They rarely left the dance floor that night, neither of them wanting to spoil the magic. The magic was still with them when they got married a year later. Unfortunately, Ranma and Akane couldn't make the wedding since their daughter decided to be born between 'I' and 'do'.
Akari and Ryoga ended up at the top of Tokyo tower, instead of at the reception. They danced up there instead. They tried to organize a nice wedding like Ranma and Akane's, but kept getting lost before the weddings (all six of them). Finally they found themselves in Las Vegas and got married by Elvis. Actually, it turned out to be a minister who fell into the 'Spring of drowned Elvis'. No wonder he is seen everywhere.
Nabiki met a handsome young man at the reception, who seemed quite taken with her charm and beauty. They got married four years later. Ranma and Akane's daughter, little Ranko, was the flower girl. Their daughter walked down the aisle and only once tried to kill the ring bearer, after little Ryo Hibiki tugged on Ranko's red pig-tail once too often. Everyone always wondered why Ranko had red hair. Kasumi's twins were due a month after the wedding. The triplets were born two weeks later.
Shampoo never found a man on the mountaintop, so went back to her village. She was knocked down and defeated by Mousse after he mistook her for purple haired monster. He should have been wearing his glasses. He was glad he wasn't. They got married soon afterwards, and Shampoo used the ring after all. Despite her protests, she was happy.
Ukyo? A sad tale there. To avoid thinking of Ranma, she threw herself into her restaurant and soon had the largest okonomiyaki chain in Japan. She even opened a couple in America, where they never seemed to have heard of okonomiyaki before. She ended up marrying a dashing young network manager from San Francisco. Why is this a sad tale? She'sstill paying off the loans she got from Nabiki.
Kuno and Kodachi? They are still a pain in the ass.
"Oh, how beautiful! They don't usually have such calm and beautiful weddings in most universes. Usually they are either rushed, they just elope, or are interrupted and have to be finished later. A full formal wedding is a rarity for them. It's fitting that themillionth one is so perfect," Shadow-A said, then indicated thescoreboard.
The scoreboard flashed the top entries, which read:
Boy-Ranma and Girl-Akane ... = 1,000,000
To go = 0,000,000
A song started to play in the background of the cavern, it began with "Yappa pa, yapppa pa. Don't know what to do. My heart is not a
game. It's mah-jongg to you..."
Shadow-A reached over to turn off the large video screen, but Shadow-B grabbed her hands. "Hold it, I want a rematch! Double or nothing!" Shadow-B screamed.
"Baka! You've lost, now just admit you love me and marry me already!" Shadow-A screamed. She pulled down the hood of her protective cloak and ran her hand through her short hair to straighten it. "That was the one millionth Boy-Ranma and Girl-Akane marriage! So marry me already Ranma!" Shadow-A screamed.
Ah she shrugged off her hood and revealed her red pig-tail, Girl-Shadow-Ranma yelled back, "Why would I want to marry a un-cute, flat-chested, violent, tomboy like you?!" Both Shadows appeared to be around sixteen years old.
"Who's flat-chested? I'm only a inch smaller that you!" Shadow-Akane said, indicating both of their busts.
"Well, the rest still applies!" Girl-Shadow-Ranma replied.
Shadow-Akane pulled out a hot water gun and sprayed Girl-Shadow-Ranma with it. "Now who's flat chested!" she yelled.
The suddenly male Shadow-Ranma screamed back, "I'm a guy now! I'm supposed to be flat-chested... And it's not really flat!" He did some body-builder flexes and poses to demonstrate this.
"Conceited, opinionated, cross-dressing, jerk!" Shadow-Akane screamed. "Marry me now or I'll delete the universe were you rule the whole universe!" She screamed and then moved her hands over to her control pad. Her finger hovered over a button labeled 'Universal Hammer'.
"No! Don't do that! I like that one!" Shadow-Ranma pleaded. Even if Akane is my queen in it.
"I know you like it," Shadow-Akane said, grinning. "All I'm asking is you live up to the conditions of our bet that you agreed to."
"Okay, Akane, you win. Will you marry me?" Shadow-Ranma asked, not at all sincerely.
"No. Say it nicer and say you love me! Just like we agreed to when we started the bet." Shadow-Akane demanded.
