TG has started pestering EB.
TG: dude john
EB: yeah dave?
TG: john my back hurts like a bitch
EB: haha that sucks!
EB: but seriously are you okay?
TG: yeah
TG: yeah i think ill be okay
TG: i just got to get used to these fuckers is all
EB: um, what are you talking about?
TG: im in the hospital for that fucking operation thing
EB: oh yeah that's right! You told me last week. How's the surgery going by the way? sorry i forgot
TG: not as bad as i thought
TG: this was my first day out of four though
TG: its probably going to get worse before it gets better
EB: gee, sorry to hear that man
EB: is there anything i can do to help?
TG: nah its not like you could do anything
TG: and-fuck
TG: fuck
TG: FUCK
EB: hey what's wrong? Is your backing hurting again? Get some pain killers or something
TG: nah its my hand
TG: they injected something into it
EB: What the hell did they put in your hand!? i'm not a scientist, but i dont think that's normal
TG: i
TG: i dont know
TG: but its making it hurt like hell
TG: and its getting all discolored and shit
EB: you have to know! What the fuck
TG: theyre not telling me shit
EB: What hospital are you at? i'll come right over!
TG: sorry dude they dont let visitors in
EB: i don't care, whatever they're doing it probably isn't legal
EB: or safe
TG: aah fuck
TG: dude
TG: its fucking turning black
EB: isn't there a phone nearby!? call someone, i don't know!
EB: Where are you?
TG: some hospital in houston
TG: bro wanted me to get this shit done for some reason
EB: That doesn't help me at all dude i'm all the way in Washington. there could be like 30 hospitals there
TG: really i have no idea how im going to sleep at night with these things on my back
EB: w-what things?
TG: well they uhh
TG: umm
EB: this is really creeping me out,
TG: they might have surgically attached two gigantic crow wings onto my back
EB: what the fuck, you're joking right?
TG: nope
TG: they have feathers and everything
EB: this can't seriously be happening
TG: yeah its sort of becoming a fad among parents
TG: damn though these things are really heavy and bulky
TG: yeah i think roses mom was thinking about doing it too
TG: rose told me that theyd "do it together"
EB: this is so fucked up
TG: hehe yeah
TG: fu
TG: fuck
EB: man what if my dad wants to do that
TG: i doubt it
TG: i dont think hed have the heart
EB: i hope so
EB: sometimes i wonder
TG: about what
EB: he's just so... weird
TG: yeah but i dont think hes into the whole turning my kid into his monster thi-holy jesus christ
EB: what!?
EB: is it still happening?
TG: yeah
TG: fuck its getting scalely now
EB: how much is this going to change you
TG: fuck i dont know
EB: there has to be an antidote lying around somewhere
TG: my neck and hips are getting really fucking itchy
EB: couldn't your bro just buy a fucking bird? man, adults are so fucking stupid
TG: hehe i know
TG: ive seen other dudes here getting the same thing done to them
EB: who even does this it makes no sense
TG: youd be surprised
TG: one dude looks like hes half crab
EB: that's a weird animal to turn into
TG: yeah and theres some chick that looks like a spider
EB: eww spiders are so gross!
TG: she definitely doesnt look like a prize ill say that much
TG: oh fucking god
EB: what now?
TG: its fucking stretching and the fingers are getting longer and holy shit it hurts
EB: that, i cannot even
TG: it feels like my hands in one of those medieval torture devices
TG: jesus fuck
EB: you gotta fight this or something!
TG: i would but im kind of in extreme agony right now
EB: well yeah you're pretty much becoming a bird or whatever
TG: so you can see why im not really in the mood for fighting
EB: but i don't want to lose you
TG: dude im not completely becoming a bird
EB: i guess, but what if this 'fixes' behavior? like, make you some obedient child
EB: i mean, parents are doing it
TG: i hope not
TG: that crab dude didnt seem to have much of a personality change
TG: maybe its kind of like why people raise show dogs
EB: that's terrible, to your own kid
TG: i think bro did it to be ironic
EB: thats even worse
TG: like he hates the fad but did it anyway for the sake of irony
EB: you're supposed to be there transforming for four days right?
TG: yeah but i think the last day is just a recovery day
EB: i see
EB: dammit, i feel so useless
TG: dont dude
EB: how the hell am i not supposed to?
G: if it makes you feel any better i think i have the hospitals name on this piece of paper they gave me now that i think about it
EB: that's great
TG: let me just reach over and
TG: okay its st francis hospital
TG: cant tell you exactly where its at in houston though
EB: i bet i could get my dad to fly us over
EB: and we could sneak you out
TG: what are you some kind of ninja dude
EB: yes i am one, duh
EB: have you noticed how heavy the security is there?
TG: i know its hard as fuck getting things inside the place
EB: hmm...
EB: what if
TG: what
EB: we went
EB: below
TG: what like digging my way out
EB: yup, my dad sells explosives
EB: he's really weird
TG: ...
EB: really weird...
TG: uhh how about i just pick these windows open and fly out
TG: it cause a lot less damage
TG: and bloodshed
EB: ...
EB: ...guess your plan is okay
TG: well it would
TG: this isnt like one of your shitty action movies
EB: they are not shitty! they're cool
TG: whatever dude
TG: how long will it take for you to get your ass here
EB: by plan it shoulde be in about 5 hours
EB: can you hold up till then
TG: i think theyre calling me in for one more quick eye exam before then
TG: but yeah i should be good
EB: perfect
TG: holy shit dude
TG: you know how i said my hips were getting itchy
EB: yeah
TG: there are these little black things growing out of them
EB: dude what
TG: yeah there coming out of my neck too
EB: now i wish i paid attention in biology class
TG: heh and you call yourself an ectobiologist
EB: there's a difference between biology and ectobiology smartass
TG: still has biology in it dipstick
EB: still don't see any ecto in it, fuckbreath
TG: shut it did you ask your dad yet
EB: Oh yeah, give me a sec
EB ceased pestering TG
Be John =
It's 4AM. You step away from your keyboard and stumble across the dark hallway of the house until reaching your Dad's room. If there's one rule in the Egbert house, it is to never, NEVER, enter Dad's room. Taking a breath to calm yourself, you knock on the door. "Dad?" You call out. No reply. This time, calling out louder, a light shines through the door. Not a moment later your Dad cracks open his door, leaving you squinting at the bright light suddenly showering over you. "Um, Dad. This is going to sound crazy, but we need to go to Houston!" You ask, still adjusting to the light, "I have to rescue a friend, I'm not entirely sure what's happening to him, but he needs me." You have a father-son stare off for about 2 minutes until he gives in with a shrug, retreating into his room to pack.
EB has started pestering TG
EB: yeah, he's packing now
TG: you should thank god hes a pushover
EB: could be all those stupid betty crocker sweets he's always eating
TG: theyve brainwashed him into becoming an obedient servant
EB: as long as he's not obeying the hospital staff we should be good
TG: damn those black things are getting bigger
EB: don't panic, it'll speed up the process
TG: well its kind of hard not to be freaked out by this shit
TG: that and my hand still hurts like a stubborn bitch
EB: tell me about it
EB: i'm surprised you can still type
TG: yeah im typing with my normal hand
TG: it hasnt spread to it yet
EB: lets keep it that way
EB: my dad has finished packing
TG: about damn time
EB: i'll message you when we arrive
TG: alright i think theyre calling me for that exam anyway
EB: good luck
TG: i appreciate your support dude
EB ceased pestering TG
