Breaking the Habit by Armed and Fabulous

Memories consume

Like opening the wound

I'm picking me apart again

You all assume

I'm safe here in my room

Unless I try to start again

Hermione glared at the window. Her prison. Most people would only see her room, but she saw a prison. A horrible, gilded cage that had no exit, no escape.

I don't want to be the one

The battles always choose

Cause inside I realize

That I'm the one confused

How the hell should I know what I want? I'm so confused. Every battle I fight in I seem to fight in the heart of.

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way

I know it's not alright

So I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit tonight

Every day, I'm picking fights with someone and I don't want to stop. None of the teachers even notice I'm in at least one duel a day, and usually a fit-fight, too. My friends don't notice it either. Well, if you can call them friends. They don't know anything about me and they don't seem interested in anything about me. O don't think they'd even care if I killed myself. And I know that I wasn't supposed to be this hard and cynical but I am. Hermione is really My, a cold hearted, sarcastic, cynical bitch.

Clutching my cure

I tightly lock the door

I try to catch my breath again

I hurt much more

Than anytime before

I have no options left again

And I'm holding on to my "medicine" and I'm locking the door and every time I do it I'm losing even more of myself but I just can't stop. I can't stop and every time I use my cure, every time I do this part of Hermione dies and Hermione is almost completely dead and soon all there was, all there is, all there will be is My. Not Hermione. My. And I just can't stop, because the sex is so irresistible and I know Blaise feels the same way, and we could care less about the sides we're on, I don't know if he's a Death Eater or not and I don't care.

I don't want to be the one

The battles always choose

Cause inside I realize

That I'm the one confused

Always at the heart of the battle with my two swords that I've made so that I can use them like wands too. Taking the most wounds, killing or taking prisoner the most people, but everything I do, the credit is given to Harry and I'm too confused, too high on battle- fever to stop it until it's too late.

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way

And I don't know if all of this is worth fighting for. Sometimes I don't think Harry has any chance, sometimes I just want to give up, or keep myself locked away in my world. I don't know how I got this way, how Hermione died. I don't think Hermione ever really existed. It was always My.

I'll never be alright

So, I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit tonight

I'll never be alright. Never. How could I ever be alright? A thousand years in drugs won't solve anything. Killing myself won't do much.

I'll paint it on the walls

Cause I'm the one that falls

I'll never fight again

And this is how it ends

I'll write it on something, make it unremovable and noticeable. I have to write something, make it last.

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

But now I have some clarity

To show you what I mean

I don't know how I got this way

I'll never be alright

So, I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit tonight

I'm trying to break this habit but it's just so hard. And I know that there is sweet release always waiting. I won't kill myself, but I can court death, embrace death like a lover in battle. I can take out so many before dying, be remembered as the girl who gave up her life for the light side, taking out more Death Eaters than anyone else. It's not something Hermione would do, but I'm My, not Hermione, and Hermione never existed, so I'm just gonna do this because I can't do anything else.

-Breaking the Habit by Linkin' Park