"Un-cute tomboy," Shadow-Ranma muttered softly. He sighed. Then he got on one knee and took Shadow-Akane's hand in his own. "Akane, would you do me the honor of marrying this worthless slob before you? I know I am a cross-dressing fool and an idiot, but I love you." He grimaced. I should have never agreed to those words.
"Better," Shadow-Akane responded. She paused and appeared to be thinking.
"Well?" Shadow-Ranma asked, irritated.
"I'm thinking, don't rush me!" Shadow-Akane replied.
"You've had twenty centuries to think about this! Otherwise what was the point of this stupid bet if you don't want to marry me now?!" Shadow-Ranma screamed.
"Hey, this is a big decision for a girl!" Shadow-Akane exclaimed. "Yes, Ranma I'd love to become your bride," she finally accepted.
"Fine, but just a small wedding," Shadow-Ranma said, as he rose to his feet.
"After twenty centuries? This will have to be the biggest wedding in any universe. We even can invite all the other universe's couples and even the fiancees who didn't end up with you," Shadow-Akane said, making wedding plans in her head. No, best to only invite the happy couples, not the ones who didn't end up with Ranma. Well, I'll definitely invite Happosai, the jerk deserves that one! She grinned.
"Well, THAT'LL be an interesting wedding at least," Shadow-Ranma replied. Then to shut Shadow-Akane's ongoing plans for the wedding up, he pulled her close and gave her a deep kiss. Not bad, maybe all those other Ranmas knew what they were doing.
About time you kissed me, baka, Shadow-Akane thought, as she got lost in their first kiss.
The scoreboard changed to read:
Boy-Ranma and Girl-Akane ... = 1,000,001
To go = 0,000,000
Neither of the Shadows noticed that the scoreboard changed, as they were both starting to enjoy the kiss. They then proceed to second, third, and home base. After all twenty centuries is a REAL long time to wait for your first kiss.
And that's one more couple who weren't fighting their destiny anymore. They are REALLY not fighting their destiny anymore. Damn, who'd have thought that position was even possible! Must have something to do with all the martial arts training.
About a century later, because a trans-universal wedding is VERY hard to coordinate, the invitations went out to just over one million couples (they both agreed not to invite any Kunos). The wedding was a huge blast, without any explosives at all.
[Finish]
[Additional documentation]
[Shadow File: 0022.3. /lbc]
[Transcript of the official bet/agreement between Shadow-Akane and Shadow-Ranma]
An agreement between 'Ranma Saotome', hereafter referred to as Shadow-Ranma, and 'Akane Tendo', hereafter referred to as 'Shadow-Akane', of universe number 19571966/98-RANMA-Z340/A2' also known as the Shadow Universe. Dated November 23rd, 2046 A.D. in the town of Nerima, Japan, Earth, Sol System, Milky Way Galaxy.
The 'bet' is defined as follows:
If Shadow-Ranma and Shadow-Akane can find or make (by means of temporal universe manipulations) one million universes where the being known as Ranma and the being known as Akane marry each other as Boy-Ranma and Girl-Akane, and such marriage is their first marriage, before they find or make one thousand universes where the being known as Ranma and the being known as Akane DO NOT marry each other as Boy-Ranma and Girl-Akane then the aforementioned Shadow-Ranma shall tell Shadow-Akane that he loves her and marry Shadow-Akane within one century.
The 'odds' are stated as follows:
One thousand to one in favor of Boy-Ranma and Girl-Akane getting married. These odds computed by Shadow-Nabiki Tendo and verified with a sampling of Nabiki Tendo's from random universes.
'Boy-Ranma and Girl-Akane Tally' is defined as follows:
This tally, if it reaches one million before the 'Other Pairings Tally' reaches one thousand, will result in Shadow-Ranma confessing his previously agreed upon love to Shadow-Akane and the marriage of said Shadows within one century after completion of the bet. The exact text of the declaration of love and marriage proposal shall be: "Akane, would you do me the honor of marrying this worthless slob before you? I know I am a cross-dressing fool and an idiot, but I love you." The declaration of love should be recited by Shadow-Ranma, and given in a kneeling position, while holding Shadow-Akane's hand (preferably while the aforementioned hand is still attached to the rest of Shadow-Akane's body).
