Frodo's Playtime

Summary: Frodo always wanted a big family, so he assigns Thorin to be the father, Bilbo the mother and the Company, the uncles, aunts, and cousins. (After the BOFA)

Setting: The Shire

Frodo is 6 years old

Thorin x Bilbo

"Have you heard?" The owner of the Greendragon Inn said as he dried the mugs. The Hobbits set aside their ale and leaned in, they were always ready for a good or old rumor in the Shire.

"Mr. Bilbo has been acting rather…odd," The owner emphasized, "We all heard the tales of his disappearance?" giving his regular customers a dubious look. They all nodded and their mouths instantly jumped from what they have heard or seen of Mr. Bilbo Baggins on that particular day.

"I heard he brought back mountains of gold and jewels!" A curly-haired waitress said as she clutched the new batch of ale on the counter.

"Well, I heard he has gone mad with the riches!" another Hobbit highlighted.

"That must be the reason for his queer behavior," an older Hobbit spoke aloud, smoking his long wooden pipe.

"Tis a shame that-" The owner was cut off by the hooded visitors who abruptly left. They stared till they left and went back to their bickering.

/

Frodo was breathless and sweaty as he opened the door, waving a last farewell to Mary and Pippin. He quietly closed the door without interrupting Bilbo in the kitchen; carefully hiding the sack of freshly picked mushrooms in his back. Holding his breath in each step, Frodo leaned against the wall and scooted his way to the other side of the house. Inching closer to the doorway of the kitchen, Frodo poked his head out to see Bilbo scurrying to prep dinner. As soon as Bilbo's back was turned, Frodo dashed passed the kitchen and pantry with a big smile on his face, but was caught off guard with a whack on the head with a wooden spatula.

"Stealing mushrooms in Old Maggot's farm again?" Bilbo placed the hand towel over his shoulder.

"I didn't steal mushrooms," Frodo rubbed his head.

"Then what do you have behind your back?" Bilbo crossed his arms, patiently waiting for Frodo to confess.

"I got them for you," Frodo gave his best smile and handed the bag of mushrooms to Bilbo.

"It is pass your curfew, go take a bath and then help with the table." Bilbo quirked his eyebrows and took the bag. Frodo nodded and dashed.

"That Frodo Baggins," Bilbo shook his head with a smile.

10 minutes later, Frodo walked out of the bathroom with his two-piece blue pajamas and followed the hearty aroma coming from the kitchen - neglecting that he should never skip Bilbo's homemade meals. Tossing the fluffy wet towel in the laundry basket, Frodo strolled in the kitchen waiting for his orders. Bilbo handed Frodo the plates and silverware as he went back to stirring the boiling vegetables, checking the chicken potpies and flipping the freshly caught fish.

Frodo took baby steps towards the dining room and set out the essentials in proper order: plates in the center, forks on the left, and the spoons and knives on the right. Frodo hummed to himself and placed wild dandelions he found in the forest as the centerpiece. Folding the napkins neatly on the plates, Frodo set off to get the mugs, but was stopped by the heavy knocks from the door. Frodo casually walked over and swung it open.

"Oh." They all said in unison. Frodo hesitated.

"Excuse me," Frodo said politely and instantly shut the door, "Bilbo! There are a dwarves outside!" Frodo whispered loudly.

"Dwarves?" Bilbo was just setting the food down and walked over with great suspicion. Bilbo opened the door and found Dwalin and Balin standing on his porch.

Bilbo stood speechless. Dwalin and Balin bowed low and swindled their way in.

"My! My! You haven't changed at all!" Dwalin looked around as he hung his coat on the hangers. Dwalin aged finely and had grown his beard with beads in his braids and fresh tattoos along his battered forearm.

"Tis good to see ya, lad!" Balin smiled and hanged his coat as well. Balin seemed to keep his age a mystery as his beard grown whiter and longer. One by one, in came Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Nori, Ori, Dori stacking their coats and lining their muddy boots against the wall.

"Well, if it isn't our Expert Treasure Hunter!" Gloin winked at Bilbo and walked towards the pantry.

"You haven't changed your manners as well," Bilbo eyed the weather stained hoods that dripped on his polished floors.

"Bilbo!" Kili and Fili threw their arms to embrace the Hobbit. Bilbo gave them reassuring pats and glanced on how royal they looked without their armor. Fili had golden fabric as Kili went for a darker green, but were dressed in the same style robe tucked in a brown leather belt, embedded with sapphires.

