AN: I don't own Fitz, Marvel does. Big thanks to my amazing beta Anna J. Perley!
Lara sat on the porch of her family house, her legs dangling idly on the armrest of the wooden chair. She looked up to the sky, only to see dark clouds shielding the sunlight from her sight. It was normal considering it was already October but she just couldn't shake the bad feeling.
Colorful leaves on the ground rustled with the wind which was slowly gaining strength. She should have probably headed inside before the rain started pouring but she couldn't. It was so calm, yet so terrifying.
The eery silence of the nature caused goosebumps to appear on her arms. Lara finally stood up and made her way inside, still unable to shake the thought of the storm being a bad sign.
Lara O'Malie lived in a world where you didn't just date guys, marry one, find out he had cheated on you numerous times, and then get divorced. No . This was different.
It wasn't forbidden to date. Anyone could, but who would want to date some random lad when they knew there was someone else for them? The one, their second half, their destined one or as everyone knew them - soulmate.
When the age of eighteen was reached, every person, no matter the gender, was supposed to immediately visit so called Soulmate Office, though it resembled a hospital more than anything. It was necessary, for the soulmark appearing was a painful process. The mark could appear anywhere on person's body, there was no way to tell where until it begun engraving itself into the skin.
Lara always pondered where her mark would be. She wanted it to be seen so her soulmate would have it easier to tell that it was indeed her. She couldn't imagine the mortification if the mark would be, let's say, on her inner thigh and he would want to see it to make sure. She would be beet red. But it was pretty tricky. She knew one girl from school that was just three years older, who had her mark on the cheek. The place itself wasn't that bad but she had a swear word in it.
Lara was lying on her bed, hugging her pillows and wondering what her sentence would be. Some people were incredibly lucky to receive sentences such as 'I'm Reed Payne, nice to meet you!' and she prayed hers would be similar. And what about her soulmate? What would she say when she meets him? She hoped nothing weird or awkward, the poor guy would have to live with it written on his skin. She shuddered and promised herself to be careful around strangers once she had her mark.
Her mother had arranged a meeting with a doctor at the Soulmate Office for tomorrow. Lara would have to endure her birthday party before that and was really not looking forward to it. She'd be anxious all day, knowing what was awaiting her at the brink of midnight - the exact time she was born.
Her mother let her sleep in since she would have to stay awake for the whole day, not being able to take a nap with guests partying in their house.
She'd never been a party animal and she would be content with a small celebration with family and close friends, but her parents insisted on throwing a big party, inviting distant cousins and neighbors alike. You only turn eighteen once, and the whole soulmate thing was important for her parents since they found each other thanks to the marks before falling in love shortly after.
She was trying to find some fitting outfit for tonight's party. She didn't want to wear anything too revealing, but she wanted to look nice enough. She rummaged through her drawer, finding nothing that would fit her expectations.
The short pink dress was too short even if the salmon color was a great match with her long blond hair. Another dress she found, a sweet purple one, had an open back which was not really suited for the October weather, no matter the fact that the party was going to be inside.
After some time, she decided to ditch the idea of wearing any kind of skirt altogether and found a white blouse with high-waisted jeans instead. A skirt was not a good idea anyway; she didn't want the wrong kind of attention from all the drunk neighbors without soulmates.
Her outfit was appropriate; not too fancy but not too casual either. She picked black sandals with a smaller heel to complete the look and then moved onto the make-up. She's never been a big fan of it but she had to admit that it made her look better when properly applied. After putting on her white, pearl earrings she was ready to go.
Before the first guests arrived, Lara helped her parents a little by placing napkins and bowls of snacks her mother had ordered, occasionally rearranging things so it would all fit together on the table.
The beginning of the party went smoothly and she got some time to catch up with relatives she hadn't seen in quite a long time. Her aunt Julia, whom she had always particularly liked, maybe or maybe not for the ice cream she used to secretly give her when they visited, was only about nine years older than her and hadn't met her soulmate yet.