Only universes where Boy-Ranma and Girl-Akane get married in a monogamous marriage, 'monogamous' defined as being only two people (or three if Ranma has a Jusenkyo curse), shall be counted in the 'Boy-Ranma and Girl-Akane' tally. The marriage must be the first marriage for both of them. The current state of Ranma's Jusenkyo curse at the time of marriage shall not factor into determination of this tally, as long as Ranma is able to be male during the wedding ceremony and honeymoon. ANY curse held by Shadow-Akane at the time of marriage will shift this marriage to the 'Other Pairings Tally'.
'Other Pairings Tally' is defined as follows:
This tally, if it reaches one thousand before the 'Boy-Ranma and Girl-Akane Tally' reaches one million, will result in Shadow-Ranma being released from this agreement and free to do as he pleases. Shadow-Akane agrees to stop hitting Shadow-Ranma with her mallet and nagging him to marry her if this tally wins. Shadow-Akane will also agrees to stop cooking for him, for all Eternity.
Any universe where Ranma (of any sex/Jusenkyo curse status) and any other being besides Girl-Akane get married shall be counted in the 'Other Pairings Tally'. This includes, but is not limited to, the following possible pairings (Ranma being of any sex/Jusenkyo curse status):
Ranma and any woman other than Girl-Akane
Ranma and any group of multiple women (which can include Akane)
Ranma and any man
Ranma and any non-human animal or plant
Ranma and Ranma
Ranma and any non-female or non-human Akane
Provisions:
(Names in parenthesis indicate the party requesting that provision.)
1. (Ranma) If Ranma ends up marrying any group of multiple men in the same universe, Shadow-Ranma will immediately get sick and puke over the Shadow-Realm's floor. He will run around the cavern while screaming until Shadow-Akane knocks him unconscious with her mallet. He will then, upon regaining consciousness, marry Akane and thank his lucky stars that in the Shadow universe he is able to avoid such a horrifying fate.
2. (Akane) Family names shall not be important. Only the genetic markers, on file, that define 'Ranma' and 'Akane' shall be used as proof of identity, should questions arise about the identity of an universe's Ranma and Akane.
3. (Ranma/Akane) Should any universe's Akane or Ranma experience death, death being defined as the complete absence of any mental activity by either being, before Ranma and/or Akane marries any being, then that universe shall be discounted and neither tally be affected.
4. (Akane) Shadow-Ranma agrees, as of the date he signs this agreement, that he does love Shadow-Akane, but will not be forced to tell her until such time as Shadow-Akane wins this bet. If Shadow-Ranma wins this bet he is free to do as he pleases.
5. (Nabiki) Shadow-Nabiki Tendo shall setup the computer systems to monitor and implement temporal universal manipulations. She shall be the sole administrator and judge for this bet/agreement. Her fees for such services will be calculated as 166% of the prevailing wages for temporal judges. (Last sentence-Kasumi) If questions arise over a decision made by Shadow-Nabiki Tendo, it may be appealed to Shadow-Kasumi Tendo as long as she's not cooking or having another baby with Shadow-Tofu.
6. (Everyone) Shadow-Soun Tendo and Shadow-Genma Saotome, being complete bumbling idiots, shall have no say in the execution of this bet/agreement whatsoever.
7. (Everyone) Shadow-Akane and Shadow-Ranma shall take turns creating alternate universes and will randomly view a universe that was not created by either of them every third round of the bet.
8. (Nabiki) No divergence/nexus point shall be used more than once. Different changes to a universe that have a similar result may be used as long as they are made at different points along the timelines.
9. (Akane) Shadow-Ranma shall not cause Akane to be cursed by direct action on his part.
10. No universes may be intentionally created where any of the following conditions exist/will exist:
* (Akane) That Ranma and Akane are in the same biological family
* (Akane) That causes Ranma and Akane to never meet each other
* (Ranma) That Ranma and/or Akane are born as non-humans, as marriages between lower animals are hard to verify (i.e. no Human-Ranma and Sheep-Akane pairings)
* (Akane) That causes Akane to 'really' be un-cute
* (Ranma) That causes Ranma to be a wimpy geek (Geek as defined by Shadow-Ranma)
* (Ranma/Akane) That causes Ranma and/or Akane to be disfigured in anyway
If universes with any of the above conditions are created, by accident or design, then that universe shall be discounted and neither tally be affected.
Signed November 23rd, 2046 A.D. in the town of Nerima, Japan, Earth,
Sol System, Milky Way Galaxy, universe number '19571966/98-RANMA-Z340/A2' by (all signers local to this universe):
Name: Ranma Saotome
Self description: All around great guy and the best martial artist in any universe!