"Kili! Fili! Help us with the tables!" The brothers laughed and walked towards the dining room. Not again! Bilbo panicked – He didn't want another ransacking of his pantry! Before Bilbo could leap into another anxiety attack, Thorin stepped in.

"It has been a while, Master Baggins," Thorin bowed. Bilbo flustered at Thorin's demeanor and overall appearance, gawking at his dark blue robe, loosely fastened with a black leather belt at his midsection – Bilbo admires people who dressed well. Bilbo stood still for a few moments, reminiscing how they argued, criticized and shared their deepest feelings with one another.

Thorin cleared his throat.

"Ah! Y-yes! It has been a while! Please come in!" Bilbo blushed – how rude of him for keeping a guest at the door. Bilbo ducked his head and gestured Thorin inside his home. Thorin obeyed, and took off his fur hood and dirty boots.

Thorin walked in, observing every detail in Bilbo's home: books and parchments were hoarded around the house, little trinkets were scattered neatly on the shelves, pots of flowers were well watered near the window sills, and the two small treasure chest that Bilbo departed with when he left Erebor. Thorin grimaced at the fresh memory he stored when Bilbo travelled back home with mournful eyes that were imprinted into his dreams. Thorin's eyes flickered; he knew this feeling when he first saw the Lonely Mountain – the feel of belonging.

"Bilbo, do you know them?" Frodo tugged Bilbo's trousers. Thorin immediately snapped to the smaller hobbit, clutching Bilbo's pants. Eyes widen, Thorin turned towards the Company.

"We have interrupted Master Baggins and the Misses," Thorin's announced. The Company groaned as they set the last block of cheese on the table.

"There is no mistress here, I can be certain of that!" Bilbo stuttered as he closed the door. The Company were lost in-between theirs Kings words and the Hobbit.

"The lad?" Thorin's pointed at the brown-haired Hobbit with utter confusion.

"The names Frodo," Frodo peaked his head out, "The cousin of Bilbo and his heir!" Frodo said in defense.

"Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thráin, son of Thrór, and King under the Mountain," Thorin bowed.

"BILBO TOLD ME LOTS ABOUT YOU!" Frodo screamed in excitement. Bilbo patted Frodo's head like a pup, and heard his silverwares scratching!

"Well, they are making themselves comfortable again, "Bilbo sulked. He peeked over to his empty pantry, cleaned out and displayed on the tables. Bilbo grabbed two more chairs and lit a few candles – those boots were starting to smell like death.

Frodo sat on Bilbo's lap as Thorin took the spot to his right. Not a moment has passed and Frodo was talking again, pointing his small finger at each dwarf.

"Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Kili, Fili, Dwalin, Balin, Dori, Nori, Ori and Thorin!" Frodo pointed correctly at all of them. "I'm Frodo Baggins!"

"Well, tis an honor to meet another Baggins!" Bofur smiled, "how did ya know our names, little one?"

"Bilbo drew your faces in his sketchpad!" They all stared at Bilbo.

"Frodo, its rude to go through ones belonging," Bilbo said sternly, slightly blushing on the true fact that he drawn everyone's face.

"mm'sorry," Frodo gave Bilbo his best apologetic face. Bilbo's face morphed into a smile and kissed his curly head – those darn pup eyes!

"We have a competition at the table," Fili muttered loudly.

"May I brew some tea," Dori said. "I stumbled upon some ingredients on the way, and I do say it is quiet lovely."

"Yes, of course," Bilbo set Frodo on his seat and walked with Dori to the kitchen.

"Aren't you supposed to be home, ruling the mountain?" Frodo popped his head toward Thorin.

"Sometimes Kings need breaks, so we decided to visit Bilbo!" Fili said.

"More like kidnap," Kili corrected his brother. Frodo eyes shot up with a story.

"D-Did you know that Bilbo was kidnapped by a stalker! And then-"

"FRODO!" Bilbo yelled at the entrance of the kitchen, Frodo quickly stuffed a potato in his mouth. "Don't mind him, he babbles on and on," Bilbo gave a scolding look at Frodo, but the rest of the company already had their ears tuned to the conversation.

"Has this 'stalker' done more than kidnap you?" Thorin said sternly. Bilbo recognizes those cold eyes anywhere, but this time it hade a hint of – guilt.

"That is none of your concern," Bilbo placed both hands on his hips.

