KISMET ON FIFTH AVENUE
Rafael Barba lived his entire life being focused, in control, and by most standards, unflappable in any situation that he encountered. His feelings lately, however, were so shaken and disturbed by other "forces" that clouded his thoughts.
Why did Olivia have to choose Tucker to be in a relationship with, let alone be sleeping with him. "God... WHAT!? Olivia Benson what are you thinking?" He allowed those thoughts to subconsciously leave his brain and reveal themselves as a audible utterance for the outside world to hear. He snapped out of this reverie, shook his head nervously, and held his face in his hands for quite some time. He questioned rhetorically to himself whether the relationship was over; Was Benson still with Tucker? His last altercation with her was not pleasant, and basically he let her know, under no uncertain terms, that he didn't want to talk with her. He was incredulous.
"When did you plan on telling me?" She didn't answer him. Olivia was silent which was highly unusual...Olivia always knew how to defend herself and think on her feet.
This time she didn't even speak….didn't raise an argument… Barba could tell that Liv was sorry that it was out there…exposed. She and Tucker were together. Hmmm, what do you know? All this talk about her personal life with Noah, giving advice to her, all of these slight nuances of her life that he was privy to, and she still didn't think to mention that they were "together."
Yikes, now it was turning his stomach.
He recollected dismissing Liv abruptly from his office. "As of right now...this conversation is over," Liv stared at him, shook her head in disbelief as if to say "I can't believe you're doing what you're doing right now Barba." She slowly, pensively, took her coat off of the chair, and silently left the office.
A compilation of slightest nuances of that moment had Barba was in such deep thought, that he didn't even hear Sonny Carisi open the door or enter the office. For once, the signature Staten Island brashness and cacophony of Barisi simply entering a room wasn't even noticed. If anything Sonny had to break Barba from the depth of his mournful gaze while staring out the window of his impeccably appointed office.
"Hey there, uh…Hellooooo… I just asked you whether you wanted to go out for a quick bite; You haven't been eating..I'm worried about you Barba, I really am, honestly. You might not think that I notice these things, but I do, ya know? You're not yourself. Come on we're both guys here, you can talk to me. Let's go out to this new place in Midtown...great deli sandwiches...come on."
Barba raised his big green eyes at Carisi, almost as if he was going to take him up on the offer. Still within his thoughts, however, he went with his visceral sense and attorney's inner rationale and reasoning which took over, (as if he ever went against that, even in affairs of the heart) and instead replied "No, no, you go ahead...I have someplace else I have to go tonight...You go on...we're both working hard, I'll see you tomorrow okay?"
Carisi looked at him, and concerned furrowed his brow. "Okay.. Well…Whatever you wanna' do...Hey Counselor...Loo, just know I'm here for ya, but you know that right?" Barba mustered a wan smile, and politely responded "Yes, I know that Carisi, thank you. I would let you know."
Actually, Barba did not lie to Carisi; He did have something to do after work, and it involved bringing him to a small, upscale men's clothing store in the heart of Midtown Manhattan. He truly felt that needed something "new"...something to cheer him up, to bring him out of this doldrum...anything; something...he almost didn't care what it was. Just anything to get his mind off Olivia...who she was with...where that relationship stood..and the fact that nothing could truly ever be the same between them. Even if apologies were made, he was not sure whether it was the panacea - the cure all –the magic formula that would make everything go away. The fact that she could not open up to him. He shook his head, and tried to dismiss the thoughts, and walked over to one of the display tables with various silk ties and accessories. He needed something different...something bright…something… new.
As he was perusing the table, a voice came from behind the counter off to the side of the selling area. "They're all brand new, they came in yesterday from Europe, all silk on the most part." Barba turned around to the middle aged, strawberry blond saleswoman who had filled in the void of silence which he was wondering around with for the past few hours, at the very least. He forgot to count how many hours he spent allowing his feelings to consume him.
"Everything is new here really, I'm new to the store myself. I got hired last week, but I've been restocking the merchandise and learning about the merchandise, so I'm pretty versed now on their line; I can answer about any of the items in the store, so just ask. I don't like to brag about it, but I consider myself a tie aficionado. Ask the guys I know, they'll tell you!" She smiled, and then let him be. She thought she said something wrong or bad because he looked at her so blankly. She went over behind the counter and looked at herself in the mirror making sure there was nothing off about her appearance, but then dismissed her own self-consciousness and self-deprecating tendencies. Katrina Ann Haley...get over yourself; Leave him be...he's not a talker, you can see that. You try so hard, just shut up will ya and let him do his thing.
This girl...no not really a girl...she was a woman...she was ...very friendly..How can anyone be this friendly and just know you a few minutes? Well, not that there is anything wrong with that quality I suppose, Barba thought to himself. He was always so cautious of people...he had seen so much violence and hostility in his life...in his career; Every day both he and Benson encountered criminals who performed heinous crimes; In this great big city with criminals who not only think out, but act out in horrific, terrifying ways, here is this friendly, outgoing person who just wants to please. She probably works very hard for her paycheck; Considering her job, she more than likely does not live on Park Avenue, but more so in the outskirts of the city, or even on the Island, and even then, she can just barely make ends meet. She probably spends just that amount for her work clothes, yet she is clean, neat, and elegant. Through all of it, she is happy, smiling, and helpful...How can this be? What is in her nature that allows her to rise above all other things? He gives in to his own pessimism, and realizes that it is a gift to have that quality...We shouldn't take a personality like this for granted, it's rare and uniqiue
He came out of his doldrums slowly, cautiously, but with reverence and respect. Don't be a jerk Barba, just be nice, allow yourself to step outside your zone, and open up to other possibilities that are out there. Things are not happening in other directions, so just...step outside the comfort zone.