Description by others: Cross-dressing baka!
Favorite color: Red
If you could be any cursed animal (non-human), what animal would you be: Any male animal.
Measurements: Mine are bigger than Akane's.
Name: Akane Tendo
Self description: Beautiful goddess and greatest cook in any universe!
Description by others: Un-cute tomboy
Favorite color: Blue (except the shade of blue in Ranma's eyes)
If you could be any cursed animal (non-human), what animal would you be: A cat. (evil grin)
Measurements: None of your business! Pervert!
Name: Nabiki Tendo
Self description: Administrator/judge, money goddess
Description by others: Money hungry bitch
Favorite color: Color of local money
If you could be any cursed animal (non-human), what animal would you be: Whatever a zoo would pay the most to rent.
Measurements: How much are you going to pay me to measure me, big boy?
Addendums:
(Names in parenthesis indicate the party requesting that addendum,
although all parties to this agreement had to agree to the addendum.)
1. (Ranma) The marriage of any Ranma to any other being must take place within ten years of the engagement or that universe is considered null and void as far as the bet tallies are concerned.
2. (Akane) Shadow-Ranma must stop drooling every time a Ranma marries an Ukyo.
3. (Akane) Shadow-Ranma may not delete anymore universes in which Ranma marries Tatewaki Kuno.
4. (Everyone) It is stated that Girl-Ranma and Happosai make a really gross couple.
5. (Nabiki) Shadow-Akane and Shadow-Ranma must stop waking Shadow-Nabiki up at ungodly hours. She may be Eternal, but she still needs her beauty sleep.
[Shadow File: 0286.5. /inv]
[Shadow wedding invitation]
I, Soun Tendo, cordially invite you and your wife/husband/significant cursed other/freak to attend the wedding of my lovely daughter:
Akane Tendo (100% female)
To her long time fiancee (21 centuries):
Ranma Saotome (who will be in his male form when marrying Akane)
To be held in universe number 19571966/98-RANMA-Z340/A2
Please use the enclosed heart locket to travel (good for one round trip only) to the wedding when you are ready. It will take you to the proper universe at the proper time and space coordinates.
For couples wishing to travel using their own temporal equipment, please set your temporal jump vectors to: 19571966/161-A8. .97.A.45 Spatial coordinates: 023-203-654-983
All weapons, magical items, and martial art skills will be confiscated at the door. We are sure you all understand why this needs to be done.
Nabiki Tendo will collect gifts and donations. She will also collect past due debts owed to her by guests.
Kasumi Tendo will host the reception dinner (assisted by volunteer Kasumi's from various universes).
Akane Tendo has made the wedding cake. Notice: The Ranma Saotome native to this universe has certified it as non-toxic.
To avoid trouble, please do not inform any former Ranma fiancees about this wedding. Most importantly, do not inform or even think about any former Ranma fiancees that have the capability to Reality Jump. Violators will be malleted out of existence by the bride.
The couple is registered at: Macy's; Sax's Fifth Avenue, Mallets 'R Us, Ucchans, Red Chinese Shirt Emporium, and Plum's Sex shop for Jusenkyo Cursed People. The groom (and guests) would also appreciate permanent Jusenkyo curse cures.
[Shadow File: 1000.0. /rep]
[Shadow wedding report]
The wedding itself was very big and very beautiful. Shadow-Akane and Shadow-Ranma married with their 4 children (two by Shadow-Akane and one by Girl-Shadow-Ranma), 10 grandchildren, and 15 great-grandchildren looking on. After all, a century is a long time to wait for a wedding to happen. Fortunately, only two of their descendants are stupid enough to have gotten Jusenkyo curses (they take after Ranma's side of the family).
The bride wore a lovely white wedding kimono and the groom wore a handsome black wedding kimono (they actually looked exactly the same except for the color, but Shadow-Ranma insisted his be described as 'handsome' instead of 'lovely'). Their original idea to marry in their black cloaks (which they only needed to wear in the cavern to protect against the massive temporal energies they were working with) was vetoed by all parties. Most vehemently, by the kimono rental company. They must have gotten used to wearing the cloaks after twenty centuries in that cavern.