Nevertheless, she was happy and the optimism basically shone from her. Julia never let it get her down and it inspired Lara greatly when she was younger, but now she could barely hide the anxiety.
Would she be able to stand as strong as her aunt did after years of not meeting the one? And what if she couldn't?
Another two hours went by when she noticed more and more people carrying glasses filled with various types of alcohol. She was now sitting in her favorite chair outside. There was no one offering her drinks with common lines like 'It's your birthday! You have to! At least for me!' .
She tried to politely refuse all the drinks but it was getting harder with every passing minute, so she retreated to the considerably quieter outside. It wasn't cold yet, and she was comfortable enough, though the problem now was not the noise of the others but her own thoughts.
She was once again consumed by the endless pool of possible first words her one might say that would end up on her arm, and how the meeting with her soulmate would go if she'd ever meet him, or her. She was pretty sure of her sexuality, but what if she met a special girl and she wasn't so sure anymore?
And what if her soul mate turned out to be a criminal?
After the natural light started to fade and the air got chilly, Lara slipped back inside, trying to get to her room unnoticed, spending the rest of the day locked within it.
She could really use a shot of some strong liquor to ease her nerves, but it was advised to not drink before getting the soulmark as it would supposedly add to the pain.
The party would end in two hours, and then she would have one more before she had to visit the Soulmate Office. She was utterly glad for having her own bathroom connected to her room right now. She smelled of alcohol and she didn't like that at all.
Lara made sure all doors and windows were locked in case some unwanted visitor stumbled upon her room before hopping in the shower. The hot water did miracles for her tensed muscles and the soft scent of her lavender soap calmed her a little.
She had to blow dry her hair since the hair wouldn't dry properly in just an hour and half. When it came to her new outfit, she decided to go casual; she would have to wear a special hospital gown anyway.
Lara let her now-dry hair flow loosely onto her back in its natural straight state and dressed in a blue shirt with jeans.
She picked up the unfinished book from her night-stand and tried to focus on it before her nervousness spread even more. The book couldn't hold her attention for very long and she soon closed it, the dread of getting a soulmark, which would change her whole life one day, never ceasing.
Lara noticed the light rain that started while she was reading. She guessed it'd be like this from now on until December came around with snow. As she was listening to the soft pounding of raindrops on her window, she drifted off to a restless sleep.
Eventually, a loud banging on her door awakened her. She looked around confused, figuring out that she fell asleep and took an involuntarily nap. It was her mother, trying to get an answer from her since her door had remained locked.
"Honey, are you alright?" Lara realized her mother might be worried since she wasn't answering, so she quickly shouted something back just to reassure her of her presence in the room and unlocked the door.
She then told Lara that they were about to leave in 15 minutes. It wasn't much, and she'd have to hurry, but it was enough.
Lara changed into a new shirt, combed her hair, and didn't bother with any make-up. She rushed into the kitchen, seeing it empty. All the guests were long gone. She ignored the mess and promptly made herself a ham sandwich, though she would have to eat it in car.
Her mum knew how nervous she could get so she didn't push her. She let her eat silently the whole way to The Soulmate Office. She chewed on it, unable to finish it whole. The bread was too dry and she had troubles swallowing it.
Her stomach was uneasy as well, so she left the rest of the sandwich in her bag and focused on pushing away the worst case scenarios.
What if her soulmate lived on the other side of the world?
She was grateful her mother didn't talk to her right now. Lara was sure her voice wouldn't be steady at all.
They had to wait in the waiting room after she got pills from the nurse, it'd take some time until they start working. While her mind along with body began to feel numb, another thought crossed her mind upon glancing at the other people in the waiting room.
'Are they gonna meet their soulmates sooner than me?' she wondered.
One girl grinned excessively, basically screaming at her mother with incoherency, and the boy opposite of her seemed as nervous as Lara. It gave her a little bit of a selfish pleasure. Of course she wouldn't be the only person freaking out over this. It was kind of a big deal for almost everyone.
She was a huge nervous wreck when the time came for her to enter the doctor's office. It was an elderly lady with a big, reassuring smile. She properly explained the whole process of the soulmark appearing on the human body.
