WALUIGI X LUIGI
Written by the rev
one day, luigi was leaving for work in his 2002 toyota camry
he ran across man in purple, on his morning jog
the man appeared to be unhappy, and was jogging with the least enthusiasm anyone could possibly have
luigi, being the good samiritan he was, rolled down the windows on his car
and pulled up next to the man
"what's wrong? rough day?", luigi asked
the man in purple stopped his jog, and turned to luigi. "yeah. my roommate mike called me a wagecuck this morning, and it pissed me off. he thinks im working at mcdonalds but the truth is even more depressing. they fired me 3 weeks ago because i dont have access to a shower, and ive been walking around downtown for a few hours ever since to make him think im still working."
luigi was shocked to hear this. after all, president toadstool had claimed that joblessness was nearly zero on the morning news broadcast. this man must have been in dire straits indeed
he did a u-turn, so that the passenger's seat was facing the man in purple, and patted the off-colour, slightly peeled seat next to him
and said "climb on in!"
the man in purple, shocked at this display of kindness, slowly approached the car, got inside, and closed the door
luigi said "what's your name, friend?" to which the man in purple took off his hat and responded "waluigi, sir."
luigi smiled, and passed the man a granola bar from the glove compartment. "have you eaten today, waluigi?", he asked, and waluigi shook his head back and forth
the two drove off, talking about life's ups and downs. eventually they reached luigi's place of work- an office complex on top of the local coin bank, where he was employed as an accountant
they parked outside, but much to waluigi's surprise, luigi handed him a small bundle of money from his wallet
"there's a mushroom mart two blocks down from here, and a gym a couple stores down from that. get yourself some food and bottled water, and use my gym membership to get yourself a shower. meet me back here whenever you're ready. there's been some talk from my bosses about new interns recently, and i think i've got just the guy to offer them."
a few months later, and the two were both working happily at toadsworth coin bank's as number crunchers
luigi's apartment was small, but he managed to fit his new friend on the couch for a little while
after a couple of months, they had saved up enough to purchase a larger apartment in the suburbs
more months went by, and waluigi had gotten his own car, and a couple of suits. he had been working his way up the corporate ladder at the accounting firm, due to his incredible work ethic and impeccable charisma
luigi had moved downstairs to the telling department, where he was paid handsomely for each hard day of work
mike the roommate overdosed on fire flower during his second week in prison. waluigi was one of the only people at the funeral
waluigi and luigi were both very content. their lives had improved based on the kindness shown to eachother and to the world around them
waluigi and luigi were both very content. their lives had improved based on the kindness shown to eachother and to the world around them
rafa noticed the two while shopping at the grocery store one day, and never thought anything of them again
iwamoto, employed at the bakery down the street, loved seeing waluigi and luigi each day. they became regulars at the store and had frequent conversations about any number of topics, brightening each of their days
rev finally closed the storybook, putting a satisfying close to his strange improved story
and ray, having heard the best bedtime story ever, finally got to sleep…
THE END