About half of the one million or so couples invited showed up. As Nabiki's projections showed around 30 percent would show up, the wedding and reception halls had to be expanded dimensionally by about 40 percent. Fortunately, they had booked the adjoining dimensions, just in case.
Only a few fights broke out, thanks in part to the fact that no Kunos were invited (Kodachi or Tatewaki). And since all martial arts skills and weapons were confiscated at the door, the fights were all minor and no injuries, save one, were reported.
Mostly the fights were between Boy-Ranmas and Ranmas who married guys. Although a number of Shampoos had to be restrained when they couldn't accept the fact that Ranma didn't marry her in EVERY universe. Some people just can't stand others being happy.
Also, all of the Ryogas who came got malleted by a pack of Akanes who were still upset (or didn't know until the wedding) that Ryoga was P-Chan. The pigs squealed that night. Even a Ryoga that didn't have a Jusenkyo curse got malleted. 'On principal' was the reason given.
The best part of the wedding was when all the Ranmas (and some Akanes too) ganged up and beat the one Happosai invited into a bloody pulp. His native universe will just have to do without him. A suggestion to do that to all Happosais in all universes was briefly discussed, but most of the Ranmas didn't want to bother with it. After all, most of them were happily married and wanted to get home to… well you know. Seeing almost a half million of your beautiful wife (wives?) all dressed up in her (their) best dress(es), all at once, tends to make Ranma a very horny guy, or girl as the case may be.
The wedding cake that Shadow-Akane made turned out to be a disaster on two fronts. Ranma and Akane being who they are, most of the couples ended up smashing the cake in each other aces with cries of 'tomboy', 'un-cute', 'pervert', and 'baka'.
The second problem with the cake was that the couples who did end up eating some of the cake got horribly sick. It turns out that Shadow-Ranma's stomach was hardened by all the junk food he ate while monitoring universes during their bet and could eat anything Shadow-Akane made without getting sick. Shadow-Akane is VERY happy in the Shadow universe.
The final Ranma/Akane couple that put the tally over the top were guests of honor. That universe's Ranma was surprised to find that in most other universes he had a girl-curse. He made the mistake of calling Girl-Ranma better built than his Akane and he was malleted by every Akane present at the wedding. 'Somehow' they hid the mallets from the door guards (volunteer Nabiki Tendos). His Akane almost ran off with the Ranma who was married to the duck, but in the end forgave the big stupid jerk.
Fortunately and despite the dismal odds (twenty-five trillion to one against) Nabiki gave for this happening, all the couples except one (Nabiki knew somehow that one wouldn't last) went back to their own universes in their original pairings. The one that didn't was Girl-Ranma from the Girl-Ranma/Happosai couple. It turns out Girl-Ranma was under a spell, from which she was released when the Ranmas all beat Happosai to death. She went back to her own universe to marry Akane. That must have been where the 'minus' one tally came from for their entry in the scoreboard. Shadow-Akane always wondered why the scoreboard insisted on tallying that entry like that. Shadow-Ranma always just ignored that entry in disgust.
Shadow-Ranma and Shadow-Akane lived happily ever after, forever. 'Forever' since they, and most of the residents of Nerima, became Eternal in this universe before the bet began (how else could they wait for twenty-one centuries to get married, baka!) They still occasionally
'play' with alternate universes to see what happens, but Ranma and Akane still end up together in most of them.
After all that is their destiny.
[Shadow File: 4500.7. /tly]
[Final tally]
Boy-Ranma and Girl-Akane ... = 1,000,002
To go = infinity
...and counting.
[End of Additional Documentation]
[Epilogue]
Shadow-Ranma lunged for the 'Alternate Universe Go Boom' button. Shadow-Akane intercepted him and used her Shadow-Mallet to destroy his control panel. "Oh no you don't!" she yelled.
"I can't believe that even in an alternate of OUR OWN universe Ranma and Akane still get together!" Shadow-Ranma started to become depressed. The endless blackness of the cavern did not help his mood any.
"Well, you wanted to see what would happen at the end of the bet instead of just waiting for us to finish it. We saved some time at least. Only took us half a century to find out what those two Shadows took twenty centuries to discover!" Shadow-Akane cheerfully said.
"And what is that Akane?"
"That it's our destiny to be together for all eternity!"
"Can I at least have an affair with Ukyo now and then?" Shadow-Ranma pleaded.
