Ishwari heaved over the toilet, but nothing came out. This had been going on for two weeks now and so far she'd managed to keep it hidden from Pagan, but sooner or later he'd find out. She knew he'd noticed her eating less and had inquired several times as to why. She'd told him she wasn't feeling hungry, but in truth merely the thought of eating made her dry retch most of the time. Ishwari was terrified of Pagan's reaction, he'd told her he loved and he treated Ajay as his own, but they hadn't been together that long and she had no idea how he would feel about becoming a father, it was not something they'd ever discussed. Honestly, the fact that she was even pregnant was a surprise. Sure, she and Pagan had been more than a little careless when it came to protection, but it had taken so long for Ishwari to fall pregnant with Ajay, she had simply assumed it wouldn't happen.
And yet underneath all her anxieties, Ishwari couldn't help but feel a little excitement. She actually wanted this baby and she wanted to raise it with Pagan.
"Ishwari," Pagan knocked on the bathroom door, "Are you nearly done?"
Ishwari stared at the empty toilet bowl and flushed it.
"I'll be out in a second."
She moved to the sink and washed her hands, if there was one good thing about living in the palace it was access to proper bathrooms. How had she lived beforehand?
She opened the door and saw Pagan lying lazily on the bed. He smiled at her as she entered the room.
Ishwari took a deep breath, deciding that now was the time to tell him. He'd already mentioned that he'd carved out the day for just the two of them and had assured her he had someone taking care of Ajay. Regardless of how he reacted, now was probably the best time to do so.
"Pagan, we need to talk."
His smile disappeared at her tone.
"Is something wrong?" He asked gently.
"No, nothing's wrong. But I do have something important to discuss with you."
He sat up on the bed and motioned for her to sit next to him. Ishwari complied and sat on the bed, hands fidgeting in her lap.
"So you know, how you pointed out that I've been eating less?"
"Yes."
"Well that's because for the past two weeks I've been throwing up most food I eat."
Pagan nodded, his voice heavy with concern, "Do you need a doctor? I can-"
"No, I mean yes, actually- oh for fuck's sake," Ishwari cursed at herself.
Pagan raised an eyebrow, now thoroughly confused. Ishwari never swore.
"Give me your hand," she ordered.
Pagan offered it to her without a word.
Ishwari took his hand and placed it gently on her belly, "Pagan, I'm pregnant."
Pagan blinked at her, glancing down at her stomach and then back at her, taking in the meaning of what she'd just said.
Wordlessly, he pulled her towards him and kissed her, Ishwari felt his smile against her lips. She slowly guided his hands, which had moved from her stomach to her waist when he pulled her close, back towards her belly. She was not yet showing, but regardless she wanted Pagan to feel the life growing inside.
Pagan broke the kiss and looked at her.
"Am I really going to be a father?" He asked, still not quite sure if this was really happening.
Ishwari nodded, tears forming in her eyes.
Pagan noticed and immediately panicked, "What's wrong."
Ishwari laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes, "Nothing, I'm just so relieved you're happy. I wasn't sure if-"
"If what? The big, bad dictator wouldn't want it? I love you, Ishwari. And nothing could make me happier right now than the thought of us having a child."
"I love you too, Pagan," she said and leaned in for another kiss.
This day was going to be a very good day.