"Umm... I ...uh...saw a tie clip rack; An entire rack that was here around this area last week, and now it isn't here, I really liked one that was on there, it was gold and silver mixed together...and ,..."
Katrina replied eagerly with bright eyed puppy dog enthusiasm "Oh, I know the rack that you're talking about; They are going to restock it and put it back out after inventory. You've got great taste, that jewelry line is a big seller; It will be returned to the floor after our manager gets done with the inventory."
'Okay Katrina, he's trying to open up, give him a chance for pity sake, this isn't a Kumbaya moment like at Saint Patrick's at Peace be with you time, this is everyday life...everyone has different personalities...not everyone is Miss Mary Sunshine like you, get over yourself,' with her inner voice that she had a habit of scolding herself with, quite often unnecessarily and superfluously, always looking for reassurance, but not from anyone else so much, as she is within herself.
When it comes back out on the floor, I can call you and let you know that it's here and ready." Barba was pleasantly taken aback by her kind offer, but informed her of his delicate position that he was in from an occupational standpoint. "Well, I work at the D.A.'s office, and generally we do not give out our numbers for obvious reasons, but, let's see..I would really like that item...How should we do this, I don't want it to sell out before I get the chance to purchase it"
"Well, hold on...I can't call you which is fine, and I understand your position, but I tell you what; You can call me at the store in about a week." She takes her business card out of the antique credenza behind her, and hands it to him. As she is doing this, she notices his beautiful, well manicured hands as he takes the card gently from her fingers into his hand. "Oh gosh... This guy is way different from the ones I know; Everything about him exudes class...extremely self-assured. Without even asking, I can tell, he's well educated, it's written all over him."
He looks at the card, and as if on auto-pilot, his cross skills kick in. "Katrina...Katrina Haley.. so... what lineage is that?" He was trying to summise what her background was. The alabaster complexion… Green eyes, but unlike the blue-green glimmer of his own, Katrina had more of a hazel spectrum…and lastly, strawberry blonde hair. Katrina answered quickly and volunteered more information than what was expected, but that wasn't too unusual for her. It's a combination of German and Irish; Katrina..German Side...Haley, Irish Side. What can I say? Pale skin, red hair, I tell long stories, and sunburn quickly, so hey, there you go!" followed by a blush of the face and a nervous school girl giggle.
She volunteered the information eagerly, quickly, with a rat-a-tat pentameter. Katrina's gregarious nature took over and said "Well you know, I've told you a lot about me so far, but it occurs to me that you never quite got around to providing me with your name, and as brash as I am, I'm not brave enough to say 'Hey You' when you walk through the door next time."
Barba offered his hand to shake hers. "Barba..Rafael Barba. There was something different about this handshake though...Not the type when he meets with even female colleagues, or Rita Calhoun during a plea deal. he was cognizant to soften it down...to bring the firmness down to a more gentile caress versus the grasp utilized during a negotiation...With Katrina Haley it was different...and he felt a familiarity...just something that clicked.
Katrina broke the spell by asking "Barba...some derivative of a Latin..uh..Hispanic background from the sound of it." "Yes, Cuban actually" Barba replied with an enthusiastic lilt to his voice. "Oh well...I don't speak it too well with my one semester at night school, but I do happen to love Cuban food. 'Copelia's' happens to be my favorite.' Barba's bright green eyes and boyish grin lit his face. "Oh my, that's my favorite one too...Ironic you should say that.'
What is it about him? She is trying to find out what her feelings are. She just emerged from a horrible relationship with someone so dishonest and surreptitious about his feelings... How can she guard herself again from this happening? 'Katrina...be careful...take a few steps back...don't let yourself be hurt again...don't open the wounds of your heart that only just began to heal. You fall so quickly...you're a hopeless romantic: Remember that about yourself.'
She snaps back into her professional demeanor and countenance, and looks into his eyes with purpose...knowing that she wanted to make a promise that she could keep. "Well, Mr Barba..you have my card, and don't forget to call me. I can get that shined up for you and everything in our jewelry department, nicely wrapped and ready to go."
Barba allows a grin to start in the one corner of his mouth and eventually spread across his face, "Well Miss Haley.. Wait... is it Miss?" Katrina quickly replied without any hesitation "yes, it's Miss; I was never married. Oh please, don't go through all that, just call me Katrina, I much prefer it." Barba continued "Well then, fine…Katrina… I will call you in that week and see if they're available yet."
Katrina smiled demurely back at him, "Oh, it will all be good, don't worry... I look forward very much to seeing you again Mr. Barba," She slowly turned away and walked to the back of the store, but turned at the stockroom door, and gave a light, dainty feminine wave and flickering of her fingers.
Barba walked out of the store onto the busy midtown Manhattan sidewalk, now bustling with night time frivolity, energy, and enthusiasm of its residents and visitors alike that make that amazing city come alive, giving it a reputation as a city of excitement and hope. He thought to himself that on his return visit to the store, he would bring forth a more amicable demeanor. He found himself in good spirits on the way home, and the days ahead were actually something to look forward to, versus simply dates on a calendar pad, with a plethora appointments, copious notes, deadlines, briefs and arraignments. The week ahead held promise and expectation. He glanced at the simple straight-forward, yet elegant ivory business card again before putting it safely into his wallet.
"Miss Katrina Haley... Here's to meeting you again."