Lara changed to the hospital gown that was prepared for her. It was light and barely covered her thighs. It had to look that way so the doctor would be able to reach the place on the body were mark started to engrave itself. It was painful and the doctor would immediately inject the area with something to relieve the pain. Lara quickly forgot the name of the medicine.
She sat there, trying hard to suppress the dread and fear of the pain that she knew would come. Her mother squeezed her hand gently while the doctor prepared the injection. All they could do now was wait.
Lara found a clock on the other side of the room and focused all her attention there. The silence in the room only deepened as her mind suddenly became aware of the ticking clock. You'd never hear it if you didn't pay attention.
Not even two minutes remained. The second hand moved from one black stripe to another until the whole minute passed. Lara then averted her eyes, not wanting to know when it'd start. She wasn't sure what would be worse: staying in oblivion and having the pain suddenly erupt or knowing when exactly it'd happen? Would knowing ease the pain?
She didn't count the seconds even if she really wanted to. Her eyes were closed and she barely noticed the crushing force with which she held her mother's hand.
Her whole body felt numb and wobbly thank to the pills she'd taken. A rush of heat went through her, but she blamed it on the pills and didn't mention it to the doctor. She only decided to speak up when the hotness faded, though not completely.
It remained in one place. Just slightly above her right collarbone, stretching a few more centimeters back and reaching the nape of her neck, ultimately creating a round line in the shape of a necklace.
All she felt was a burning sensation, nothing extremely painful as a soulmark process was often described.
The doctor didn't waste time and injected the stuff in her neck - the area where it burned. She probably knew better than Lara and realized what was happening and was about to follow even if the girl stated that more medicine wouldn't be necessary. The response from the doctor was a knowing smile and a needle to the neck.
In a matter of seconds, Lara doubled in pain. She heard her mother's worried voice fading in background as the ringing in her ears worsened.
She wanted to scratch her neck, to make the burning go away but it only increased until she felt like she was literally on fire. The pills and injection combined did little to no good.
After few minutes, the pain finally subsided and she was ready to hear the sentence. Her mother approached her with a big smile that Lara happily returned. She put Lara's sweat-soaked hair away from her neck and read the sentence before she would repeat it aloud. But she didn't do so and instead her smile dropped and her skin went ashen from the shock.
"It... it will be alright honey." She stuttered, clearly bewildered but still trying to make her daughter feel better about what would come.
Lara's eyes watered upon seeing her mother's reaction. Could it really be that bad? Did it forecast something dangerous, lethal even?
"Mum, please, just say it." She closed her eyes as if waiting for an execution. This was much worse than how she imagined this evening going.
In that instant, she recalled the dark clouds from yesterday, the omen of this upsetting moment. For the second time that day, Lara was expecting something vile. The sweet oblivion of unawareness would fade soon and she'd be caught in the depressing reality once more.
"Welcome to Starbucks, can I take your order?" Her mother said slowly, and so quietly that Lara could barely make out the words coming from her mouth. She wasn't sure if she heard right and it took her a moment to comprehend what was said.
Her mind went blank after she realized what her soulmark said and what it meant. She couldn't focus on anything. If the doctor or her mother were talking to her, she couldn't hear them. There was nothing but misery left.
She'd never have what her parents did, or half the planet for that matter. How was she ever supposed to find him if there were hundreds of Starbucks in her city alone? She could visit every single one of them, but what if her soulmate wouldn't be working at that particular day, or what if he would have a day off?
And what if he was just someone working there for only a short amount of time? What a stupid sentence. Why did she have to be the one to get it? Why couldn't it state at least his name or something useful?
"Lara, look at me. Lara!" Her mum was shouting at her, desperately trying to get her attention.
"Baby girl, you're thinking too much. Just calm down. Everything is going to be alright. I promise honey." She reassured her, but her attempts failed.
Lara ignored her words and fell back to the hospital bed. She hadn't even noticed when she stood up. It didn't matter. She was going to die alone, no children or grandchildren. Just her. All alone in this world.