"We'll see. Maybe after a few centuries together I'll get bored with you," Shadow-Akane quipped.
"Stupid Akane," Shadow-Ranma cursed. "Stupid bet. Stupid Destiny."
[Finish (for sure this time)]
E-mail comments and/or criticisms to: jim
(http) /ff
Authors notes:
Originally this story started as a 'What if' story where Ranma doesn't
get cursed and what happens after Ranma and Akane meet. I think the
events were plausible (although I was toying with Nabiki ending up with
him in the original draft). Akane wouldn't have been as mad at Ranma to
start with (in the original he basically lied to everyone by not
telling them about his curse up front, plus if he was already male
Akane would have been more careful about going into the bathroom). The
part about Nabiki being forced on Ranma also follows some logic, Kasumi
doesn't want to marry Ranma (too young for her) and Akane doesn't want
to marry Ranma (hate's boys) so they both oversell Nabiki, causing
Ranma to become suspicious. In fact Kasumi did the same thing in the
original by agreeing that Akane was the better choice to avoid marrying
Ranma herself (although her reason was because of Ranma's age, not his
curse).
The Shadows were added to provide an explanation for the change in the
universe and some jokes about alternate universes of various fanfics
(including my own). Soon, they became the focus of the story, with the
big payoff at the end about who they really were.
The references to other Ranma fanfics are too numerous (or too vague to
pick a particular author or story) to list here, but I do want to
mention the big ones. The Ranma 2096 universe was mentioned quite a
lot, mostly because of it's shock value to the 'Shadows' and because I
liked Chris Whitaker's stories (even if I was grossed out by the way
the Ranma characters all died). Also, I couldn't resist mentioning my
first Ranma 'universe' from my 'Ranma-ototo' series (on RAAC now!)
As for the scoreboard, some of the listed combinations were just my
imagination, some from various fanfics that I've read, and some were
just there for joke value. I can't list where each came from (I'm not
sure were some of them originated myself), but one does deserve a
special mention. The tally entry with 'Ranma and Kentaro' referred to
Richard Lawson's 'Thy Outward Part' series. I didn't indicate Ranma's
sex in that tally entry since that series is all about Ranma's physical
sex not being important. Nice job Richard., even if I kept hoping Akane
would get back with Ranma in it, mainly because Richard kept providing
the opportunities for them to do so. That was just plain mean of him,
by the way.
The heart locket is from "Descents and Inversions' (by Ross McKenzie)
and 'Converging series' (by various authors). I always try to give a
nod of thanks (I'd have never started writing fanfics myself if it
wasn't for my stumbling across them on the net) and praise to other
fanfic authors when I can fit it in my stories. And of course this
story nods to allot of authors.
If you didn't guess it already, Shadow-A stood for Shadow-Akane and
Shadow-B stood for Shadow-Baka. Akane must have named those characters.
The 'celebration song' at the end is of course the Ranma 1/2 TV series
first season opening song, the most addictive and annoyingly pleasant
song I've ever heard. It also seemed appropriate for the ' My heart is
not a game' lyrics, since the Shadows were playing games with
universes.
This almost became a lemonfic near the end, but I decided against it
(not really my style anyway). It gets lemonish in a few spots, but
never gets THAT bad. Although Ryoga would bleed to death if he read
this story.
Oh, 'R.S.G.' stands for Real Smart Guy (see the excerpt at the
beginning of the story).
For those of you who have not heard about or visited the 'Plum's Sex
shop for Jusenkyo Cursed People', it caters to Jusenkyo cursed people,
of course. Mostly liquids that don't cause the 'change' to happen,
magazines showing various cursed people (published by Nabiki Tendo
Enterprises), and temporary potions to lock-in one of their cursed
forms for about a hour or so. Their biggest seller is the 'Curse
Splitter (R)', which lets cursed people separate into two beings and
have sex with themselves for around an hour. Their motto is: 'Don't let
your curse get in the way of a great sex life! (TM)'. Yes, I do know
I'm a sick puppy sometimes.
I'd like to thank my pre-readers for helping me fine tune this story:
David Johnston, Anthony Pardilla, and Lathrop L Preston. David in
particular was helpful in making the fight scene work and expanding on
Nabiki's reactions to Ranma's rejection of her. Of course in the end,
any mistakes and botched characters are my fault.
Revision 1.0 - First posting (May 18, 1998)