"Did you know this stalker?" Balin said with a worried look.

"It was Farmer Puddifoot!" Frodo covered his mouth before Bilbo sends him to bed without dinner.

"Lets change the topic!" Bilbo went to help Dori with the tea. The Company seemed to avert the conversation to a tale when Dwalin courted Ori. As the story finished, they hollered and teased Ori, clinking their teas and ale in the air, reciting the lines Dwalin told. Frodo didn't quite understand as Bilbo covered his ears most of the time. At the end of dinner, Bilbo caught a glimpse of Thorin in deep thought.

/

Frodo beamed with amazement as the dwarves were throwing, spinning, and juggling the plates and silverware. Minutes later, they were neatly stacked and cleaned in the kitchen counter as a very exhausted hobbit, commanded them to the living room.

"That was fun! Bilbo told me that a family who eats together, stays together!" Frodo chose to sit on the floor as the dwarves took their spots on the stools, chairs, and stacks of books.

"Wise words," Bombur commented.

"Why do you guys have beads in your hair?" Frodo looked around.

"It is the sign of friendship or is given when courting!" Gloin stated.

"Does that mean you don't have a lover and friends?" Frodo peered over Thorin, who sat at the end of the newly ordered love seat.

"I do not need beads to show true love or companionship, I know in my heart they are loyal and trustworthy," Thorin watched as Frodo digested what he said.

"B-But wouldn't you want something to remember them?" Frodo finally spoke, "we hobbits loves gifts and giving gifts." Thorin shifted his eyes in thought.

"Frodo you'll catch a cold if you sit on the floor, come here," Bilbo sat at the other end of the loveseat, as Frodo climbed in the middle.

"I have a few rooms to spare for tonight," Bilbo said, brushing Frodo's hair.

"We are grateful for you hospitality," Thorin said.

"This is like playing house!" Frodo said with glee in his eyes.

"House?" Oin said.

"Yeah!" Bilbo's hands were waving frantically in there air.

"Bilbo can be the mommy," Bilbo blinked repeatedly…mother?

"Thorin is the daddy," Thorin turned his head and then up at Bilbo, who was flushed red.

"Kili, Fili, are my brothers," They both high-fived each other.

"Bifur, Bofur, Bombur are the cousin" They nodded – cant be worse than a pet.

"Dwalin, Balin, Oin, Gloin are the uncles!"

"And Ori, Dori, Nori are the aunties!" The trio chocked on their pipes.

"How come I am the aunt?" Nori said, "I choose to change my status to be the Uncle."

"Quiet down! The lad already chosen!" Gloin protested. They were yelling back and forth and somehow the whole company was arguing.

"I will not be a maid!"

"You can merely pick up an axe!"

"You have barely grown a beard! You shall be the aunt!"

"I am twice the warrior you'll ever be!"

"You are far too old! Maybe a grandfather is better suited!"

"Ozirum menu seleku!" [you couldn't forge a spoon!]

"You have not seen many battles to be called a warrior!"

"I have more golds and jewels!"

"The eldest gets to pick, tis by law!"

"The law states for you to be the step-brother!"

"ENOUGH!" Thorin massaged his headache. There was a long pause till Frodo's yawn broke the tension.

"I guess its bed time," Bilbo held Frodo in his arms. "I'll show you to the guest bedrooms." Dwalin fell asleep on the stool, Balin prefer the love seat, Dori, Ori and Nori had a room, Bifur, Bombur, Bofur had another room, Kili and Fili demanded to protect their little Master from harm, so they slept in Frodo's room. Leaving Thorin with Bilbo.

Bilbo faced the wall, forcing his eyes shut as Thorin opened the door, wearing his plain tunic and slacks. Awkwardly shifting in his sheets, Bilbo felt the covers lift as Thorin scooted himself inside the bed. The bed was large enough to fit two hobbits, but having a dwarf, their skins were touching. Bilbo could feel his skin heat like a furnace and peeled off half the blanket to his hips.

"I apologize for the companies behavior," Thorin broke the silence.

"I am no stranger to you or the company, I actually enjoyed the dispute, especially Frodo," Bilbo spoke. The atmosphere felt at ease when Bilbo heard a few low chuckles from Thorin.

"Goodnight, burglar," Bilbo felt the bed bounce as Thorin turned.

"Goodnight, King under the Mountain," Bilbo said sarcastically and exhaled - for once he didn't have nightmares.


I hope ya'll enjoyed this!