Their lips met in another kiss, but it wasn't her, it was someone else that he was falling for, and now she was falling. Laney held back the tears in her eyes as they welled up, she'd been waiting for four years to be with him, for him to notice her as something other than one of the 'guys' quite literally; but it was never going to be and she should have figured it out by now, no matter how hard she would wish, she'd never get him... She would never have her Corey.
Practice was over, it was typical that the band would spend time together, have a soda and some snacks and maybe even watch a movie, but not today. Laney couldn't take it anymore, Corey was always all over her and she couldn't take it anymore. She left early, telling the boys she wasn't feeling well, when in reality she just needed to be alone.
"Hey Lane, you sure you're okay to drive?"
"Yeah, I just need to get home. See you guys." She sped to her car, fumbling with her keys until she was able to collapse on her seat, trying to get her emotions inline. It had been like this for awhile, and she was sick of it, sick of crying and hurting waiting for herself to be noticed. She had decided long ago, but now it would happen. She wouldn't cry anymore, she was going to forget her emotions, they would still be there, but she wouldn't let them rule her life, she wouldn't feel them.
It was dark out as she rifled through the glove box, spilling most of its contents onto the passenger seat until her fingers brushed the small metal container of her pocket knife she kept in case of emergencies. Her eyes closed and she leaned her head back as she pulled it open and lowered it to her wrist, pressing it into the skin and hissing as she felt blood drip down her hand pooling in her palm as she moved the blade further down her arm, leaving a trail of wounds each releasing a different amount of blood.
Hurring she grabbed the spare hoodie on the seat parallel to her, pressing it against her cuts, before tying it tightly and starting her car, her parents wouldn't be home until the week after the following, so she didn't have to hide from them, she would be fine, alone, and happy until they came back from their vacation.
She didn't live far away from Corey's house, and in a matter of minutes she was walking into her bathroom, and pouring hydrogen peroxide onto her arm, and wrapping it in gauze before putting herself to bed with a solid line on her face.
.oO0Oo.
Her behavior continued on for the following days, she would bring herself to grojband's practice and then excuse herself early, using the knife in her car to cut her wrist or hips. She had become emotionless at practices, sitting alone while the others fooled around, or thought of new songs, only giving her input when asked. It was weird for the band, but for Laney, she was finally peaceful, not happy, but content.
.oO0Oo.
Laney walked into the garage, sighing to herself as she watched Corey wave goodbye to Madison, she looked at him questionable.
"She was over here earlier, but she had to go see her family, they're visiting." Laney only nodded in response, her sides and wrist throbbing from the previous night, she hadn't gone easy on herself. "Lanes, you okay?" She smiled nodding again, as she went to tune her bass. They waited for the twins together, spending most of their time working on solo's or lyrics. After the first hour of practice they ran into the garage.
"Sorry we're late! There was an emergency."
Corey sighed, "what kind of emergency?"
Kin and Kon smirked at each other, "a fangirl emergency." Corey looked at the two of them.
"Just go, we'll take the rest of the day off, you two go have fun." They smiled and ran off outside. Laney packed up her bass, putting back against the wall of Corey's garage, before turning to leave.
"Hey Lanes, wait up, are you okay, you've been really different lately-" He was cut off when his hand wrapped around her wrist as he tugged her back, a scream escaped Laney's lips. She turned and used her right hand to pull her arm free, refusing to meet his gaze her hair falling in front of her face as she stood pulling at her left sleeve in her hand. She peeked up at his face, his expression mixed with shock and worry for her.
"Sorry," she mumbled, "you just startled me, I didn't mean to scream... Sorry." She watched his face as she spoke, he wasn't listening or he simply didn't believe her, but it didn't matter in the end it wasn't good news for her.
He walked towards her, and she took a step back with each one he took until she was backed into the wall, he stood before her, taking her hand back and pulling it up to his face, prying at her fingers to let go of the fabric that she was clutching to keep her scars concealed. Her eyes grew wide as she stumbled over her words.
"Seriously Core, it's nothing, what are you doing? Please stop." It wasn't any use she bit her lip and closed her eyes as her tore the sleeve from her hand and pushed it up her arm.
The room was quiet, and Laney shifted her feet on the ground, her cheeks as red as her hair as his eyes looked over her wrist, the severe and ragged cuts that covered nearly half of her forearm. She kept waiting for him to speak, to yell and scream at her, telling her how stupid she was for putting her life in danger but he just stood there, his grip growing tighter.
She shifted her sight to her arm, making sure that they were actually there, and it wasn't just a dream. They were real, her arm was mauled, the cuts jagged and fresh, a few bruising around the outside. She let her head fall back down, a tear sliding down her cheek.
"Lanes..." He took a breath, trying to steady himself. "Why are you doing this?" She tried to pull her arm free, but he wasn't going to let go, not anytime soon.
"Please Core, just let go." She said quietly, her voice shaking as badly as her hands.
"You know I can't do that." His jaw was clenched tightly as he spoke. "Tell me why."
She shook her head, "no."
Corey sighed, "I'm going to be honest with you Laney. I'm not sure what to do, but I do know that I'm sure as hell not letting you go home to an empty house."
She tugged her arm again, but it was still no use, "I'll be fine, don't worry." She tried to give him a smile. His head shook.
"You and I both know that's a lie."
So, I am very aware that this would never happen, but I've been wanting to write something like this for a while, because I've been thinking about self harming for sometime now. So Laney's 17 in this and yes it would never happen on a show like grojband.
I hope you'll stick with it, and if you don't like this kind of thing then don't read it and don't leave me nasty reviews or anything.
I do like getting supportive reviews and hearing what you have to say so long as it isn't rude.
Thanks guys, and I'll be updating very soon.