She felt like crying, and that's exactly what she did. She stormed out of there with tears streaming down her face. She didn't care about all those strange looks people were giving her and crossed the road in hurry, not caring about cars.
Her mother found her sitting on the ground, leaning on their car and eerily quiet. There were traces of tears on her face that she hadn't bothered wiping and her mother had to pull her from the ground or else she wouldn't have moved. Once back home, Lara went straight to bed.
When her mother woke up the next day, the first thing she did was check on her daughter, only to find her gone, with her bed still unmade and sheets wrinkly. She slightly panicked at first, but as the events of the last night dawned on her, she was sure that her daughter simply needed to clear her head and luckily, she knew of someone who returned just yesterday from a week long family trip and could always cheer her daughter up.
Lara's best friend found her outside of the Starbucks closest to where Lara lived. She was glancing at every barista working there and looking ready to cry again. So Alexa hugged her. Her embrace was comforting and she poured all of her emotions into it.
She wanted Lara to know that she was close and that she'd be there for her no matter what; that Lara wasn't alone. She was sorry she couldn't be there with her best friend yesterday but it simply wasn't manageable and Lara kind of forgot to text her after it was over.
She wasn't mad, though a little confused as to why she wouldn't immediately bring the good news. As soon as Mrs. O'Malie called her and explained everything with worry in her voice, she knew she was needed and completely understood.
She knew Lara would be at the closest cafe, which was also a Starbucks branch. They've been there together many times.
Lara cried on her shoulder even though she wished she could stop. She had shed enough tears already. But whenever she calmed down, it took one glance back at the cafe and she was whimpering all over again.
For the next few weeks, the girls rode around the city and visited every Starbucks in the way. With every visit, Lara became sadder, frustrated, desperate. Desperate to hear her soulmate say those words.
She heard it so often but felt nothing. Everyone said that you would know if it was the right person. That you'd feel it. But she never did.
She stopped looking for him after few months. It was just making her feel more miserable. It was torture. Every time she stepped, no, glanced at Starbucks, hope rose inside of her, and then slowly begun to sink as the realization that he wasn't there disappointed her. Again.
She was on her way to Alexa's place when she called her and asked her to get her some hot chocolate. She was just two blocks away from Starbucks and the long walk would only do her good, so she agreed to buy it for her even though she knew what it led to.
She was just few steps from the entrance when it crossed her mind: 'What if?'
No. She refused to do this to herself. She would have high expectations and then they would be crushed, just like they had been every single time. This time wouldn't be any different.
With one last sigh, she opened the door. She didn't look up and kept her head down. Lara hated to look into a stranger's eyes because she would always wonder what would happen if this stranger was him.
Several times she glanced at the barista, her mouth going dry from how handsome some of them were, but admitting physical attraction wasn't the same as finding soulmate. She was sure of that.
Lara stopped behind the woman that stood at the counter, her eyes missing the barista and going straight up to the menu over his head. Only thing she noticed was that it was indeed a man. His sandy brown hair was right at the bottom of her sight.
Lara was tense, with a weird sensation in her belly. She couldn't place it. It felt like this funny tingling and she simply brushed it off to the stress and trepidation of visiting Starbucks. She'd never felt this way before, although she wasn't in Starbucks for some time. Maybe she just forgot what it felt like to get disappointed again.
She shook her head gently. She was being ridiculous. Lara focused back on the menu and decided to order plain hot chocolate. Alexa wasn't very specific about what she wanted but Lara knew her friend would drink anything that contained even an ounce of sugar in it.
As the woman in front of her moved to wait for her order to be done, Lara finally approached the counter and before she even looked up at the guy, he spoke up.
"Welcome to Starbucks, can I take your order?"
He said those words to her as if it were nothing but a rehearsed line he had to say dozen times during a day. He was bored of the tedious task he had to do repeatedly, not entertained at all.
Those words might be empty to him, but to her it meant everything, because she finally felt what it was to be truly alive.
